A Sorta Fairytale*

life | day 4 - first day back

2010-01-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

it was something i've been sort of dreading except that i knew two weeks of vacation will just pass by like it never happened. i enjoyed the two-week vacation because i got to rest (ok, probably not a lot of rest), spend time with family and friends. i did 3 consecutive shoots in 3 different locations with different people. it was fun, but now i'm backed-up in post-processing hell by 4 more people.

first day at work meant i would need to deal with the problems temporarily shelved over the holidays. i somehow wished they would magically disappear over the two-weeks hoping that would be santa's gift but i guess i haven't been good enough to deserve some magic this christmas. oh well, one can dream, right? today was a bit stressful and i had to show some teeth in a telecon (ok, that was an analogy) because i wanted to put somebody in their proper place. the intention was good except that it didn't sound like they thought of it lengthily to begin with. its one of the things i hope will change in the future, for people to have well-thought of plans. until then, i have to just ... errr .... smile but show them we're no pushovers.

sorry, marunong din ako mag-ingles. harharhar.

i decided, against everything my body was telling me, to jog/walk around highstreet tonight. i swear i felt like my heart was going to explode while i was running. it was a good 30mins of jogging and walking, no rests in between. i think i just need to keep this up to slowly condition my body to the torture. willpower, i choose you.

no dinner tonight. water. water. water. oh i forgot, i had a banana. if all of these reduced eating doesn't work, i'm sorry pero BELO na. harharhar.

2009 | recap

2009-12-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

2009 year has been a banner year - new work, new friends, deeper friendships, greater challenges, good decisions, bad decisions. it was a good ... make that - a great year despite of the economic crisis, the A(H1N1) and the calamities. its touch to remember everything that has happened but i'll take me back as far as i can remember.

photography. i learned and grew a lot as a photographer this year - mostly through the patient guidance of more experienced photographer friends. i also celebrated my first year in photography and i realized my inkling towards portraiture breaking the monotony with landscapes and travel photography. i finally went on my first solo shoot and eventually found it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be to shoot solo. this photography journey has taken me to a world i never realized i would vastly enjoy and while i have so much to learn still, i am happy that i have learned as much as i can in 2009 and hopefully everyone can enjoy the ride with me.

friends. God has blessed me with an abundance of "real" friends. i have been lucky to have met permanent friends from high school, college, bench and intel. it sometimes is difficult to see everyone and go to all get togethers but i know you guys know "i try." this year, i found new friends and deeper friendships even when i wasn't looking. my photography family has been instrumental in my growth as a photographer. i found true friends yet again.

career. yes, i finally exited from a company i've been with for the last eleven plus years. i've learned so much from intel and i have no regrets whatsoever from leaving it behind. God has provided me with a job as quickly as i could have hoped for. a great new and challenging job. i gotta feeling that the road ahead is going to be an exciting one. 2010 is gonna be "get richer" year.

family. so far so good. my nephew is six and next year, he's gonna celebrate his seventh. its gonna be swell, i'll make sure of that. he's grown up so much that pretty soon he's not going to be our baby anymore. he's enjoying going to school in don bosco where i graduated so its all good.

fitness. what the hell is that? hahaha ok, for the nth time, i'm gonna go take care of this in 2010. Yummy is the goal in 2010. Yummy. Yummy. Yummy.

plans. there's going to be a lot lot of changes in 2010. no sense pre-empting it so they're going to be part of my blog entries as they happen.

travel. ilocos. thailand. cambodia. vietnam. nothing much to say except - FUN! next year, sydney baby! yahoo!

social life. this i gotta say - "whew. i can barely keep up."

i'm looking forward to 2010 because i get the feeling its going to be a BIG year. its going to be great and its making me super excited. God has been eternally good.

Thank you 2009 for a wonderful year.

life | spontaneous

2009-12-27T02:55:00.000+08:00

i think those unplanned, spur of the moment gimiks are the funnest. no nothing. just meet up and see where the road takes you. in this case, a late afternoon call and me living up to being "kaladkarin" saying "yes" without a thought. it really is what makes for great adventures.

somebody says tagaytay, nobody say no. we're used to where that is having worked adjacent to it for x number of years it feels like its just a stone's throw away. great thing about the road trip is that yance's driving (miss nya daw mag-drive e) so ali and i just sit back & relax. jowell drive's in a pump-no pump gas (i bet ano yang iniisip nyo hahaha) motion its giving me a headache. ali and i make fun of him and we laugh our hearts out. they keep talking about BNO and jowell mimics this radio dj, and i sit their laughing at his antics wondering wtf he is talking about. i make a mental note to check out the radio 6-10pm monday to thursday. not really a radio fan these days cause all the yakking is annoying.

we were starving when we reached buon giorno at cliffhouse and the place is packed. it was 930pm already and it the breeze was pretty cold. you gotta love this kind of weather this time of the year. 2 pizzas and 2 pastas and we were stuffed. it was a miracle to have eaten so much all the while laughing as we made fun and reminisced about a lot of things. nothing beats great conversations with friends. its one of the things we've been good at - picking where we left off. like it was just yesterday that we were together.

its amazing how many people there are in tagaytay. i think everyone is taking the opportunity to have a reprieve from the busy city life. cool weather really a bonus. we decide to settle for starbuck's down at paseo de sta rosa which is closer a drive for trixy (and R). adding trixy to the mix creates a different round of comedic stories. we laugh like we were the only people at starbuck's and we don't care. i realize we had our moments, our stories back at our intel days. it was a different kind of fun back then. and while we've settled to meeting different people now that we've journeyed to different paths, we retain the friendship and it feels like its something that is lasting.

*not gonna take the time to re-read anymore. my thoughts are scattered. i'm lacking sleep.

life | complications

2009-12-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

life indeed has a way of making things more exciting.

one member of the team sent a letter of resignation this morning. all reasons valid - promotion, office location. no reason to get in the way of someone else's dreams. i said congratulations of course. the timing sucks though because its yearend and it'd be a miracle to find a replacement in a month's time. i need to figure this out ... now. uhmm ok, maybe tomorrow cause my brain at this hour feels like jell-o.

in one meeting with a long-time supplier about a previous transaction, things got a bit heated (at least from his side) when he got emotional. he was interpreting all that i was saying in all the wrong ways - older that he was, i was also in a position of power so i had to reaffirm that. being emotionless is helpful - easier to think, no words to take back. gotta love self-control.

people at the office wants me to host this year's christmas party. good grief. are they serious? do they really know what they're getting themselves into? i warned them. hahaha

taking the day off today to go back to my ENT. so i think junior checked me up the first, then a reliever the second and senior the third time. senior says he can do the nasal polypecty (?) at the clinic, no need for an OR. hurrah to that i guess. its an outpatient procedure so i'm up and about right after ... hopefully, cause i have to drive myself in & out of the hospital.

fun times. merits a charlie chan chicken pasta. yumness.

life | letting go

2009-12-08T03:22:00.000+08:00

events of the past few days made me feel like i'm riding a rollercoaster again. its an emotional thrill and yet one that gets me spiraling between happy and sad. one of the drawbacks of being an OC is that i tend to obsessively overanalyze things - even the mundane ones. you don't realize it yet but you know you have to starting walking away. i'm thankful that i have friends who bear with the constant whining, the same-old-stories and the drama. having "real" friends is a blessing. it helps get you through the day.

after 7 years of being a member, i finally decided to cancel my gym membership. it did became a habit at some point but life gets in the way (or so that's my excuse) and i found excuses not to go. kakapagod e (ROFL!). seriously, i have a plan. i always have a plan B except that i haven't put it into motion yet. the good news at least for now is that i get 24K more money in 2010 (uhmm, make that 22K cause of some stupid rule). that's one additional travel for me! yay!

its mom's bday today. i think she's hitting the big 7-0. one thing i am very thankful for is that at this age, mom is still very much active and strong. i pray everyday for health and safety of my family. i'm thankful for having a responsible mom, despite being overbearing sometimes, has single-handedly raised us. having a dead-beat dad (there i said it) probably helped make me a better person (silver lining! LOL!). family = not perfect. i've dealt with it a long time ago.

all things considered, life is great. now if only i could have you, life would be perfect. maybe.

life | in the fast lane

2009-12-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

so i can't remember the last time i wrote something, and its not because of a lack of things to say. there are plenty but i guess i have been feeling a bit lazy putting things into words. christmas is literally around the corner i wonder where did the time go? i haven't done any christmas shopping yet and its going to be rush rush again this year. boohoo.

work has been quite steady. there's occasionally some hiccups but they remain manageable. the best thing about december workwise are the bonuses. the added moolah makes you feel doubly rich and you have an opportunity to buy something you've been eyeing for ... say the last few days. it takes a lot of self-control not to just go and burn those hard-earned moolah one time. incidentally, a friend decided to sell his old cam and upgrade to a new one. he was feeling a bit guilty about it because it sort of wiped out his bonus. but you could see how excited and HAPPY we was holding his new cam. how could that be bad? we do need some self-indulgence from time to time. and its not as if this purchase is going to go to waste, it is an investment. in his hands, can definitely turn into gold. wise move if i may say so.

been spending a lot of time with friends lately. social life is at an all-time high. i'm gonna have to keep up with the vitamins and figure out how to get better sleep. the zombie look isn't really working for me well. LOL. had dinner at this place called SALA the other night. food was quite good. would have gone well with a glass of red but had to settle for red grape juice. feasted on a box of royce's au lait as well. those things are worth every peso i paid for. chinese dinner last saturday at zongs - one dish - hot prawn salad. major yum. =)

going back to the doc (again) for another follow-up but from last i get the feeling he's going to tell me i need the minor surgery thing. bummer.

photography. i think i may have found a way to make money from it. i need to beef up my portfolio for it first. but we'll see if i can squeeze it my already busy busy life.

2010 still looks promising. a change is coming.

REGISTER : VISION POSSIBLE by MJ CACHERO

2009-12-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

Wanna look like a STAR?

life | time out

2009-11-24T12:27:00.000+08:00

it feels good to be out of the metro for a change. its one of the things i miss working in the faraway land of cavite - the absence of the rush of city life. i should slap myself for saying that but really, intoxicating as it is, it gets overwhelming sometimes. still the traffic and busy-ness is much better in mckinley hill versus that of the heart of makati - so i'm thankful for that already.

at least for the next three days (today included), this team building/training offers a brief respite from the city. and the holiday inn @ clark is quite lovely. flat screen tv, fancy beddings, free food - nothing really to complain about. feels like i'm living by myself already - perhaps a prelude to life in 2010 and beyond. got my mac in tow and a surprisingly reliable globe tatoo to keep me connected. i'm all good.

its going to be december next week. christmas is here before we know it. mom's turning 70 next month and i don't know where we should celebrate her birthday. i want to be able to treat her to somewhere fancier than usual.

despite everything, life is good.

missin' somebody much though.

life | day 320 : defective

2009-11-16T14:18:00.000+08:00

so blogging on a daily basis doesn't seem to be something i can do which is understandable with me trying to wrestle with my body's inability to sleep in one continuous block. but hey, i write when i can and when it inspires me.

watched 2012 with the gang last saturday. movie was alright - plot was too thin for me but the effects were darn good. not surprising that malls seem to be packed with a lot of people these days - weekends specially. after all, christmas is really just around the corner - 39 days to be exact. my early christmas shopping plans never really pans out so i'll have to wing it again this year.

for some reason, i was craving for some refreshing becky's lemon squares last saturday. so i drove to manila (near la salle) to buy some - actually took the liberty to buy some for the gang as well. pairs nice with coffee. it was refreshingly delicious. comfort food. yay.

i decided to see an ENT today because my sinus is inflamed and i have been having trouble breathing normally the past two, make that three weeks. Doc told me it was a polyp and i have to take some steroids for the next couple of weeks to see if the inflammation subsides. If not, he may need to surgically remove it. bummer. i should just tell people i'm getting a noselift instead. that'll make for better conversation. ok, i'm starting to think my body is defective. maybe the warranty has expired or i'm one of those models that's been recalled. LOL. hope the meds work. please please work.

while in mmc, i took the time to visit a good friend who just gave birth to her second daughter. she told me her name and i know the initials are J & A but i can't remember (memory loss). baby looks adorably cute. i super love kids. they're all just so loveable. looking at all those babies really can brighten up anybody's day. I know cause when i saw 'em, overwhelming joy.

here's one song i'm so loving off john mayer's new album "battle studies" ...

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life | day 313 : if it was that easy

2009-11-10T01:58:00.000+08:00

monday started off without a hitch. i was off to a good start for the week - no monday blues! i was giddy. the weather was sunny. i had a feeling of unbelievable lightness in me. yay for that.

it was a typical day workwise. documents to sign, meetings to attend. it wasn't slow and it wasn't fast - so it was somewhere in between. steady lang.

my first day back at the gym was a bust. i did my usual abdominals and moved on to get my heart pumping. 5 mins of super cardio and i stopped - heart beating too fast i felt like i was going to blackout. losing consciousness in a full-packed gym is social suicide so i decided to stop. 5 mins is better than nothing. note to self - "take it slow."

a good friend sent me this quote - "if you love someone, tell them, because hearts are broken by words left unspoken." OUCH. yeah, slap me in the face will you? seriously, if it was that easy but i've been brainwashed as a child to believe in fairytales. i deserve another slap for that i guess. its complicated.

going to the gym got me all fired up. adrenaline pumping. didn't get to sleep until midnight and magically woke up at 3am --- yeah, the witching hour.

sleep deprived. still happy. how wrong is that?

life | day 310-312

2009-11-09T02:28:00.000+08:00

friday would have been a typical work day except that workwise, we are in the middle of planning week. the meetings were painfully long but the one good thing about it is that people at the office are mostly easy to deal with. we finally managed to break-in the pingpong table we recently bought (out of donations) and i have to say its been years since last time i held a table tennis racket. rusty is all i can say about my playing skills. dinner didn't push through with lem & mj because they got stuck at their shoot down south. its friday and traffic on a friday is pretty lame. i, on the other hand, got home in good time.

saturday was kind of busy. i always try to do all my errands during saturdays so that i won't have to worry about them the next day. the downside of saturday is that everybody seems to be thinking the same thing so traffic is bad. and i do mean b-a-d. the best thing about saturday though is that its cheat day - so i don't feel guilty eating rice. i finally managed to see the gang during miggy's birthday dinner. i really miss 'em. unexpected surprise � dunno why but it seems we never run out of stories to share. got home at 5am.

woke up at 8am. bummer. why can't i sleep for 8 straight hours like other people? felt sluggish the whole day trying to psyche myself into sleeping - to no avail. i finally managed to pull myself together to do the groceries. S&R is a haven. i just really love it there. there's a lot of people but it doesn't feel claustrophobic. slept like a baby sunday night. yay.

its monday. i feel lightheaded. might be cause i had a great weekend, sleep-deprived not counting. feels like there's some good news ahead. or it might just be me, because i can't stop smiling.

life | day 309

2009-11-06T01:31:00.000+08:00

work has a way of bringing you to places you know existed but probably will never go to. case in point is the customs office somewhere near the manila port. the building itself is alright but the road going there is treacherous and i would never for the life of me venture out there at night. work has brought me at its doorstep for three or maybe four times already.

being there is like being in a movie - lots of characters. i sometimes have to ask myself if this is an office because it looks like one but on one side are people eating, a kid sleeping on top of the desk, its one of the busiest government offices i've been to. eating is big here. i always see various people lugging around pots, chicharon and a bunch of other edible stuff. it actually is a fun experience being there - the parade of people make up for the lackluster surrounding.

dinner last night was supposed to just be a good serving of greens but somehow got drawn into ordering additionally a rack of baby backs. to top it off, a good serving of delicious what was it? mud pie ... there's really nothing to cap off a nice meal and take your mind away than an ice-cream like dessert. comfort food. looking back, my need for comfort has always been about two things - ice cream (vanilla bean rocks!) and shopping. the latter of course being a much much more expensive alternative. but then again, haagen dazs also doesn't come cheap.

there's probably another great news, workwise, looming in the horizon but i'd stay mum about it for a little while because i believe in the saying "nothing is final until it is final." make sense? basta yun. all i can say is that i'm getting giddy thinking about it and its driving me crazy figuring out my choices.

my calendar is booked solid 9-4pm in meetings.

its friday today. thank God for that.

life | day 308

2009-11-04T16:41:00.000+08:00

this cold that i'm having won't leave me. it likes me too much. i'm hoping that the herbs (whatever they may be) the chinese doctor gave me works because they're pretty expensive. i'm trying out eastern medicine for a change. please please make me a believer.

the other new thing i tried yesterday was acupuncture. good thing i don't have any needle aversion because one poke really hit a nerve my body jumped in place. it was an experience - a bit boring because after the needles were placed, there was 15 to 20 minutes i was trying to observe what has happening. boring as it was, i have to say it actually works. my lower back doesn't hurt as much but i'd need 3 to 4 more sessions.

when you're trying to figure out things, sometimes the answer actually comes staring back at you. this is a realization this morning - me, having been hung up with a certain someone now know its time to give up. i really can't do this again because a part of me keeps on dying everytime. a good friend is right, fairy tales don't happen, at least not for us.

looking at my calendar, november is b-u-s-y. i can't figure out where to squeeze in some christmas shopping. dang.

where's an "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" when you need one? i need one. like now.

sicky sicky weekend

2009-11-02T13:23:00.000+08:00

i had many plans over the weekend but they all kind of got sidetracked because i woke up friday morning to a fever. it was really pretty bad because while running a fever, my left eye and a portion of my upper jaw was in pain. driving myself to the ER was no walk in the park and i had to close my eyes everytime i stopped because of the traffic. thank God mom was there to accompany me to the hospital. imagine my relief when they shot me with a strong painkiller, paracetamol and two other stuff. instant gratification. i got my prescription antibiotics too.

its one of the things i worry about if i live alone. at least at home, when i feel sick, i know there's people who will be taking care of me. friday, i kind of felt helpless, well maybe not totally (remember, i still managed to drive) but having mom around was a relief. if i lost consciousness, at least there was someone left to call for help. so its times like this when independence feels overrated.

suffice it to say, being sick made me housebound the whole weekend (today included) and i watched too many shows that my brain feels kind of stumped already. it'd be great to go back to work tomorrow (or not!) because the change in scenery is something i need. okay, so i might regret that as the week progresses but hey its a short workweek so there's only four days left to work. yay for that.

while cleaning my room today, i realized there are a LOT of things i still need to take care of before the year ends - work stuff, personal stuff. i've been putting off rationalizing i didn't have the free time to work through them. i really need to calendar them soon.

meeting malousky in a while. some long overdue chit chat - over yummy charlie chan chicken pasta (adik!) and coffeee and dessert. the one good thing about getting sick is that i can eat anything. but that's me.

random mutterings ...

2009-10-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

it was great to finally hang out again with friends from the old blue sunday night. while we haven't really lost touch after our exit, the hang outs were few and far between. the best thing about being friends with them though is that despite the randomness of our get togethers, it feels like the last time was just yesterday. i feel proud of how far we've all come after the old blue. i think one of the reasons we get along well is because we share common passions - the good life, traveling and adventure among other things. so yeah, it feels really nice to reconnect - i miss the weekday drinking madness, the parties, the late night get togethers and the drinks ... looking back, i realize we were maybe alcoholics by heart ... real glad we're over that phase.

the other thing i was pondering on was that whether i'm really lucky or i just have a knack for perfect timing. a few friends know what i'm talking about but 2010 is going to be fun. its going to be a new adventure and i'm excited about the possibilities.

a friend asked me over the weekend if i've ever done something regretful before. i said "yes." we've all done something we aren't proud of and other people, even friends, got hurt. we can get careless and say something we regret later on. the good thing about people is not only their capacity to love, but also their capacity to forgive. time heals all wounds they say, and i believe that. maybe not now, but things get better with time. the important thing is to see what life wants to teach you - that you should say "sorry, it won't happen again." or "sorry, i was stupid." and really mean it. learn from our mistakes.

i'm distracted the past few days. blame it on you.

torete

2009-10-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

acel (of moonstar 88) was one of the guests at last night's world vision event thing where i was hanging out with malou, jm and anjo. got us all excited because she started her set with an old-time favorite "torete" which incidentally was a song i played in repeat mode when work was becoming too stressful. acel was amazingly pretty and you couldn't help get mesmerize with her charm. gotta love her.

hearing the song again made me realize how my heads messed up because of someone. can't get you off my head.

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LSS 2day

2009-10-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

heard this song again and i couldn't keep it off my head ... i miss the classics!

youtube rocks!

you to me are everything

the real thing (1976)

I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to.
I'd do anything for you
your wish is my command

I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand.
Words cannot express how much you mean to me.
There must be some other way to make you see.
If it takes my heart and soul
you know I'd pay the price.
Everything that I possess I'd gladly sacrifice.

Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby
Oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby
Oh baby
You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon.
You know you've got the power girl
To keep me holding on.
So now you've got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh baby

Though you're close to me
we seem so far apart.
Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart.
If it takes forever
girl then I'm prepared to wait.
The day you give your love to me won't be a day too late

Oh you to me are everything.
The sweetest song that I could sing.
Oh baby
Oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby
Oh baby
You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon.
You know you've got the power girl
To keep me holding on.
So now you've got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh baby

Oh you to me are everything.
the sweetest song that I could sing.
(Your the sweetest song that I could sing.)
Oh baby (oh baby)
Oh baby (yes I need you baby)
You to me are everything.
The sweetest song that I could sing.
Oh baby (you are everything to me)
Oh baby (cant you see)
You to me are everything.
The sweetest song that I could sing.
(Your the sweetest song that I could sing.)
Oh baby
Oh baby (you're everything)
You to me are everything.
The sweetest song that I could sing.
Oh baby
Oh baby (your the sweetest song)
You to me are everything.
The sweetest song that I could sing.

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happy | tired

2009-09-29T17:17:00.000+08:00

i honestly didn't know there was a typhoon over the past weekend. i woke up amidst the heavy rains thinking it was another "bed" weather but soon realized the gravity the non-stop rains were doing to other places in the metro. the heavens literally wept non-stop and any reprieve from the rains weren't forthcoming. it is amazing that in this age, the abundance of information flooding twitter (which i have really grown to love) and facebook is truly astounding. amateur videos and photos flooded cyberspace and those kept people abreast of what was happening beyond the comfort of their homes.

times like these is when you see the humanity of people's spirits. malou & i decided to volunteer at world vision in answer to miggy's request for help last monday. repacking sacks of rice ain't easy - the sacks were heavy, the deed was laborious but everyone were in good spirits. i felt happy being in the company of such generous people (jan, marjo, jm, anjo and malou). i told malou that there is a natural high knowing what we were doing is for a worthy cause - that in some way, it affects the lives of people in a positive way. charity does that and its probably why a lot of people do it - food for the soul.

i got pulled into an early morning tuesday when i barely just arrived at the office. it was again some volunteer effort for the company to check some of our employees who were also badly affected. it was a good thing my schedule was a bit light during that day so taking the day to help out was forgivable. we did the groceries. we did the repacking and off we went. i was assigned to my colleagues in the marikina area and we passed by familiar roads and i couldn't help but feel moved by what i've seen. marikina riverbanks (mall) was in really bad shape. there was debris everywhere and muddy cars being towed. along the roads were people busy with a lot walking still muddy. you've seen it in videos, pictures and television but being there where it all happened felt frighteningly surreal.

both my colleagues who we visited are okay. they've started clean-up and slowly going back to their normal lives. it was a frightening experience for both. we see these things happen in the provinces and think really nothing of it until it happens in our lives. its the only time we realize that these events can happen to anyone. what happened with "Ondoy" is a tragedy and i hope that we learn something from our mistakes.

the past two days has been tiring. but there's a feeling of happiness and relief with it. so if you are free - donate or volunteer somewhere. there's still a lot of people needing help. Go!

why GLEE is a must see

2009-09-19T04:44:00.000+08:00

ever since i saw the pilot of glee a few months back, i knew this show was going to be something enjoyable. and i wasn't wrong. it just gets better with each episode. the cast is awesome. here's one of the highlights of the show last week - while lea michele isn't your super gorgeous eye candy, she's perfect as a glee club misfit and those vocals are just amazing.

monday adventures

2009-09-15T01:49:00.000+08:00

one of things i enjoy about work is that it helps bring me places and this new job is no exception. our sudden "goodwill" trip to davao meant i was finally see this mindanao even for just a wee bit. and later on, the roadtrip to cagayan de oro will mean i get to see more of this part of the country.

we've sort of been blessed with good weather so far. from manila down to davao. smooth flight. i doze off upon take-off - seemed like only for a few minutes. i'm hoping i didn't snore during that brief moment. lol.
coincidentally, saw two people @ the airport. one said hi to me and i said hi back, all the while trying to figure out who he was. ahhhh a schoolmate from college who's now a pilot. i also saw a very pregnant me-an who was our gracious host up north during our ilocos trip.
at the davao airport, while waiting for our ride, heard someone call my name and it was marian, another schoolmate from college. small world. the country manager and sales manager probably thinks i'm super popular now. hahaha pogi points.
dinner was interesting. it was my first with a major customer. i did see how business is done - there from the seasoned professionals. being the youngest in the country leadership team has its disadvantages - experience is the best teacher so i learned as much as i can.
dinner was seafood galore. crabs, crabs and more crabs. surprisingly managed to stay away from rice. managed to eat the crabs without using my hands (bummer). didn't overeat. self-discipline - gotta love it when it lasts.
had my first taste of fresh durian. social pressure. i'm not so bothered by the smell anymore. did i like it? i'm somewhere in the middle. its creamy, pungent and tastes unlike anything i've eater before. it probably tastes better cold. i could eat it but its probably not something i'd crave for.
hotel isn't bad. no wi-fi though which is a bummer. this globe tatoo at least is becoming useful. facebook. multiply. web ym. internet fix.

long day ahead. breakfast with another key customer. meeting with plantation @ 10. warehouse visit somewhere in between. lunch with another key customer. 5 hour drive to cagayan de oro.

landscape shoot somewhere there. its gonna be a lovely day for sure.

sunday is the day before monday

2009-09-13T13:31:00.000+08:00

in my head ... on a rainy, lazy sunday.

after three years, my braces finally came off yesterday. yay. yay. yay. it actually feels pretty weird not having 'em but i'm happy there will be no more loose wires to torture me. i got the retainers today and i have to say they're ain't bad at all. hmmm at least so far. ortho says i gotta stay faithful wearing them for the next three months which i will and if hopefully, fingers crossed, be done by yearend. yay. yay. yay.
back to back events at opposite sides of the metro is pretty exhausting. but you know you gotta do it because these people are important. jerc & angel finally tied the knot at the chapel at the hill in batulao, batangas yesterday. glad i wore a suit instead of a barong because it was pretty darn windy & cold there. i had to skip the reception though which was a bummer - yum food and all. i was pretty psyched traffic wasn't that bad on the way to marikina - to B's birthday celebration. It was really great seeing the gang again. happy birthday B!
work is going to take me to davao and cagayan de oro this week. davao, to meet with key accounts and plantation heads who i am hoping is not going to berate me for supply issues i have no control over. i decided to attend a product launch in cagayan de oro - might be a good idea to keep my hands dirty and see how a real farm looks like. hopefully, i'd be able to take some landscapes on the side.
i've swore off having to eat rice the start of the week. i've so far been successful, not even a wee bit bitchy from the carbo-deficit.
i just realized i can get easily fixated. i'm kinda mental that way. i think there's a way out of it - shutdown and reboot.
less than a month before indochina. coundown begins.
fall tv season started this week. hurray for glee. hurray for supernatural. its going to be downright addicting from hereon.

i need to figure out what to do with my life next. there's a lot swirling in my head. i need to be brilliant. brilliant. brilliant. brilliant. sort things out.

BER-months again

2009-09-06T05:06:00.000+08:00

to say that time passes by quickly today is an understatement. it passes by unnoticed most of the time now because we can't wait for the week/workdays to be over and we lament the weekends being too short (except maybe for the past 3 weeks we've been enjoying 3-day weekends). its a viscious cycle but one we have to go through day in and day out. to recap :

got a bunch of new friends - mj, mimi, brian, eco, anjo, marjo, jm, joseph, dino and a whole lot more to mention but you guys know who you all are. thank you! its an ever growing list of people - gotta love 'em.
out of the big blue. its been a sort of long wait but things have a way of working itself out. enjoyed the last out of the country trips (US, Malaysia) courtesy of the big blue. said goodbye to colleagues, friends and acquiantances. surprisingly, after 11+ years, i didn't shed a tear and my last day felt like it was just an ordinary day. life goes on.
the blessing of finding work unexpectedly. God is indeed good. work right after my last day from the big blue. great position. challenging responsibilities. unlimited opportunities. where i go from hereon depends on me alone. aim high.
one year in photography. i think i've found a passion. i do believe i've learned so much during this year being with my talented photo buds that i've seen improvements in how i shoot photographs. still lots of things to aspire for.

the one thing i love about the BER months though is that it means Christmas is coming. that means bonuses and gifts and simply more happiness and cheer. i love christmas and if sound like a broken record saying that year after year, then so be it. Best time of the year. I'm going to start my christmas list this month and start shopping early. Its been a great year so far - so many reasons to smile for, so many reasons to be thankful for.

its time to spread the cheer.

coming to terms

2009-09-01T16:00:00.000+08:00

i was curious about the shoutout i read about this morning. i thought at first the goodbye was nothing more as well-wishing to an officemate off to some adventure outside the PH. sad to say, that wasn't the case when i read another shout out that my officemate passed away.

dengue. again.

again because it was just last week when a friend's childhood friend also passed away because of it. it made me realize, once again, how fragile life can be. your life cut short by circumstances we never really have control over. even though i'm from the camp who believes the "if its your time, its your time" saying, i can't help but feel sad about a colleague's passing.

while driving to work this morning, morbid as it may sound, i asked myself if i was ready to go. and in more ways, i was telling myself that maybe i am - that the past thirty-something years has been fruitful - recent years more compared to the past others. at the back of my head though, i'm not sure if i've prepared myself well spiritually - and if i follow the teachings of catholicism to which i was raised to, i can't help but say i kind of fall short. so i guess, i'm a 50/50 right now.

life is short indeed. death is the one thing i loathe against loathe about being a grown up. its a heartbreaker, no matter the circumstances. coming to terms though with my own mortality makes me appreciate life more. it helps me live life to the fullest and be a better person (maybe not all the time). there's so many things i wanna do and experience and i think i'm at that point where what i want becomes more probable. here's to the coming adventures ahead.

whatever will be, will be.

JOIN NOW : EGYPTIAN SHOOT BY MJ CACHERO

2009-08-31T03:45:00.000+08:00

On SEPTEMBER 12,

be one with the mystery and allure of the ancient egyptians.

live it. look it. walk it.

Join the open EGYPTIAN SHOOT by MJ CACHERO!

fallin' for you

2009-08-28T02:53:00.000+08:00

ay ay, i love this song! hahaha relate to the max! =P

fallin' for you

colbie caillat

I don't know but

I think i maybe

Fallin' for you

Dropping so quickly

Maybe i should

Keep this to myself

Waiting 'til i

Know you better

I am trying

Not to tell you

But i want to

I'm scared of what you'll say

So i'm hiding what i'm feeling

But i'm tired of

Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life

And now i found ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

As i'm standing here

And you hold my hand

Pull me towards you

And we start to dance

All around us

I see nobody

Here in silence

It's just you and me

I'm trying

Not to tell you

But i want to

I'm scared of what you'll say

So i'm hiding what i'm feeling

But i'm tired of

Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life

And now i found ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

Oh i just can't take it

My heart is racing

The emotions keep spinning out

I've been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life

And now i found ya

I don't know where to

I think i'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

I think i'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it

I want you all around me

And now i just can't hide it

I think i'm fallin' for you (x2)

I'm fallin' for you

Ooohhh

Oh no no

Oooooohhh

Oh i'm fallin' for you

Fallin' For You - Colbie Caillat
FREE MP3 DOWNLOADS @ MP3-CODES.COM

can breathe a little better

2009-08-27T00:33:00.000+08:00

finally. i can breathe a little easier today because my regional boss is flying back to singapore today. the last three days were exhausting - doing oculars and listening to presentations, some great and some just utterly boring, can be taxing. add to that, as the host, i had to be witty and conversant when all i wanted to do was get some more snooze time. i'd have to say at least it was a productive trip - there's nothing better to establish a connection than meeting face to face.

the presentation with my regional boss went better than i expected. coming up with crisp, clear decks is something i've always been good at (its really a fact, ask my former colleagues lol). i'm also happy because he gave good feedback which hopefully is a good jump point when i talk to the CM later today. i'm crossing my fingers that he will acquiesce to my request. if he does, then its going to be good ... uhmmm make that great news.

so while the last three days have been mind-numbing, i think it all went according to plan. hopefully, it bears the right kind of fruit i'm hoping for.

happiness.

tap tap saturday

2009-08-08T08:40:00.000+08:00

after about 4 days of self-deprivation, i decided to focus on my energies in resolving my personal dramas through other means. i can't deny the fact that i'm a social creature and i thrive in the company of people. so this "alone" time, while fruitful, productive and enlightening are best left limited rather than for prolonged periods. i just can't take it.

i finally was able to go to the dentist today and yay, he took out all four of my molar brackets already and one more month of checking and i will probably be rid of these metal contraption. it feels strange not having the molar bands, had them for too long that i forgot what it feels like not having them. oh well, i'm not missing them.

not much to do on this lazy saturday. its windy outside. warm. kinda nice even. probably a good day to be outside - windbreaker flapping and all but i can't help the feeling its going to rain later on. maybe i should take off and drive somewhere - but my head tells me i'm lazy to even try.

i know what to do na lang ... play tap tap! =)

hiatus

2009-08-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

i woke up today feeling heavy hearted. its probably because i still felt exhausted despite the hours of sleep i had last night and my body ached and my head was throbbing. i'm getting more of these headaches lately and its likely because work has been a bit demanding. i was spaced out through most of the day but miraculously managed to finish some of the more urgent deadlines. tomorrow's going to be a long day again - and i hate feeling the way i do today, work has been a blessing but its not it that's making me feel this way. i am overcome with a great feeling of sadness, a feeling that something's missing and i need to find it.

i think i need to take some time off right now. i need some time away from multiply or facebooking. i've been too distracted lately and i should focus on the more important things that i've been putting off.

so there, a self-imposed hiatus from it all. one solid month starting tomorrow.

happiness in a short letter

2009-07-21T14:25:00.000+08:00

i finally found the time to write a short note to my sponsor child at WORLD VISION a couple of weeks back via e-mail (yeah, i so hate doing the snail mail thing) and was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter a few days ago. the letter read :

dear mr. jay santos,

masayang araw sa inyo. ako po si isang grade 3 pupil. masayang mag-aaral at gusto kong makatapos sa pag-aaral. malapit lang ang school sa amin. maglalakad ako araw araw. bilang panganay na anak, ako ay tumutulong sa gawin sa bahay at nag-aalaga sa aking mga kapatid. kadalasan naming pagkain ay gulay at isda. paborito kong laro ay basketball. ako ay masaya at may sponsor na. salamat po sa inyong tulong. maraming salamat po.

your sponsored child,

reading my sponsored child's letter reminded me how blessed i am to be living this carefree, comfortable life. honestly, there is a sense of fulfillment for being able to contribute back to society no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

if you have PHp 600 a month to spare, i encourage you to sponsor a child.

see here for details: Sponsor a Child through World Vision

we can make a difference!

iTouch

2009-07-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

i've been trying to decide which gadget would be perfect to store my photo collection and the best i've come across was apple's iphone. now with me probably never going the iphone way, i was looking at the iTouch instead. i was really happy when a good (and one of my oldest) friends decided to give me one as a present. thanks dale! we've been friends a long time and you know you are one of my oldest, dearest and most treasured friends.

so far, i'm quite happy playing around with my 32GB iTouch! yay!

mj@23 : killabot performances

2009-03-31T18:08:00.000+08:00

one of the pretty lame things about hanging out with the killabotz is that they're not only a good looking bunch of individuals but they're rich in talent as well. we can't all be entertainers but these two - jm and lem - showed us that not only are they killabot models, they can also carry a tune. its too bad i don't have videos of eco and his "man in the mirror" number or even brian's "half-crazy" which is my new favorite song of the moment. i gotta be ready next time.

jm's seem at home with i-axe's "ako'y sa 'yo, ika'y akin" which he sings to the delight of the crowd. you can hear at the background how insane the catcalls are and what kind of crazy peeps mj has surrounded himself with.

here, to the surprise of everyone is our very own master photographer, lemon estiva showing us what makes him a true killabotz. he sings james ingram's "just once" like it was his own and like i said, the flawless performances is probably because he has sung this song a hundred times since the time magic sing was invented. but yeah, lem was AWESOME here!

sorry i wasn't able to take a video of mj's performances ... there's other videos i could post but because i value my life, let's just say, we'll put those in cold storage ... for now!

if you love the videos, show JM and LEMON some love in the comments section!

> wanna do something great this year?

2009-03-31T07:55:00.000+08:00

SPONSOR A CHILD THROUGH WORLD VISION

It only takes P600 a month or P7,200 annually to make a difference in the life of one child (for Sponsors residing outside the Philippines US $20.00 per month).
Your regular contributions will be pooled together with other World Vision resources so the children, families and communities may enjoy the following benefits:

* access to education, good health and nutrition
* values formation child rights protection
* children’s participation in decision-making process
* skills and leadership training; and
* community development projects

By sponsoring poor children through World Vision's Child Sponsorship Program you will be able to give them a chance to have a bright future.

http://www.worldvision.org.ph/index.php

If you want to share your blessings by sponsoring a child, call 372-7777. Tell them my good friend JM Lago referred you. Your donations can be deducted from your credit card (gift points!!!) or you can pay through PDC or through bayadcentre outlets.

I am going to start sponsoring come May after i have sorted out my accounts. Tara, let's share our blessings. One good deed comes back a hundred fold.

> i'm feelin' you

2009-03-24T11:37:00.000+08:00

have you noticed how fortunate we are to come across people at the exact moment we need them in our lives? people really do come into our lives for a reason - and no matter how long or short they stay, they will always be treasured. i only hope that i have done my part in the lives of those people i have crossed paths with - and if i have made a difference in their lives, that is probably the best gift of all. i will never be anybody famous but to be remembered by the people whose lives i've touched in this short, short lifetime is good enough.

to the people in my life, i'm feelin' you! life is good because of YOU!

> "voltage" experience

2009-03-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

to say that VOLTAGE was fun is an understatement.

Voltage was a success.

despite the intensifying heat of the summer, quite a number of people trooped to MJC studio to participate in the latest project of the talented MJ Cachero. after Le Vampire, we were wondering what sort of shoot he was going to come out with next and seeing the print ads for Voltage made the wait all the more worth it. Voltage is unlike any project i've seen before. its imaginative, creative and quite literaly a breakthrough.

this project has been in our calendars from the time our good friend MJ released the posters. and despite us having no intentions of getting our pictures taken, we wanted to be there to support him. what made the event fun was hanging out with good friends and finally seeing "online" people you only chance upon in multiply in the flesh. it was a chance to mingle with very talented people - models, photographers, make-up artists, and hairstylits. people who hopefully i will get the chance to work with in the future as i pursue this fascinating world of photography. we brought food that actually complemented the stuffed bread eco was hawking throughout the day which i'd have to say were very delicious. eco, props to you for your entreprenerial spirit. you are definitely going to go places.

mj dabbled between being serious and not so serious. people skills definitely on overdrive. it was fun to see him in action basking in the success of yet another project. he smiles more now you know. hopefully because we're such a fun posse our infectious laughter is rubbing off on him. there were a lot of well-wishers and fellow photographers who went there to support the project - us included. it was nice to see them make time to drop by and check the shoot out.

in between, mj even managed to prepare six of his much talked about roasted chicken. over wine and pizza and the yummy chicken, we had a blast talking about everything and nothing. it was the perfect way to cap the night away.

NOTE : Photos used in the collage is courtesy of our talented friend, Ron Ibay.

the other side of me

2009-03-03T12:53:00.000+08:00

there are two things right now that i am quite passionate about - first obviously is photography and the other is cooking. and since i've sort of talked about photography to no end in previous blogs (and in the absence of nothing better to do right now), i'll talk little about my culinary explorations. now by no means am i an experienced cook nor would i go around talking about how great the last dish i cooked because far be from it, my cooking are mostly just trying out recipes i read about. and yes, my favorite magazine is "Yummy" and i have back issues of that while i don't have a single issue of any photography magazine in print.

i'm a big fan of quick meals, little preparation but still awesome results. i've even adapted some of the recipes - moroccan fish with mango salsa (my personal fave) and even tried to great results that gonzaga barbecue i saw in a magazine. lately, i've been hung up on pasta and i've tried a number of sauces that are quite good - bolognese (from a friend's recipe), meat sauce (mom's recipe), herbed tuna (friend's recipe) and seafood with basil cream (its good but there's cream hahaha).

today, i finally got all the ingredients to make pesto from scratch. it wasn't really hard to work it and i didn't even try to blend them by hand opting instead to use a decent electric chopper to actually good results. i threw in a handful of shrimps and scallops over whole wheet spaghettini and voila, instant dinner. i think it took less than 30 mins to do all that and there's a whole lot more of pesto left for a good number of meals the coming days. yay.

> Must Read : Rules of Relationships (According to Bob Ong)

2009-02-19T14:01:00.000+08:00

i got this from Homer Cudel's facebook notes. it was downright funny but at the same time speaks volumes about how true these statements are. hope he doesn't mind my re-posting here. credit also to bob ong.

love, fundamentally, has a way of screwing us over if we are not careful. those who are so fixated about getting into a relationship should read this. its not all roses when you're in one, it takes a lot of work.

1). 'Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..'

2). 'Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.'

3). 'Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.'

4). 'Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.'

5). 'Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.'

6). 'Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.'

7). 'Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.'

8). 'Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.'

9). 'Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.'

10). 'Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.'

11). 'Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.'

12). 'Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.'

13). 'Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.'

14). 'Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya.'

15). 'Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.'

16). 'Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala'

17). 'Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan'

18). 'Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!'

uncertainties

2009-02-19T04:12:00.000+08:00

there's 70 days left before april 30 and quite honestly, i haven't really given much thought to what i should do next. what i'm certain of is that i need to start working soon after except that right now, i'm enjoying the freedom i have to be able to focus on my photography, go out with friends and just lay down and relax. i know this feeling should be short-lived because i need to do the practical thing but having worked for more than 13 years straight makes me feel like i deserve a breather. there are some job prospects from a few headhunters out there but quite honestly, i haven't put much effort in submitting my resume and initiating my applications. golly, i think i've become a lazy s-o-b! i think what is putting me off having to do it is because i'm excited to bring to fruition some concept shoots me & my friends have been toying with - and it always make me giddy just thinking about it. yes, this photography and the friends that came with it has got me hooked.

i should put try to start thinking about business opportunities. in my limited reading, history teaches us that there are a lot of people who profited from a recession because they were smart and they hit it right business-wise. maybe i can be one of the lucky ones and i can think of something profitable - we'll have to see how this pans out. right now, all i can think about is beefing up my photoshop skills and doing more shoots. gaaahhh, i'm addicted. somebody really has to slap me hard on the face -- any volunteers?

the other thing i'd like to do is travel ... already i'm booked to coron and ilocos. and i'm so tempted to join this backpacking trip to indochina in july (thailand-cambodia-vietnam) ... that will be an adventure. just thinking about it is making me excited. so many things i can do with my free time - learn a new language, take up culinary ... man, the list goes on and on.

i hope i win the lottery. then i wouldn't have to work again.

> Register Now : VOLTAGE by MJ Cachero

2009-02-17T00:26:00.000+08:00

Its official. VOLTAGE is here!

If you want to get a well-themed, well-polished photo of yourself from the very talented MJ Cachero, then you should join this one-day photoshoot.

Visit MJ Cachero's site to check out his beautiful portfolio!

http://mjcachero.multiply.com/

all the more reason to see transformers 2

2009-02-13T09:45:00.000+08:00

is this cool of what? 'nuff said!

*caught this in one of the posts in multiply and decided to post this for people in my network.

2009 Do List

2009-02-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

i don't remember drafting some resolution list for 2009 but taking my cue from a good friend's list of things to do in 2009, here's my own.

list of places to go (back to) this 2009 (hope i get to see half) : sydney, ilocos (vigan, bangui, pagudpod), coron, cambodia (angkor wat baby!) ... where else? camsur (been dying to wakeboard), pinatubo crater
go to the gym. i really really need to get serious. period.
learn a new language. can i still fit this in 2009? mi habla espanyol!
enroll in a short culinary course. while this probably doesn't go well with going to the gym, by golly cooking is another thing i love. i'll cook for the fam & friends - help them get fat.
(OC alert!) Tag almost 100GB worth of mp3s. Rip a box ful of CD's to mp3. Transfer them to my ipod. Logic states then that i should replace my 30GB ipod with the 120GB version. yahoo, that's what you call justified purchase.
Read a plethora of e-books about photography i downloaded. Read a bunch of books gathering dust i've never found the time to read. Maybe try reading a few of the almost 30GB worth of x-men comics i downloaded.
I need to go back to my derma. Get a facial.
Get rid of these braces. Its been too long. More than i bargained for. I'm beginning to HATE it.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Enroll in a lighting class or make kulit my photog friends to teach me. Learn more photoshop. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Get back in touch with my Catholic teachings & practices.
Find a new job! Life will be so much better if i find a new job quickly!

Wow, so many things ... so little time talaga. its a BIG list ... one step at a time. I'll make it.

in preparation for april 30

2009-02-10T10:40:00.000+08:00

its a good thing that a dose of nyquil and dayquil managed to halt the flu that could've had me feeling sickly the whole week. i was specially fortunate since i had to go to the office in faraway cavite today. i was almost resigned not going today because maynilad hasn't restored our water supply when i chanced upon the 5-gallon mineral water jug we had and decided it was well worth it to use that as bath water (lol!).

the reality that i am counting down the days to my inevitable exit to this firm i have been part of for the last decade seems more real today. we've discussed most of the really important things as to pay, retirement, benefits and clearances. i am quite happy that the big blue is also going the extra mile of providing us with career transition services. there are a bunch of trainings that will be available (financial, entreprenerial, resume writing), other opportunities (for franchising, business ventures) and they even invited people from DOLE (department of labor & employment) and TESDA to tell us what their programs are. There are also livelihood trainings (basic cooking, juice puree, basic pc troubleshooting, call center, etc etc) that you can sign-up for. I should sign-up at TESDA for some massage training hahaha its free anyway.

i realized though that with leaving comes an abundance of other responsibilities - like continuing to pay for your SSS, Pag-Ibig and Phil-health. A bunch of legalities that i've had very little interest in to begin with. this is the part of being a grown-up that i don't like but i have to learn.

april 30 is really lapit na. i need to really jump start the job hunting soon. i'll be able to breathe easier if i get a replacement job soon.

> across the universe (feat eco dela sala)

2009-02-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

We decided to catch the last staging of "Across the Universe" at the Albertus Magnus Auditorium in UST to support our good friend Eco who topbills the play as Jude. We already knew Eco had a voice with some of his videos posted in multiply but it was unbelievable to see him sing live in front of a full-packed auditorium. This guy just has it down pat - and we bow our heads in shameless jealousy.

Congratulations Hector dela Sala. Like what Lemon said, impressive performance! (insert applause here!) Special thanks to Hannah and the rest of the staff because they gave us really good seats and all of them were very accommodating. Everyone was super nice!

The best part of it all was sharing the night with really great friends - the ever-popular heartbreakers "the killabotz" - lem, mj, brian, jm and marjo, gorgeous ladies - malou & ohsie, new friend jeremy and the very helpful & accommodating dino dimar. we sat through a couple of hours of beatles songs that helped me realize why the beatles is considered one of music's great bands. the songs were fantastic - across the universe, all my loving, i've just seen face, strawberry fields to name a few. there were indeed fun moments in the play when we were laughing really hard ("we want charice!") and irritable moments as some photographers shamelessly flashed-filled their pictures. if that flash-thing in men-in-black was real, i'll probably won't have any memories of last night anymore, or of my whole childhood for that matter.

We also saw eco's ever-sweet mom & groovy lola along with eco's other friends we've met during the "share a smile 2" charity project a couple of weeks back - jan, sammie & anjo. a whole of eco's friends obviously were there last night to support him.

Dinner at shakey's was even more fun. we were all pretty famished after the show and pigging out seemed like a logical thing to do. the conversations were funnier this time because most were pretty much at eased already with each other. poor bunsong marjo though looked starved post-braces attachment. JM & Brian were the guys to beat in chow territory (but it seemed like kuya lemon finished the carbonara) - you gotta love being young with a fired-up metabolism. di bale, tataba din kayo ... you'll see (ok, that's me sourgraping). still, hanging out with these guys is always a BLAST. can't help but love 'em cause they're so friend-worthy. Thanks Eco for the pasalubong.

Here's a couple of videos of Eco's performance - "All My Loving" and "I've Just Seen Face."

More photos courtesy of Lem Estiva at this link : Across the Universe (with eco dela sala)

Photos & Video Cover/Montage courtesy of the super talented Lem Estiva. Used with permission. The videos are a bit shaky since i was just using a P&S camera and i was trying to cover the LCD so as not to disturb the other people watching the show. No further editing done except for titles & credits.

he would have been 31 today

2009-02-02T02:41:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Abet!

You would have been 31 today if you haven't left us so early. I can't believe it'll be six years this year. You really changed a lot of us after what happened. I guess tragedy really brings people closer together and we are because of you. I'm really happy to say that after you left, i've learned to appreciate each day that i live and breathe. Its one of the reasons you will always be remembered, because in the short time i've known you i have learned a great deal about living.

If you were here, i bet we would be having a party - you know the kind that we used to have when everyone of the intel ka-berks were together. We probably would be anxiously waiting for the clock to strike 4pm today - have dinner and get tipsy with everyone not minding its a monday today. besides, we've all done that before - monday drinking sprees, all of us staring blankly at the walls of our cubicles the following day. who cares right? its your birthday and we're gonna partee!

its a nice celebration right? except you're not here anymore.

this world is getting small

2009-01-31T15:18:00.000+08:00

everybody seems to be interested in photography these days. the number of people at the photoworld exhibit in glorietta is proof of that. after another round of jiujitsu open mat shoot at an uber warm 3rd floor of a venue mall, photo buds ohsie, joseph and i went to glorietta to hang out.

i realized that there's really a lot of people with dslr's these days with gears & lenses to die for. the world of photography is getting smaller that i'm beginning to wonder if there's still places left to fill. its a good thing this thing is just a hobby, and that i'm still an engineer by heart. the "art" part of me remains subdued and that is why i question how far my interest in this art will take me. i'm still really enjoying it though, taking pictures and meeting so many friendly and talented people. I'm meeting photographers whose works i truly admire, whose talent & skill i aspire to develop in the future. the thing about photography that appeals to me mostly is that with it, i see the everything around as wonderful opportunities.

so even if i will be part of the multitude, i actually feel ok with it. my photos are my own. it is how i see the world around me. some may find it ordinary but the important thing is "they feel extraordinary to me."

> one fine day : share a smile

2009-01-25T14:37:00.000+08:00

we spent the whole day today at the C.H.I.L.D. Haus on a charity program organized by our friend eco. now this guy, instead of the usual birthday party opts to spend it on an outreach program. that is indeed very noble of him and he deserves props for it.

the thing about outreach programs is that it sure breaks your heart and this (CHILD Haus) being a home for kids with cancer was a sure tearjerker. when i saw the kids as we got there, i had to hold back tears seeing how difficult it is for these kids. i looked at all of the children, but i couldn't see deformity, or of cancer eating at them. i looked at them and all i saw were very beautiful children, exactly how God wanted them. These beautiful children are loved and despite everything, you can see genuine joy in their eyes. it was a treat to be able to make them happy, to see them smile as we went through the program. there were games and there were dances and there were songs. we had excellent hosts who were all so funny people were just rolling with laughter. i couldn't see any bored faces in the crowd the whole time we were there.

what's great about charity is that it brings together people who care, people who want to be part of something special. when i heard about this charity event, i really wanted to help out. its not everyday we get to do this - to try and make a difference. i texted and e-mailed everybody like crazy, followed up whenever possible it almost felt like i was stalking them. everybody wanted to help out and i'm going to take this space to thank everybody.

to my generous friends from & off intel, you all know who you are. thank you for the generous cash donations, for taking time to deposit them into my account. thank you to lea for the shirts, they were great prizes for the games. i'm glad i had super dami meal stubs, those helped me buy food from the cooperative.
to my generous friends from MBA, thank you for chipping in. i'm still amazed how supportive all of you are - isang text lang and you were all willing to help out.
to my college friends. thank you gummi for donating two boxes of C2. and to heidi for donating toys, books & clothes.
to good friends malou for buying all of those boxes of goodies from monde (ok, kahit sa SM mo na binili hahaha) and em for buying 50 spaghetti meals from mcdo.

through your generosity, we managed to raise 15,000 pesos. it might not be that big of an amount but that helps them buy rice for their everyday meals. THANK YOU for sharing your blessings!

i have to say after today, it felt very good to have shared this day with everybody. it was tiring. it was hot. and yet everyone shared the warm and fuzzy feeling of being part of something worthwhile. Thank you Eco for letting us be part of this wonderful, wonderful project of yours.

here's a video of the children from CHILD Haus giving everybody a treat.

reflections on the big blue

2009-01-24T03:02:00.000+08:00

after the big blue's announcement of closing down its facilities for good in the philippines, a number of friends sent me a note asking me if i was alright. for the record, yes i am alright. my decision to leave the company had nothing to do with that announcement. i was already contemplating on moving a year back and when they made the announcement about consolidating the operations last year, the practical & logical thing to do was wait. there was a good package waiting and it was something you just don't throw away. i do feel sad because there are still people there who've pinned their hopes on a new factory. life can sometimes have a way of screwing you up - rather it feels that way for a bit. when you look around though, you'd see that its just a way of letting you see that there's a whole world out there. there's life after the big blue. i know that with certainty. it may not be the kind of life we all have been accustomed to working for the last decade or so, but it is a new life nonetheless.

what i am most happy about is the outpouring of support. of friends asking me if i am ok and of people asking me for my resume. i'm happy because i know good - no, make that great people. i have been blessed more than i could ever be thankful for. so yeah, i know i'm going to be alright.

wed recap

2009-01-22T04:21:00.000+08:00

drive to the office in cavite --- i miss passing by daang hari and the bukids and seeing the cows. plus side, heard my old senti cd's when i used the ford ... sing-along by myself.
big company announcement. anti-climactic because everyone kind of had a feel what was going to be announced.
used a bunch of my meal stubs to treat a couple of friends. bought some food stuff at the cooperative for the charity thing this weekend.
rushed through my presentation materials for today's meeting
drove to serendra. no traffic - on a wednesday. i'm feeling lucky.
yum dinner at abe. great company. great conversation.
caffeine fix at starbuck's.
two awesome people sharing their workflow. unselfishly teaching us new things about post-processing. those are the true masters. i am humbled by your overwhelming talents.
slept at 2am. woke-up at 6am. zombie mode. another dinner tonight. i'm on a roll.

> april 30, 2009

2009-01-21T05:30:00.000+08:00

finally ... after waiting a long time ... its finally official. my last day working for the big blue will be on april 30. i was told i wasn't eligible for an early (feb) separation which is fine because april is just around the corner. the next three months will just pass by unnoticed. more than eleven years here seem like a lifetime - its time to move on. i've got an mba degree to beef up my resume so hopefully that helps me get another job soon. i have my reservations because risk makes you giddy like that but my minds made up. you just know when its time to go. the plus side - i get to spend time on photography.

april 30. 99 days to go.

and the countdown begins.

> ten things to be thankful for

2009-01-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

i think this is something worth spending time on --- keeps me optimistic and appreciative of the big and small things in life. a lot of people asks me why i'm mostly happy, the reason is simple --- there's just so much to be thankful for and a lot of people that helps me smile.

Giving me a restful sleep. Waking me up refreshed.
Making me go to my dentist to have my braces adjusted -- finally, after putting it off for the last couple of weeks.
Chats i had with friends today which made me roll with laughter, smirk and vent my frustrations.
People who left comments in my site. You all don't know how much i appreciate your words.
No issues at work today.
Friends who made donations or will be making donations to the charity event i'm supporting this coming weekend. God bless your generous hearts.
The hugs & kisses i got today from my sweet 5yo nephew. I love 'im more than life itself.
All the ideas/concepts for shoots, half-baked or otherwise, swimming in my head. Just thinking about the next shoot makes me excited.
Cool BTS photos from the Eye-Candy shoot by one photograher whose works i admire so much ~ Ash Castro. I got a picture with the master and other masters (lem, mj, etc) ... how great is that?
Finally, making a real good bolognese sauce tonight richly tossed in whole-wheat durum spaghetti. now that was a really good meal.

I bet all of you have your own list of things to be thankful for ...

> seeing what its all about

2009-01-18T02:54:00.000+08:00

we made plans to visit two project shoots yesterday - one by a personal fave (ash castro) and another by a group of extremely talented photographers. being there (just to observe & meet people) i have to say is surreal - so this is how its done, the real shoots, the one where people flock to and have their photos taken. there is so much to learn - not solely on developing the photography skills necessary to pull it off but also how to organize such a gathering. if printing out a coffee-table book still is the culmination of this photography thing - are these events meant to pave the path towards achieving that goal? maybe.

looking at what my eyes have seen, the people i met, the photos taken - i couldn't help but feel overwhelmed at the sheer talent these people have. "why the hell am i doing this photography thing?" --- these people are worth looking up to. they're just --- you know, great. i guess the really good thing about having friends is that they encourage you and give you points to ponder. big bro lem said these talented people have been doing this longer than we have - and sure they are extremely talented, but we all get better in time. you can't find anybody else as humble, as nice and as talented as our big brother lem. what's best still is that there are a host of other people who are as supportive - they're just great people i'm blessed to be keeping company with.

still, who knows where this road leads to, right? stay on the path while i'm still having fun.

> Tribute: Ronald Ibay's "The Journey Begins"

2009-01-16T03:31:00.000+08:00

one of the highlights of last night's gathering was a showcase of our good friend ronald's masterpiece of a coffee table book. you can sense the awe in everyone's eyes as they peered into pages and pages of exquisite photographs. it was truly a masterpiece and something each of us would love to have in the future. maybe that is the culmination of this whole photography thing - to have a collection of works you could be proud of. a collection of photos retelling a story of your own personal journey. for some of us it has been a worthy distraction and for others more of a lifeline.

everyone was sharing their "ohhs" and their "aahhhs" on ronald's coffee table book. it was doubly meaningful because it was something he was giving to his wife as a gift. what more can you say to that? all i can say is this --- kuya ronald, you inspire us! you gave us something to aspire for. and maybe its not going to be this year or the next, but i believe it will be forthcoming.

here is a page from kuya ronald's coffee table book. if this was being sold, i wouldn't mind grabbing a copy.

*Grabbed this from Ronald's page. Hope he doesn't mind.

> thursday night fun

2009-01-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

finally managed to schedule some hang-out time with a few photography friends beyond the usual EBs and photo shoots. surprisingly, there were a lot of people who went last night. dinner at kitchen was alright - the best part of which was that kuya ted sponsored it. thank you so much kuya ted, we are going to really miss you when you go back to london. highlights here :

the pandan iced tea from kitchen is caffeine-laden - kept me up the whole time!
kuya teddy is a generous soul. thank you kuya teddy! we'll really miss you dude!
met mj for the second time tonight. finally, di na dyahe i-add sya sa multiply!
great to hang out with model friends jm & brian outside of the studio. they're super fun guys. hopefully next time, kumpleto na the kilabotz.
kuya lem is really talkative. i bet he spent a lot of time in the time-out corner growing up. hahaha
ronald's coffee table book is unbelievable. super impressive! everybody was in awe! kuya ron, that was really something --- something for everyone to aspire for. thank you for sharing that wonderful piece of work.
paul is the baby in the group. and so much talent at such a young age, he leaves a lot of people in tears.
kuya lem, mj and joseph smokes. malou & ted are givens. i kinda miss being bad.

and we know na when the conversation is fun and the company is right, you forget the passing of time. no wonder we finished at around 2. i think if it was a friday, we could've stayed a bit later. had so much fun that i'm hoping this won't be the last hanging out.

gulp! so this is how the first time feels!

2009-01-15T03:52:00.000+08:00

ok, so its not the kind of first time you might be thinking ... perv!

lem sent us a note early this week asking a few of us who lives south if we would like to take photos of candidates for a school pageant. i did not really commit since it was a work day and i was set on malou & jayd covering the shoot. i decided to tag along since the hours were moved when work is over already.

i ended up having to shoot some pictures since malou (toink!) decided to just do the BTS. remind me to slap her next time i see her. it was the first time i had to do a shoot by myself but doing so, i learned a great deal of what things i still need to learn. doing a shoot by yourself - feels like your on stage about to make your performance. its scary and exhilirating at the same time. having had no experience posing the models, i was happy that malou helped out pose the models. posing the girls was easier - you just make them look pretty & a hint of seduction and you're done. the guys - totally a different case. one thing i realized shooting on location is before the shoot, you really need to get acclimated to your surroundings. we kept on shooting on one side before we roamed around and found a location where light was better and created unbelievable drop shadows.

i realized also that shooting 14 people is tiring. you can easily run out of creative juices half-way if you are not careful.

your year's worth

2009-01-12T11:06:00.000+08:00

one of the things i like and dislike doing workwise at the end of each year is writing my accomplishment report. but in a corporate world, writing a good summary can mean a hefty raise or can spell disaster career-wise. i like the fact that at the big blue, there seems to be a solid process for evaluating employees. its hard though when you're pitted against your peers, the only question burning in your head is whether you have done enough to upstage your colleagues. whether there is going to be budget for an increase this year remains a question, the one thing i'm not sure off is if writing a good accomplishment report now makes a difference. my date with destiny is on the 21st already - my boss is probably going to tell me what i want to hear - finally, phase 2.

i stare at the screen of my laptop right now mulling over how i should transcribe last year into something that has worth. that is always the challenge - working this long, you'd think i'd have that down pat already. but each year is a different story and hopefully i figure out the words soon ... specially since this was due last week. crap.

i love you PRE

2009-01-11T11:28:00.000+08:00

so while i've settled (for now) with the nokia e71, i've gotta say that there's really something to look forward to this year. and the anticipation and the waiting will most likely be worth it when palm releases the PRE this year to rival the iphone. now i could have gone with the rest of the flock and got myself an iphone being a mac lover & all except that it didn't meet my needs. my treo was by far and still is the best phone i've had. PRE seems very promising - seems to have all the functionalities i need including a QWERTY keypad neatly tucked in. i've never really taken a liking to a QWERTY touchscreen so having something to press is a big plus for me. wonder how much it would cost when it comes out? hopefully not an arm and a leg specially when i'm so trying to be really cost conscious. but we'll see ... i can already feel my new baby! LOL!

check it out here : PALM PRE

stardust

2009-01-08T11:56:00.000+08:00

ok, so watching stardust again for the nth time made me realize how lame next month is going to be ... but here's one particularly poignant litany in that scene that just gets you to say "aawww."

(edited)

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say is... I think I love you. Is this love? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

and uhmmm yeah, i need a date.

> last song syndrome for the day

2009-01-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

wala lang ... i just miss this song ... i just love this song ... and i'm still super groggy ... didn't sleep a bit the whole day despite the lack of sleep ... oh well, hopefully tonight is restful.

Tori Amos - Sleeps with Butterflies.mp3 -

on the other side, i'm glad one of my guilty pleasures "gossip girl" is back! as well as desperate housewives and brothers and sisters. and my all-time fave "battlestar galactica" will be back this month for the final 10 episodes (sob!). i can't wait to know the final cylon!!!

the cool thing i did is finding the adaptor i used to plug my bose headphones to my e71. la lang, was trying to check if the sound came out good and yeah, this headphones really rock. i have to use it more often for some ROI. hahaha but realy, it sounded really awesome.

> insanity - part ii

2009-01-06T03:07:00.000+08:00

so i did sleep past 3 and woke up to my fone blaring "viva la vida" by coldplay at the following hours ...

5:00 AM > Are you frakkin' kidding me?

5:30 AM > Testing lang kung magigising ...

6:00 AM > Uhmm, ok have to post the freakin' presentation in sharepoint ...

6:30 AM > Uy, get ready na para di naman bedroom voice ... lol!

6:45 AM > Ok ... just sit there ... look at your laptop screen and uhmmm wait until 7 ...

7:00 AM > Hi, this is jay santos (in a kinda slang para sosy) from cavite (kah-vih-tey) ...

Hahaha crap, i'm still in topak/aliw mode ...

not to lift my own chair but i kinda rocked the presentation (lol!). I talked fluidly and despite the ringing in my stupid wireless phone, i did hear most of the questions and i'd like to believe answered them quite convincingly. i'm kind of happy that it went pretty well - they're probably still hung up on the holidays so they're in a jolly & forgiving mood ... not! hahaha (topak/aliw mode).

the problem with being a day person is that once you're awake, its pretty hard to get some shut-eye back and so i still sit here motionless waiting for hopefully the sandman to get me. until then though, zombie mode!

*In the shoot last night, it kinda sucks that the models call you "sir" and use "po" and "opo" like you're some kinda ancient person. when did i get to be so freakin' old? dang, this is why i should stay away from the younglings, they slap you right on the face when they start being all respectful. for the love of ... disrespect me! (and i mean that in a good way!).

(topak/aliw mode).

> insanity

2009-01-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

i just got home fifteen minutes ago having been invited to a concept shoot with photography friends. i probably am insane having stayed until past midnight knowing i had a presentation to senior managers scheduled tomorrow morning at 7am. i always find it hard to collect my thoughts when i'm sleep deprived so i'll probably stutter a few during the presentation. the shoot was a whole lotta fun - models were very easy to get along with and its always nice to hang out with co-photographers. i think the best part here is the meeting of new people and a chance to have new friends.

two hours of shut-eye is better than none. so i'll take what i can get. alarm starts at 5am.

What's in store for 2009?

2009-01-04T13:42:00.000+08:00

ok, here's hoping what is written is something that will come to pass. it gives me hope. got this horoscope for the CRAB from yahoo. links on the title.

Year 2009 Career

This year, use your inventive mind and strong intuitive powers to help make some necessary changes in your career. It's time to create harmony with things that haven't quite reached your expectations, letting go of what you think are mistakes, and realizing that these are all stepping stones toward success. As you align yourself to your inner knowing and sharp business sense, your efforts will pay great rewards.

In the springtime, you will feel the urge to travel and connect with other cultures to help expand and enlighten your point of view, broadening your spiritual and intellectual values. Come summer, you may feel a bit introspective and choose to withdraw in order explore the subtle emotions and mystical depths of your being. Work in a mode of love and understanding of humanity, and in service to the life of the planet.

Prosperity is yours as you awaken to what is already inside of you. When you direct your emotions in a positive way, your fears will be released, allowing you to manifest what you want. The more you tap into universal knowledge, the more you are able to connect to your inherent power in a way you never dreamed possible. This is a time of great energy building, preparing you for the success coming in both your public and professional life. In your highest manifestation, your energy is invested in satisfying collective needs for the betterment of society.

Year 2009 Romantic

In order to attract a partner who is able to reflect your deeper self, make a conscious decision to build your relationships slowly carefully. This will help you cultivate a higher sense of enjoyment in your life. Let the lightness of music and dance help you get in touch with your playful nature -- which will make you even more attractive!

As you nurture your optimism, you're likely to attract a partner who is connected to that bright side of you. As the relationship moves to a higher vibration, it will be easy to be warm and affectionate with each other, creating a positive flow.

Come springtime, you may experience some confusion about committing to a close relationship. As you deal with the fears that come up, listen to your heart in order to make the best decision. If you can only see what's not working in your relationship, try and locate your stuck emotions, and then resolve them by seeing things from a different point of view.

Step into the magnificent abundance of who you are, and appreciate your own strong belief systems. As you awaken this part of yourself and allow the energies to flow freely, it will be much easier to form close emotional relationships and to feel loved for who you are.

Summertime will be wonderful for you, as you accept your true motives and discover a way to strengthen your connection to your dreams and your desires.

>last days before we hit the daily grind

2009-01-03T18:01:00.000+08:00

its depressing knowing that my more than two-weeks of holiday vacation is about to end - just actually a few hours before i have to log back in, check my emails and clean-up two presentations i've put on hold before taking off. two weeks really seemed to just breeze through what with all of the get togethers, family dramas and holiday celebrations. despite the hectic schedule, it was actually a great two busy weeks.

the other thing i'm sad to see go are the holiday decorations that adorned the streets, the establishments and practically everything. manila will be back to its "normal" self deprived of the joy the christmas holiday brings. and valentines is just uber depressing for single lads like me.

i think one of the things that's pretty much stuck in my head right now is the realization that april is just around the corner. leaving the big blue is becoming more and more real. sometimes i ask myself if i'm really making the right decision given the circumstances but most points out that it is. i guess my apprehension stems from the idea of not having a job after eleven years of stability. i should feel comforted though that i have some security blanket leaving the big blue, sufficient enough to float us through until i move to another job. i remain optimistic that everything works out.

i've put off writing a resolutions list - and i haven't done anything until today. i feel like i've met 2009 without any preparation - with a "come what may" attitude. that isn't really like me. its comforting a bit to not be pressured into anything but i know i have to list down at least things i'd want to accomplish for the year. on top of that of course is to shed off a whole lotta pounds gained from downing out everything in sight this holiday season. exercise, diet and the whole enchilada (damn, even writing that reminded me of food) to get back into shape. seriously, its time to burn, baby burn.

last hurrah for christmas. i bought a crumpler camera strap yesterday at high street. it wasn't cheap but it just looked really cool i had to get it.

if i want to further my skills with this whole photography thing, i should start reading some of the e-books i've downloaded in my spare time. add to that is really to exercise my creative head - so i should explore more on concept and location shoots this year. i don't want to be left behind (lol!). i need to learn, learn more.

i really want to travel more in 2009. been aching to visit batanes and vigan for quite some time already so i might just do that. i'm also planning on going to sydney this year since some of my mileage are expiring so i might just as well use it. really lots of places i want to be in right now - i'm really hoping i get to do all that.

let's see what will happen in 2009. its going to be another journey - one that's hopefully more rewarding than the previous years.

is 60 the magic number?

2008-12-29T14:49:00.000+08:00

i went to my tita's wake last night and realized that she passed away at the age of 60. its the same age by which tita rory passed away at a few months back. that kinda stuck to my head - rationalizing that if 60 was the life expectancy these days then i am already past mid-life. i'm quite happy that i'm alive and everyday i am thankful that God has given me another day here. the thought of mortality doesn't really worry me now more than before probably because i've kinda dealt with the passing of people who were much much younger than me. going through that has made me realize that i am lucky i'm still here - thirty four years and counting. for some reason, writing that in numbers make me cringe and i'm hoping that putting it into words make it less obvious that i am quite aged. lol.

being in the wake somewhere in mandaluyong city made me reminisce of my childhood. almost all of my cousins lived there except for some who lives in muntinlupa and us who lives in paranaque. i couldn't believe how grown-up my nephews and nieces are already that i had to sigh when they came around to bless and say hi. WTF? i'm so not that old - or so i thought! i realized that as the world turns, my nieces and nephews are now either in their late teens or even entering adulthood. one nephew (who married early) is now even expecting his fourth child. the next generation has indeed taken over our role as the kids in the clan from way back. its not really that our time has passed that's depressing but more of the generation prior to us (the 'rents, the aunts and the uncles) are all sort of getting much, much older. and that they are going to be with us a few more years seem more and more definite and real. its one of the main reasons why working outside of the country is my least priority - i'd want to spend as much time with my loved ones because they are the people who mean a lot to me.

so while i struggle with the idea of turning another year older this 2009, i smile at the realization that i am living a fruitful and happy existence. that i have learned my lessons well and i've made a difference in the lives of some people i know.

life goes on. i'm here and i am still living for the here & now.

a sad farewell

2008-12-25T15:59:00.000+08:00

my tita lita passed away today. she has been quite sick this year but last time we saw her, she seemed to be in better shape after she got out of the hospital. my cousins just said she was having trouble breathing and rushed her to the hospital. they texted a while back that she has moved on. i'm not really sure what was wrong with my tita but it had something to do with her liver (and no, she is not a drinker). while we were not particularly close with her, i do have some memories growing up because we used to hang around the mandaluyong area way back. their life has been a constant struggle to make ends meet and there were surely good times and bad times equally. despite everything, she seemed happy and content with her life and my tita was a kind woman. she went to visit and look after my sister when she was at the hospital as well. its sad that she has to go already but i know that she is going to be happy in the next life.

its raining now. maybe the heavens are sharing their grief for the loss of my tita.

its going to be CHRISTmas again

2008-12-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

in a few more hours, its going to be CHRISTmas all over again. why is at the start of every year, we all just want the months to breeze through so that its december again. and when it does breeze through, we wonder where did the time go? sometimes i don't know if hoping for the days to pass by so that it will be weekend again is a good thing. life passes by - this year is no exception. i'm happy though that i am still here --- and so is everyone in my family. God has been very good and extremely generous to our family and despite everything that has happened in the last couple of years, we are still very thankful.

tonight, we are going to celebrate the birth of Christ and we all should remember that Christmas is more than just giving gifts. It is a time to be thankful for the year we had and for all the blessings we have received. Happy birthday Jesus!

To everyone, Merry Christmas!

a dsl miracle

2008-12-20T09:20:00.000+08:00

persistence kind of pays off - and of course, a whole lotta patience. i called my pldt dsl contact last week to tell him i've been having the same problem again of intermittent dsl connections (which was really screwing up my having to work from home set-up). last time they replaced the modem and all the connections and checked whatever pldt boxes on the lamp posts but that didn't really solve anything.

i think he finally re-routed or transferred our line to some other new line and after a few more adjustments, it "seems" like the problem of intermittent connection is now a thing of the past. i'm crossing my fingers that that is really the case. but so far, speedtesting my connection, here is the result (and its been pretty consistent) so you might say, i'm quite happy. truly, a dsl miracle. 3MBPS ... gotta love that!

what language is this?

2008-12-20T06:23:00.000+08:00

after receiving a call from an unknown number who like most uneducated people just rudely drops down the phone without uttering a single syllable, i receive this text a few minutes after. written as is.

... sori poe ...

-->rngclL akoh...

_->enxia s istorbo...

i had to read it a couple more times to understand what some of the words were and realized that OMG, they're all around us.

it took a lot of willpower not to reply with something like ...

what planet are you from and what language is this?

i have to say, this is like haunting me! hahaha

how not to write

2008-12-18T07:47:00.000+08:00

one of my pet peeves is text writing and all the pa-cute way some people change how words are spelled (aq, q, ngaun, cno, etc). i don't really care if anybody calls me a snob but writing this way is heinous and they should get locked up in writing school - like maybe for eternity.

don't you wish the telcos bring back free texting so that people don't have to write this way. instead of ngaun, why not just write "now" and for cno, why not "who"?

uhmmm if anybody who reads this write this way, i beg you to stop.

yesterday's deeds

2008-12-18T03:47:00.000+08:00

nonsense stuff i did yesterday ... well sort of nonsense ... wala ma-post e ...

got 5 1/2 months worth of meal stubs ... so i bought 1 box of 500ml C2 Green and 1 box of 500ml of C2 Apple and 1 case of Pepsi Max (24 cans) from the cafeteria yesterday. I know they sell it way expensive but what will i do with so many meal stubs?
additionally, got around 8 small cans of pik-nik (love the salt!) + a bunch of snacks + a bunch of instant noodles again from the cafeteria. i sure hope these are not going to be our noche buena and new year feast.
thought the gas in cavite was pretty cheap already (P34.5 per li for unleaded) and then joey told me that it was P30.5 at Jetti. so i got gas at the Jetti station i passed by and was happy that 1K pushed my meter from 1/4 to full. yeba!
passed by a CD-R king store at filinvest last night and since i was passing time (dang coding!), i decided to fall in line for 30mins which was unusual for me because i dislike waiting. Got 50 pieces of DVD+R and another 50 pieces of CD-R. staple items.

and so still i haven't done any christmas shopping - i'm really really bad at it. again, the only person i'm great at shopping for is myself. i'm such a shellfish person ... hehehe! and since this is a season of giving, i'm going to brave the torrent of people at the mall and find gifts. so far, i'm not really sure when i can do that ... lol!

phase 1 farewell

2008-12-17T15:16:00.000+08:00

i went to the cavite office today thinking it was just another one of those days and wondered as i was alighting at the parking lot why the night shift (7pm-7am) crew were hovering taking photos at the lobby and everywhere else. i realized after buying something for breakfast looking at the LCD announcement screen that today was the last day of office (LDO) of Team 1 as part of the Phase 1 reduction. i could feel an outpouring of emotions - some happily braving the future, others obviously sad to leave the company. it dawned on me when i reached my cubicle that it also meant the last day i will be seeing friends & colleagues who i have worked with for the past eleven years and are part of phase 1. last day i'll be seeing arlene at the office. last time i'll be seeing ms zeny (who worked for intel for i dunno, 35+ years?). i didn't even know some other colleagues were also leaving. i was kind of sad that a lot of people were leaving. that meant there'll be a lot more empty cubicles when we go back in january.

phase 2, which i've signified my intention of being part of, will probably have a LDO of April. nothing really specific yet but i should start planning for it. i hope i can take the next couple of weeks to get things straight in my head. in between the merry making and the shopping and the endless get togethers, i have to make sure to sort of put some time to it. hopefully, 2009 is going to be a great year.

review : breaking dawn

2008-12-16T15:33:00.000+08:00

i'd have to say i wasn't disappointed by the final chapter of the twilight saga - in a way, it was a fitting conclusion and most of what i have been hoping for had closure. i was thinking though that there were some parts of the book that felt like it was being stretched out particularly at the beginning. i was happy to see that bella was no longer the wimpy, hapless girl she always seemed to be the first 3 books. i'm happy that the edward-bella-jacob story was laid to rest. c'mon, was there anyone seriously rooting for bella & jacob to end up together. it was bella-edward all the way. that was the whole point of book 1 (twilight) wasn't it? to condition us to the whole "meant to be together" forever for bella & edward crap. i would have settled for a climactic battle scene but the confrontation towards the end sort of left a little more to be desired for. i almost feel bad that i don't have anything more to read tomorrow since i've been reading the books one after the other for the past four days. i think the "sweet valley high" feel of the book stopped at the third book and the fourth book was darker and more serious than the rest. it would be thrilling to see it the big screen but i bet we'll have to wait six or more years to find out.

review : eclipse

2008-12-15T13:56:00.000+08:00

finally finished "eclipse, book 3 of the twilight saga and i liked it so much better than "new moon" which deathly boring. eclipse has a better storyline and puts to a close somewhat the plot that the author was building up from the second book. i guess the importance of book 2 was building up the jacob storyline and creating the arena for a love triangle. i have to admit that the turn of events had me less liking bella - she's turned into a wimpy, hapless girl which i guess she really is but come on, she's always the freakin' damsel in distress. i wish jane could've used that pain illusion on her - take that beyotch! lol! i have to admit i enjoyed the action towards the end of the book - i think that will be joy to watch in the big screen when its made into film. i do hope they pick out some good looking guy to play jacob so he'd be a better match to edward. so book 1 was intriguing, book 2 was a sleeper and book 3 was pleasantly surprising. hopefully, book 4 is a worthy conclusion to an enigmatic tale.

freakin dent

2008-12-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

sure i've had my days as a really bad, bad driver but most of the time, i've been a model citizen following all the traffic rules so it pisses me off to see that my car has a freakin dent when i parked it properly in mostly pay parking areas. i know its bad to wish someone ill fortune but i do hope that someone who put a dent in my CRV gets what he/she deserves. the dent isn't humongous, well it sort of jumped from door to the back but its pretty noticeable. while i'm not car-obsessed, the OC in me gets "praning" everyime i'm reminded of it. the last time i had a dent repaired (ok, that was bigger and deeper), had to shell out 3K for it despite the insurance and that was 3 carless days and i had to commute from the repair shop.

so yeah, it sucks and it sure pisses me off. dang that stupid driver.

new hardware this friday ...

2008-12-10T05:37:00.000+08:00

ok, just happy that finally i am going to get my new desktop this friday ... specs are pretty cool, and definitely meets my requirements.

Intel Core 2 Quad 2.4Ghz

Intel(R) Desktop Board DG31PR Motherboard

Intel(R) G31 Express Chipset

3.0GB DDR2 Memory

Multi-Card Reader

512MB GeForce 8500GT Video Graphics Card

Intel(R) Graphics Media Accelerator 3100 onboard graphics

6-channel (5.1) audio subsystem using the Realtek* ALC888 audio codec

Gigabit (10/100/1000 Mbits/sec) LAN subsystem using the Realtek* RTL8111-GR Gigabit Ethernet Controller

320GB Serial-SATA/150 Hard Drive 7200rpm

DVD-ROM Drive

LG 20x DVD Dual Layer Drive

Firewire Card

Microsoft VISTA

I can't wait for friday! Technology really makes me giddy!

i want these chucks

2008-12-10T03:59:00.000+08:00

waaah, i want these clear chuck taylors! they're so cute!

a glimpse of the coming future

2008-12-08T15:50:00.000+08:00

en route to tagaytay with arlene, i realized that after eleven years of being with the big blue and working together, we are going to part ways - maybe for good this time. eleven years is a long time - enough to build a friendship that hopefully will last our lifetime. next week is the week before the two-week factory shutdown so it means that those who have been identified as part of phase 1 are all going to pack up their stuff already and bid the office goodbye. i wonder how i would feel when my turn comes and my last day of office draws nearer and nearer. despite the occasional jitters and overthinking, i am actually at peace with my decision to retire from the company. i know the risks involved but i know that right now, i need to find something new and exciting.

so maybe i'll have to face my destiny as early as february, or maybe april, or maybe june. i don't really have any definite answer right now and i am still patiently waiting. i remain hopeful that things will work itself out. it always does - with faith.

Reflections on the PSN Photo Exhibit

2008-12-05T02:58:00.000+08:00

(this poster courtesy of malou marquez)

Yes, we did it! All the hard work paid off and i'm proud to say we managed to pull it off. For the record, i never doubted we would not be able to do it despite all the hurdles we encountered. The problems, the frustrations and the stress were all part of the journey when we signed up for it so i had my head in the right place. And while i pulled out the photo i submitted prior to printing, i do not mind not having an entry in the photo exhibit. I already learned a lot helping manage the details of the exhibit.

What everyone should be proud of is the fact that this wasn't just a so-so exhibit - we partnered with an international organization (check out Up With People) and with the well-recognized Rotary Club and i think we did well enough to be proud of our accomplishment. PSN wasn't just text in the thank you's - we had our logo as PARTNERS and we were always mentioned in all of the mini-concerts they did around Manila. Yes, WE - a relatively unknown organization managed to score such a well-recognized event.

I was chatting with the RCGM President last night and fighting off exhaustion to be socially active, i had the feeling he was satisfied with the outcome our our exhibit. He mentioned that they (RCGM) are going to bring in UWP next year and said we should start to talk about it. This one's not over yet and seems he trusts us already to help partner with the next. Yay for good impressions!

Despite the highs, what project isn't complete without the lows? Definitely there were a lot of frustrations trying to work out this project. Words are said and people get hurt. Personally, i don't burden myself with grudges nor hate because there's enough of that going around the world. People who feel they have not done their roles should just apologize and do better the next time. That should be the end of it. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from this event and it is a chance to reflect on who we are as a group and as individuals. I hope everyone understands why words, strong as they are, had to be said. We all just need to admit to our mistakes if we made one.

I remember while i was in Singapore following up and reminding people to start shooting pictures during the UWP arrival and i managed to catch AJ on YM. He was checking to see what is happening and during our conversation, i sort of ranted about some of my frustrations. He realized sort of that he had responsibilities to the project as well and i told him "If you want to make it up, go shoot and cover some of the UWP events!" What do you know? AJ's photos actually turned out to be one of the great pictures in the set.

There will be more opportunties for us (PSN) in the horizon and it will surely rests upon our shoulders whether we make something of it or squander it.

But just the same, congratulations to us! We did it! And even if things did not go along as planned, we learned a great deal during this photo exhibit. The next one is going to be spectacular!

how time flies

2008-11-18T17:13:00.000+08:00

i can't believe how quickly time flies by these days - months just seem like weeks now and weeks like days. i can't believe that my trips to malaysia and singapore are both winding down. i'm actually at the end of it and while it has been a whole lotta fun, it has been tiring nonetheless. apart from seeing the sights in kuala lumpur and again here in singapore, it mostly has been a culinary adventure. i ate a lot and its something i am seriously going to regret when i get back home. funny thing though is that christmas is just around the corner and its another great reason to pig out, it feels unavoidable even. looking forward already to numerous get togethers and dinners and christmas parties the next month.

what i look forward to is our trip to hong kong this coming thursday. its going to be his first trip outside of the philippines and i'm excited that we get the chance to bring him on these trips. i think he is going to enjoy singapore too with sentosa and the safari parks. so it kind of gives me a great idea that we should make it a point to go out on a family trip on an annual basis.

it seems lately has been somewhat of a blur - everything is moving faster than i am used to and its either the world has picked up its pace or i am really slowing down. what people don't realize is that its a quandary - life is passing us by maybe faster than how we like it to and it also means that soon, there will have to be decisions made. i probably am going to be stepping again soon into unfamiliar territory and that scares me a bit. maybe five months, maybe earlier. what i pray for is that all things turn out for the best.

but today is today and there's no use worrying too much about tomorrow. i choose to live for the here and now.

the cookie museum

2008-11-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

"the cookie museum"

the v pte ltd - espalanade mall

8 raffles avenue #01-02/04

singapore 039802

we dropped by purposedly by the "the cookie museum" at the espalanade on our way to see the merlion yesterday to purchase some cookies for cindy's in law in manila. all the while i thought it was a special cookie exhibit and was pleasantly surprised to find that "the cookie museum" is actually a quiant tea house in a victorian setting. the sales clerk was very friendly and dutifully gave us samples of cookies that caught our fancy. the cookies were heavenly and they came with a steep price tag, SGD30 for a tin of 24 cookies. it wasn't difficult to make the decision to purchase a tin of madeleine rose cookies which had a subtle hint of rose petals as you bite into the cookie. to complement it, i threw in a tin of cranberry sunset refreshing courtyard tea into the mix. paying around 2,000 pesos for cookies and tea seems like a luxury but not finding this place anywhere else except here made it seem like a worthy treat. cindy got the cuban mint cookies which tasted unbelievably like lindt mint chocolate except in cookie form. it was refreshing.

we should have stopped there but curiousity got the better of us and blame it on the bloggers who heralded how awesome the tea cake was that cindy and i decided to sit down for some tea time. here's what we ordered :

Pomegranate Ruby Tea (SGD15, pictured) - sweet iranian fruit blend with premium chinese white tea;
Peony Garden Tea (SGD15) - delicate pretty peony flowers emanating its all natural aroma;
Baileys Irish Cream Liquer Tea cake (SGD19, pictured);
Berry Meadows (SGD15, pictured);

what can i say? the tea was refreshing, the flavors light and well-blended i sipped all 4 tea-cups of it. the peony garden tea smelled and tasted wonderful. berry meadows is more like a sponge cake topped with whipped cream and berrys - it was a great fruity treat. i'd have to say that the bailey's irish cream liquer tea cake is tops in my book. steeped in 1/4 of creamy coffee-like syrup and splashed with a spoonful of baileys liquer, the cake was just a perfect partner to tea. the bill was expectedly expensive but great tea and great cakes, that made it alright.

this is the best thing about traveling - discovering relatively unknown places that spreads mainly through word of mouth. i can't wait to get these rose cookies to mom.

pro's : victorian setting, wide selection of tea, hosts of unforgettable cookies & cakes, very friendly crew

con's: very pricey

finally, a taste of KL

2008-11-16T12:20:00.000+08:00

after so many visits to malaysia, i finally managed to get out of penang and even kulim to see kuala lumpur. i stayed with juli and king the two days i scheduled to look around kl. i'd have to say i am not disappointed, kl is a great city. here are some things i take with me leaving this beautiful part of malaysia.

hungry for some roti boy. i seriously am not a bread person but this one is just downright delicious. freshly baked bread crisp on the outside with a hint of coffee + some melted butter inside. i definitely could have this on a daily basis.
petronas towers. one word - magnificent. this is quite an engineering marvel, from the design to its finished construction. i feel bad manila doesn't have anything that comes close to the twin towers. the view from the sky bridge is unbelievable - breathtaking even. its too bad the maxis tower was built so close to it. that building kind of ruins an otherwise great view of petronas.
putrajaya. there's quite no other place like it. when i saw this city, i couldn't help but marvel about how beautiful it is. you'd feel like you've been transported into some beautiful and perfect city. i couldn't even believe the lake was man-made. the buildings, the houses, the government offices - words to describe how beautiful they are escape me. and the mosque right beside the lake - its just awesome. the lamp posts in this city are even different from area to area plus there are numerous bridges that are by themselves architecturally beautiful.
food, delicioso. so while i still painfully shy away from the really hot stuff, i'd have to say i enjoyed feasting on traditional malay, indian and chinese food while i am in malaysia. you just gotta love the unique taste of the food. i even got a taste of authentic vietnamese noodles courtesy of juli & king's neighbor. yum! there's no stopping now.
transportation. while riding a cab is pretty expensive in penang, the transportation in kl is pretty efficient - reminiscent of the MRT in singapore though not as clean though. buses are pretty efficient and comfortable. the best though is the KLIA express which is 28-min train ride to the airport. KLIA by the way is very beautiful that i cringe everytime i remember what NAIA looks like.
Juli & King - perfect hosts. my trip to KL would have been half as fun if not for Juli & King being such gracious hosts. thanks for making my stay a fun and memorable one.

this trip to malaysia has truly been a memorable one. it is a photographer's haven and there's just so many things and places to shoot i don't think i've done it justice. i did shoot a few pictures and i can't wait to post them soon. there's a whole bunch of them that needs sorting and yeah, i don't really know when i'd be able to go over them. crossing my fingers that its soon.

for now, my next journey is here in singapore. some places i just need to visit while i'm here. definitely a fun week ahead.

trip so far ...

2008-11-14T03:21:00.000+08:00

it feels like this whole week has just been pulled fast that i can't believe the week is winding down and the whole face to face we've waited for a couple of months is done. i bet it will be a while before we get a chance for another gathering like this with the cost reduction and all. still, being here probably for the last time at the expense of the company, was a welcome blessing. i think it was more than three years already since i was last here - most of the recent trips were in the US which i am so not complaining about. Penang hasn't changed - its still as rich and vibrant as last i've seen it and the food is just tasty it felt like a crime not to indulge. this week though has been quite exhausting that i didn't even try to walk around taking pictures - my heart's just not into it. maybe i'm not cut out to be a travel photographer - i just don't have the patience for it right now. there's still some meetings i set-up, more to indulge my manager, an hour's cab ride from Penang to the factories in Kulim. two of my colleagues bailed out on me so i am going to go there by myself - trusty ipod with my pop songs blaring during the ride.

the good news is that i'm already packed and ready for my trip to KL tonight. vacation is officially starting in a few hours and i'm all giddy and excited. its going to be a fun, fun week ahead.

*ps: if you are wondering why i managed to write this at office hours, its because i'm still waiting for my cab. lol!

alone time

2008-11-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

being in a hotel room can be disappointingly lonely if you're on a business trip. the best thing about it though (aside from the company paying for it) is that it gives me some real "alone" time. while the silence is deafening (i just hear the faint buzzing of the centralized aircon), its kind of a welcome reprieve from the sounds of home. one week of being in a hotel is more than bearable because for one, i feel like a king for one - don't have to make my bed, cook my food (which is a conundrum if you're dieting), drive myself to anywhere. i'm even staying at this new hotel which is right beside the mall - now that is way convenient ... access to everything. its like a dream come true.

what i like about these trips is that being by myself gives me time to ponder on things and think about what i should do moving forward. a lot of things are happening right now and there are decisions that need to be taken with careful consideration.

at least for this week, i can pretend to be someone else. a traveler to a foreign land. where only a few people know me and i can be whoever i choose to be.

almost two weeks now

2008-11-04T13:49:00.000+08:00

being sick sure is no fun. been under the weather battling the flu for close to two weeks now and while i've gotten a bit better enough to go to some committed affairs, i haven't fully recovered. i finally decided, through the urging of a friend, to go see a doctor today. she told me its likely i just have the common flu but ordered me a CBC. results come out tomorrow but the doctor is flying off to switzerland the same day and won't be back until the 11th. i'll probably just leave her secretary my mobile number since i am going to be traveling myself. for now, i'd have to continue taking my meds and hopefully be well enough by saturday to attend a wedding, a street photoshoot and fly out sunday morning. if i don't get well, i can't imagine what the next two weeks will be like.

the thing that's funny is that i rarely really get sick but when i catch the flu, i pretty much get it bad. i realized now i should probably should have made the time to get my flu shot at the office but i missed it. hopefully, my medical card covers it since the doctor said i should get one when i feel better. i'm no stranger to the hospital, having been there many times that needles don't really mean much to me anymore. but you know, hospital just screams depression, loneliness and even death.

i wonder why when we're young, we refuse to take care of ourselves properly. we take our health for granted and do things we regret as we grow older. i think its part of growing up, of our insatiable hunger to experience new things. peer pressure sometimes. i used to smoke socially before, not so much though, just enough for stress relief or when we were out having drinks. it was easy to kick it off and i've been smoke-free for more than three years. hurrah for that. i don't drink that much either - only when i know i'm not driving and its mighty fine to get drunk and pass out. the last time i got seriously drunk was during an out of town trip to zambales and i was doing double twist jumps on the bonfire figuring i was an ice skater. hopefully, there's no video of that somewhere.

seriously, i need to get well. too much stuff i need to do and finding the energy to do what i have to do is exhausting. i am seriously going to get that flu shot and pump myself with my vitamins. and yeah, the flu sucks.

life after

2008-10-30T02:32:00.000+08:00

exactly how many years ago since our good friend abet joined our creator escapes me - was it five years already? has it really been that long? i remember how devastated everyone felt when he passed away so suddenly. 25 years young and he was gone. i cannot imagine how my good friend arlene felt during that time - no words could describe it but it wasn't hard to feel how painful losing a love one, much less your supposed to be better half. its just tragic.

fast forward to today and two weekends from now, i am going to attend arlene's wedding. its truly a miracle that she finds love a second time around. granted juan and i are always engaged in a verbal tussle and he could be really irritating sometimes, i am glad that he made her smile again. arlene and i have been with the big blue for the past eleven years and we've become quite good friends. i guess experience and maturity has its way of bringing people closer together. add the fact that we both share sort of the same familial problems - and its always nice to talk to someone who can really understand what you are going through.

while driving last night, i came to the realization upon reading arlene's text message that there's life indeed after a tragedy. what seemed insurmountable five years ago is now just a fading memory. abet is long gone but his passing has taught me a great deal about what life is. life is too short for regrets and disappointments - clearly there is no joy in that. i don't try to live through other people's standards and nor do i care if some people don't like me for who i am. i am me and they just have to take me as i am.

here's to you abet. gone but not forgotten.

here's to you arlene. i'm glad you are getting your happily ever after.

sick and working

2008-10-29T06:23:00.000+08:00

i feel much worse now than when i woke up this morning. i would have preferred to stay home today except that i had to travel to our faraway cavite office to meet up with one of our department manager from the US. the only consolation is a free lunch at sonya's garden and i could probably swing by amira's from some delicious mango and blueberry tarts if i still have the energy to drive. the cold here in the office is really killing me and when you're nursing a flu, that is really a bad thing. the other bad thing is that i can't go home until 7pm since my car is banned today. in short, i'm doomed. i can already see myself being on sick leave tomorrow. dang! i need to get better for the shoot on friday.

today's sunday.

2008-10-26T16:10:00.000+08:00

slept past MN.
woke up at 6am.
chat. chat. chat.
30ml of dayquil.
champ for lunch.
studio shoot in the afternoon.
2 slices of yellow cab. gawd, i want my charlie chan chicken pasta.
dead tired now.
feel worse than when i woke up.
more sick now.
30ml of nyquil.
20 more minutes to la la land.

i freakin' need to get well.

sicky sicky

2008-10-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

after seeing tropic thunder (hilarious movie) last night, i felt the familiar signs of the flu driving home. i always know when i'm going to get sick - i guess you get familiar with the symptoms already. so i dutifuly took my nyquil last night and within 15-20 mins, i was pretty much knocked out. i woke up still feeling kind of dizzy and yeah, still sicky. i probably should eat something and hopefully pick up enough steam to start working on the avp for tonight's psn launch. but damn, i can barely keep my head up. la la land is just so inviting.

I'm booked!

2008-10-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

Yay, after a week of trying to come up with the best travel schedule i finally managed to confirm and book all my flights today. I'm kind of happy that its in Malaysia because its been a while since my last trip there. I'll finally be able to visit KL (can't believe the plane fare is that cheap) and go back to Singapore to see the merlion (hahaha) and sentosa which i wasn't able to do last time. And yes, our itinerary and booking for HK are good too! its going to be a really fun two weeks! and there's only two more weeks of waiting left.

PLS READ : PSN BOARD +++

2008-10-19T14:39:00.000+08:00

19 Oct 2008

Starbuck's, Bonifacio High Street

Present : Jay, Jenner, Malou, Ohsie & Mark

Assignment Checklist

(Jay) Send malou the savings account where people can deposit the membership fee, launch fee and all money matters;
(Malou) Ask Rick to request permission to use HP's logo
(Em) Send sponsorship letter for review and validate sponsorship packages
(Greg) Ask how much to rent a projector or check who can we borrow from?
(Malou) Find hosts for the PSN launch party - 1 male, 1 female
(Malou) Find out who can we assign to take BTS for the launch
(Rick or Ohsie) Can you bring your laptops for the Audio-Visual Presentation?
(Jenner) Build map on how to go to the venue for the PSN Launch party
(Rick) Follow-up with HP on raffle as soon as the sponsorship letter is approved
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ohsie) Ask Erwin Mallari for ideas on what to shoot for the Xmas cards
(Jenner) Get quotes on printing of the Xmas Cards
(Em) Find out list of upcoming RCGM activities. Check past charity they did which we can do a back shoot.
(Jenner) Get quotes for the printing & framing of the photographs
(Jenner) Get quotes for the panels for the photo exhibit
(Sonny) Finalize the layout/design for the exhibit
(Jay/Em) Finalize with UWP schedule of charity activities & concert dates, venues including agreement with venues to provide spare/location for the exhibit
(Em) Confirm with RCGM on sponsoring the cost of the exhibit & merchandise (xmas cards)
(Jenner) Finish PSN calling card design.
(Jay) Check with Board on agreement for the Proposed Photographers Bond.
(Ohsie) Send jay the rules & regulations for the Canon Photo Marathon.
(Jay) Work on the mechanics of the photo selection for the exhibit.

PSN Launch Party

Publicity. We agreed that Malou should create a simple flyer for the PSN launch party on Oct 25. Malou will work on this tonight so that everyone can post this in their multiply account by tomorrow (Monday). We need MORE people to commit to attend the launch next saturday.
Non-Paying Guests. We agreed to invite a few of our partners in photography. They will not be paying the Php 300 for the grand launch. Non-paying guests include - Sir Bong Morris, UWP (Luis, Johann) & 2 guests from HP (when they confirm sponsorship).
Program. As part of the program, we will have the following AVP presentations. (a) PSN History (Ohsie/Jenner/Mark); (b) Up With People (Luis Petzhold); and (c) Photo Exhibit Mechanics/Details/Etc (Jay/Em). We will also have Sir Benjie's speech as President of PSN.
Registration for Membership/Launch. Malou will prepare the required materials for the registration of people who want to be members of PSN. She (with Mark) will also take care of getting the payment for the Launch party.

Photo Exhibit with Rotary Club Green Meadows (RCGM) & Up With People (UWP)

Merchandise. We decided that due to timing constraints, we will no longer pursue the original merchandise except for the CHRISTMAS CARDS. This is still tentative depending on whether we can pull this off. 5 XMAS CARD variants. Instead of photos from RCGM/UWP, we will shoot either a set-up (studio) or not set-up (street) christmas theme for the cards. Only five photos will be selected for the xmas cards. Need to do the shoot for the Xmas cards immediately after the PSN launch party. Jenner will check the cost for the printing of the xmas cards.
Photo Exhibit. We all agreed that we will still push for 30 photos. 18 photos we will need to shoot either past or upcoming RCGM activities. The 12 remaining photos will be for the charity work done by UWP which we will have to RUSH shoot, choose, print, frame between Nov 19 to 27 because the first UWP concert is scheduled in Nov 28.
Printing & Exhibit Set-up. Photo prints will be 12x18 in size with a 2-inch border and black frame (No glass). Photographer watermark should be a scanned hand signature only. PSN + Sponsor logos will be placed in the borders, not on the photos. Our sponsorship proposal for HP is to provide printers for instant shoots during the exhibit and for funds for the printing. We will get the photos printed somewhere else. Jenner will get quotes for the printing & framing. Sonny is still in charge of the layout/design for the exhibit.
Exhibit Schedules, etc. Jay/Em will talk with UWP to finalize the schedules of the UWP charity events and concerts including venues. We also need to make sure that UWP asks the concert venues to provide us with the space required for the photo exhibit and contacts so we can prepare ahead the paperworks required for the ingress, set-up and eggress of the panels.
Calling cards. Jenner will finish the design of the calling cards. Printing is at the option of the PSN member.
Registration for Exhibit. We need to get a confirmed list of people who will participate in the exhibit. Since this is a professional commitment, proposal is to ask photographers who would like to participate to deposit a Php300 bond which they can get back once they submit 3 photos (Php100 per photo). This ensures that when we assign them to an event, they will honor their commitment and submit their photos.
Selection Panel for Photos. Include Jenner & maybe Leo Castillo. Who else?
Photo Criteria, Rules & Regulations. Ohsie will send rules & regulations from the Canon photo marathon.
Reserved Slots for the Exhibit. To be fair to everyone, the proposal is that only those officers/members who have devoted considerable time to making the exhibit come to fruition will be given automatic slots for the exhibit.
Photo Pricing & Selling. When all the costs are available, we will calculate how much we need to sell the photos to meet our goal for the 20% PSN and 80% Charity fund for RCGM. Photos that are sold will be shipped (cost included) to the buyer only after all of the exhibit has been completed. Christmas cards will be on sale throughout the exhibit.

Its crunch time already guys/gals. There's a lot of work required to make this successful. I know everyone is busy with work & other personal stuff but we knew what we were getting into when we all agreed we will pursue this project. Its too late to back out now if we feel we do not have the time required to contribute to this project. I am going to rework the calendar and see where we can assign people to help out. RJ & Jaykun have showed their interest to help out. For the others, please let me know where you can help out so i can assign you properly.

I've attached a poll here. Please select your answer from the choices. PLEASE VOTE ONLY ONCE. Please avoid turning the comments section into a chatroom - let's use YM for that.

WTF?

2008-10-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

got home from a party this morning past 3am and manage to get some shut-eye a little past 4am and for some reason i was awake at 7am. 7 frakkin' AM ... what the hell is wrong with me? dammit, i need some sleep ... two nights in a row, my poor body is going to give.

frak!

TGIF!

2008-10-17T04:12:00.000+08:00

the best day of the week for me will always have to be friday because its the start of the weekend and tells me that the hustle & bustle of working is about to end. work can be taxing and this week was no exception - juggling multiple presentations is no easy feat. and i used to love doing that - painstakingly working on every detail of my presentations and making sure all of the colors matched up. it was really the OC in me and my compulsion to create the impression that this presentation was worth listening too. today, my presentations are much simpler - i wouldn't say hushed but more direct to the point. eleven years at the big blue creating and doing presentations almost on a weekly basis sort of teaches you the proper ways. you get over whatever presentation jitters you have and just do the best you can.

eleven years. life at the big blue for me is about to close, maybe in the first quarter of next year. sometimes i ask myself if i am making the right decision specially in light of the current economic downturn. i probably have the option to stay but my heart isn't where it used to be and that has been killing me for the past year or so. maybe i should stop using everybody else as an excuse and just take a leap of faith. maybe that's the best way to do it. and maybe i should stop worrying about it too much.

at 34, is it still seriously possible to be crushing on somebody? i should stop. i'm in a better place right now and i seriously don't need the distraction. b'sides, i'm not cut out for it.

well its friday today, i shouldn't be thinking too much. so whatever was written above was not written by me! LOL!

early morning hurrah

2008-10-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

i can't remember the last time i had to wake up in the dead hour of the morning to work. its been a long while since i had to do this - the very last one was when i had to go for 36 hours straight with no sleep finishing my thesis for grad school. that was probably almost a year ago so let's just say i'm not used to this set-up anymore. one thing is that i've never really been good at doing things (that involves a whole lot of thinking) until the dead hours of the night. i'd much rather get some sleep time, wake up real early like i do now and start back working. i think much better in the wee hours of the morning when i feel a bit more refreshed.

its to time to work on some excel magic for data i need to present seven hours from now!

random thoughts

2008-10-14T18:12:00.000+08:00

some random thoughts from today and the past few days ...

i have been sleeping waaay past my usual for the past few days which is the main reason i feel kinda exhausted and crankier in the morning. i really need to get some longer shuteye soon because there's still so much stuff to attend to.
met some cool new peeps from up with people last saturday. sarah from sweden, brandon from denver and armando from mexico. i did meet luis (from brazil) who is the tour manager for UWP and johann. they were very chatty, very friendly folks who i enjoyed sharing stories with. one great thing - they all thought i was in my mid-20s so yeah, hurrah for looking young.
first time to see a juijitsu competition last sunday. it was fascinating.
unplanned as it was, went around trinoma from store to store with b & d checking out what was interesting on the shelves. went home with two nice shirts and realized that there are so many drool-worthy clothes begging me to buy them. but yeah, when i slim down more then i'll be able to buy them. another reason why i should do the gym religiously.
finally had lechon at chanda's dinner after craving for it for quite some time now. and strangely enough, i had lechon again saturday at tiendesitas. finally satisfied as well my cravings for yellow cab's charlie chan pasta with wings and pizza last sunday. cyma's roka salata for dinner (yum!). cpk for monday dinner.

sure glad its wednesday tomorrow. so many things to do workwise. haven't even booked my upcoming business trip (need to do that asap). i need to get my braces adjusted tomorrow. so many things to do, so little time.

Exhibit Project Schedule in JPG/Acrobat

2008-10-09T09:43:00.000+08:00

PSN Peeps,

Here's the schedule in JPG format & Acrobat for those of you who can't open the file. You can download, print and put the 8 sheets together to see the full schedule. This is not final - still subject to discussion.

love alone

2008-10-08T06:19:00.000+08:00

i probably have posted this before but hearing this song on my ipod made me remember how much i love the message of this song. life really has a way of throwing you a bone when you're feeling the blues.

love alone
caedmon's call

No one would love me
if they knew all the things I hide
My words fall to the floor
As tears drip through the telephone line

And the hands I’ve seen raised to the sky
Not waving but drowning all this time
I'll try to build an ark that they need
To float to you upon the crystal sea

Chorus:
Give me your hand to hold
'Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough to hold us up
We've got to touch your robe
So swing your robe down low
Swing your robe down low

The prince of despair's been beaten
But the loser still fights
Death's on a long leash
Stealing my friends to the night

And everyone cries for the innocent
You say to love the guilty too
And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
So I'm working tearing back the roof

Repeat Chorus

And the pain of the world is a burden
And it's my cross to bear
And I stumble under all the weight
I know you're Simon standing there
And I know you're standing there

PSN Board : Exhibit Timeline

2008-10-07T17:15:00.000+08:00

Peeps,

====================================================================
Things We Need to Do :
1. We need to meet this weekend to discuss the attached schedule, talk about the deadlines and the ownership of the activities.
2. The following activities need to start this week. See file for deadlines:

Finalize venues for Exhibit (Em)
Selection of Judging Panel (Benjie)
Mechanics of the Photo Exhibit (Benjie)
Final activity schedule for RCGM & UWP (Em)
Finalize details of RCGM sponsorship (Em)
Exhibit Prelim Estimate (Sonny)
Merchandise Prelim Estimate (Ohsie)
Marketing Prelim Estimate (Rick)
Miscellaneous Prelim Estimate (Malou)
Finalize letterheads (Jenner)
Finalize PSN ID design (Benjie/Jenner)
Finalize PSN Shirt design (Rick)
Prepare other sponsorship letters (Em)

3. RCGM & UWP would like to meet with Kuya Benjie this coming saturday. We can schedule the board meeting after the meeting with them.
====================================================================

The confirmed UWP shows where we would hold the exhibit are the following:
Nov 28 - WTC
Nov 29 - MOA
Nov 30 - Glorietta

There is one BIG problem in terms of the photos to be included in the exhibit - that is, the inclusion of photos taken of the UWP activities beginning sometime in Nov 19 when they arrive. There seems to be no way we can take the photos, pick them out, print them and have them framed in time for the first exhibit (Nov 28). I am working on duration estimates right now so we will need to fine tune it so we can get a more accurate project schedule. The first exhibit on Nov 28 is a week earlier than our original plan.

I've placed owners (activity leads who can assign and form teams) on the activities in the file. It is up to everyone to review the assignments and find a replacement if you are not comfortable handling the responsibility.

I have to emphasize to everyone that the timings are VERY tight and there will be work that needs to be done on a weekly basis moving forward. We will have to help each other out and leverage on as much of the PSN people out there who are willing to help out.

I will be out of the country from November 9-23. Em will coordinate the deadlines.

I've created the project schedule in two files. The microsoft project version is better but i also re-created the schedule in excel that auto-plots based from a start & end date. Excel is 2007. Project file is Office 2003.

You can filter for any of the activities you own (or lead) or any of the activities that start on a particular date. Manually, you can also just check the columns for the week today and see which activities are hi-lited - that either means the activity needs to start or the activity should be in-progress.

I could talk more about the details of the schedule and explain the activities when we meet.

Sorry for the long post. Just need to get all that's in my head in writing.

not a good time to contemplate

2008-10-07T12:38:00.000+08:00

one of the things i hate about having some alone time is that it gives me time to breathe and think of things i probably shouldn't have. alone time gives me time to reflect and reflection makes the fuzzy unfuzzy and right now i think its best to remain unfocused - at least on certain topics. i did say at least for the short term that i am going to just enjoy life, to have no attachments and just dive head on. i guess there are some things about me i can't change - like the fact that i can overanalyze too much and get worried about things too early to get worried about. its times like these that i feel vulnerable and the negative vibes start creeping in. its probably brought about by recent events and how i want for things and people i cannot have.

i think moving forward, the best recourse is to just enjoy the moment. to not expect anything from anyone. to not fall for the unattainable or those where there's no future together. to not get too attached to anyone because everyone will leave eventually. and to just accept that my life is how i choose to live it.

> lunch in sg [09/27/2008]

2008-10-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

i met my good friends annie, jap and their hubbies for lunch when i was in singapore last weekend. annie has just moved to singapore for good a couple of weeks back and expecting jap was their visiting her husband. incidentally, it was jap's birthday last september 25 so there was one more reason to get together that saturday afternoon.

the thought of having lunch with a couple of friends in another country is just , i dunno, nice. i wish eric was with us that time because it was the four of us who originally bonded during that trip to galera a few years back. what is funny about lunch that day is that we went to pepper lunch which has a branch in rockwell. we were laughing throughout lunch as we talked about a whole lot of nonsense things and we made okray each other (i can't think of the english word for okray right now). we're just fun that way. i finally met annie's boyfriend kenneth and he seemed like a nice guy. i was surprised to see annie in a dress that day - i bet she forgot to launder her clothes hence the dress. i definitely looked like a tourist that time - shorts, shirt and a knapsack - the look that feels like they're going to die from the warm weather and the non-stop walking.

we walked around a bit to check out some stores that day and ended up at coffee bean and tea leaf . it was a fun afternoon . makes me sad that annie is in sg already and jap probably will move there soon.

just a few more months and i'll have my options open. maybe moving to sg is still an option worth pursuing. but i'd cross the bridge when i get there.

green gone blue

2008-10-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

i spent the entire day today watching the uaap judo tournament at up diliman in support of em's hubby tj's team. the funny thing here is that tj (together with his brother) coaches the ateneo judo team - and we all know i'm a green archer by heart. if the archers knew i was there rooting for the blue eagles, arrows would probably have flung from their benches straight through my heart. as luck will have it, the blue eagles snag the men's championship for both the juniors and seniors division. the green archers came in second in the seniors division. both teams are winners in my book. and yes (tj), if you are going to say anything, you're team is #1 and i rooted for you guys! my fellow green archers are going to burn me at the stake.

mind you, its very rare that i drive to this part of the metro but i promised em i was going to watch the tournament. seeing that someone i was seriously crushing on was just an added plus that made spending my whole day there worth it. it was interesting to watch the judo tournament - a first for me and i wasn't disappointed. there was a lot of drama in the competition - bloody cuts, athletes being hauled out on stretchers, bodies getting thrown here and there, and probably a whole lot of broken bones. its such an honor to be an athlete, to represent your school and give them pride by coming home with a medal. the sad thing about games is that there are winners and there are losers. i think the mere fact of competing makes everybody already a winner. i can't even see myself doing judo, much less compete - i'd probably die and i wouldn't want that. this sport i'd say is not for the faint of heart - broken bones, bloody cuts and all. maybe if i was younger i'd give it a try it because there's something about youth and being fearless. one thing for sure though - since i'm friends with both em & tj, i'll probably be forever rooting for the blue eagles in this sport.

its really fun to hang out with cute couple em & tj. and even though i've only known them for a few short months, it feels like i've known them for more than that. i've been introduced to the world of juijitsu and judo which is actually quite interesting to watch. meeting them is probably fate - and like they say, you can't fight fate. teehee.

one thing i realized being around the ateneans is that they all speak english. is that a requirement? LOL! they're all so conyo! la sallians are more down-to-earth (a.k.a tagalog ever ang language). ok, for the record, i could understand them perfectly well and i'll answer in english if they talk to me in english. if not, i prefer to use the native tongue! pinoy ako e! =)

this blog is sort of nonsense. can't really think of anything to write since my legs hurt like all get out and i can't think of anything else but sam.

overheard during the competition: "what's ateneo saying during their cheer? volt & fight?" ... "uhmmm, its One Big Fight!" hahaha peace!

PSN Board: Activity Owners Needed

2008-10-02T18:32:00.000+08:00

PSN Board, Committee Heads, Active Members,

I am in the process of putting up together a master schedule for all activities we need to work on for the upcoming December Photo Exhibit with RCGM & UWP. I'd have to say i've already listed a lengthy list already with some activities i've temporarily assigned owners already.

If you are interested in OWNING any of the activities listed then please let me know by tomorrow. Otherwise, i will randomly assign names to the activities. I am going to work on when are the deadlines for these activities but i anticipate that some of the dates will have to be discussed as a group. I think we will need to meet to discuss the schedule including the details of each of the activities.
*If you become an owner of an activity, you can solicit the help of other PSN members to help you out. What OWNING an activity means is that you will be accountable for making sure the activity is completed.

FYI ...Em informed me today that Mr. Tsai (President of RCGM) would like to meet Kuya Benjie so we will have to schedule that for next week. Kuya B, is monday a good day for you?

The Master Schedule is in Microsoft Project but i moved the activity list in excel manually.

SG - Almost Over

2008-09-30T03:51:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i've been in SG for almost six days now. i'm having mixed feelings going home - partly because there are a number of places i haven't seen here yet (my feet just won't let me anymore) and partly because being on vacation and not having to do anything just feels great. on the other hand, i do miss home and friends and there are a lot of backlog on my downloading activities. The SG trip has been exhausting - late nights everynight, killer walks daily and alternating warm weather outside and cold blast inside the malls, trains and walkways. i'm surprised i don't have pneumonia yet. Quite frankly, i don't think i managed to get as much pictures as i hoped for - pain is such a mood killer. we'll see later on when i sort out the photos what comes out from this trip. there's a lot to blog about but words escape me right now - rest is frankly all i care for right now.

flight is at 230pm. yeah, this trip is almost over.