Seven things to do before you turn 30

by Alice Sevilla Mendoza
(Lifestyle, Philippine Daily Inquirer - March 1, 1996)

Note : I caught this article by accident back in 1996 as i was scrounging to some old folders. I think it was one of my mom's newspaper cutouts and this article was something that stuck on my head. While i am past the age of 30, i think the advice here still applies and i am sharing this to my friends because i think this is a must-read. It is kinda long but i am re-printing it here without any edits even if some of the mentions here are no longer updated.

Turning 30 is not a rite of anguish anymore; realizing what one hasn’t done the past three decades is. The sister of a good friend was once agitating on how to bring her man to the altar. They shared the house in South, San Francisco, the furniture, the parakeets. They went dutch along the way, down to grocery and phone bills, “so I can have a say.”
It was a relationship more democratic than the presidential primaries. At 29 the lady had practically everything she desired. She was pretty, intelligent and popular. She had a successful job as a credit analyst. Although not wealthy she led a comfortable life with no major financial problems. She had the say in household matters that was so precious to her.

What marred the happiness was the one thing she didn’t have a say on: the wedding ring. “I better get that before the big 3-0, otherwise I’m off.” she threatened. Happily enough for her they did get married. And the wedding costs were split down the middle; having a say was important even when she became this man’s wife. This isn’t a new story. Everyone has her little tales of long-suffering females who swore to leave when they felt their biological clock ticking.
What is interesting is why the ticking begins to take on the ominous timber of a time bomb the closer you get to 30, or why there was ever a deadline in the first place.

Times have undoubtedly changed. Thirty isn’t seen as the first stage of leprosy anymore. Some of the silver screen’s most alluring and bankable starts are not nubile young nymphets. Demi Moore is 32, Sharon Stone 38, Kim Basinger is hitting 40. All these women are considered to be in their prime, both physically and professionally.

Turning 30 represents a chance to right the wrongs, settle scores, start fresh. It is a time to build on past successes while creating new ones. Undoubtedly it is also a first hard look at mortality, and the wise know this glimpse is a privileged one. After the banalities of the last decade, the focus now is in getting the best out of the years to come.

The Observer says Madame Jeanne Calment never had a job, drank a glass of port a day, and smoked until she was a mere 116. On turning 121, she has recorded a compact disc of rap music. Her doctors aren’t sure how she outlived everyone, but Mme. Calment has her own answer: “I’ve always kept smiling and that’s how I’m going to continue. I make the most of everything while I can. By the way, have I got any presents yet? I wouldn’t mind another bottle of perfume.”

The following may not be applicable to everyone in making the most of it, but among those asked who were on the cusp of 30 these are the things they wished they’ve done sooner:

Travel. We don’t mean Hong Kong, although it is a pretty fascinating city. Most young people should have the opportunity to see that the world is bigger than Megamall. If you are lucky enough to be sponsored in making a big trip to the US or Europe, treat it as a learning experience, not just a great opportunity to buy Bass loafers on discount.
There is always a hunger in us to go where we’ve never been, and in your 30s travel opportunities that aren’t business trips or vacations that cost your entire Christmas bonus, are as rare as that taxi driver who returned US$70,000 to that idiotic passenger.

It’s a cliché but true: travel makes history come alive, and opens up the mind to countless new experiences. Make sure you can learn from it while you can.

Buy life insurance. It’s a fact of life that the young think they’re bulletproof. In your 20s life insurance is seen as cumbersome, morbid and not worth paying. Insurance agents on the other hand are weasels, vultures and vermin that don’t have enough rocks to crawl under. The reality is, accidents happen. Buses ram into cars. Planes crash. Boats sink. Anything can happen, and its too late to sort out a potential financial mess when your family and relatives are in mourning.

The news is the earlier you start shelling out on life insurance which you need anyway, the lower the premiums you pay. Life insurance plans also have cash values that accumulate through the years aside from life and death benefits. Unlike automatic teller machines which are an extension of your pocket and spell death for savings accounts, insurance policies can’t be frittered away by withdrawals but entitle you to a neat sum if you do decide to cash in your policy at the end of the specified number of years.

Of course that preceding explanation was simplified for those who hate the subject, but let an expert tell you more. This is not a pitch for insurance companies, but if you’d only stop blowing off that agent you’d find out what you can get out of life insurance, namely peace of mind.

Get fit. At 20 losing five pounds is like sneezing. There’s hardly any effort involved. At 30 just budging the ripples of fat on your thighs would involve a crane and forklift. Of course that’s exaggerating but you get the picture.

Generally the younger you are, the easier it is to reach and maintain optimum fitness. Getting into the habit early on primes and conditions your body so that by 30, at a time when couch potatoes start discovering mysterious aches and pains, you’re in the pink of health.

It always happens that you bump into former schoolmates and are thunderstruck by their massive weight gain. The youngest looking members in a class reunion are always the sporty one’s who’ve remained athletic throughout their lives.

Start living healthier sooner, and the benefits will remain with you Longer. Corollary to this the sooner you take care of your skin the more you’ll appreciate the effort you made earlier on. Being Asian, you’ll have crows feet and wrinkles much later, but why wait? Start on the moisturizer.

Save or invest money. This had to crop up sooner but the intention was there not to turn you off too soon. You can tell the thirtysomethings in a party since they’re huddled in the kitchen talking about the condos they’ve just taken out a loan on. Meanwhile the twenteens are chafing to get to Zu.

Savings is rarely a priority in your 20s. Shopping is. There are many bright young things out there with Prada bags, Maxmara suits and debts that, as Nick Lessor did, are shoved into a drawer in the hope they would evaporate. Around 30 or thereabouts, the shopping plateau hits. There are Life changes: a shift in careers, a marriage, a baby. When that happens, most rue the day they spend their last dollars on yet another pair of black pumps when they had 40 identical ones gathering dust in their closets.

There are many regrets since that money could have been put to better use. Follow your mother’s advice and pay yourself first every payday by deducting a percentage that gets debited straight into an account you can’t touch. Not doing without it will train you to live on what’s left.

Keep an eye out for investing in the future when your stash reaches a certain amount. There are many ways to make that money grow – a good broker or fund manager can introduce you to the intricacies of managing an investment.
At 30 you’ll be glad you made that early sacrifice. While your peers will be struggling to put something away, you can be secure in the thought that you had a headstart.

Learn another language or get another degree. It’s been a good number of years since you’ve left university. Has your degree worked for you? Are your skills still competitive in the workplace? The best time to learn another language or get another degree would be when you’re unencumbered by job and family responsibilities, with the extra time and energy to work and study at the same time.

For most people that would be in their 20s.

For guidance, read classified advertisements outlining the qualifications of posts you eventually would like to fill. Is an MBA important to rise in your field? Would learning Mandarin or Japanese give you a chance to work in an overseas posting? Are your computer skills up to date? Acquiring relevant skills and knowledge adds to your value as an employee or manager and brightens prospects for the future.

So many deliberately stayed behind – out of ignorance, choice or fear – when the revolution of new information and technology took over, that their skills are now outdated and inadequate.

A former boss of mine, a hotel director of marketing, doesn’t even know how to use the most basic PC, claiming pen and paper will do. In the ‘90s this is amazing considering that true marketing involves testing and response analyses, both of which require computer knowledge. However, the most practical disadvantage of her ignorance was that any computer recommended for purchase by the department was bought, and even then the only cursory check was made by her assistant whose knowledge was hardly that of a professional IT manager. As a result none of the computers were networked and transfer of data was done manually with a diskette. Naturally productivity low.

All this could have been avoided if she had taken the time and effort to learn basic computer skill. In the long run being left behind costs money – and future jobs.

Live on your own. Some people think independence means not borrowing the car on Saturday night. That’s admirable, but moving out is much more of a learning experience. Paying household bills you’ve racked up, learning how to clean up after your own rubbish without a squadron of maids, even cooking your own meals are lessons well learned far from home.

Can’t afford living on your own? Have two jobs or move in with a friend. So many young people claim they are the masters of their own destiny but fuss when the maid doesn’t turn the hot water on. This is all riveting señorito stuff, but when the umbilical cord has to be finally severed they are at a loss. The most basic chores are incomprehensive since someone always used to do it for them.

Perhaps the best lesson one can learn in this life is that mommy and daddy aren’t always there to pick up after you.
Living on you own will teach you that in ways no textbook can, and will equip you better for the time when you start a family.

Exorcise your ghosts. This could probably be the hardest, since a grudge is like a bunion. Over time it gets harder and more calloused until its impenetrable. During your 20s its okay, nay accepted to blame your angst on deprived childhoods, cruel friends and traitorous boyfriends.

During your 30s the same excuses sound pretty lame. At some point or another you will have to be responsible for your own actions. So your parents broke up. so one of your boyfriends jilted you for your friend. So bloody what? Using these creaking skeletons as scapegoats for a miserable existence hardly counts as looking forward. I still have an office colleague who can’t forget no one spoke to her when she was in a freshman party in Australia. Did it scar her for life? Probably, since she can’t seem to stop talking about it.

Get rid of those ghosts that have stubbornly hung over you. They have no place in your tomorrows except as references to periods in your life.

Turning 30 means moving on, not wrestling with old grievances.

Remember Mme. Calmet? According to The Observer, despite the death of her only daughter, Yvonne, in 1934, of her husband Fernard in 1942, and of her only grandchild, Frederic, in 1963, she has something we should all aspire to have, says her doctor. “She has a remarkable capacity to overcome grief and carry on.” And carrying on is only the start.

Better things are yet to come – just wait until you’re 40.

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So what have i done out of these seven things? I've managed to travel to a number of places already, been to Hong Kong, Malaysia, China and the US. I've been to a number of places in the Philippines (Boracay, Cebu, Bohol, Ilocos, Baguio, Sagada) and i am planning to explore more of this fascinating country.

I have 2 life insurances now (i just started with the 2nd one). I am still a member of Fitness First and I plan to take going to the gym more seriously in 2006. I've started saving money in 2004 - i do have some available already but i haven't invested any of it. Maybe in 2006 i will be thinking of something. I've started my MBA 2+ years already and i am going to finish this around 2007, hopefully with honors. I have let go of most of my excess baggage, there are very few things i regret doing.

The only thing i haven't done yet is Live on My Own. That is indeed a big step. Maybe i will think about this soon.