September 04, 2007

where do i go from here

i guess i should know exactly when things started falling through the cracks but somehow its difficult to admit that i am partly to blame where i am today. i stand at a crossroad where despite the choices, i'd have to take the route i am dying to get out of. i can't afford to take the road less traveled right now - and its not because i have succumbed to a defeatist attitude but its more for practicality. people must already be wondering what the heck i am talking about - its work.

work. right now, it feels like each work day is torture. it gets harder and harder to breathe and thinking about it is sucking the life out of me. yes, its that bad. i hate it but i have to do it because it pays the bills. some might say, there's always a choice - and they may be right and it would've been easy if my decisions affected only myself. there are other people to think about and being selfish is out of the question. so while the question lingers in my head, i have to do this.

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