yesterday was mom's birthday and since she was still in the hospital watching over my sister, i decided to buy some food and bring it there so we can at least celebrate. mom is i think around 67yo yesterday and we are lucky that at this age, she is still quite strong, self-sufficient and has not been plagued with any major sickness. Perhaps she's been blessed with good health because God knows her family needs her. mom, for the first time since my sister got confined a week ago, went with me to go home and get some stuff. even if i was quite tired from driving already, i offered to drive her back to the hospital since i didn't want her to commute and i knew the blacksheep wouldn't drive her. the drive to makati was a pretty smooth one but the drive back was painfully exhausting with the horrendous traffic and all. i am thankful though that i am lately driving an automatic car so at least in a way, its easier to drive - doesn't mean though that its less tiring. it still is so that by the time i got home, i was pretty beat that i went straight to bed.
i woke up around 4am with jacob crying outside my door - since he slept early that night, i figured he just woke up early so i just let him in to watch tv while i went to the restroom. i heard dad calling out my and blacksheep's name and i knew something was wrong. dad laid there in bed and he said he couldn't move his body, or he felt so weak that he couldn't lift anything. even if i tried to sit him down (and my it felt like he weighed a ton), he couldn't steady himself. after a while i decided that we should bring him to the hospital but i knew i couldn't lift him up by myself. of all the lousy timing, blacksheep was not home and i didn't even have his celfone number. i was debating whether to call an ambulance seeing that we needed to save any money we had right now to pay my sister's hospital bills. i fortunately managed to call some neighbors who were nice enough to help carry him to the car (i had at this time, moved the car to the front of the house and had changed my nephew's clothes). we managed to bring him to the emergency room of mcp and they initially thought he suffered a stroke.
i honestly don't know dad's medical history since he doesn't really bother to tell us the details and he likes to do self-medication. i did list down all of the medicines i saw from his meds bag before we left (just in case) and gave the list to the nurse. dad had to be admitted and it luckily i still had the money that ria paid me last week (this was supposed to be a gift for my mom). God is still good because dad didn't suffer a stroke after they did his x-ray and ct-scan but he has to stay overnight because they still need to run some labs on him tomorrow. his blood sugar though was very low (this might have been the initial cause why he couldn't move) and this is a no-no for a diabetic.
it's not the money (while that is still something that my mom & i have had sleepless nights with - seeing that my sister's bill might go to 350k) that frustrates me but rather because my dad, even if he knew he had all of these ailments, was careless. he self-medicates and i've seen him just like double the dosage of the meds he drinks and eats stuff that he should avoid. i am not particularly close to my dad but that doesn't mean that i won't help out if something happens to him - i'm not that bad naman (except for the blacksheep probably). dad is very stubborn and has always been like that, he's "ma-pride" and proud and spends what little money he has on sometimes trivial stuff. knowing him, he will revert back to his old ways once he gets better.
blacksheep is staying with dad at the hospital tonight, while mom has to return to makati med to take care of my sister. i have to stay at home to watch over my nephew. i wish with everything here that has happened, some good things come up of it - like my sister to start managing her finances better and blacksheep make an effort to find work and AT LEAST support himself. mom and i have been pretty exhausted lately and i know i have been saying this in the last few entries but i'm really sleep-deprived and exhausted most days. i don't know how much longer our (mom & i's) bodies can keep up being this tired but i'm praying we can hold on.
times like these, i wish i had a mcb or somebody. i do have my friends but it probably will be easier to bear having someone by your side, to hold you hand or rest your head even just for a while. i guess we can't all be that lucky ... and maybe this thing that my family is going through is an emotional wake-up call ... God-willing.
friends, please please pray for me and my family. i really need your prayers.
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