June 22, 2007

feels like i'm in "24"

i was trying to think of something more wittier for a title but i'm having a bit of a headache and the advils i took hasn't started working yet. it feels like i'm living lately by the hour since trying to juggle everything (work, school & life) is more difficult than i expected and 24 hours seem such a short period.

10:00 PM. decided to call it a day. finished 98% of a presentation material. sleep is a welcome respite, its the only time i get to stop thinking, slow down my over-active brain. it feels so good when you know that sleep is going to wash over you soon. there's a chance to rejuvenate. i utter a prayer mostly for my family and remember 3 things - to thank, to say sorry and to ask forgiveness.
03:30 AM. 5 1/2 of shut-eye. i should be feeling refreshed but somehow the short sleep the past few nights makes 5 1/2 hours seem like a nap - i can feel my body telling me to get some more but each hour for the next few is accounted for. i've stopped taking caffeine in the mornings so i'm trying to jumpstart my adrenalin with my head. i open my laptop and peer into where i left off and type in hurriedly. 30mins and its a wrap. presentation is neatly packaged.
04:00 AM. i rummage through my nephew's closet and figure will make him standout today. since i bought most of his clothes during my trips to the US, i pretty much knew what kind of clothes he had. i finally decide on a orange-striped t-shirt, cropped tan pants and his kid-cool black new balance rubber shoes. if i had clothes like these when i was a kid ... uhmmm ok, self-indulgent moment ...
04:30 AM. yikes yikes. i rush to take a shower, brush my teeth, pick clothes to wear. dang, my ensemble isn't as neat as my nephews. green shorts & an old navy shirt. havaianas slippers. technomarine watch. i take out reading materials for school and put it in my laptop sleeve.
05:00 AM. i dial in for my first meeting. i prepare for an hour-long conversation, netmeetings and whatever collaboration tool there is. this meeting is quite a challenge and i disposed of any pleasantries. 5mins into the meeting and we were having a verbal tussle - i was fired up. wide awake now. i felt i spoke better english when i was feeling like this. i fell short of the "aah" at the end of each sentence which plague most pinoys when conversing in english. funny for 'D to say that wasn't the intention of the questions yesterday and i told 'D that that may not have been the intention but it sure came out differently. whatever! no use crying over spilled milk. we ended amicably and hopefully much clearer with what was needed to be accomplished.
06:00 AM. my manager is asking me to spare a quick 10-mins to talk about some stuff. she, in a subtle, managerial way is telling me she is "stepping in" to help manage. i kept quiet through most of the 10mins. do they think i'm screwing up? whatever! she asked me if i can come to the US sometime in W29 and i politely say "no" - frac, i just realized i still need 410 miles to make 4 tickets to HK. after she finished with her "i want to help you" spiel, i just said "ok." hahaha i have to admit that conversation was depressing.
06:10 AM. had to log-in to another meeting. blah blah blah. leo was talking about the stuff that we've been having discussions since yesterday. while leo was busily talking, i was IM'ing a co-worker in the US about the conversation i had. she doesn't think i screwed up but she never thinks i can screw up anything anyway (hahaha!). i decided to send to the team the email i got from my manager along with the awesome presentation i crafted last night. for the record, i know how to tie all the work together contrary to what i think they perceive. i have an above average IQ no! hahaha self-indulgent again.
07:00 AM. ugh, glad the meetings finished earlier. my nephew though is acting up and doesn't want to go to school. i really need some patience pills right now. its a good thing he changed his mind after and started to dress up the fabulous ensemble i prepared for him. it was 15 past 7 already and to get to his school before 8, i'd have to drive really fast. i don't understand how much vehicles there are on the road at this hour. there are really too many vehicles that the government allows for the miniscule roads we have. that's commerce for you. btw, got to school 15 before 8 with my uber cool driving skills.
08:00 AM. i sit in the car, download my gmail from my treo. galing. i just recently managed to configure my email from my mobile to download my gmail so fascinated pa ako until now. i take out my school reading materials and read our case. i just realized i haven't read anything and i am way late in working on my case contributions. its gonna be a long night tonight. after finishing up my case, i felt the familiar feeling of tiredness so i gave in and doze off for a good 10-15mins.
09:00 AM. dialing in. these meetings never end. i like talking to leo though cause he's an optimist like myself. we talked about a bit on the email and he chose his words carefully short of saying that i have done everything humanly possible to manage the project given the circumstances but he did not deny the obvious, that the contact time was not enough for me to become an effective PM. tell me something i don't know. we talked about work more and before i knew it, we were actually over the hour. its pretty hot taking my meeting in the car but that was the only way to block out the noise. good thing i have a hands-free kit since i could feel my mobile is getting pretty warm.
10:20 AM. ten more minutes and my nephew's school is over. i see him from afar and feel a sense of happiness seeing him and calling me. he puts a smile on the people's face around as he says "bye bye" to his teacher. my nephew immediately asks me if we're going to the mall since i promised him this morning if he will dress up. not wanting to give him false promises, i decide to drive him to the mall and just ake an early lunch. this is the great thing about my work - i'm free to manage my own time.
11:00 AM. lunch came in the form of jollibee - he loves chicken & gravy and i've been eating it a lot of times because of him. it feels nice to have someone dependent on you and i love being with my nephew, tantrums & all. its nice to hear him say he loves you and surprises you with hugs for no reason at all or hear him talk non-stop and try to decipher what he means. we roamed around a few after lunch and i decided to let him play a bit on the playground in the mall. i told him i will let him play for a short time only since i had to go back and work. this is what i love about my nephew, as soon as i told him it was time to go, he didn't throw any fit and just held my hand and walked away.
12:00 PM. booting up my laptop. not a lot of emails. read through some mails. i see placeholders for the US face-to-face in my calendar. i try to recall the events of the morning and breathe a sigh of relief of the hiatus the coming weekend brings. school will be a welcome distraction. i just realized next week is a special week.
01:00 PM. gawd, i'm too tired my eyes are practically falling on me. i decide to take an hour nap to recharge. my nephew watching "dora" on my television, aircon in full. the aircon has been running full for 10-15 hours everyday - i shouldn't be surprised anymore why i paid up 7k in electricity bills just the other day. bummer.
02:00 PM. i woke up to the sound of my phone alarm. those damn alarms are becoming a pain. i need more sleep. the nap didn't really do a lot of good having been awaken in the middle of la-la land, my head was throbbing. i popped 2 advils and downed a bottle of one iced tea and checked what kind of emails i got since i slept an hour ago. hmm, nothing interesting.
03:00 PM. started to think through what i should go over with during my 330pm meeting. i opened up some materials which can help during the discussion but i expected it to be more free-flowing. i was meeting up with migs, who worked for me before and for some reason, we talked on the phone in english. hahaha weird, we would have understood each other perfectly with tagalog but it was actually easier to talk through the presentation in english.
04:00 PM. i called it quits when the clock struck 4PM. at least for that meeting with migs since he had to catch the shuttle. i decided to call it a day around 430PM and decided to write this entry instead. i'm gearing up to start reading the rest of the case readings.

pretty busy day right? i need a good restaurant, sit-down meal. a hot mocha and some cheesecake. comfort food. at least "transformers" na next week. =)

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