why it feels strange between us

dear mcbaby,

i guess not feeling well today sort of amplifies that gloomy, depressing feeling i've had all day. i knew when i woke up that i was coming down with something - i guess i'd have to blame it on my overdoing the gym thing last night and not having enough sleep. its times like these when i am overly sensitive and that i wonder how can things be so suddenly strange between us. we usually say our curt hello's when we cross paths but it sort of ends there. there's not even a pretentious "kamusta?" or some sarcastic or joking remark or anything that can start a conversation between us. sometimes i wonder how we ever ended up like this, somewhat hanging between being friends and being mere acquiantances. i don't know anything about you now and whatever's happening with you, i get them second hand nowadays. i missed those times when you will tell me what's happening and then ask as if my opinion really mattered. it really felt good to be part of your story - but things are different now between us. i guess its my fault mostly and sometimes i regret having had to make those bad choices before. i don't think things will ever be the same between us but at least i'm thankful that in some way, you're still here and right now, that is enough for me.

yuan*