life after

exactly how many years ago since our good friend abet joined our creator escapes me - was it five years already?  has it really been that long?  i remember how devastated everyone felt when he passed away so suddenly.  25 years young and he was gone.  i cannot imagine how my good friend arlene felt during that time - no words could describe it but it wasn't hard to feel how painful losing a love one, much less your supposed to be better half.  its just tragic.

fast forward to today and two weekends from now, i am going to attend arlene's wedding.  its truly a miracle that she finds love a second time around.  granted juan and i are always engaged in a verbal tussle and he could be really irritating sometimes, i am glad that he made her smile again.  arlene and i have been with the big blue for the past eleven years and we've become quite good friends.  i guess experience and maturity has its way of bringing people closer together.  add the fact that we both share sort of the same familial problems - and its always nice to talk to someone who can really understand what you are going through.

while driving last night, i came to the realization upon reading arlene's text message that there's life indeed after a tragedy.  what seemed insurmountable five years ago is now just a fading memory.  abet is long gone but his passing has taught me a great deal about what life is.  life is too short for regrets and disappointments - clearly there is no joy in that.  i don't try to live through other people's standards and nor do i care if some people don't like me for who i am.  i am me and they just have to take me as i am.

here's to you abet.  gone but not forgotten.

here's to you arlene.  i'm glad you are getting your happily ever after.

sick and working

i feel much worse now than when i woke up this morning.  i would have preferred to stay home today except that i had to travel to our faraway cavite office to meet up with one of our department manager from the US.  the only consolation is a free lunch at sonya's garden and i could probably swing by amira's from some delicious mango and blueberry tarts if i still have the energy to drive.  the cold here in the office is really killing me and when you're nursing a flu, that is really a bad thing.  the other bad thing is that i can't go home until 7pm since my car is banned today.  in short, i'm doomed.  i can already see myself being on sick leave tomorrow.  dang!  i need to get better for the shoot on friday.

today's sunday.

slept past MN.
woke up at 6am.
chat. chat. chat.
30ml of dayquil.
champ for lunch.
studio shoot in the afternoon.
2 slices of yellow cab. gawd, i want my charlie chan chicken pasta.
dead tired now.
feel worse than when i woke up.
more sick now.
30ml of nyquil.
20 more minutes to la la land.

i freakin' need to get well.

sicky sicky

after seeing tropic thunder (hilarious movie) last night, i felt the familiar signs of the flu driving home.  i always know when i'm going to get sick - i guess you get familiar with the symptoms already.  so i dutifuly took my nyquil last night and within 15-20 mins, i was pretty much knocked out.  i woke up still feeling kind of dizzy and yeah, still sicky.  i probably should eat something and hopefully pick up enough steam to start working on the avp for tonight's psn launch.  but damn, i can barely keep my head up.  la la land is just so inviting.

I'm booked!

Yay, after a week of trying to come up with the best travel schedule i finally managed to confirm and book all my flights today.  I'm kind of happy that its in Malaysia because its been a while since my last trip there.  I'll finally be able to visit KL (can't believe the plane fare is that cheap) and go back to Singapore to see the merlion (hahaha) and sentosa which i wasn't able to do last time.  And yes, our itinerary and booking for HK are good too!  its going to be a really fun two weeks!  and there's only two more weeks of waiting left.

PLS READ : PSN BOARD +++

19 Oct 2008

Starbuck's, Bonifacio High Street

Present :  Jay, Jenner, Malou, Ohsie & Mark

Assignment Checklist

• (Jay) Send malou the savings account where people can deposit the membership fee, launch fee and all money matters;
• (Malou)  Ask Rick to request permission to use HP's logo
• (Em)  Send sponsorship letter for review and validate sponsorship packages
• (Greg)  Ask how much to rent a projector or check who can we borrow from?
  
• (Malou) Find hosts for the PSN launch party - 1 male, 1 female
• (Malou) Find out who can we assign to take BTS for the launch
• (Rick or Ohsie) Can you bring your laptops for the Audio-Visual Presentation?
• (Jenner) Build map on how to go to the venue for the PSN Launch party
• (Rick) Follow-up with HP on raffle as soon as the sponsorship letter is approved
• -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• (Ohsie) Ask Erwin Mallari for ideas on what to shoot for the Xmas cards
• (Jenner)  Get quotes on printing of the Xmas Cards
• (Em)  Find out list of upcoming RCGM activities.  Check past charity they did which we can do a back shoot.
• (Jenner) Get quotes for the printing & framing of the photographs
• (Jenner) Get quotes for the panels for the photo exhibit
• (Sonny) Finalize the layout/design for the exhibit
• (Jay/Em) Finalize with UWP schedule of charity activities & concert dates, venues including agreement with venues to provide spare/location for the exhibit
• (Em) Confirm with RCGM on sponsoring the cost of the exhibit & merchandise (xmas cards)
• (Jenner) Finish PSN calling card design.
• (Jay) Check with Board on agreement for the Proposed Photographers Bond.
• (Ohsie) Send jay the rules & regulations for the Canon Photo Marathon.
• (Jay) Work on the mechanics of the photo selection for the exhibit.

PSN Launch Party

1. Publicity.  We agreed that Malou should create a simple flyer for the PSN launch party on Oct 25.  Malou will work on this tonight so that everyone can post this in their multiply account by tomorrow (Monday).  We need MORE people to commit to attend the launch next saturday.
2. Non-Paying Guests.  We agreed to invite a few of our partners in photography.  They will not be paying the Php 300 for the grand launch.  Non-paying guests include - Sir Bong Morris, UWP (Luis, Johann) & 2 guests from HP (when they confirm sponsorship).
3. Program.  As part of the program, we will have the following AVP presentations.  (a)  PSN History (Ohsie/Jenner/Mark); (b)  Up With People (Luis Petzhold); and (c) Photo Exhibit Mechanics/Details/Etc (Jay/Em).  We will also have Sir Benjie's speech as President of PSN.
4. Registration for Membership/Launch.  Malou will prepare the required materials for the registration of people who want to be members of PSN.  She (with Mark) will also take care of getting the payment for the Launch party.

Photo Exhibit with Rotary Club Green Meadows (RCGM) & Up With People (UWP)

1. Merchandise.  We decided that due to timing constraints, we will no longer pursue the original merchandise except for the CHRISTMAS CARDS.  This is still tentative depending on whether we can pull this off.  5 XMAS CARD variants.  Instead of photos from RCGM/UWP, we will shoot either a set-up (studio) or not set-up (street) christmas theme for the cards.  Only five photos will be selected for the xmas cards.  Need to do the shoot for the Xmas cards immediately after the PSN launch party.  Jenner will check the cost for the printing of the xmas cards.
2. Photo Exhibit.  We all agreed that we will still push for 30 photos.  18 photos we will need to shoot either past or upcoming RCGM activities.  The 12 remaining photos will be for the charity work done by UWP which we will have to RUSH shoot, choose, print, frame between Nov 19 to 27 because the first UWP concert is scheduled in Nov 28.
3. Printing & Exhibit Set-up.  Photo prints will be 12x18 in size with a 2-inch border and black frame (No glass).  Photographer watermark should be a scanned hand signature only.  PSN + Sponsor logos will be placed in the borders, not on the photos.  Our sponsorship proposal for HP is to provide printers for instant shoots during the exhibit and for funds for the printing.  We will get the photos printed somewhere else.  Jenner will get quotes for the printing & framing.  Sonny is still in charge of the layout/design for the exhibit.
4. Exhibit Schedules, etc.  Jay/Em will talk with UWP to finalize the schedules of the UWP charity events and concerts including venues.  We also need to make sure that UWP asks the concert venues to provide us with the space required for the photo exhibit and contacts so we can prepare ahead the paperworks required for the ingress, set-up and eggress of the panels.
5. Calling cards.  Jenner will finish the design of the calling cards.  Printing is at the option of the PSN member.
6. Registration for Exhibit.  We need to get a confirmed list of people who will participate in the exhibit.  Since this is a professional commitment, proposal is to ask photographers who would like to participate to deposit a Php300 bond which they can get back once they submit 3 photos (Php100 per photo).  This ensures that when we assign them to an event, they will honor their commitment and submit their photos.
7. Selection Panel for Photos.  Include Jenner & maybe Leo Castillo.  Who else?
8. Photo Criteria, Rules & Regulations.  Ohsie will send rules & regulations from the Canon photo marathon.
9. Reserved Slots for the Exhibit.  To be fair to everyone, the proposal is that only those officers/members who have devoted considerable time to making the exhibit come to fruition will be given automatic slots for the exhibit.
10. Photo Pricing & Selling.  When all the costs are available, we will calculate how much we need to sell the photos to meet our goal for the 20% PSN and 80% Charity fund for RCGM.  Photos that are sold will be shipped (cost included) to the buyer only after all of the exhibit has been completed.  Christmas cards will be on sale throughout the exhibit.

Its crunch time already guys/gals.  There's a lot of work required to make this successful.  I know everyone is busy with work & other personal stuff but we knew what we were getting into when we all agreed we will pursue this project.  Its too late to back out now if we feel we do not have the time required to contribute to this project.  I am going to rework the calendar and see where we can assign people to help out.  RJ & Jaykun have showed their interest to help out.  For the others, please let me know where you can help out so i can assign you properly.

I've attached a poll here.  Please select your answer from the choices.  PLEASE VOTE ONLY ONCE.  Please avoid turning the comments section into a chatroom - let's use YM for that.

WTF?

got home from a party this morning past 3am and manage to get some shut-eye a little past 4am and for some reason i was awake at 7am.  7 frakkin' AM ... what the hell is wrong with me?  dammit, i need some sleep ... two nights in a row, my poor body is going to give.

frak!

TGIF!

the best day of the week for me will always have to be friday because its the start of the weekend and tells me that the hustle & bustle of working is about to end. work can be taxing and this week was no exception - juggling multiple presentations is no easy feat. and i used to love doing that - painstakingly working on every detail of my presentations and making sure all of the colors matched up. it was really the OC in me and my compulsion to create the impression that this presentation was worth listening too. today, my presentations are much simpler - i wouldn't say hushed but more direct to the point. eleven years at the big blue creating and doing presentations almost on a weekly basis sort of teaches you the proper ways. you get over whatever presentation jitters you have and just do the best you can.

eleven years. life at the big blue for me is about to close, maybe in the first quarter of next year. sometimes i ask myself if i am making the right decision specially in light of the current economic downturn. i probably have the option to stay but my heart isn't where it used to be and that has been killing me for the past year or so. maybe i should stop using everybody else as an excuse and just take a leap of faith. maybe that's the best way to do it. and maybe i should stop worrying about it too much.

at 34, is it still seriously possible to be crushing on somebody? i should stop. i'm in a better place right now and i seriously don't need the distraction. b'sides, i'm not cut out for it.

well its friday today, i shouldn't be thinking too much. so whatever was written above was not written by me! LOL!

early morning hurrah

i can't remember the last time i had to wake up in the dead hour of the morning to work.  its been a long while since i had to do this - the very last one was when i had to go for 36 hours straight with no sleep finishing my thesis for grad school.  that was probably almost a year ago so let's just say i'm not used to this set-up anymore.  one thing is that i've never really been good at doing things (that involves a whole lot of thinking) until the dead hours of the night.  i'd much rather get some sleep time, wake up real early like i do now and start back working.   i think much better in the wee hours of the morning when i feel a bit more refreshed.

its to time to work on some excel magic for data i need to present seven hours from now!

random thoughts

some random thoughts from today and the past few days ...

• i have been sleeping waaay past my usual for the past few days which is the main reason i feel kinda exhausted and crankier in the morning.  i really need to get some longer shuteye soon because there's still so much stuff to attend to.
• met some cool new peeps from up with people last saturday.  sarah from sweden, brandon from denver and armando from mexico.  i did meet luis (from brazil) who is the tour manager for UWP and johann.  they were very chatty, very friendly folks who i enjoyed sharing stories with.  one great thing - they all thought i was in my mid-20s so yeah, hurrah for looking young.
• first time to see a juijitsu competition last sunday.  it was fascinating.
• unplanned as it was, went around trinoma from store to store with b & d checking out what was interesting on the shelves.  went home with two nice shirts and realized that there are so many drool-worthy clothes begging me to buy them.  but yeah, when i slim down more then i'll be able to buy them.  another reason why i should do the gym religiously.
• finally had lechon at chanda's dinner after craving for it for quite some time now. and strangely enough, i had lechon again saturday at tiendesitas.  finally satisfied as well my cravings for yellow cab's charlie chan pasta with wings and pizza last sunday.  cyma's roka salata for dinner (yum!).  cpk for monday dinner.

sure glad its wednesday tomorrow.  so many things to do workwise.  haven't even booked my upcoming business trip (need to do that asap).  i need to get my braces adjusted tomorrow.  so many things to do, so little time.

Exhibit Project Schedule in JPG/Acrobat

PSN Peeps,

Here's the schedule in JPG format & Acrobat for those of you who can't open the file.  You can download, print and put the 8 sheets together to see the full schedule.  This is not final - still subject to discussion.

love alone

i probably have posted this before but hearing this song on my ipod made me remember how much i love the message of this song. life really has a way of throwing you a bone when you're feeling the blues.

love alone
caedmon's call

No one would love me
if they knew all the things I hide
My words fall to the floor
As tears drip through the telephone line

And the hands I’ve seen raised to the sky
Not waving but drowning all this time
I'll try to build an ark that they need
To float to you upon the crystal sea

Chorus:
Give me your hand to hold
'Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough to hold us up
We've got to touch your robe
So swing your robe down low
Swing your robe down low

The prince of despair's been beaten
But the loser still fights
Death's on a long leash
Stealing my friends to the night

And everyone cries for the innocent
You say to love the guilty too
And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
So I'm working tearing back the roof

Repeat Chorus

And the pain of the world is a burden
And it's my cross to bear
And I stumble under all the weight
I know you're Simon standing there
And I know you're standing there

PSN Board : Exhibit Timeline

Peeps,

====================================================================
Things We Need to Do :
1. We need to meet this weekend to discuss the attached schedule, talk about the deadlines and the ownership of the activities.
2. The following activities need to start this week. See file for deadlines:

• Finalize venues for Exhibit (Em)
• Selection of Judging Panel (Benjie)
• Mechanics of the Photo Exhibit (Benjie)
• Final activity schedule for RCGM & UWP (Em)
• Finalize details of RCGM sponsorship (Em)
• Exhibit Prelim Estimate (Sonny)
• Merchandise Prelim Estimate (Ohsie)
• Marketing Prelim Estimate (Rick)
• Miscellaneous Prelim Estimate (Malou)
• Finalize letterheads (Jenner)
• Finalize PSN ID design (Benjie/Jenner)
• Finalize PSN Shirt design (Rick)
• Prepare other sponsorship letters (Em)

3. RCGM & UWP would like to meet with Kuya Benjie this coming saturday. We can schedule the board meeting after the meeting with them.
====================================================================

The confirmed UWP shows where we would hold the exhibit are the following:
Nov 28 - WTC
Nov 29 - MOA
Nov 30 - Glorietta

There is one BIG problem in terms of the photos to be included in the exhibit - that is, the inclusion of photos taken of the UWP activities beginning sometime in Nov 19 when they arrive. There seems to be no way we can take the photos, pick them out, print them and have them framed in time for the first exhibit (Nov 28). I am working on duration estimates right now so we will need to fine tune it so we can get a more accurate project schedule. The first exhibit on Nov 28 is a week earlier than our original plan.

I've placed owners (activity leads who can assign and form teams) on the activities in the file. It is up to everyone to review the assignments and find a replacement if you are not comfortable handling the responsibility.

I have to emphasize to everyone that the timings are VERY tight and there will be work that needs to be done on a weekly basis moving forward. We will have to help each other out and leverage on as much of the PSN people out there who are willing to help out.

I will be out of the country from November 9-23. Em will coordinate the deadlines.

I've created the project schedule in two files. The microsoft project version is better but i also re-created the schedule in excel that auto-plots based from a start & end date. Excel is 2007. Project file is Office 2003.

You can filter for any of the activities you own (or lead) or any of the activities that start on a particular date. Manually, you can also just check the columns for the week today and see which activities are hi-lited - that either means the activity needs to start or the activity should be in-progress.

I could talk more about the details of the schedule and explain the activities when we meet.

Sorry for the long post. Just need to get all that's in my head in writing.

not a good time to contemplate

one of the things i hate about having some alone time is that it gives me time to breathe and think of things i probably shouldn't have. alone time gives me time to reflect and reflection makes the fuzzy unfuzzy and right now i think its best to remain unfocused - at least on certain topics. i did say at least for the short term that i am going to just enjoy life, to have no attachments and just dive head on. i guess there are some things about me i can't change - like the fact that i can overanalyze too much and get worried about things too early to get worried about. its times like these that i feel vulnerable and the negative vibes start creeping in. its probably brought about by recent events and how i want for things and people i cannot have.

i think moving forward, the best recourse is to just enjoy the moment. to not expect anything from anyone. to not fall for the unattainable or those where there's no future together. to not get too attached to anyone because everyone will leave eventually. and to just accept that my life is how i choose to live it.

> lunch in sg [09/27/2008]

i met my good friends annie, jap and their hubbies for lunch when i was in singapore last weekend. annie has just moved to singapore for good a couple of weeks back and expecting jap was their visiting her husband. incidentally, it was jap's birthday last september 25 so there was one more reason to get together that saturday afternoon.

the thought of having lunch with a couple of friends in another country is just , i dunno, nice. i wish eric was with us that time because it was the four of us who originally bonded during that trip to galera a few years back. what is funny about lunch that day is that we went to pepper lunch which has a branch in rockwell. we were laughing throughout lunch as we talked about a whole lot of nonsense things and we made okray each other (i can't think of the english word for okray right now). we're just fun that way. i finally met annie's boyfriend kenneth and he seemed like a nice guy. i was surprised to see annie in a dress that day - i bet she forgot to launder her clothes hence the dress. i definitely looked like a tourist that time - shorts, shirt and a knapsack - the look that feels like they're going to die from the warm weather and the non-stop walking.

we walked around a bit to check out some stores that day and ended up at coffee bean and tea leaf . it was a fun afternoon . makes me sad that annie is in sg already and jap probably will move there soon.

just a few more months and i'll have my options open. maybe moving to sg is still an option worth pursuing. but i'd cross the bridge when i get there.

green gone blue

i spent the entire day today watching the uaap judo tournament at up diliman in support of em's hubby tj's team. the funny thing here is that tj (together with his brother) coaches the ateneo judo team - and we all know i'm a green archer by heart. if the archers knew i was there rooting for the blue eagles, arrows would probably have flung from their benches straight through my heart. as luck will have it, the blue eagles snag the men's championship for both the juniors and seniors division. the green archers came in second in the seniors division. both teams are winners in my book. and yes (tj), if you are going to say anything, you're team is #1 and i rooted for you guys! my fellow green archers are going to burn me at the stake.

mind you, its very rare that i drive to this part of the metro but i promised em i was going to watch the tournament. seeing that someone i was seriously crushing on was just an added plus that made spending my whole day there worth it. it was interesting to watch the judo tournament - a first for me and i wasn't disappointed. there was a lot of drama in the competition - bloody cuts, athletes being hauled out on stretchers, bodies getting thrown here and there, and probably a whole lot of broken bones. its such an honor to be an athlete, to represent your school and give them pride by coming home with a medal. the sad thing about games is that there are winners and there are losers. i think the mere fact of competing makes everybody already a winner. i can't even see myself doing judo, much less compete - i'd probably die and i wouldn't want that. this sport i'd say is not for the faint of heart - broken bones, bloody cuts and all. maybe if i was younger i'd give it a try it because there's something about youth and being fearless. one thing for sure though - since i'm friends with both em & tj, i'll probably be forever rooting for the blue eagles in this sport.

its really fun to hang out with cute couple em & tj. and even though i've only known them for a few short months, it feels like i've known them for more than that. i've been introduced to the world of juijitsu and judo which is actually quite interesting to watch. meeting them is probably fate - and like they say, you can't fight fate. teehee.

one thing i realized being around the ateneans is that they all speak english. is that a requirement? LOL! they're all so conyo! la sallians are more down-to-earth (a.k.a tagalog ever ang language). ok, for the record, i could understand them perfectly well and i'll answer in english if they talk to me in english. if not, i prefer to use the native tongue! pinoy ako e! =)

this blog is sort of nonsense. can't really think of anything to write since my legs hurt like all get out and i can't think of anything else but sam.

overheard during the competition: "what's ateneo saying during their cheer? volt & fight?" ... "uhmmm, its One Big Fight!" hahaha peace!

PSN Board: Activity Owners Needed

PSN Board, Committee Heads, Active Members,

I am in the process of putting up together a master schedule for all activities we need to work on for the upcoming December Photo Exhibit with RCGM & UWP. I'd have to say i've already listed a lengthy list already with some activities i've temporarily assigned owners already.

If you are interested in OWNING any of the activities listed then please let me know by tomorrow. Otherwise, i will randomly assign names to the activities. I am going to work on when are the deadlines for these activities but i anticipate that some of the dates will have to be discussed as a group. I think we will need to meet to discuss the schedule including the details of each of the activities.
*If you become an owner of an activity, you can solicit the help of other PSN members to help you out. What OWNING an activity means is that you will be accountable for making sure the activity is completed.

FYI ...Em informed me today that Mr. Tsai (President of RCGM) would like to meet Kuya Benjie so we will have to schedule that for next week. Kuya B, is monday a good day for you?

The Master Schedule is in Microsoft Project but i moved the activity list in excel manually.