continuing trials

i had to bring my sister back again to the hospital because she was having abdominal pains & was vomiting again. i thought after her operation a few months ago that things will start going back to normal but like the doctor said there will be a few pains. this is her second time in the hospital this year after spending quite a few weeks last year. that period was physically, emotionally and financially draining. she didn't have a good medical plan from her company then so both mom & i had to share the expenses. things would probably be not that difficult if i had at least a brother i could rely on and a dependable father. while i know they won't let any harm come to my nephew, i'm not so comfortable leaving him with them. so for the next few days, i'd have to try again to balance work, taking care of my nephew, household chores and school's starting on monday. its really a crash-course in growing up and a realization of my obligation to my family. it probably would have been easier if my dad had a steady income or my brother have work but looking at how lazy my brother is, i don't think he has plans of working anymore. i honestly don't know how people like him, who seemingly don't have any ambition and desire to move forward, find purpose in life. i probably would have taken pity if he was at least humble about not contributing financially, but it feels most of the time that we owe him something. he could contribute to the household chores but he's super lazy (and i'm not exaggerating) and lives as if he had servants to clean up after him. to top it all, even if you ask him to do something, its like speaking to the wall and he takes offense about it. i feel bad about it but i don't feel any affection towards him anymore.

i hope things get better soon. as always, i trust God will help us through.