Owl City - Vanilla Twilight

waking up in the morning and knowing God has given you another day to live, love and share yourself to the world. no sense wasting a perfectly good opportunity to make a difference.

2012 : Year in Review

FAST is how i would characterize 2012.  Time flies when you’re work is over and above your head.  Inspite of that, there’s a whole lot more to be thankful for - health, family, friends, career, wealth.  God has continuously been generous to me and to the people i care about.  So here’s to an amazing 2012 and hopefully an even more spectacular 2013.  Bring it on.

hobbies.  having been quite busy with work, there wasn’t really a lot happening on the photography front.  I did manage to do some shoots back in january, another in march when i was in bangkok and a couple more the last leg of the year.  it was too few and far between that when i started working on the photos, i couldn’t remember my workflows.  i do need to get back into shooting more as i feel the need to be creative helps me think better at work, and hopefully be more imaginative at school.  off portraits, i have taken a liking to posting food photos in instagram, taken mostly using my galaxy note.  give or take a few more, i think i have enough food photos for a mini-photobook.  let’s see how that pans out.

career.  work has been real crazy this 2012 - it has been quite challenging and could be downright depressing and overwhelming at times.  while i think i have got my department organization down pat already, i still think my next-in-lines can benefit a lot from continued mentoring.  i’d like to believe i’m doing well at work but it would always be a matter of perspective.  the culture at syngenta is definitely different than intel and sometimes that can be a good or bad thing.  in my case, its mostly the latter.  i say it as i see it because its certainly a huge opportunity for improvement.  and like what i always say, “take advantage of every opportunity.”  i am starting to realize how tiring it is to drive back & forth from manila to visit the plant in pangasinan.  driving 9 hours is wickedly exhausting and i feel at times, counter-productive.  i need a driver on those days.

i can’t believe that i’m done with 4 out of the 8 modules of the program i’m attending at the University of Warwick.  wasn’t it just last december when i got that e-mail that my nomination to attend this course was approved?  attending the weeklong school stuff is a breeze, its the post-module assignment (PMA) that comes after that’s stressful.  Grades have been quite good so far so that’s a relief.

this year, i’ve seen myself grow more impatient with people at work.  i know i shouldn’t let it get to me but honestly, it feels quite good to lash out from time to time.  i guess its why going to the gym feels therapeutic than anything else, at least there i get to vent out without consequences.

family.  family is quite well in 2012.  despite the occasional sickness, everyone seems to be healthy.  Jacob is all grown-up at nine, still speaks in english (by choice) but understands common tagalog phrases better.  He still struggles with his Math and Filipino subjects, thus the need for tutoring but otherwise, he remains a smart boy.  i’m thankful that my family is safe always.

social | friends.  Friends have been quite busy with their own lives in 2012.  one of my really good friends, mj, moved to switzerland this year while joseph (who i fondly call shoti) remains in singapore.  the really great thing about technology though is that i get to talk (ok, chat is the right term) to them via whatsapp anytime.  ok, except when they’re sleeping but you get the idea.  i’ve cut back completely on going out during workdays as i have a rekindled love with my bed, the gym and the solitude that comes with it.  There’s the occasional social obligation to attend to however, but call me old-fashioned but i’m quite glad i’m over that phase where i have to party every night.  been there, done that - i’ve moved on.  i’ve met a lot of interesting people this year, really good ones too.  i was enchanted to meet you. =)

health & fitness.  this year has been about renewed commitment to health.  decided to visit a much-recommended longevity doctor who helped me shed 20+ lbs, keep it off and correct my hormonal imbalances.  i re-enrolled to the gym and even got a personal trainor and i’ve been working out 3x a week.  to quote a friend “balik alindog 2012” program is a smashing success.  call it a downside but i had to buy new office shirts and pants as all my work clothes wear loose now.  i look better.  i feel better.  awesome.

i finally decided to jump the longevity bandwagon and see a much-raved about longevity doctor last may.  it was the start of my taking charge of my health having ballooned to a whopping 200+lbs.  yes, i was a pig then - but not anymore.  it was pretty expensive but i have to say it was well worth it.  i’m down to about 180lbs and hopefully with the working out, i’ll drop down to about 165lbs.  my goal is to become leaner ergo y-u-m-m-i-e-r.  like an irresistible dessert.  ok, scratch that as i was just kidding.

plans.  finally during the latter part of the year, i’ve opened an account at COL to start playing around with stocks.  it has money already but i haven’t bought any stocks yet.  kinda preoccupied with work to start buying but will start this january.  small steps.  its one of my long-term investment plans.  hopefully in 2013, we find the perfect house in the perfect location.  God hasn’t showed us yet where this is but maybe 2013 is the right time for us to move.

travel.  while most of my “personal” travel plans got scrapped mostly ‘cause of work commitments, i did travel a lot for work.  it was exciting being in a foreign university with classmates of different nationalities and companies.  while i got stuck in birmingham and never got to visit london, i was in the united kingdom four times this year.  instant GOLD status at emirates.  i was in singapore multiple times and bangkok too.  while the family only went to panglao in bohol and pico de loro last summer, we’re going full throttle in 2013 with trips to singapore, maribago in cebu and misibis bay.  everything booked and fully paid for.  money spent on family is indeed money well spent - period.  i did manage to squeeze in a quick trip to cebu, an unplanned one at that just to spend time with friends.  it was a nice time away from work.

songs on heavy rotation:
enchanted by taylor swift
what you are by jewel
the man who can’t be moved by the script
its time by darren criss (from glee)
begin again / all too well by taylor swift

food finds:
fried peanut butter & grape jelly sandwich from Nolita
crispy shrimp caesar salad from Outback
wagyu bistek from Chef Laudico’s Bistro Filipino
quezo de bola cheesecake from Chef Laudico’s Bistro Filipino
green tea donut from J.Co Donuts
banana milk tea from Moonleaf
chocolate chip walnut pie from Banapple
binagoongang bagnet from Pamana

splurges:
technomarine watch
galaxy note 1
acer quad-core i5 desktop
adidas running shoes
a lotta lacoste shirts
longevity doctor
samsung 32” led tv
personal trainer at the gym
saltimbanco tickets for the family


2012 indeed had character.  it was complicated and beset with a lot of challenges, not one of which was insurmountable.  financially it was a great year.  workwise, i’ll know in march if it was a good one.  i’m blessed with a complete family, not a perfect one but still a family i call mine.  i am blessed with amazing friends, at work and outside, who genuinely cares for me.  there’s nothing to complain about really.  i’ve been blessed abundantly.  God is really good … all the time.  I can’t wait for 2013.

life | day 228 - pressure cooker

Work is really stressful lately and its really not that the problems and the projects are insurmountable but rather they’re just piling up pretty fast.  I thought it was high time I went old school and listed down all the stuff I had to work on in paper – seeing it in paper makes it less daunting because there’s something to cross out with the passing of the hours.  I should whip myself for letting procastination get the better of me but its too late for that now.  The whipping needs to come later.  All things considered, despite my seemingly well-put organizational skills, I do succumb to disarray from time to time.  Chaos could be fun when it happens but with all things, there’s really a price to pay.

The one good news in the days past is that I got another invitation to be a speaker at a supply chain conference in KL this October.  I think though it is quite premature to be sharing an ongoing project so while I relish the opportunity to be a speaker alongside supply chain professionals from prestigious companies, it would be a disservice to share something that is half-cooked.

 

I asked God for something this morning.  I don’t think I’m asking Him much.  Just some peace of mind.

 

Back to blogging.  I miss this, really.  To be able to write freely and express my thoughts feels liberating.

life | day 191 in 2010

the days really do seem to just breeze pass through this year.  half of the year is gone and the days have brought with it the inevitable change.  weather-wise, i'm sort of glad the drought is over but is anxious about the rainy season.  no one wants a repeat of ondoy or pepeng for that matter.  i've seen and been to the aftermath and it was heatbreaking.  hopefully, the rest of the year brings a much needed stability in everyone's lives.

work.  what can i say?  it really has been overwhelming.  you fix one problem, out pops the next one.  there's neverending things to do so i still try to take things in stride.  it is at times like these where (jowell's) "steady lang." becomes a lifeline.  it can get exhausting and stressful pretty fast and its not something you can get accustomed to.  social networking sites become more liability than a welcome distraction.  the latter of which something i really need more of these days.  proof that work is becoming stressful is that i'm back on caffeine.  i'm making starbuck's, figaro and coffee bean richer on a daily basis.

i can't wait to get back to some of the things i love most - like traveling.  i haven't done much of that this year - a couple of business trips to singapore and a lovely, relaxing trip to palawan.  to do the traveling thing however, i need to do two things - renew my expiring passport and my US visa.  sydney is going to have to wait, at least until january maybe.  i'm getting bad at planning stuff and its bumming me out.

next month's is my nephew's seventh birthday already.  he's now a living measure of how the years go by.  he's grown-up now and speaks more comfortably in english than in tagalog.  its a good thing he understands at least a bit of the local or else he is for sure going to flunk his pilipino subjects.  the one thing that hasn't changed with him is that he is still an endearingly sweet boy who gives endless hugs and kisses.

life still is a blessing.  still a lot to be thankful for.  its not perfect, but at least its mine.  and i'm living and breathing in it.

thirty six

sometimes i still can't believe i've been on this planet for more than thirty years, thirty six today.  its been one wild ride so far - rough and smooth roads filled with ups and downs.  in hindsight, those are the things that made life richer, more exciting and other times sweeter.  despite the passing of the years, i am quite thankful to be alive.

life is good.  i have been blessed beyond belief that saying thank you everyday seems never enough.  i have people i can call "friends" who i love dearly like family and who i know i can call on anytime and who will tell me straight up the things i wouldn't want to hear.  real friends are hard to come by but i surprisingly have plenty.

i have a career.  with people who are a joy to work with.  a job that pays the bills.  a job that affords me a comfortable life.  God has been gracious.

i have a family, though far from perfect, i can call my own.  i have a nephew, who greeted me "happy father's day", who showers me with kisses and hugs for no reason at all.  who answers "that you love me" whenever i ask him "i'm going to tell you something.  do you know what it is?"  priceless moments that make all the hard work meaningful.

thirty six years.  that's enough reason to celebrate.

ten

This song is dedicated to all of the people I know who are sharing their lives with a special someone.

From the upcoming album “Sweet & Wild” of Jewel who is one of my most favorite artist of all time.

The lyrics to this song is just amazingly simple but it says so much.  Here’s to OUR happiness.

 

Ten – Jewel

 

whoever said love is easy

must have never been in love

sometimes its a landmine

one wrong step and it blows up

a word, a look lights a hidden fuse

 

its hard to see just what you have when you're seeing red

and easy to do something that you know we'll both regret

better stop, think, count to ten before i leave

 

refrain:

one,

i still want to hate you

two, three

i still wanna leave

four

i'm searching for that door

five

then i look in your eyes

six

take a deep breath

seven

take a step back

eight, nine

i don't know why we even started this fight.

by the time i get to ten

i'm right back in your arms again

words thrown so calously like weapons when we fight

but when they cut too deep i wanna leave it all behind

i'd have to count to ten before i cross that line

refrain

 

you can lose what you're not thankful for

i don't want that to happen to you and me

better count my blessings

 

one,

you still move me

two, three

send chills right through me

four

you keep me wanting more

five

when i look in your eyes

six

you're my best friend

seven

that will never end

eight, nine

i don't know why but thank God it happens everytime

by the time i get to ten, by the time i get to ten

i can see how blessed i've been

 

i'd choose you all over again.

life | certainties

i've come to accept that death is the only certainty but knowing that doesn't make it any less difficult to accept.  last week was met with the passing of the in-law of one of my colleagues.  it was a short battle with the big C for him - and i don't know if that was good or bad. good because it meant he didn't have to suffer for long; bad because it meant he couldn't stay and be with his love ones longer.

last friday, i finally managed to spend time with a good friend.  she's been beset with her own family health problems - her mom in particular.  i thought when she shared the good news last time about the biopsy results being negative that her problems would soon be over.  i guess i was sadly mistaken.  i had tears listening to her.  i didn't mind being in a public place.  we tried to laugh to fend off the sadness.  i admire her.  this made her grow up in ways no other could.  its the same change i went through - being saddled with new responsibilities can make or break you.  in our case, we've grown up to accept ours and it feels like it made us better people in the process.  tm's mom is in the hospital and the prognosis isn't so good.  i know that in times like these, prayers do help.

i fear death.  not for myself because i think i've come to terms that we can go at anytime.  its my fear of losing any of the people i love that i can't deal with.  i pray everyday for their safety and for keeping us healthy among others.  i hope that that is good enough.

life | day 33 - losers & winners

people seem to be busy these days, me included.  there hasn't really been much time to go out the past couple of weeks except for two scheduled instances.  first when birthday boy hector managed to be in manila on the 25th to also visit our target recipients for share-a-smile year 3.  it was great to see hector again.  and to get to spend time with the kids is always a truly amazing experience.  we managed for the gang to squeeze in some downtime last saturday and like all instances of our get togethers, we had so much fun we forgot it was already 430am before we decided to call it a night (or day).  rating : loser

maybe there really is a time wherein you've given too much of yourself already.  that after some time, whatever you do seem meaningless.  i really thought you were different but i guess i was wrong.  big brother's right, it really is time to pack and move on.  rating : loser

while work still seem like a mountain of burden, i really think we've managed to move forward.  that things are starting to shape up and people are more open to changes.  there is still a lot of things to do and a lot more challenges coming.  work has been taxing lately but it remains pretty much interesting to-date.  rating :  winner

i'm excited much for the upcoming event of a good friend mj.  i think we've done a great job promoting it the past 2 1/2 weeks and we're nearing our target number of participants.  share-a-smile year 3 is also happening on the 28th of the month so this feels like double hurrah.  i also may have an upcoming shoot with a really good friend.  make that triple hurrah.  rating :  winner

one dream still hanging.  the other dream depends on how fast i can wrap up the proposal.  i'm trying to revamp the presentation which hopefully i can complete by tomorrow or the next.  c'mon .... i need it.  rating : in between

life | day 21 - the busy bee

at work.

work seems to have taken a life of its own at the start of the year.  i guess losing one headcount and not having a ready replacement is a bummer.  i am very happy though because my staff left for all the right reasons.  its a gift though that my team accepted the challenge of temporarily covering the vacated role - all of us divided the pie, some more than the others.  i don't see us filling the position until the end of february so the next couple of months is going to be taxing.  still a bunch of projects that needs closure and there are three more contracts i need to review.  kaya 'yan.

in photography.

still working on photos from the multiple shoots i did before 2009 ended.  first shoot for the year was with a young businessman from davao i met via model mayhem.  i'm much more comfortable shooting by myself now.  its always easier when the model is easy to work with and so far i have been lucky with all the models i've worked with.  hopefully there will be more shoots this 2010 because photography, while tiring sometimes, is one good thing that keeps my head off work.  not to mention that i meet a lot of great people along the way.

on friends.

i am thankful i have really great friends.  and not just the kind you say hello once in a while.  while there are indeed those who masquerade as something else, i know who are those really worth keeping.  no bitterness here.  no more wasting time on the unworthy. harharhar.

on love.

one word - playtime.

on dreams.

still working on it.  one feels like its happening soon.  the other is getting frustrating.  i'm giving it until the end of the month and then i'm going to have to decide whether to push through with it or not.

life | day 4 - first day back

it was something i've been sort of dreading except that i knew two weeks of vacation will just pass by like it never happened.  i enjoyed the two-week vacation because i got to rest (ok, probably not a lot of rest), spend time with family and friends.  i did 3 consecutive shoots in 3 different locations with different people.  it was fun, but now i'm backed-up in post-processing hell by 4 more people.

first day at work meant i would need to deal with the problems temporarily shelved over the holidays.  i somehow wished they would magically disappear over the two-weeks hoping that would be santa's gift but i guess i haven't been good enough to deserve some magic this christmas.  oh well, one can dream, right?  today was a bit stressful and i had to show some teeth in a telecon (ok, that was an analogy) because i wanted to put somebody in their proper place.  the intention was good except that it didn't sound like they thought of it lengthily to begin with.  its one of the things i hope will change in the future, for people to have well-thought of plans.  until then, i have to just ... errr .... smile but show them we're no pushovers.

sorry, marunong din ako mag-ingles. harharhar.

i decided, against everything my body was telling me, to jog/walk around highstreet tonight.  i swear i felt like my heart was going to explode while i was running.  it was a good 30mins of jogging and walking, no rests in between.  i think i just need to keep this up to slowly condition my body to the torture.  willpower, i choose you.

no dinner tonight.  water. water. water. oh i forgot, i had a banana.  if all of these reduced eating doesn't work, i'm sorry pero BELO na.  harharhar.

life | day 4 - first day back

it was something i've been sort of dreading except that i knew two weeks of vacation will just pass by like it never happened. i enjoyed the two-week vacation because i got to rest (ok, probably not a lot of rest), spend time with family and friends. i did 3 consecutive shoots in 3 different locations with different people. it was fun, but now i'm backed-up in post-processing hell by 4 more people.

first day at work meant i would need to deal with the problems temporarily shelved over the holidays. i somehow wished they would magically disappear over the two-weeks hoping that would be santa's gift but i guess i haven't been good enough to deserve some magic this christmas. oh well, one can dream, right? today was a bit stressful and i had to show some teeth in a telecon (ok, that was an analogy) because i wanted to put somebody in their proper place. the intention was good except that it didn't sound like they thought of it lengthily to begin with. its one of the things i hope will change in the future, for people to have well-thought of plans. until then, i have to just ... errr .... smile but show them we're no pushovers.

sorry, marunong din ako mag-ingles. harharhar.

i decided, against everything my body was telling me, to jog/walk around highstreet tonight. i swear i felt like my heart was going to explode while i was running. it was a good 30mins of jogging and walking, no rests in between. i think i just need to keep this up to slowly condition my body to the torture. willpower, i choose you.

no dinner tonight. water. water. water. oh i forgot, i had a banana. if all of these reduced eating doesn't work, i'm sorry pero BELO na. harharhar.

2009 | recap

2009 year has been a banner year - new work, new friends, deeper friendships, greater challenges, good decisions, bad decisions.  it was a good ... make that - a great year despite of the economic crisis, the A(H1N1) and the calamities.  its touch to remember everything that has happened but i'll take me back as far as i can remember.

photography.  i learned and grew a lot as a photographer this year - mostly through the patient guidance of more experienced photographer friends.  i also celebrated my first year in photography and i realized my inkling towards portraiture breaking the monotony with landscapes and travel photography.  i finally went on my first solo shoot and eventually found it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be to shoot solo.  this photography journey has taken me to a world i never realized i would vastly enjoy and while i have so much to learn still, i am happy that i have learned as much as i can in 2009 and hopefully everyone can enjoy the ride with me.

friends.  God has blessed me with an abundance of "real" friends.  i have been lucky to have met permanent friends from high school, college, bench and intel.  it sometimes is difficult to see everyone and go to all get togethers but i know you guys know "i try."  this year, i found new friends and deeper friendships even when i wasn't looking.  my photography family has been instrumental in my growth as a photographer.  i found true friends yet again.

career.  yes, i finally exited from a company i've been with for the last eleven plus years.  i've learned so much from intel and i have no regrets whatsoever from leaving it behind.  God has provided me with a job as quickly as i could have hoped for.  a great new and challenging job.  i gotta feeling that the road ahead is going to be an exciting one.  2010 is gonna be "get richer" year.

family.  so far so good.  my nephew is six and next year, he's gonna celebrate his seventh.  its gonna be swell, i'll make sure of that.  he's grown up so much that pretty soon he's not going to be our baby anymore.  he's enjoying going to school in don bosco where i graduated so its all good.

fitness.  what the hell is that? hahaha ok, for the nth time, i'm gonna go take care of this in 2010.  Yummy is the goal in 2010.  Yummy.  Yummy.  Yummy.

plans.  there's going to be a lot lot of changes in 2010.  no sense pre-empting it so they're going to be part of my blog entries as they happen.

travel.  ilocos.  thailand.  cambodia.  vietnam.  nothing much to say except - FUN!  next year, sydney baby! yahoo!

social life.  this i gotta say - "whew.  i can barely keep up."

i'm looking forward to 2010 because i get the feeling its going to be a BIG year.  its going to be great and its making me super excited.  God has been eternally good.  

Thank you 2009 for a wonderful year.

2009 | recap

2009 year has been a banner year - new work, new friends, deeper friendships, greater challenges, good decisions, bad decisions. it was a good ... make that - a great year despite of the economic crisis, the A(H1N1) and the calamities. its touch to remember everything that has happened but i'll take me back as far as i can remember.

photography. i learned and grew a lot as a photographer this year - mostly through the patient guidance of more experienced photographer friends. i also celebrated my first year in photography and i realized my inkling towards portraiture breaking the monotony with landscapes and travel photography. i finally went on my first solo shoot and eventually found it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be to shoot solo. this photography journey has taken me to a world i never realized i would vastly enjoy and while i have so much to learn still, i am happy that i have learned as much as i can in 2009 and hopefully everyone can enjoy the ride with me.

friends. God has blessed me with an abundance of "real" friends. i have been lucky to have met permanent friends from high school, college, bench and intel. it sometimes is difficult to see everyone and go to all get togethers but i know you guys know "i try." this year, i found new friends and deeper friendships even when i wasn't looking. my photography family has been instrumental in my growth as a photographer. i found true friends yet again.

career. yes, i finally exited from a company i've been with for the last eleven plus years. i've learned so much from intel and i have no regrets whatsoever from leaving it behind. God has provided me with a job as quickly as i could have hoped for. a great new and challenging job. i gotta feeling that the road ahead is going to be an exciting one. 2010 is gonna be "get richer" year.

family. so far so good. my nephew is six and next year, he's gonna celebrate his seventh. its gonna be swell, i'll make sure of that. he's grown up so much that pretty soon he's not going to be our baby anymore. he's enjoying going to school in don bosco where i graduated so its all good.

fitness. what the hell is that? hahaha ok, for the nth time, i'm gonna go take care of this in 2010. Yummy is the goal in 2010. Yummy. Yummy. Yummy.

plans. there's going to be a lot lot of changes in 2010. no sense pre-empting it so they're going to be part of my blog entries as they happen.

travel. ilocos. thailand. cambodia. vietnam. nothing much to say except - FUN! next year, sydney baby! yahoo!

social life. this i gotta say - "whew. i can barely keep up."

i'm looking forward to 2010 because i get the feeling its going to be a BIG year. its going to be great and its making me super excited. God has been eternally good.

Thank you 2009 for a wonderful year.

life | spontaneous

i think those unplanned, spur of the moment gimiks are the funnest.  no nothing.  just meet up and see where the road takes you.  in this case, a late afternoon call and me living up to being "kaladkarin" saying "yes" without a thought.  it really is what makes for great adventures.

somebody says tagaytay, nobody say no.  we're used to where that is having worked adjacent to it for x number of years it feels like its just a stone's throw away.  great thing about the road trip is that yance's driving (miss nya daw mag-drive e) so ali and i just sit back & relax.  jowell drive's in a pump-no pump gas (i bet ano yang iniisip nyo hahaha) motion its giving me a headache.  ali and i make fun of him and we laugh our hearts out.  they keep talking about BNO and jowell mimics this radio dj, and i sit their laughing at his antics wondering wtf he is talking about.  i make a mental note to check out the radio 6-10pm monday to thursday.  not really a radio fan these days cause all the yakking is annoying.

we were starving when we reached buon giorno at cliffhouse and the place is packed.  it was 930pm already and it the breeze was pretty cold.  you gotta love this kind of weather this time of the year.  2 pizzas and 2 pastas and we were stuffed.  it was a miracle to have eaten so much all the while laughing as we made fun and reminisced about a lot of things.  nothing beats great conversations with friends.  its one of the things we've been good at - picking where we left off.  like it was just yesterday that we were together.

its amazing how many people there are in tagaytay.  i think everyone is taking the opportunity to have a reprieve from the busy city life.  cool weather really a bonus.  we decide to settle for starbuck's down at paseo de sta rosa which is closer a drive for trixy (and R).  adding trixy to the mix creates a different round of comedic stories.  we laugh like we were the only people at starbuck's and we don't care.  i realize we had our moments, our stories back at our intel days.  it was a different kind of fun back then.  and while we've settled to meeting different people now that we've journeyed to different paths, we retain the friendship and it feels like its something that is lasting.

*not gonna take the time to re-read anymore.  my thoughts are scattered.  i'm lacking sleep.

life | relief & simplicity

the trip to the ENT finally ended my breathing problem.  nasal polyps gone.  it wasn't a pleasant procedure but i'm still glad i had it because i swear i can breathe so much better now.  the downside of it is that he put me on prednisone (a corticosteroid) for the next three weeks.  the stuff that can make you fat which incidentally defeats the purpose of the fat burner i'm taking.  the other downside is that i have to stop using the fat burner because it'll be too much for my poor liver to handle.  prednisone also cause muscle pain, which explains why my legs have been a pain since last night.  bummer.  at least i can breathe much better.

when i went home last night, i saw kids playing in the streets.  i chuckled when i saw one little girl on a makeshift crutch who shouted "darna" and like the filipino superhero, dislodged the crutch and flew off.  they were playing heroes and villains.  kids.  how simple and uncomplicated life is to them - detached from the spoils and the harsh realities of life.  its the one thing i miss being a kid - having simple joys with even the make-believe games.  being a grown-up subjects you to more ups and downs imaginable - rollecoaster ride talaga.  no matter how much you try to be mr. brightside, there will always be times when its too much.  life isn't simple anymore, its a complicated mess.

life | complications

life indeed has a way of making things more exciting.

one member of the team sent a letter of resignation this morning.  all reasons valid - promotion, office location.  no reason to get in the way of someone else's dreams.  i said congratulations of course.  the timing sucks though because its yearend and it'd be a miracle to find a replacement in a month's time.  i need to figure this out ... now. uhmm ok, maybe tomorrow cause my brain at this hour feels like jell-o.

in one meeting with a long-time supplier about a previous transaction, things got a bit heated (at least from his side) when he got emotional.  he was interpreting all that i was saying in all the wrong ways - older that he was, i was also in a position of power so i had to reaffirm that.  being emotionless is helpful - easier to think, no words to take back.  gotta love self-control.

people at the office wants me to host this year's christmas party.  good grief.  are they serious?  do they really know what they're getting themselves into?  i warned them.  hahaha

taking the day off today to go back to my ENT.  so i think junior checked me up the first, then a reliever the second and senior the third time.  senior says he can do the nasal polypecty (?) at the clinic, no need for an OR.  hurrah to that i guess.  its an outpatient procedure so i'm up and about right after ... hopefully, cause i have to drive myself in & out of the hospital.

fun times.  merits a charlie chan chicken pasta. yumness.

life | letting go

events of the past few days made me feel like i'm riding a rollercoaster again.  its an emotional thrill and yet one that gets me spiraling between happy and sad.  one of the drawbacks of being an OC is that i tend to obsessively overanalyze things - even the mundane ones.  you don't realize it yet but you know you have to starting walking away.  i'm thankful that i have friends who bear with the constant whining, the same-old-stories and the drama.  having "real" friends is a blessing.  it helps get you through the day.

after 7 years of being a member, i finally decided to cancel my gym membership.  it did became a habit at some point but life gets in the way (or so that's my excuse) and i found excuses not to go.  kakapagod e (ROFL!).  seriously, i have a plan.  i always have a plan B except that i haven't put it into motion yet.  the good news at least for now is that i get 24K more money in 2010 (uhmm, make that 22K cause of some stupid rule).  that's one additional travel for me! yay!

its mom's bday today.  i think she's hitting the big 7-0.  one thing i am very thankful for is that at this age, mom is still very much active and strong.  i pray everyday for health and safety of my family.  i'm thankful for having a responsible mom, despite being overbearing sometimes, has single-handedly raised us.  having a dead-beat dad (there i said it) probably helped make me a better person (silver lining! LOL!).  family = not perfect.  i've dealt with it a long time ago.

all things considered, life is great.  now if only i could have you, life would be perfect.  maybe.

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life | in the fast lane

so i can't remember the last time i wrote something, and its not because of a lack of things to say.  there are plenty but i guess i have been feeling a bit lazy putting things into words.  christmas is literally around the corner i wonder where did the time go?  i haven't done any christmas shopping yet and its going to be rush rush again this year.  boohoo.

work has been quite steady.  there's occasionally some hiccups but they remain manageable.  the best thing about december workwise are the bonuses.  the added moolah makes you feel doubly rich and you have an opportunity to buy something you've been eyeing for ... say the last few days.  it takes a lot of self-control not to just go and burn those hard-earned moolah one time.  incidentally, a friend decided to sell his old cam and upgrade to a new one.  he was feeling a bit guilty about it because it sort of wiped out his bonus.  but you could see how excited and HAPPY we was holding his new cam.  how could that be bad?  we do need some self-indulgence from time to time.  and its not as if this purchase is going to go to waste, it is an investment.  in his hands, can definitely turn into gold.  wise move if i may say so.

been spending a lot of time with friends lately.  social life is at an all-time high.  i'm gonna have to keep up with the vitamins and figure out how to get better sleep.  the zombie look isn't really working for me well.  LOL.  had dinner at this place called SALA the other night.  food was quite good.  would have gone well with a glass of red but had to settle for red grape juice.  feasted on a box of royce's au lait as well.  those things are worth every peso i paid for.  chinese dinner last saturday at zongs - one dish - hot prawn salad.  major yum.  =)

going back to the doc (again) for another follow-up but from last i get the feeling he's going to tell me i need the minor surgery thing.  bummer.

photography.  i think i may have found a way to make money from it.  i need to beef up my portfolio for it first.  but we'll see if i can squeeze it my already busy busy life.

2010 still looks promising.  a change is coming.

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life | time out

it feels good to be out of the metro for a change.  its one of the things i miss working in the faraway land of cavite - the absence of the rush of city life.  i should slap myself for saying that but really, intoxicating as it is, it gets overwhelming sometimes.  still the traffic and busy-ness is much better in mckinley hill versus that of the heart of makati - so i'm thankful for that already.

at least for the next three days (today included), this team building/training offers a brief respite from the city.  and the holiday inn @ clark is quite lovely.  flat screen tv, fancy beddings, free food - nothing really to complain about.  feels like i'm living by myself already - perhaps a prelude to life in 2010 and beyond.  got my mac in tow and a surprisingly reliable globe tatoo to keep me connected.  i'm all good.

its going to be december next week.  christmas is here before we know it.  mom's turning 70 next month and i don't know where we should celebrate her birthday.  i want to be able to treat her to somewhere fancier than usual.

despite everything, life is good.

missin' somebody much though.