mcdreamy

dear fish,

so yes, i have to tell you that you are my mcdreamy and that no matter what others say or how wrong it sounds, you are the person i will truly love and adore for the rest of my life. despite the pain, the sadness and longing these feelings brought me, i never regretted having you in my life. you have brought color and happiness in my life that i have only heard of before in fairytales. the world truly was brighter with you in it.

some people told me that what i long for with you is wrong and maybe it is, or maybe it isn't. love never did make a lot of sense to me. i know though that i'm not expecting anything from you, that loving you, even from a distance and even in silence, is enough for me. i know this road i'm in will only lead to more sadness and heartache, and i will have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. i probably will never be able to love anybody as much as i love you right now and that will be my undoing.

the trip will probably help me clear my head, help me think straight for once and be free of you hounding my every waking hour. that should give me perspective - probably some insane idea on how i can finally move on. i've wished to God long & hard every night for Him to take care of you, hopefully let you know how special you are to me. yes, you are truly special and i envy the person who will be able to make your heart beat like you did mine.

love is indeed tragic.

yuan*