i like going to Church alone because not having distractions (to be tempted to talk to someone, etc) helps me focus my attention on what the priest is saying. you see, i actually have a very short attention span, my mind just wanders off from one thing to another. Hearing mass and trying to stay still for an hour and a half can make you restless but more attuned to the people around you. You notice familiar faces - like this guy i realized looked familiar because he was from the same high school except he was two years older. I realized, after being away for so long, that filipinos are still inherently religious. there's still a lot of church goers - singles, committed, courting, families. looking at them, i couldn't help but think of what life would be like if had a family of my own - some one to go to Church with, kids to play with. it would have been nice to live in the mainstream. i realized though that if i had that life then it would have been really hard to take care of my other family. i would probably need two jobs to support my nephew (lol). it dawned on me that that which i can't have i actually already have. i have my nephew. i have my not-perfect-at-all family. so things kind of works out. i guess the only thing missing right now is having someone - your last call for the day. but maybe that's not for everyone, so i am not holding my breath.
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