the thing i hate the most about myself is that i'm susceptible to procastinating. sometimes i try to rationalize it by telling myself that i'm doing it to put pressure on my otherwise dull work requirements. so while i do work very well under pressure and sky-high stress levels, that is still just a lame excuse and i should get myself whipped for wasting valuable time. yeah, i can get real lazy when i want to and realizing that sucks. its surprising however that i can accomplish a lot of things when i really want to - like yesterday and today, i managed to actually be very productive. i finished two projects on-time, even learned to edit excel macros manually (its not that complicated really!) and edit the formulas for an excel enhancement for another project. i really deserve a pat on the back for that (lol!).
the reason for this sudden reflection is the realization about how many more things i would have accomplished if i really made the effort to budget my time well. i've set my sights on a lot of things but i get the feeling i've squandered a lot of hours doing things that brought leisure and contentment but didn't really move me closer towards my goals. i've really taken "live life a little" to the extremes. realizing this now may be perfect timing. after all, i'll be another year older this month and with age should come wisdom. i need to get my life organized - make real the promises i made to myself. make myself hungry once again to learn, to take control and be where and who i want to be.
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