winding down

my trip is winding down. these days i don't know if days go by faster or they drag on - but one thing i know is that i can't wait to get back home. i'm missing a lot from school already and its going to be midterms next week. there's so much stuff i need to read for school. this trip was actually one of the more busy trips this year and i feel like there is a huge burden on my shoulders right now with this ems project. sometimes i don't know if the challenge scares me but i've been quite emotion-deficit the past months. life has been good to me in general, probably not so much in the love zone, but i can say i been showered with a lot of blessings. i try to focus on those things these days - putting mcb on the backseat. "i'm fine. or its fine." is my usual retort whenever friends ask me how i feel about mcb and mcb's decisions of late. sometimes when i'm alone, the realization of never seeing mcb again haunts me - and it feels like soon there's going to be this big hole that will be difficult to fill. but what's important is that mcb's happy - and that is the only thing that matter.

i feel sad that the once fun and outgoing office barkada has changed so much the past year that it doesn't feel like home anymore. maybe we all got tired already of trying to make it work - bridging and trying to keep the friendships alive while we try and take a hold of our busy lives. nowadays, i try to just think how lucky i was to have met so many wonderful people. and i find comfort in that.