it really is good news - that life has been kind of smooth sailing of late. it feels a bit uninteresting that i can't find anything to write about. there's not a lot of melodrama akin to what life was a few months back. the paranoid in me wonders if this is a sort-of calm before the storm but the better, more optimistic side of me believes its a welcome reprieve. there's something unnerving on knowing exactly where you are right now. the certainty is a joy-killer. life seems to be at a standstill. in more ways, i should be happy that there isn't really a lot to think about these days. everything seems to be flowing in a constant rhythm ... and i can never get used to living such a boring life. i'd hate to think i am a masochist but there is something about uncertainty that makes you look forward to it. i'm sure i won't go around searching for the next big rock to bash my head with but maybe i am not really seeing things as i should. maybe the calm is an opportunity to do something different - to read about photography, of lightroom, of photoshop and whatever's handy to learn. maybe this time is a time of reflection - to ponder on what needs pondering. i should try to think more about the future, put some plans in place. it probably would be nice to move to oz at the urging of some of my good friends and i'm tempted to. whoever said we always have choices was right, we always have - except some choices were never really options to begin with. i wish i could be a little more selfish but my head's not wired that way. so i have to rethink of a way to have the life i could have had given my new circumstances.
maybe life right now is bit boring - and i realize, boring isn't necessarily bad. at least for the time being.
April 23, 2008
April 20, 2008
a reminder of sorts
i agreed to attend pilates with juli yesterday at the fitness first branch in southmall and while i was driving, i realized that i didn't have my wallet with me. i had no money, credit card, driver's license not even my fitness first card. i didn't want to go back to the house for two reasons - one, is that i will be late for the pilates class; and two, i had driven already a good distance from our house and driving the rest wasn't that risky (i am such a model citizen, lol!). i fortunately had my company ID at the car so that sort of takes care of my access to the gym but i still didn't have any money. i thought walking around the mall with my gym clothes on was already funny, but being in a mall without any money was probably worst.
fortunately i managed to borrow some money from allan when he joined us at the gym later because juli & i decided to grab a bite to eat. its been a long time since i was faced with buying food on a strict budget - that's what having work affords you, the ability to just order what you want and sort out how much it cost later. it reminded me of life back in college when i had to budget everything from my allowance. life on a budget can be hard. i wasn't one of those rich la salle kids who had hefty allowances but we weren't poor either. i think having to add up in my head what i wanted to order so i don't overspend was a reminder that we don't have unlimited resources (i'm talking about money here). and its wise to keep that in mind. so far i've been extremely good at keeping my credit cards in order but i haven't been that strict in terms of spending within a budget. that little incident maybe is a reminder to start now.
fortunately i managed to borrow some money from allan when he joined us at the gym later because juli & i decided to grab a bite to eat. its been a long time since i was faced with buying food on a strict budget - that's what having work affords you, the ability to just order what you want and sort out how much it cost later. it reminded me of life back in college when i had to budget everything from my allowance. life on a budget can be hard. i wasn't one of those rich la salle kids who had hefty allowances but we weren't poor either. i think having to add up in my head what i wanted to order so i don't overspend was a reminder that we don't have unlimited resources (i'm talking about money here). and its wise to keep that in mind. so far i've been extremely good at keeping my credit cards in order but i haven't been that strict in terms of spending within a budget. that little incident maybe is a reminder to start now.
April 17, 2008
graduation's almost here
the graduation march is next saturday already. after three and a half years, this chapter of my life is finally coming to a close. i can finally say that i have a Master of Business Administration major in Supply Chain Management degree! Lupit di ba? Will this open new doors for me? I hope so - i think for the most part, job hunting is 50% luck/timing and 50% credentials. i've always believed that timing is the key to everything.
back in college, the idea of the graduation ceremony wasn't too appealing at first. and initially, i decided to go through it for mom's sake. when i got there, i'd have to say i was happy to see my friends and my classmates and realized that the graduation is an important milestone. while college was indeed a rite of passage, graduation marks our entry into the real world. this may not be true for those who have had to shoulder responsibilities at an early age but for most of us, it was the beginning of responsibilities and problems, problems and more problems.
next saturday, i am once again going into that same ritual - this time around mostly with people i haven't really known long. i am fortunate that i'm marching along with some people i've developed real friendships with and that is what's going to make this event memorable. yeah, school's over. "no more teachers, no more books. no more teachers, dirty looks."
back in college, the idea of the graduation ceremony wasn't too appealing at first. and initially, i decided to go through it for mom's sake. when i got there, i'd have to say i was happy to see my friends and my classmates and realized that the graduation is an important milestone. while college was indeed a rite of passage, graduation marks our entry into the real world. this may not be true for those who have had to shoulder responsibilities at an early age but for most of us, it was the beginning of responsibilities and problems, problems and more problems.
next saturday, i am once again going into that same ritual - this time around mostly with people i haven't really known long. i am fortunate that i'm marching along with some people i've developed real friendships with and that is what's going to make this event memorable. yeah, school's over. "no more teachers, no more books. no more teachers, dirty looks."
April 16, 2008
metamorphosis
having taken the reins of providing for the family for quite some time now (my sister, thank God and your prayers, is healthy enough to go back to work - not full-time, but somewhat part-time as a consultant for her previous employer), not only are my priorities changing but i'm actually enjoying some of the household responsibilities. is this the end of my social life as i know it? one of the things i always look forward to is going to the grocery, pass through all the aisles and dump a mixture of needs & wants into a very accommodating cart. there's just something about going to the grocery that's fun for me - specially the realization that i am fortunate to be able to provide this much to the family. doing grocery, mind you, employs a lot of skill - planning, budgeting, memorizing, cost-benefit analysis and not to mention the physical exercise you get from walking and carrying the bags. blame it on the engineer in me for over-analyzing. i having done this for a while, i've become more price-conscious and aware which is a great thing. its like this habit i've developed of checking all of the gas prices at every gas station i come across when driving - like i can tell that gas here in paranaque is 10 cents cheaper than the gas being sold near the big blue. i'm amazed by my own obsessive-compulsiveness.
while this is not a review, i'd have to say that S&R is such a great place to go grocery shopping. they have an awesome selection of meat, frozen goods and some of the stuff i used to buy at Costco when i was in the US. I've even seen them selling Nyquil which i think is one of the best meds to take during a cold bout. South Supermarket is also one of the better groceries because they have a great seafood section (don't like their meat section that much) and vegetables too. plying various supermarkets helps you know which place is best for what. the only thing i hate when going to the grocery is that it sort of puts a big dent in my credit card but i guess it can't be helped. we need to eat.
being grocery-trained and price conscious i guess helps support any culinary aspirations i have right now. this is the problem, i have too many areas i want to explore and not really know which to do first. culinary, photography, business? its even hard to fit gym time in there because my nephew has football camp wednesdays and fridays. i am so doing double-duty right now. its still fun though - having to do something different than the rest. for one, i'm no longer thinking about myself. and that is cause for hurrah!
while this is not a review, i'd have to say that S&R is such a great place to go grocery shopping. they have an awesome selection of meat, frozen goods and some of the stuff i used to buy at Costco when i was in the US. I've even seen them selling Nyquil which i think is one of the best meds to take during a cold bout. South Supermarket is also one of the better groceries because they have a great seafood section (don't like their meat section that much) and vegetables too. plying various supermarkets helps you know which place is best for what. the only thing i hate when going to the grocery is that it sort of puts a big dent in my credit card but i guess it can't be helped. we need to eat.
being grocery-trained and price conscious i guess helps support any culinary aspirations i have right now. this is the problem, i have too many areas i want to explore and not really know which to do first. culinary, photography, business? its even hard to fit gym time in there because my nephew has football camp wednesdays and fridays. i am so doing double-duty right now. its still fun though - having to do something different than the rest. for one, i'm no longer thinking about myself. and that is cause for hurrah!
April 07, 2008
mac is back
the good news is that i finally got mac back - hmmm "mac" isn't such a bad name. i am going to start calling my macbook "mac" from now on. the good news is that mac seems healthy so far and i am using him as i write this post.
so yeah, i'm back being an part-time apple user. i have to admit though that my fascination with mac hasn't waned since i got him. now that he's back in top shape and i need to do two wedding AVPs, its a great opportunity to practice using mac.
so yeah, i'm back being an part-time apple user. i have to admit though that my fascination with mac hasn't waned since i got him. now that he's back in top shape and i need to do two wedding AVPs, its a great opportunity to practice using mac.
sleep overs
having decided that going on an out of town trip was badly needed despite the short notice, we all agreed that it was easier to sleep over ali's house friday night. the plans originally was for us to drive to zambales really early in the morning of saturday but friday night, we were having second thoughts about going and was trying to figure out if we could find an alternative place at the eve of a long weekend. we decided to stop looking around midnight when we ended up empty handed with all the places we were trying to check-out. we we're just going to think about the "where" in the morning.
we ended up drinking a bottle of bailey's - the minty kind. allan, juli, arlene, ali and myself talked about the recent announcement of the big blue including our sentiments about it and the future. the idea of unemployment in a way scares us because we have responsibilities and its easier to talk about it flustered with alcohol. its also exciting in a way because it opens up to new opportunities and creates a fresh start. the sleep over was timely in a way and its easy to talk to these people because we've been friends for quite some time and they already know the whole story so there's no need for more background. times like these, its comforting to be with friends. i really miss those "kapihan" sessions we used to have, whether those that we had at starbux in tagaytay or those cheap "nescafe's". we've shared a lot of things back when almost everyone hanged out at the "yosihan" area. a lot of things and feelings are poured over at that area - and while most of us quit already (me included, two years now) - those times were a great pick-me-up.
i feel lucky that despite having different jobs now, most of us still find time to hang-out. we're still connected more than ever and its a relief that our relationships have developed into a lifelong bond. i hope that when rlin eventually moves to the US when she gets married or when juli finally settles in malaysia or singapore or when allan moves to oz, we are still going to keep in touch. on the other hand, i should keep in touch to get some free board & lodging and tour guides when i visit those countries.
we ended up drinking a bottle of bailey's - the minty kind. allan, juli, arlene, ali and myself talked about the recent announcement of the big blue including our sentiments about it and the future. the idea of unemployment in a way scares us because we have responsibilities and its easier to talk about it flustered with alcohol. its also exciting in a way because it opens up to new opportunities and creates a fresh start. the sleep over was timely in a way and its easy to talk to these people because we've been friends for quite some time and they already know the whole story so there's no need for more background. times like these, its comforting to be with friends. i really miss those "kapihan" sessions we used to have, whether those that we had at starbux in tagaytay or those cheap "nescafe's". we've shared a lot of things back when almost everyone hanged out at the "yosihan" area. a lot of things and feelings are poured over at that area - and while most of us quit already (me included, two years now) - those times were a great pick-me-up.
i feel lucky that despite having different jobs now, most of us still find time to hang-out. we're still connected more than ever and its a relief that our relationships have developed into a lifelong bond. i hope that when rlin eventually moves to the US when she gets married or when juli finally settles in malaysia or singapore or when allan moves to oz, we are still going to keep in touch. on the other hand, i should keep in touch to get some free board & lodging and tour guides when i visit those countries.
April 02, 2008
the beginning of the end
there's something about today that seemed off - everybody seemed giddy and you can hear the mutterings of people as they pass by. a lot have speculations about the announcement this afternoon - some may deny it but it has been news that has been floating around for a while ... hmmm, like for the past 1.5-2 years (lol!). surprisingly, there was free meals at the cafe today - not that i needed it since i sort of have an abundance of meal stubs. but its free, and i'm filipino - and we should never refuse grace when it hits you in the face. in hindsight, it seemed like feeding the people was timed maybe to soften the blow.
at 2pm, it was announced - the Big Blue is closing --- in 6 to 9 months. i think the timing was what hit the people like a brick wall. We knew it was coming but we didn't know it was that soon. in a way, for those tenured, the "enhanced" separation package is very attractive. i, who has been scouting for other opportunities, sees this as an additional blessing. it was very emotional during the q&a, some broke down and others asked direct, poignant questions. from my point of view, the real reason is politics and eversince i felt that that "somebody" never really liked the site. he said it was performance last time, and now they say the building is no longer viable structurally in the long term. for a company that prides itself on being strategic, that line of reasoning doesn't make sense. listening to the questions, i felt a pang of guilt that i was looking forward to this news. i wanted a confirmation so i can start to move on but others would have preferred never to hear this kind of news.
from what was shown, for my tenure, the package isn't bad. but money doesn't last a long time and it would be a gift to find a job as soon as the package is available (God willing!). in more ways, God has been very gracious - maybe the reason i haven't heard back from the companies i am applying for is because i needed to wait for this package. i get a bit anxious at the prospect of not having work, having been employed for the last 12 years. life would be easier if i had to think about myself only - but there are 4 people i need to feed and thank God my sister is working again.
the news is going to hit the others hard. i can tell because everyone looked teary-eyed leaving the room. for most, it is really the beginning of the end. hopefully for most, there's a new beginning that awaits.
at 2pm, it was announced - the Big Blue is closing --- in 6 to 9 months. i think the timing was what hit the people like a brick wall. We knew it was coming but we didn't know it was that soon. in a way, for those tenured, the "enhanced" separation package is very attractive. i, who has been scouting for other opportunities, sees this as an additional blessing. it was very emotional during the q&a, some broke down and others asked direct, poignant questions. from my point of view, the real reason is politics and eversince i felt that that "somebody" never really liked the site. he said it was performance last time, and now they say the building is no longer viable structurally in the long term. for a company that prides itself on being strategic, that line of reasoning doesn't make sense. listening to the questions, i felt a pang of guilt that i was looking forward to this news. i wanted a confirmation so i can start to move on but others would have preferred never to hear this kind of news.
from what was shown, for my tenure, the package isn't bad. but money doesn't last a long time and it would be a gift to find a job as soon as the package is available (God willing!). in more ways, God has been very gracious - maybe the reason i haven't heard back from the companies i am applying for is because i needed to wait for this package. i get a bit anxious at the prospect of not having work, having been employed for the last 12 years. life would be easier if i had to think about myself only - but there are 4 people i need to feed and thank God my sister is working again.
the news is going to hit the others hard. i can tell because everyone looked teary-eyed leaving the room. for most, it is really the beginning of the end. hopefully for most, there's a new beginning that awaits.
April 01, 2008
what lies on the horizon
there's going to be an announcement tomorrow - about what is anybody's guess. the invitation says its about the roadmap - something which we know for a long time there doesn't seem to be any. maybe its what most have been waiting for, that finally the journey with which the big blue embarked on 30+ years ago is finally coming to a close. is this what we all have been praying for? maybe through God's eternal goodness, the stars will align and i'd find a new career and get a good package. everybody is anxious and hopefully whatever the news is, its good news.
crazy thing called love
watching "love affair" made me remember how nice it would be to have someone to love, to have a last call for the day and to just have a hand to hold with when life seems so overbearing. i watched "love affair" only because it came into one of the conversations while driving to la luz a few weeks back. i cried watching the last scene of "love affair" making me re-affirm that i am indeed a sucker for happy endings.
maybe someday it would be nice to find someone who i can share life with but i've come to terms with being alone at least for the time being. not everyone finds their fish in the sea, much less end up with their meant-to-be. i, right now, settle for the life i have - its not perfect but there are still a lot to be thankful for. a few sundays ago, i finally realized what true love is while attending church - true love is what i feel as i carried my sleepy nephew in my arms. as his arms draped around my shoulders, i realized how much i love this little kid - that i would do everything for him. if i will be able to feel like that again on somebody, then i would know how to be in love again. but right now, i am settling for what and who i have because i gave up already trying to find the right one.
maybe someday it would be nice to find someone who i can share life with but i've come to terms with being alone at least for the time being. not everyone finds their fish in the sea, much less end up with their meant-to-be. i, right now, settle for the life i have - its not perfect but there are still a lot to be thankful for. a few sundays ago, i finally realized what true love is while attending church - true love is what i feel as i carried my sleepy nephew in my arms. as his arms draped around my shoulders, i realized how much i love this little kid - that i would do everything for him. if i will be able to feel like that again on somebody, then i would know how to be in love again. but right now, i am settling for what and who i have because i gave up already trying to find the right one.
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