AI7 : Top 20 Results

the second set of four contestants bid AI7 farewell. alaina leaving is a complete shocker. i thought she deserved to stay longer than some of the other girls. once again, america never fails to surprise us.

antibiotics and dizzy spells

still pretty much shaken up by the whole episode with my ortho yesterday, i was a bit feverish yesterday. though not so much so to warrant staying in bed but enough to take things a bit slower today. i need to take my antibiotics except that i'm actually allergic to penicillin/amoxicillin that the doctor prescribed erythromycin instead. i guess the only thing about this drug is that its more powerful and it can cause a bit of a stomach discomfort (read in tagalog as "sinisikmura"). i took my meds right after i've had my bowl of oatmeal and glass of orange juice and realized that maybe mixing that meds with the orange juice is not a good idea. still not sure but i can say that i haven't felt great since this morning. i had another serving of food to make sure that its not because i haven't eated enough but earlier on, i had a severe attack of dizziness. i was seated working on my laptop when it came so suddenly i thought there was an earthquake. my desk literally seemed like it was flipping right in front of me. that scared the sh*t out of me mainly because if that happened while i was driving, i would have seriously gotten into an accident. i can't wait to get out of this drugs - damn getting that wisdom tooth extracted. damn these braces. vanity can really screw you over.

50% less wiser

when i decided to have get my braces, my primary reasons were to close the widening gap between my two front upper teeth and benefit from the pain and suffering of adjustments to jumpstart my getting fit strategy. i did manage to hold off eating a bit when biting and chewing became unbearable after adjustments but the pain and suffering unfortunately tapered off the more aligned my teeth became until eating once again became a pleasurable experience.

fast forward to this year what with my ortho telling i need to get my wisdom teeth extracted so the final leg of the alignments will work properly. ok, so after delaying the inevitable since i got back from my trip, i finally decided to pay him a visit today. i could have said i can't do it today but i decided there was no use delaying and i asked him to take the first one off. he gave me 4 shots of anaesthesia instead of 2 and i have to say the whole experience still felt like i was a POW and i was being tortured into revealing some sort of top secret information. ok, so maybe i am exaggerating but no kidding, despite the numbness it was still quite painful. when he was doing the sutures, it wasn't really that bad and almost an hour after, the left side of my mouth still feels numb. the experience was quite traumatic and i'd have to go back two weeks from now for the other one to get extracted. i'm already expecting it to be more painful because the other tooth is planted deeper. so two weeks from now, march 11 is going to royally suck.

AI7 : Top 24 Results

the first four contestants off american idol season 7 bid farewell.

i can eat again!

today was the first day i could finally eat sorta normal food but i wanted to make sure that my 10-day detox isn't going to go to waste that i decided that instead of the usual, i am going to try and eat healthy. i'd have to say that having to eat healthy in some ways isn't quite fun. i started the day off with oatmeal - the plain, sugarless not even fruit-flavored kind which thankfully with the addition of some blueberries made it bearable. yuckness #1. lunch was great though - wheat bread, slice of turkey ham, lettuce, tomatoes and dijon mustard. i helped myself to 24 almonds. yumness. i forgot though that in between meals, i gave in and finally tasted the banana bread and carrot-apple muffins that my sister made which i have stayed away from for two whole weeks. they were quite good but for some reason, i'm not really craving as much sugar right now. i roasted a rosemary marinated chicken tonight and had a good serving of skinless chicken breast and some steamed spinach and mixed carrots, peas & corn. one of the things i've discovered is that plain yoghurt taste is super yucky - the only thing that made it salvageable for me was i mixed it with some blueberries whose natural sweetness made it bearable. otherwise, yuckness #2. yeah, being healthy isn't as easy as it seems - if it was, all of us would be looking fit & healthy. but like they say, its always the bad stuff that's delicious.

one of the cool new things i decided to buy of late is the 9-minute marinator. yeah, blame it on tuning in to those tv shopping channels. but i've been eyeing this one for quite a while now and read that it really does work. so far i think it does work with some of the dishes we tried. i'll probably know for sure when i do the barbecued ribs over the weekend. i'd have to say its a pretty expensive cooking gadget and i'll slap myself silly if it proves to be a dud. so far though, i am satisfied.

getting back to normal

so yes, i managed to complete all 10 days of the "Master Cleanse" program last sunday. Yes, 10 days of having nothing except the lemonade concoction. this was my first attempt at detoxifying my body and final tally - 10.2lbs less than when i started. again, i look like i have a jawline (lol!). 10.2 lbs in 10 days isn't too bad. i'm now breaking off from the detox program and today, i had orange juice galore for the whole day - managed to finish all 2 liters of it.

as i promised, i went to the gym after finishing up work - faithfully did a 20-min stop & go cardio and did my weight training. i didn't really care if i was only using 5, 10 & 15lbs dumbells but i decided to start slowly lest i overexert myself and find myself too sore the next day. i've had that happen last time effectively preventing me from going back to the gym the rest of the week. its pretty hard to do more abdominal exercises because i think i have a weak back or i might not be doing these abdominal exercises properly. tomorrow, i'll do the hip-hop abs here at home --- yeah, i need to get back in shape (for the fans! hahaha).

one thought-provoking thing kept popping into my head the whole time today and more when i was shopping at S&R after my workout. i was talking to a colleague today and we talked about our future in our current organization. we realized that what happened to some good friends (who got retrenched) can very well happen to us too. we agreed that whatever amount we will be getting isn't really going to last very long - and there is truth to it. the thought of not having a job mortifies me - and makes me more determined to figure out a plan B. i am praying that rr/jfc gets back (as they promised) this week and bring forth good news. i am in serious need of a new adventure - a fresh start. God-willing, i know that there is good news coming in the horizon.

survey. survey. survey (from my classmate hazel)

can't you tell i'm bored?

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6am
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? one more chance, i think (lol!)
4. What's your favorite TV show? grey's anatomy, house, brothers & sisters, bsg
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? a glass of lemonade concoction
6. What's your favorite cuisine? chinese>japanese>spanish>american>italian in that order
7. What food do you dislike? Blood stew (eeewww)
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? BBQ
9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? everything on my ipod's LSS playlist
10. What kind of car do you drive? Honda CRV
11. Favorite sandwich? Ham & Cheese and Crabstick sandwich from Oliver's
12. What characteristics do you despise? Backstabbing beyotch
13. What is your favorite type of clothing? Jeans, shirts & havs
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation. Where? Europe
15. What color is your bathroom? Blue
16. Favorite brand of clothing? American Eagle Outfitters, Springfield
17. Where would you retire to? Either near the beach or somewhere in the country
18. Favorite time of the day? Mornings - reminds me that i am alive
19. What was your most memorable birthday? All of my birthdays are memorable
20. Where were you born? Mandaluyong
21. Favorite sport to watch? F1, World Cup, Volleyball
22. Were you named after anyone? Probably from someone who is royalty (lol)
23. Do you wish on stars? When i was a kid
24. When did you last cry? I don't cry anymore
25. Do you like your handwriting? I have very nice penmanship
26. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? BFF
27. Are you a daredevil? Oh yeah, i'm an adrenaline junkie
28. Do looks matter? Only if you are superficial
29. How do you release anger? I bitchslap anyone caught within the warpath
30. What were your favorite toys as a child? Hmmm i don't think i had any favorites
31. What class in High School was totally useless? Work Education
32. Favorite movies? Under the Tuscan Sun, LOTR, Matrix
33. What are your nicknames? Jay. I don't respond to anything else.
34. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Of course. I love my shoes too much.
35. Do you think that you are strong? I get by
36. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla Bean forever!
37. What are your favorite colors? Blue, White, Green & Red. I look great in those hues.
38. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I can be super OC
39 What color pants are you wearing? I'm wearing shorts right now.
40. Last thing you ate? My lemonade concoction, naka-detox kasi ako!
41. Favorite song? With You by Chris Brown
42. If you were a CRAYON what color would you be? Blue (Red daw is the ultimate slut color)
43. Last person you talked to on the phone? My classmate, Mark.
44. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Her clothes
45. Favorite drink? Water
46. Do you wear contacts? Nope, i have 20/20 vision
47. Favorite day of the year? Christmas
48. Endings happy or sad? Happy definitely
49. Winter/summer? Summer, i get to go to the beach!
50. Hugs OR Kisses? Why can't i have both?
51. What is Your Favorite Dessert? Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting
52. What Book(s) are you reading? None, i don't feel like reading lately.
53. What is on your mouse pad? A Black canvass
54. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? American Idol
55. Favorite Smells? I love anything citrus - it smells clean.
56. Stones or Beatles? Let's just say i'm not such a big fan of the oldies
57. Where's the furthest you've been from home? Arizona

american idol - top 24

yes, i'm a self-confessed american idol fanatic. there's just something about it that's really addicting and something about cheering for your favorite that makes it worthwhile to see. there seems to be a whole lot of talent this year - not reminiscent of the horrible sanjaya malakar season. i could be wrong of course - how everybody fares remains to be seen. but here's the top 24 - who are you rooting for?

fat boy

the realization of how much weight i've gain over the past six months hit me like a brick wall. over the past month, i've been building up the supplies needed for a much needed detox diet even buying some of the supplies during my trip. i've made up my mind that i need to start this detox tomorrow. weighing in at 190lbs is career topping if i may so with me being the skinny kid back in high school. age really has a way of screwing up your metabolism and the stress-free, laid back life i've grown accustomed to over the past year is really showing. gym has gone back to being my charitable institution but i seriously plan to make a comeback - this time with a major purpose. i'd really like to work on achieving my "body for life."

hopefully i get to lose all 25lbs, get back to a cool 165 and finally be able to wear my S & M-sized shirts again.

Tiger in the Year of the Rat

2008 Predictions

1. It will be a mixed year of good and not so good (not bad) and a year of learning new skills; investment opportunities and career change with some slight negative side to the year although if you follow my advice you can have a great year.
2. The rewards for the year can be very good if you are prepared to work hard and able to accept some changes, the changes will be good for you although it may not seem it at the time.
3. This year can also be a year of learning and this is why changes are frequent as it could be learning a new job, ideas that you have had in last year whether for a new business, career or new hobby, this is the year you should put them in place.
4. It is a better year for those in paid employment rather than self employed.
5. 2008 will be a busy year and whilst all should go well with career and finance you can overlook partners needs, so make sure you make time for loved ones whether it is your wife, boyfriend, Mother, sister or best friend.
6. The single Tiger will find a few offers but you will need to choose carefully as it is hard to tell a book by its cover.
7. A mixed year for finances and investments and make sure you read the small print as the annual stars suggest legal issues and back stabbing, so be careful.
8. Make sure you leave time for yourself and try to relax more as stress can be an issue and you may feel down at times, whatever is on your mind right now it WILL pass.
9. Although overall it should be a good year for the Tiger please be positive as you can suffer from sadness.
10. For further protection wear some hematite beads or place some hematite beside your bed.
11. In 2008 you should use the four pillars enhancers. If there is one month in the year to tread carefully it will be in October 2008, so please remember this month.
12. Be careful of gossip/slander and people who are jealous of you, they may try and make you look bad.
13. Young Tigers born in 1998 should do well this year.
14. In October you should be careful of accidents with knives so if you have children of this age keep them away from sharp objects.
15. To enhance romance and career in 2008 place four pieces of hematite crystal along a very auspicious i-ching coin placed in a bowl of still water, this cure is very important in 2008 as is the Four Pillars Taiyang enhancer placed in the inter-cardinal compass sectors SW-SE-NW & NE.
16. Take extra care in the months of April, June, October and November and make sure you check back with us monthly to get your updates for the month.
17. Your lucky sector: (astrological zone) is the Northeast (52.5º - 67.5º) of the home or office.
18. Although the northeast is your astrological zone, this may not be the best direction for you to face when seated at work or doing anything important.
19. If you are relocating your desk this year to face one of your favourable personal directions, please be aware of the directions and locations of the annual afflictions in particular south and northwest in 2008.
20. You are in affinity with the Pig/Boar. For your protection, you should have a key chain pendant of a Pig.
21. Be careful if your main door, bedroom or office or any other important room is located in the south, northwest or west this year 2008.
22. If your office or bedroom is located in the southeast or southwest please be aware that in the months of April & July 2008 make sure you place a Wu Lou or six Chinese coins tied in a row with red ribbon for the month especially if you are not in good health or very stressed.
23. When at work, you may sit facing the south direction if this is one of your personal good directions, but do not sit with your back to the south or you may find unscrupulous people working against you or you may encounter undue gossip and back stabbing during the year.
24. Because the south has the three killings and Sui Po combined with the #5 bad luck star this makes the south very undesirable in 2008 and considering I have my office in the south one cure I shall definitely be using and one that is an intricate and an exceptionally powerful cure in 2008 and can only be used in certain years is by placing a six metal Dragon hanging Pagoda.
25. The reason you can only use this cure in the south is because the Dragon is part of the three combinations (San He) and if placed correctly not only can it cure the negative effects of the south in 2008 it can also enhance a very inauspicious area making it an extremely powerful cure and enhancer.
26. North is where Tai Sui With Tai Sui (Grand Duke of Jupiter) , you may rely on him for support in that you may sit with him in the north and face the south.
27. Do not confront him (Grand Duke of Jupiter) by undertaking any renovation or construction works in the north or by sitting in a position that is directly opposite him (south).
28. In 2008, this means do not sit with your back to the south facing north even if this is your best direction.
29. Most traditional Chinese families would place a Pi Yao and a gold coloured three legged toad in the south of the home facing north or if your main door is in the north, place it just inside the door facing north.
30. Sui Po (The year breaker) year breaker occupies the division directly opposite Tai Sui Grand Duke, which for 2008 is south.
31. You should treat this area (The year breaker) the same as the other annual afflictions with no groundbreaking work, renovations or any noisy activities.
32. If disturbed this area (The year breaker) can and normally will cause immediate health problems especially for the elderly, so please be very careful.
33. If you have to carry out work or emergency repairs in the south place a six hollow metal rod wind chime (if you are using the 2008 cures kit you do not have to think about it) between the building and where the work is being carried out.
34. To soften the effects of the year you should hang six Chinese coins tied with a red ribbon and place it in the northwest of your home or office this year to control the #2 star.
35. You should also place a six rod metal wind chime in the south along with a set of six Chinese coins tied together with ribbon in your home this year to weaken the #5.

i'm back

having no internet connection for the past week was torture there were times i thought i was going to go out of my mind not having the liberty to check my email on a whim. so finally today, after calling everyday since tuesday they (pldt) finally sent somebody to fix the damn thing. a word of warning, if you are subscribed to pldt mydsl, good luck dealing with their customer service - they're pretty much useless. expect at least a week of outtage (if you are lucky) before they endorse your request to the service technician. anyway, i am just glad to be back online - means i have the liberty to start working from home again. yay, for that.

in the past week till today, both the remaining prospects i have called back for my final meetings. i managed to set-up the jfc/rr meeting after emailing them i was back in manila when surprisingly i received a call from a/ for the closing meeting. i think i did well in both meetings because i knew i was in my element during the conversations. i just know because words flowed effortlessly and finding the right words to say to the questions came instantaneously. while i was very hopeful, i also expect that neither of the last two prospects will probably be able to match the x/sg package. i will know soon and i remain hopeful the package is going to be good.

i'm excited at the prospect of going on a new adventure.

disconnected

since i got back monday, the internet connection at home is still not working. today is day 4 and i've been calling to follow-up every day for the past three days. despite my still existing bouts with jetlag, i had to drive to the cavite plant two days in a row now - what a sacrifice (lol)! its almost three weeks of downloading backlog and i'm going to have a hard time catching up seeing the shows i love.

i honestly can't imagine being this disconnected. its torture not being able to surf the internet or blog even. the last two weeks of blogging hiatus was a welcome change - being quite busy and tired from the whole day meetings, my head was too tired by day's end to even think about blogging. now that i'm back and still disconnected, there's nothing a whole lot to do at home than watch tv (which i rarely do these days) and try to shake off this jetlag. it'll be easy to just pop some sleeping pills but i make it a point on not taking any sleep aids during the weekday. if i haven't managed to get back my sleep cycle, i'll probably take some friday night.

so please pldt .... fix my darn DSL NOW!!!

hard choices

taking the last two weeks to think things through proved to be time well-spent. in more ways, i think God rewarded me with the signs i prayed for and i found it wasn't really that hard to convince myself i was making the right decision. i would have preferred to convey my decision via e-mail when i got back but my internet was down (for the last two days, frak!) and as much as i wanted to delay getting back at them, i received their follow-up call yesterday. after the phonecall, i decided to send them an e-mail using my mobile phone.

"Thank you for your interest in offering me a place in your prestigious company.

It is unfortunate that at this time, due to the current state of my family, we have decided that it is best for me to stay for the time being. I am very thankful for this opportunity and wish you all the best. I hope that I will have the pleasure to work with you in the future."

a lot of friends had all given very sound advice and i have read and taken all of it to heart. some of you may feel i squandered a perfectly good opportunity and maybe i did but i know in my heart this decision was right for me. there was a fleeting feeling of loss after i told them about my decision but after seeing my nephew, getting hugged and showered with kisses, i couldn't imagine life without him. i know some of my friends would not agree with my decision - believe me it was a hard decision to make because in some ways, moving abroad was like a dream. i realized though that some dreams are better left where they are because the reality is this - where i will be happy is with my family, and there's not enough money they can offer to replace that.

back at it again

i'm back at the airport again. i am about two hours early for my flight to LA and i sit here staring once again into a near empty gate. phoenix isn't busy right now but its going to be soon since next week is going to be the superbowl. i'd have to say that i love arizona despite the heat - i have friends here and a lot of memories and experiences made. if things work out, i don't know if i will be able to come back.

the last week has been a flurry of activities. one face to face after another dragged for so long i felt worn out by the end of it. my colds has been on and off which is likely of my own doing for not getting restful sleep nightly. i ate so much the past week that i hardly believe what the weighing scale says now. i have resolved myself that there's no escape to gaining a whole lot of weight during this trip. seeing gizie and how good she looks now from all the gym workout and healthy eating gives me motivation to go back to the gym.

still an hour to go and i'm running out of things to say. i hope i get better during the trip because i don't want to come back all sickly. i'm going to miss az.

time's almost up ...

i am in the last leg of this trip. i still do have mixed feelings about leaving on saturday - can't wait to get back home to see my friends and my loved ones (my sweet sweet nephew) but at the same time wanting to postpone having to make a decision.

i've been up late almost every night since i got here - there's just me and these trips to the other side of the world. i get jetlags pretty bad. over the past week, i've shopped mostly for the fam which in a way is uncharacteristic of me since i usually shop more for myself. this time though, i feel like buying clothes is not a worthy investment (yes, i still treat clothing as investment --- may ukay-ukay na kasi hahaha) cause i think i've gained too much weight that i am a size bigger than what i usually wear. so NOT a lot of clothing for me. i've mostly packed already having the done the due diligence of packing early to see where everything fits - and so far, i think i need to be creative packing some of the remaining stuff.

over the last couple of weeks, well-meaning friends have shared a lot of their thoughts regarding the SG offer. I'd have to say friends were split into two - those who thinks i should take it and those who think i should stay. coincidentally, i asked both my mom and sister about it and they both have differing opinions. i did ask my nephew about it and of course he wants me to stay. in a way i think i would have been leaning towards accepting the offer when i got back the last week UNTIL i got the call from jfc/rr. that sort of threw a wrench on everything. honestly, despite the opportunities that SG offers, my heart tells me that i would be happier staying - seeing my nephew grow and being with my family and my friends. there's still some more time left to think about it. so yeah, time's almost up.

catching up

things have been quite hectic the last few days with the face-to-face and all the post-meeting stuff that had to be taken cared of that there was never really any good time to write. its pretty cold in arizona right now at -2 deg celsius that in the first two day's i had a terrible cold which abated pretty quickly after taking tylenol cold multi-symptom. i still have been sniffling the past two days though but taking the tylenol cold (night) gave me a really great night's sleep. so i'm ready to do some shopping later on.

one of the great news for this week has been, i would say, an answered prayer. i received a call from jfc/rr around midnight three days ago informing me that they are going to set up a meeting. there's no formal offer yet of course and its still a risk, and before receiving this call, i was already leaning more on accepting the SG offer after much debate. now i am not so sure.

in my first week, i've managed to buy a few pieces of clothing that i really needed but i've been happily shopping clothes and shoes for my dear nephew. i just couldn't resist it, a lot of really great clothes for him. today, i'd start shopping for the fam. its a good and bad thing that i'm not in my best shape right now - good, because i'm not really too keen in buying bigger sized shirts right now, and bad, because i can't buy new clothes. Go figure.

last night, giz, larry and myself had dinner at oregano's. we ordered quite a handful, more than what the three of us could finish. oregano's is one of our favorite restaurants. great pizza. great salad. and a really awesome pizza cookie dessert topped with two scoops of vanilla bean ice cream. giz and larry have both been really great hosts during my stay here. they've really been taking good care of me and i'm so inspired by gizie's dedication to healthy living nowadays. its time i do the same when i get back - for now, i have to enjoy this trip.

lastly, annie (bless her heart) did such a wonderful thing for me this week that i am very very thankful for. grad school released a schedule to file for an application-to-graduate and all the due dates pretty much were impossible for me being here in the US. annie completed all of my requirements, even advanced the PHp2.2k payment so i can march during the graduation ceremony this coming march'08. Thank you Annie! And yes, i would have done the same thing for you!

can i leave him behind?

my sister tells me my nephew misses me back home. she sent me a text message while i was at the airport that my nephew cried after i got off the car and said he was going to miss me. jacob can be so dramatic sometimes - but that kind of sweetness, love is nothing short of genuine. i really miss him already. my sister says jacob always says he misses me (with tears in his eyes pa) everyday. it makes it harder to consider leaving him if i decide to move to singapore. the clock is ticking and i need to make a decision soon. so far, with all the people i've talked to, it seems that going for it is the right thing to do. maybe i know the answer to begin with and i am just afraid to accept it. i'm still praying for the sign - and to hopefully not have to be apart from my nephew who i love with all of me.

sicky sicky

it must be the cold, the lack of sleep, the long flight - but i felt sick the whole day yesterday. the meds knocked me out last night that i didn't even realized it was past 9am already. giz and larry were already at the office by then but giz was kind enough to leave me breakfast at the microwave. i spent the day working and dozing off, not necessarily in that order but it was hard to concentrate because i was feeling weak the entire time. since giz was going to the gym after work and larry was going out for pool night, i decided to prepare dinner instead. it was the first time i was doing this dish but it was simple enough that it turned out nicely - chicken cordon bleu. and instead of frying it, i baked it in the oven so it was healthier. the mushroom gravy needed a lot of adjusting (might have put a little too much salt) before i managed to get it right. probably too thin for others but i thought it was just the right consistency to slather onto the chicken and brown rice. yep, its easier to eat healthier here.

in between worlds

sitting around waiting for my connecting flight, i realized how lonely traveling can get. there's a lot of people traveling but most know no one during the flight. we all sit around minding our own business while the whole world pass by. airports, for me, feels some kind of limbo - its a way between worlds where you leave people you know behind and then move on to the next gate where you meet people you know. for more than 18 hours, it felt like i was in limbo. traveling, after some time, can suck the life and joy out of you - specially when you are traveling alone. excited to finally be back almost seven months from last time i was here, i know i am going to enjoy the shopping, the dining out and seeing friends i've made here in chandler. in some ways, being here so much over the last couple of years makes me feel so at home. its a good thing this trip is going to be only two weeks because i already miss the fam back home specially my nephew, who cried when they dropped me off the airport saying he was going to miss me. two weeks for the trip is not so good because it means i have to make a decision soon. this week is going to be a very busy one for me and hopefully the week after is lighter. i should get a headstart on my shopping tomorrow!

considerations ...

the thing about having to make decisions is that its hard when you have a lot of factors to consider. i've been quite open to a few close friends about this whole adventure that i decided to take a few months back and today was no different. there is just comfort in being to hear what they have to say - like taking all the variables and inputs before making any calculations. i was beset the whole day on what's the best way to make a decision that i decided to invite car & bel and take solace in prayer - and what better way to do that than go visit the chapel where the pink sisters pray. yes, i find peace in prayer and i (and my family) went to this chapel a couple of times during the trying times. if there was a way to make a sound decision, this was it for me.

i realized talking to friends that what is being offered is quite good. doing the math, its a very good offer if i was single or if my family would be with me in SG. having to support them in manila and having to live independently will mean the expenses sort of doubles. that puts quite a big dent on "supposed" savings. peso per peso, at the same salary, it definitely is much more advantageous to stay in the country.

the other more major factor is the thought of not seeing and being with my nephew feels unbearable. if going there is a sure way to provide him with a secure future, that is the sacrifice to make. its not me trying to be a hero, its me accepting the responsibility that we owe it to him to have a future. i told him last night i was going to ride the airplane and will be away from home and he hugged me and told me "i want you to stay here, uncle!" what can you say to that? and more importantly, how will you feel about that?

i am praying deeply for the local company i am interested in to make an offer that i can compare to. this is definitely going to be something that will occupy my head at least for the next couple of weeks. foregoing this opportunity is an option definitely. take a chance and wait for the rr/j to make an offer or if that doesn't work out, continue to look for other prospects and risk getting a similar salary (which probably still isn't bad).

right now, i am praying for a sign.