it was probably bound to happen with all the late nights and early wake-ups to attend to work and family matters. i knew going home last night when my throat felt sore that i was coming down with something. i took vitamins before going to bed hoping it can do some good but i woke up with a really nasty flu this morning. so today, instead of having to work on some of my backlogged program milestones, i am forced to stay in bed and sleep it off. in a way, i guess its my body's way of saying "you need to recharge, and if you are not going to take time to do it, i'll make it happen for you." haay, i can't afford to get sick right now - have so many stuff to work on - read my materials for school on monday, get things in order for the project i'm managing ... ugh! hopefully i'll feel better tonight so i can start working.
June 30, 2007
June 28, 2007
Prayer to St. Joseph over 1900 years old
Friends, if you have the time, kindly include this prayer for 9 consecutive mornings so that my sister will get better and for anything you would want to ask God. It has been seldom known to fail.
O St. Joseph whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the Throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires. O St. Joseph do assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your Divine Son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that having engaged here below your Heavenly power I may offer my Thanksgiving and Homage to the most Loving of Fathers. O St. Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms. I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press him in my name and kiss His fine Head for me, and ask Him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls, pray for us. Amen
yes, despite everything, i have deeply rooted Catholic faith. i believe in God. He has never failed me and He has always been there through the good & bad times.
O St. Joseph whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the Throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires. O St. Joseph do assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your Divine Son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that having engaged here below your Heavenly power I may offer my Thanksgiving and Homage to the most Loving of Fathers. O St. Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms. I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press him in my name and kiss His fine Head for me, and ask Him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls, pray for us. Amen
This prayer was found in the fiftieth year of Our Lord Jesus Christ. In 1500's it was sent by the Pope to Emperor Charles when he was going into battle.
Whoever reads this prayer or hears it or carries it, will never die a sudden death, nor be drowned, nor will poison take effect on them. They will not fall into the hands of the enemy nor be burned in any fire, nor will they be defeated in battle.
Make this prayer known everywhere.
- Imprimatur
Most Rev. George W. Ahr
Bishop of Trenton
yes, despite everything, i have deeply rooted Catholic faith. i believe in God. He has never failed me and He has always been there through the good & bad times.
good news
i'm happy to say that my sister has finally been discharged from the hospital, total bill probably was around 100k. it just goes to show that in this time and age, its hard to get sick specially if you don't have the means to pay for hospital care. i really pray that my sister gets better - better that even if she will need to take maintenance medications, she doesn't need to go back to the hospital. its financially draining since its mom who has been shouldering most of the hospital bills, while i try to cover as much of the household bills as possible. i'm concerned also for my mom because she's been dipping a lot from her retirement money. this is why i finally decided to sit down and plan a budget, i needed to see how much money i can save. i realized how difficult it was to plan a budget, how much we take for granted what anyone running a household had to do to make ends meet. i realized how lucky i am to have a good paying job that allows me to help out. its probably destiny and i thank God for his eternal goodness in allowing me to help my family.
having my sister home is good news too because mom can take over having to bring my nephew to school and i can concentrate back in addressing work matters. i've been tossed in the grill a couple of times and this morning, i took my gloves off and broke my silence. if they thought i spoke good enough english, they probably was surprised i could talk non-stop when i am all fired up. i'm getting sick and tired trying to play along and being their whipping boy. ay naku, i'll show them i'm no pushover and i have 10 years of great reputation @ the big blue to back it up. shopping used to be great therapy whenever i felt bad but with the whole budget thing going on, i better not. hmmm except, the store manager from springfield just texted me that there's a sale tomorrow. i should go and buy a few items. i have allocation for clothing naman e (insert laugh here!). i'll follow my good friend trixy's "i'm going to save" mentality (peace trix, you know i love you!).
having my sister home is good news too because mom can take over having to bring my nephew to school and i can concentrate back in addressing work matters. i've been tossed in the grill a couple of times and this morning, i took my gloves off and broke my silence. if they thought i spoke good enough english, they probably was surprised i could talk non-stop when i am all fired up. i'm getting sick and tired trying to play along and being their whipping boy. ay naku, i'll show them i'm no pushover and i have 10 years of great reputation @ the big blue to back it up. shopping used to be great therapy whenever i felt bad but with the whole budget thing going on, i better not. hmmm except, the store manager from springfield just texted me that there's a sale tomorrow. i should go and buy a few items. i have allocation for clothing naman e (insert laugh here!). i'll follow my good friend trixy's "i'm going to save" mentality (peace trix, you know i love you!).
June 26, 2007
its nice to be remembered
its times like this, on special ocassions, when you it feels nice to be remembered. while this day is passing on without so much fanfare (no partying, no celebrations, no cakes, no nothings), it doesn't really bother me. partying is so much more fun when its not you celebrating (or paying for that matter). it feels nice though to hear the familiar sound of text messages arriving on my phone, let alone seeing your inbox getting filled up with e-mail greetings. i even feel good getting greetings from well-wishers, even people i've only met online.
hopefully i get to celebrate a bit this coming weekend - the weekday is kind of a no-no. work is really demanding and while i do wish i can take that trip to the US sometime in mid-july, i'd have to put my school responsibilities ahead. the trip to costa rica end of july is the one that i feel bad about, being that its so hard to score a trip out there. its bad enough i'd have to pass one trip, but two? and what about those costa rican eye candies? bummer!
people have been asking me what i'd wish for on my birthday, and it probably will be really swell if birthday wishes do come true. but who knows right? so here's what i'm wishing for - that things in my life gets better and work out well soon! on the side though, i pray for happiness, good health and safety for my family and friends. i'd like to wish for "someone" but i don't think i can handle anymore complications in life right now. so i'll wing this single-blessedness for a bit longer. it will happen in God's time, not mine. (bigat!)
so yes, thank you for remembering - you all made my day so much better.
hopefully i get to celebrate a bit this coming weekend - the weekday is kind of a no-no. work is really demanding and while i do wish i can take that trip to the US sometime in mid-july, i'd have to put my school responsibilities ahead. the trip to costa rica end of july is the one that i feel bad about, being that its so hard to score a trip out there. its bad enough i'd have to pass one trip, but two? and what about those costa rican eye candies? bummer!
people have been asking me what i'd wish for on my birthday, and it probably will be really swell if birthday wishes do come true. but who knows right? so here's what i'm wishing for - that things in my life gets better and work out well soon! on the side though, i pray for happiness, good health and safety for my family and friends. i'd like to wish for "someone" but i don't think i can handle anymore complications in life right now. so i'll wing this single-blessedness for a bit longer. it will happen in God's time, not mine. (bigat!)
so yes, thank you for remembering - you all made my day so much better.
June 25, 2007
toasting it
i can't believe in a few more minutes and i will be 33. its not so hard saying it, admitting it is a completely different story. it probably will be past midnight when this gets posted but right now, i am contemplating what to write. i should actually be getting some shut-eye right now having to wake up for a 4am meeting but the sandman eludes me still. its probably because i still feel full having had a sandwich for a late, late dinner an hour ago. blame it on strama.
right now, i'm thankful that i'm 33 - not because of the age thing (and being oldie but not looking like one) but because in a way, i have more years in life than others. when abet passed away a few years back, he left us (his friends) all a very valuable message about life - that it was a gift that we should treasure, enjoy and be thankful for every minute because it is also short and uncertain. i'm just happy waking up mornings and knowing that God has given me another day in this world. i guess with growing up comes the need to face the reality that we are here on a temporary arrangement. on a lighter note, it feels great to be alive! but frac, i'm thirty-three. hahaha whatever!
i don't like birthdays. i don't like people showering me with attention (ows?) because i'm not good with compliments. but since i'm on leave tomorrow, i get a reprieve having to say "thank you" with a sheepish smile. the sad thing though is that with mom taking care of my sister at the hospital, i only have my 3yo nephew to celebrate my birthday with (less the dad & the black sheep brother). wow, its like two years in a row i'm going to celebrate without "family." last year, i celebrated it with a few friends (some acquiantances) since i was in arizona that time. times like this, it'd be nice to have someone to celebrate your special day with. but hey, i have my nephew, he's more than reason enough to celebrate.
1 san mig light + 2 margaritas + 2 glasses of cabernet = tipsy! i like.
right now, i'm thankful that i'm 33 - not because of the age thing (and being oldie but not looking like one) but because in a way, i have more years in life than others. when abet passed away a few years back, he left us (his friends) all a very valuable message about life - that it was a gift that we should treasure, enjoy and be thankful for every minute because it is also short and uncertain. i'm just happy waking up mornings and knowing that God has given me another day in this world. i guess with growing up comes the need to face the reality that we are here on a temporary arrangement. on a lighter note, it feels great to be alive! but frac, i'm thirty-three. hahaha whatever!
i don't like birthdays. i don't like people showering me with attention (ows?) because i'm not good with compliments. but since i'm on leave tomorrow, i get a reprieve having to say "thank you" with a sheepish smile. the sad thing though is that with mom taking care of my sister at the hospital, i only have my 3yo nephew to celebrate my birthday with (less the dad & the black sheep brother). wow, its like two years in a row i'm going to celebrate without "family." last year, i celebrated it with a few friends (some acquiantances) since i was in arizona that time. times like this, it'd be nice to have someone to celebrate your special day with. but hey, i have my nephew, he's more than reason enough to celebrate.
1 san mig light + 2 margaritas + 2 glasses of cabernet = tipsy! i like.
June 22, 2007
feels like i'm in "24"
i was trying to think of something more wittier for a title but i'm having a bit of a headache and the advils i took hasn't started working yet. it feels like i'm living lately by the hour since trying to juggle everything (work, school & life) is more difficult than i expected and 24 hours seem such a short period.
10:00 PM. decided to call it a day. finished 98% of a presentation material. sleep is a welcome respite, its the only time i get to stop thinking, slow down my over-active brain. it feels so good when you know that sleep is going to wash over you soon. there's a chance to rejuvenate. i utter a prayer mostly for my family and remember 3 things - to thank, to say sorry and to ask forgiveness.
03:30 AM. 5 1/2 of shut-eye. i should be feeling refreshed but somehow the short sleep the past few nights makes 5 1/2 hours seem like a nap - i can feel my body telling me to get some more but each hour for the next few is accounted for. i've stopped taking caffeine in the mornings so i'm trying to jumpstart my adrenalin with my head. i open my laptop and peer into where i left off and type in hurriedly. 30mins and its a wrap. presentation is neatly packaged.
04:00 AM. i rummage through my nephew's closet and figure will make him standout today. since i bought most of his clothes during my trips to the US, i pretty much knew what kind of clothes he had. i finally decide on a orange-striped t-shirt, cropped tan pants and his kid-cool black new balance rubber shoes. if i had clothes like these when i was a kid ... uhmmm ok, self-indulgent moment ...
04:30 AM. yikes yikes. i rush to take a shower, brush my teeth, pick clothes to wear. dang, my ensemble isn't as neat as my nephews. green shorts & an old navy shirt. havaianas slippers. technomarine watch. i take out reading materials for school and put it in my laptop sleeve.
05:00 AM. i dial in for my first meeting. i prepare for an hour-long conversation, netmeetings and whatever collaboration tool there is. this meeting is quite a challenge and i disposed of any pleasantries. 5mins into the meeting and we were having a verbal tussle - i was fired up. wide awake now. i felt i spoke better english when i was feeling like this. i fell short of the "aah" at the end of each sentence which plague most pinoys when conversing in english. funny for 'D to say that wasn't the intention of the questions yesterday and i told 'D that that may not have been the intention but it sure came out differently. whatever! no use crying over spilled milk. we ended amicably and hopefully much clearer with what was needed to be accomplished.
06:00 AM. my manager is asking me to spare a quick 10-mins to talk about some stuff. she, in a subtle, managerial way is telling me she is "stepping in" to help manage. i kept quiet through most of the 10mins. do they think i'm screwing up? whatever! she asked me if i can come to the US sometime in W29 and i politely say "no" - frac, i just realized i still need 410 miles to make 4 tickets to HK. after she finished with her "i want to help you" spiel, i just said "ok." hahaha i have to admit that conversation was depressing.
06:10 AM. had to log-in to another meeting. blah blah blah. leo was talking about the stuff that we've been having discussions since yesterday. while leo was busily talking, i was IM'ing a co-worker in the US about the conversation i had. she doesn't think i screwed up but she never thinks i can screw up anything anyway (hahaha!). i decided to send to the team the email i got from my manager along with the awesome presentation i crafted last night. for the record, i know how to tie all the work together contrary to what i think they perceive. i have an above average IQ no! hahaha self-indulgent again.
07:00 AM. ugh, glad the meetings finished earlier. my nephew though is acting up and doesn't want to go to school. i really need some patience pills right now. its a good thing he changed his mind after and started to dress up the fabulous ensemble i prepared for him. it was 15 past 7 already and to get to his school before 8, i'd have to drive really fast. i don't understand how much vehicles there are on the road at this hour. there are really too many vehicles that the government allows for the miniscule roads we have. that's commerce for you. btw, got to school 15 before 8 with my uber cool driving skills.
08:00 AM. i sit in the car, download my gmail from my treo. galing. i just recently managed to configure my email from my mobile to download my gmail so fascinated pa ako until now. i take out my school reading materials and read our case. i just realized i haven't read anything and i am way late in working on my case contributions. its gonna be a long night tonight. after finishing up my case, i felt the familiar feeling of tiredness so i gave in and doze off for a good 10-15mins.
09:00 AM. dialing in. these meetings never end. i like talking to leo though cause he's an optimist like myself. we talked about a bit on the email and he chose his words carefully short of saying that i have done everything humanly possible to manage the project given the circumstances but he did not deny the obvious, that the contact time was not enough for me to become an effective PM. tell me something i don't know. we talked about work more and before i knew it, we were actually over the hour. its pretty hot taking my meeting in the car but that was the only way to block out the noise. good thing i have a hands-free kit since i could feel my mobile is getting pretty warm.
10:20 AM. ten more minutes and my nephew's school is over. i see him from afar and feel a sense of happiness seeing him and calling me. he puts a smile on the people's face around as he says "bye bye" to his teacher. my nephew immediately asks me if we're going to the mall since i promised him this morning if he will dress up. not wanting to give him false promises, i decide to drive him to the mall and just ake an early lunch. this is the great thing about my work - i'm free to manage my own time.
11:00 AM. lunch came in the form of jollibee - he loves chicken & gravy and i've been eating it a lot of times because of him. it feels nice to have someone dependent on you and i love being with my nephew, tantrums & all. its nice to hear him say he loves you and surprises you with hugs for no reason at all or hear him talk non-stop and try to decipher what he means. we roamed around a few after lunch and i decided to let him play a bit on the playground in the mall. i told him i will let him play for a short time only since i had to go back and work. this is what i love about my nephew, as soon as i told him it was time to go, he didn't throw any fit and just held my hand and walked away.
12:00 PM. booting up my laptop. not a lot of emails. read through some mails. i see placeholders for the US face-to-face in my calendar. i try to recall the events of the morning and breathe a sigh of relief of the hiatus the coming weekend brings. school will be a welcome distraction. i just realized next week is a special week.
01:00 PM. gawd, i'm too tired my eyes are practically falling on me. i decide to take an hour nap to recharge. my nephew watching "dora" on my television, aircon in full. the aircon has been running full for 10-15 hours everyday - i shouldn't be surprised anymore why i paid up 7k in electricity bills just the other day. bummer.
02:00 PM. i woke up to the sound of my phone alarm. those damn alarms are becoming a pain. i need more sleep. the nap didn't really do a lot of good having been awaken in the middle of la-la land, my head was throbbing. i popped 2 advils and downed a bottle of one iced tea and checked what kind of emails i got since i slept an hour ago. hmm, nothing interesting.
03:00 PM. started to think through what i should go over with during my 330pm meeting. i opened up some materials which can help during the discussion but i expected it to be more free-flowing. i was meeting up with migs, who worked for me before and for some reason, we talked on the phone in english. hahaha weird, we would have understood each other perfectly with tagalog but it was actually easier to talk through the presentation in english.
04:00 PM. i called it quits when the clock struck 4PM. at least for that meeting with migs since he had to catch the shuttle. i decided to call it a day around 430PM and decided to write this entry instead. i'm gearing up to start reading the rest of the case readings.
pretty busy day right? i need a good restaurant, sit-down meal. a hot mocha and some cheesecake. comfort food. at least "transformers" na next week. =)
10:00 PM. decided to call it a day. finished 98% of a presentation material. sleep is a welcome respite, its the only time i get to stop thinking, slow down my over-active brain. it feels so good when you know that sleep is going to wash over you soon. there's a chance to rejuvenate. i utter a prayer mostly for my family and remember 3 things - to thank, to say sorry and to ask forgiveness.
03:30 AM. 5 1/2 of shut-eye. i should be feeling refreshed but somehow the short sleep the past few nights makes 5 1/2 hours seem like a nap - i can feel my body telling me to get some more but each hour for the next few is accounted for. i've stopped taking caffeine in the mornings so i'm trying to jumpstart my adrenalin with my head. i open my laptop and peer into where i left off and type in hurriedly. 30mins and its a wrap. presentation is neatly packaged.
04:00 AM. i rummage through my nephew's closet and figure will make him standout today. since i bought most of his clothes during my trips to the US, i pretty much knew what kind of clothes he had. i finally decide on a orange-striped t-shirt, cropped tan pants and his kid-cool black new balance rubber shoes. if i had clothes like these when i was a kid ... uhmmm ok, self-indulgent moment ...
04:30 AM. yikes yikes. i rush to take a shower, brush my teeth, pick clothes to wear. dang, my ensemble isn't as neat as my nephews. green shorts & an old navy shirt. havaianas slippers. technomarine watch. i take out reading materials for school and put it in my laptop sleeve.
05:00 AM. i dial in for my first meeting. i prepare for an hour-long conversation, netmeetings and whatever collaboration tool there is. this meeting is quite a challenge and i disposed of any pleasantries. 5mins into the meeting and we were having a verbal tussle - i was fired up. wide awake now. i felt i spoke better english when i was feeling like this. i fell short of the "aah" at the end of each sentence which plague most pinoys when conversing in english. funny for 'D to say that wasn't the intention of the questions yesterday and i told 'D that that may not have been the intention but it sure came out differently. whatever! no use crying over spilled milk. we ended amicably and hopefully much clearer with what was needed to be accomplished.
06:00 AM. my manager is asking me to spare a quick 10-mins to talk about some stuff. she, in a subtle, managerial way is telling me she is "stepping in" to help manage. i kept quiet through most of the 10mins. do they think i'm screwing up? whatever! she asked me if i can come to the US sometime in W29 and i politely say "no" - frac, i just realized i still need 410 miles to make 4 tickets to HK. after she finished with her "i want to help you" spiel, i just said "ok." hahaha i have to admit that conversation was depressing.
06:10 AM. had to log-in to another meeting. blah blah blah. leo was talking about the stuff that we've been having discussions since yesterday. while leo was busily talking, i was IM'ing a co-worker in the US about the conversation i had. she doesn't think i screwed up but she never thinks i can screw up anything anyway (hahaha!). i decided to send to the team the email i got from my manager along with the awesome presentation i crafted last night. for the record, i know how to tie all the work together contrary to what i think they perceive. i have an above average IQ no! hahaha self-indulgent again.
07:00 AM. ugh, glad the meetings finished earlier. my nephew though is acting up and doesn't want to go to school. i really need some patience pills right now. its a good thing he changed his mind after and started to dress up the fabulous ensemble i prepared for him. it was 15 past 7 already and to get to his school before 8, i'd have to drive really fast. i don't understand how much vehicles there are on the road at this hour. there are really too many vehicles that the government allows for the miniscule roads we have. that's commerce for you. btw, got to school 15 before 8 with my uber cool driving skills.
08:00 AM. i sit in the car, download my gmail from my treo. galing. i just recently managed to configure my email from my mobile to download my gmail so fascinated pa ako until now. i take out my school reading materials and read our case. i just realized i haven't read anything and i am way late in working on my case contributions. its gonna be a long night tonight. after finishing up my case, i felt the familiar feeling of tiredness so i gave in and doze off for a good 10-15mins.
09:00 AM. dialing in. these meetings never end. i like talking to leo though cause he's an optimist like myself. we talked about a bit on the email and he chose his words carefully short of saying that i have done everything humanly possible to manage the project given the circumstances but he did not deny the obvious, that the contact time was not enough for me to become an effective PM. tell me something i don't know. we talked about work more and before i knew it, we were actually over the hour. its pretty hot taking my meeting in the car but that was the only way to block out the noise. good thing i have a hands-free kit since i could feel my mobile is getting pretty warm.
10:20 AM. ten more minutes and my nephew's school is over. i see him from afar and feel a sense of happiness seeing him and calling me. he puts a smile on the people's face around as he says "bye bye" to his teacher. my nephew immediately asks me if we're going to the mall since i promised him this morning if he will dress up. not wanting to give him false promises, i decide to drive him to the mall and just ake an early lunch. this is the great thing about my work - i'm free to manage my own time.
11:00 AM. lunch came in the form of jollibee - he loves chicken & gravy and i've been eating it a lot of times because of him. it feels nice to have someone dependent on you and i love being with my nephew, tantrums & all. its nice to hear him say he loves you and surprises you with hugs for no reason at all or hear him talk non-stop and try to decipher what he means. we roamed around a few after lunch and i decided to let him play a bit on the playground in the mall. i told him i will let him play for a short time only since i had to go back and work. this is what i love about my nephew, as soon as i told him it was time to go, he didn't throw any fit and just held my hand and walked away.
12:00 PM. booting up my laptop. not a lot of emails. read through some mails. i see placeholders for the US face-to-face in my calendar. i try to recall the events of the morning and breathe a sigh of relief of the hiatus the coming weekend brings. school will be a welcome distraction. i just realized next week is a special week.
01:00 PM. gawd, i'm too tired my eyes are practically falling on me. i decide to take an hour nap to recharge. my nephew watching "dora" on my television, aircon in full. the aircon has been running full for 10-15 hours everyday - i shouldn't be surprised anymore why i paid up 7k in electricity bills just the other day. bummer.
02:00 PM. i woke up to the sound of my phone alarm. those damn alarms are becoming a pain. i need more sleep. the nap didn't really do a lot of good having been awaken in the middle of la-la land, my head was throbbing. i popped 2 advils and downed a bottle of one iced tea and checked what kind of emails i got since i slept an hour ago. hmm, nothing interesting.
03:00 PM. started to think through what i should go over with during my 330pm meeting. i opened up some materials which can help during the discussion but i expected it to be more free-flowing. i was meeting up with migs, who worked for me before and for some reason, we talked on the phone in english. hahaha weird, we would have understood each other perfectly with tagalog but it was actually easier to talk through the presentation in english.
04:00 PM. i called it quits when the clock struck 4PM. at least for that meeting with migs since he had to catch the shuttle. i decided to call it a day around 430PM and decided to write this entry instead. i'm gearing up to start reading the rest of the case readings.
pretty busy day right? i need a good restaurant, sit-down meal. a hot mocha and some cheesecake. comfort food. at least "transformers" na next week. =)
June 21, 2007
time to play dirty
i've been struggling with managing this project that i've been assigned to remotely from asia for a couple of quarters already. despite the project (in this case system) being developed in the US, i've been doing my best (ok, maybe not my absolute, more than 100% best) to manage the activities with the limited interaction time. the difference here is that it is quite a big project that involves more people that i have to work part-time PM and part-time BA. i've been mostly considerate, light-headed and a teamplayer through most part of the project and then this morning, people working on the project throws in questions to the effect that they needed clarity how what they're doing ties in to the overall picture (i.e. they didn't know what they were doing). Bam! just like that! it was nothing short of an ambush - i was super pissed off that i made sure they felt it from my statements. Geez, there are 4 other days in the work week to ask questions - asking those kind of questions during the meeting was just blatantly disrespectful and i don't believe i deserved that. whatever the intention was - i take full offense in it. I've always felt sorry for this person because everytime my previous manager (in a subtle but direct way) did not think that person was experienced or capable enough to handle some of the work required. And i've always believed in giving people chances and the opportunity to prove people wrong. clearly, my compassion has been misplaced in this case. so if rough is how they want to play it, i don't mind roughing it up and getting dirty. they haven't the dark side of me yet and if they're itching to have a taste of it, then i'm going to let them see how evil i can be. besides, with everything going in my life right now, an outlet for repressed anger might not be that bad.
June 20, 2007
am i near the tipping point?
i've purposedly slept early around 10 last night thinking i would have a fresh head around 2am to attend to some work i needed for an early morning meeting. lately, four hours of sleep just doesn't cut it so i overslept the 2am alarm and woke up around 3am with mom telling me we had to bring my sister to the hospital. her insides were still acting out since she came home last night. makati med was kind of an easy drive at 3am and at that hour, i was able to do some work at the waiting area without distraction. i realized i had to get back home fast because of two things, the car we brought was banned that day and my nephew needed someone to go to school. probably a blessing in disguise but i've been toying with my treo yesterday and i managed to finally set-up my versa-mail to synch with my gmail account via gprs (yep, my phone doesn't have 3G yet). i managed to shoot my boss a quick e-mail that i will have to take our 1:1 in the car.
i managed to get back home around 5am, set-up my laptop for my 6am meeting and frantically picked out jacob's clothes for school. being stressed out probably makes you more alert since i managed to breeze through the first meeting without missing a single word. the driver came around 7am and i hopped in the car with my laptop and logged into the bridge through my mobile. it was a good thing my nephew wasn't his usual inquisitive self that morning so i managed to finish the meeting with just two pauses in between. i had another hour-long meeting after and then pretty much spent the time e-mailing and making follow-ups using my celfone. neat. the waiting for school to finish sucked big time by the way.
i realized i can't do this - juggle my meetings and still bring my nephew to school, not while mom is in the hospital and its mighty crucial right now since my project is at its peak. The only thing i can't think of right now is to pull-in all my meetings, and that means i will have to start work around 4am probably. i got back from jacob's school to find out i still had to cook lunch since my good-for-nothing brother was just lying there watching tv. such a sorry excuse for a human being. i am physically exhausted today, and mentally fatigued. i don't know how much more i can wing this, it gets tougher that there's not even time to shed a tear.
i managed to get back home around 5am, set-up my laptop for my 6am meeting and frantically picked out jacob's clothes for school. being stressed out probably makes you more alert since i managed to breeze through the first meeting without missing a single word. the driver came around 7am and i hopped in the car with my laptop and logged into the bridge through my mobile. it was a good thing my nephew wasn't his usual inquisitive self that morning so i managed to finish the meeting with just two pauses in between. i had another hour-long meeting after and then pretty much spent the time e-mailing and making follow-ups using my celfone. neat. the waiting for school to finish sucked big time by the way.
i realized i can't do this - juggle my meetings and still bring my nephew to school, not while mom is in the hospital and its mighty crucial right now since my project is at its peak. The only thing i can't think of right now is to pull-in all my meetings, and that means i will have to start work around 4am probably. i got back from jacob's school to find out i still had to cook lunch since my good-for-nothing brother was just lying there watching tv. such a sorry excuse for a human being. i am physically exhausted today, and mentally fatigued. i don't know how much more i can wing this, it gets tougher that there's not even time to shed a tear.
June 16, 2007
Ad : Photographer 4 Hire
Oly is a part-time photographer. I figured i'd post his contacts here just in case anybody is in need of a photographer for any occasion. I saw some samples of Oly's work before and they're quite good.
lessons through terror
i stood in front of the class last night trying my hardest to find the best fit answers to all of prof easy's questions to no avail. i was stumped with the first question and he continued to press on until i couldn't give him any satisfactory answer. i wasn't really that embarassed because i knew what will happen with the rest of the presenters - its being the first that sucks. i realized that behind the hard questions (and my bullet-ridden body), prof easy's trying to teach, or rather drill down into our thick skulls to understand FULLY what the frameworks are. and maybe this is how it comes down to - him having to use a sort-of radical approach to teaching because we become lazy to "really" understand and make the effort to "really" learn. i try to be optimistic that despite the subtle dissing of other professors, that i really did learn something from them. is it right for him to expect his students to be ready for class? definitely! is it right for him to expect everyone to remember everything from their past subjects? maybe, but that doesn't seem realistic. i imagine he wants us to understand the readings by ourselves, then apply it to the case and try to remember everything come presentation time. if we had more days of the week and we were not working, then maybe we could do all that - but realistically? there's pages and pages of materials he wants us to read, a thick case he wants us to analyze - research, discussions, a term paper to worry about - when does that leave time for ourselves? i know professor has only good intentions - that is undoubtful. in the big blue where i work, there are very few filipinos that are "real" managers and even less "great" leaders. undoubtedly, this is what prof easy is trying change. maybe he's trying to break our spirit, to make us stronger individuals so we can compete head-on in the organization. maybe its a baptism --- by fire and whoever emerges unscathed ultimately triumphs.
June 13, 2007
its fate
part of my & ali's e-mail exchange last night ...
"I realized pretty soon that some love, no matter how great and perfect it seems, are not meant to be. I decided to let go of mcb and all that mcb means to me in exchange for my sanity and peace of mind. It was disturbingly hard in the beginning and it took a lot of willpower just to keep myself from sending a note, an IM or an e-mail. Mcb was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of. And when I decided to quit, the withdrawal symptoms was pretty bad. Life though has a way of helping us forget - time does heal all wounds. McB might actually be my greatest love, but it wasn't meant to be!"
June 12, 2007
opm movie marathon
i managed to get copies of 4 opm's (original pinoy movies) over the holiday and diligently watched them in succession. while i enjoy foreign movies a lot, i enjoy watching pinoy movies specially the comedic ones because i know i'll definitely get a hearty laugh watching it. over the weekend, i finally managed to watch the following :
you got me - starring toni gonzaga, sam milby and zanjoe marudo. i'd have to say that i like "you are the one" better than this film though the story has its moments. ahhh what can i say, i'm a sucker for pinoy romance hahaha
ang cute ng ina mo - this was an ai ai starrer so i expected to get lots of laughter - and i wasn't disappointed. while i think "ang tanging ina" still tops this hands down, it also has its moments. luis and ann are a handsome pair and eugene domingo is a definite scene stealer. i laugh whenever she speaks with a "supposedly" australian accent.
zsa zsa zaturnnah, zee moveeh - i didn't know what to expect about this movie but rustom was definitely outstanding in this movie, and chocoleit was super funny. zsa zsa looked really gorgeous specially for her age. rustom was super pretty in this movie, complemented by an equally handsome alfred vargas. this movie is quite funny.
super noypi - hmmm, pinoy effects really getting better. not much to say about the story for this one. typical superhero thing, nothing we haven't seen before.
hahaha so these are the movies i spent my holiday on to catch up on filipino culture. they were quite enjoyable but i'd better get back to my tv shows.
you got me - starring toni gonzaga, sam milby and zanjoe marudo. i'd have to say that i like "you are the one" better than this film though the story has its moments. ahhh what can i say, i'm a sucker for pinoy romance hahaha
ang cute ng ina mo - this was an ai ai starrer so i expected to get lots of laughter - and i wasn't disappointed. while i think "ang tanging ina" still tops this hands down, it also has its moments. luis and ann are a handsome pair and eugene domingo is a definite scene stealer. i laugh whenever she speaks with a "supposedly" australian accent.
zsa zsa zaturnnah, zee moveeh - i didn't know what to expect about this movie but rustom was definitely outstanding in this movie, and chocoleit was super funny. zsa zsa looked really gorgeous specially for her age. rustom was super pretty in this movie, complemented by an equally handsome alfred vargas. this movie is quite funny.
super noypi - hmmm, pinoy effects really getting better. not much to say about the story for this one. typical superhero thing, nothing we haven't seen before.
hahaha so these are the movies i spent my holiday on to catch up on filipino culture. they were quite enjoyable but i'd better get back to my tv shows.
workout wonders
i finally managed to convince myself that i should go back to the gym after another two weeks of hiatus. the going-back to the gym plan hit a roadblock last time since after an excessive weight training regimen, my arms hurt for the whole week. lesson learned, you can't presumably pick-up from where you left off after being gone for almost a quarter.
i managed to do most of the exercises i planned for today, even doing a 10-min cardio (ok, babysteps) and putting in the ab exercises though its supposed to be on the next day set. But seeing the condition of my abs right now, i think i will benefit from doing ab exercises on a daily basis. hopefully this "going back to the gym" dedication i feel right now lasts just like last time. its really different when you have a personal trainer and you're paying extra to workout. I resigned myself that i will try planning my exercise routine without a trainer for now.
to reward myself for a job well-done at the gym, i had a big slice of mango bravo. i wanted to post a picture of it here but i thought "better not to spare me the laughter." hahaha well, its sister's birthday today so i had to have cake.
i managed to do most of the exercises i planned for today, even doing a 10-min cardio (ok, babysteps) and putting in the ab exercises though its supposed to be on the next day set. But seeing the condition of my abs right now, i think i will benefit from doing ab exercises on a daily basis. hopefully this "going back to the gym" dedication i feel right now lasts just like last time. its really different when you have a personal trainer and you're paying extra to workout. I resigned myself that i will try planning my exercise routine without a trainer for now.
to reward myself for a job well-done at the gym, i had a big slice of mango bravo. i wanted to post a picture of it here but i thought "better not to spare me the laughter." hahaha well, its sister's birthday today so i had to have cake.
June 09, 2007
second round @ tagaytay
after months (?) of planning & exchanging e-mails, we finally settled on a date to for a long-standing return to tagaytay. last time we went was in the middle of a strong typhoon when some (understandably so) canceled due to floods & power outtages. this time, there were a few first-timers (jap, mitch, richard & dino), a few from last time who couldn't make it (jim, notty) and some who still couldn't make it (reggie, tm). going out friday night and sleeping in around 230am is a no-no specially if you are going to meet friends riding with you at 630am. i did manage to get to the meeting place probably 5 mins after 630 but eric, as usual, arrived late. there was idle chatter during the short drive to mcdonald's where we're supposed to meet up with the rest of the gang.
the drive to tagaytay was fast. everyone was kind of curious about dino since it was his first time to hang out with the group. annie, in her usual inquisitive self, asked him about his gf and sort of cornered him into admitting that they're not together anymore. tsk tsk tsk, for the record dino, i did not say anything about it to anyone. when we got to the tagaytay resthouse, it was as magnificent as last time we were there - it was a perfect place to get away, a haven of sorts. we did our obligatory market shopping with shanda showing us how it was done that we kidded her that she's now the undisputed "palengke" queen. going to the wet market was surreal and i don't remember the last time i went in one. what remains vivid is how i used to go with mom to the wet market when i was very young - this before the advent & popularity of airconditioned supermarkets. meats, vegetables, fruits and beer - all set!
shanda's passion for cooking was evident during lunch time and jap doing her best tried to salvage the rice she was cooking to no avail. we ended up with jollibee rice + grilled tilapia, bangus and dada's adobo - yum! the rest of the afternoon was naptime for some and watching reruns of grey's anatomy's season 1. we decided to try going for badminton & swimming but the place where we were supposed to go was closed - bummer! we ended up hanging out at cliffhouse in tagaytay and was reminded how awesome it was to be out of the city, cool temp & all. dinner came at 9pm, again courtesy of shanda's cooking prowess and we started drinking probably around 10pm starting off with a bottle of red wine and san mig light.
"destiny" is a card game jim introduced to us last time we were in tagaytay. its actually a perfect game to get people drunk as the turnaround is quite fast, "casualties" even faster. by the end of the night, it was clear annie was the winner. dino richard & eric were buzzed from the game. i was buzzed just drinking. everyone else seemed fine. at past 3am, sleep felt like the best thing in the world.
imee, out of guilt likely, came out to tagaytay so early in the morning that meeting up with her pretty groggy seemed like punishment for the night before. breakfast of leftovers felt nourishing and it was obvious that morning that some were in better shape than the rest. we hanged out a bit more, took more pictures before we had to hurriedly leave around 1pm for some other engagements. i, for one, had to meet up with my groupmates for a school presentation all the way to rockwell.
all in all, it was a great weekend hanging out with friends. these are good people and i'm quite lucky with friends.
the drive to tagaytay was fast. everyone was kind of curious about dino since it was his first time to hang out with the group. annie, in her usual inquisitive self, asked him about his gf and sort of cornered him into admitting that they're not together anymore. tsk tsk tsk, for the record dino, i did not say anything about it to anyone. when we got to the tagaytay resthouse, it was as magnificent as last time we were there - it was a perfect place to get away, a haven of sorts. we did our obligatory market shopping with shanda showing us how it was done that we kidded her that she's now the undisputed "palengke" queen. going to the wet market was surreal and i don't remember the last time i went in one. what remains vivid is how i used to go with mom to the wet market when i was very young - this before the advent & popularity of airconditioned supermarkets. meats, vegetables, fruits and beer - all set!
shanda's passion for cooking was evident during lunch time and jap doing her best tried to salvage the rice she was cooking to no avail. we ended up with jollibee rice + grilled tilapia, bangus and dada's adobo - yum! the rest of the afternoon was naptime for some and watching reruns of grey's anatomy's season 1. we decided to try going for badminton & swimming but the place where we were supposed to go was closed - bummer! we ended up hanging out at cliffhouse in tagaytay and was reminded how awesome it was to be out of the city, cool temp & all. dinner came at 9pm, again courtesy of shanda's cooking prowess and we started drinking probably around 10pm starting off with a bottle of red wine and san mig light.
"destiny" is a card game jim introduced to us last time we were in tagaytay. its actually a perfect game to get people drunk as the turnaround is quite fast, "casualties" even faster. by the end of the night, it was clear annie was the winner. dino richard & eric were buzzed from the game. i was buzzed just drinking. everyone else seemed fine. at past 3am, sleep felt like the best thing in the world.
imee, out of guilt likely, came out to tagaytay so early in the morning that meeting up with her pretty groggy seemed like punishment for the night before. breakfast of leftovers felt nourishing and it was obvious that morning that some were in better shape than the rest. we hanged out a bit more, took more pictures before we had to hurriedly leave around 1pm for some other engagements. i, for one, had to meet up with my groupmates for a school presentation all the way to rockwell.
all in all, it was a great weekend hanging out with friends. these are good people and i'm quite lucky with friends.
June 07, 2007
planet earth
i was curious to see why bbc's "planet earth" was on the best show list on yahoo tv and after seeing the first of eleven episodes i finally understood why. this documentary is unbelievable! the shots, both aerial and in the ground was spectacular. even showing the changing of the seasons were done well that seeing this episode makes you realize how rich and magnificent the earth really is. i was really blown away after watching the first episode and i can't wait to watch the next ten episodes. if you are a fan of discovery or national geographic, try watching this series - i think its a must-have for your dvd collection. ang galing sobra!
June 05, 2007
and the bloodshed begins
its funny that even when you're expecting the worse scenario happening, you find out there's something to top that. i already expected questions about the ideas we threw in for our first strama case but as soon as easy started questioning the first group, i knew we, and everyone else, were screwed. everybody were grilled with the fundamental question "what's your basis?" i guess there's a lesson prof easy wanted to impart on everyone that night and despite looking foolishly dumb in front of the class, it made me realize the importance of understanding what you are reading. admittedly, i take most of what the textbook says for granted. it falls right smack on my short term memory that sometimes you try to memorize it just to be able to parrot it during recitation or exams. i reluctantly admitted by saying "i don't know" and "i don't recall." when he asked me questions i honestly couldn't remember any answer to. they weren't really hard, but the answers weren't at the top of my head. its becoming clear that there's really a lot of work required under easy so i'm really trying to figure out how to survive. i did ask about the big blue and he suggested i try to work on another company because a lot of people used it already. its a big problem - not having a company to start working on.
and yeah, maybe i asked for it but i was elected class president. everybody told me its a tough job but i guess there's no turning back now. and the bloodshed begins!
ps : i really really need to catch up on sleep. i've been sleep-deprived for the past 4 days my eyebags feels like they're over the weight limit. hahaha
and yeah, maybe i asked for it but i was elected class president. everybody told me its a tough job but i guess there's no turning back now. and the bloodshed begins!
ps : i really really need to catch up on sleep. i've been sleep-deprived for the past 4 days my eyebags feels like they're over the weight limit. hahaha
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