this world is getting small

everybody seems to be interested in photography these days.  the number of people at the photoworld exhibit in glorietta is proof of that.  after another round of jiujitsu open mat shoot at an uber warm 3rd floor of a venue mall, photo buds ohsie, joseph and i went to glorietta to hang out. 

i realized that there's really a lot of people with dslr's these days with gears & lenses to die for.  the world of photography is getting smaller that i'm beginning to wonder if there's still places left to fill.  its a good thing this thing is just a hobby, and that i'm still an engineer by heart.  the "art" part of me remains subdued and that is why i question how far my interest in this art will take me.  i'm still really enjoying it though, taking pictures and meeting so many friendly and talented people.  I'm meeting photographers whose works i truly admire, whose talent & skill i aspire to develop in the future.  the thing about photography that appeals to me mostly is that with it, i see the everything around as wonderful opportunities.

so even if i will be part of the multitude, i actually feel ok with it.  my photos are my own.  it is how i see the world around me.  some may find it ordinary but the important thing is "they feel extraordinary to me."

> one fine day : share a smile

we spent the whole day today at the C.H.I.L.D. Haus on a charity program organized by our friend eco.  now this guy, instead of the usual birthday party opts to spend it on an outreach program.  that is indeed very noble of him and he deserves props for it.

the thing about outreach programs is that it sure breaks your heart and this (CHILD Haus) being a home for kids with cancer was a sure tearjerker.  when i saw the kids as we got there, i had to hold back tears seeing how difficult it is for these kids.  i looked at all of the children, but i couldn't see deformity, or of cancer eating at them.  i looked at them and all i saw were very beautiful children, exactly how God wanted them.  These beautiful children are loved and despite everything, you can see genuine joy in their eyes.  it was a treat to be able to make them happy, to see them smile as we went through the program.  there were games and there were dances and there were songs.  we had excellent hosts who were all so funny people were just rolling with laughter.  i couldn't see any bored faces in the crowd the whole time we were there.

what's great about charity is that it brings together people who care, people who want to be part of something special.  when i heard about this charity event, i really wanted to help out.  its not everyday we get to do this - to try and make a difference.  i texted and e-mailed everybody like crazy, followed up whenever possible it almost felt like i was stalking them.  everybody wanted to help out and i'm going to take this space to thank everybody.

• to my generous friends from & off intel, you all know who you are.  thank you for the generous cash donations, for taking time to deposit them into my account.  thank you to lea for the shirts, they were great prizes for the games.  i'm glad i had super dami meal stubs, those helped me buy food from the cooperative.
• to my generous friends from MBA, thank you for chipping in.  i'm still amazed how supportive all of you are - isang text lang and you were all willing to help out.
• to my college friends. thank you gummi for donating two boxes of C2.  and to heidi for donating toys, books & clothes.
• to good friends malou for buying all of those boxes of goodies from monde (ok, kahit sa SM mo na binili hahaha) and em for buying 50 spaghetti meals from mcdo.

through your generosity, we managed to raise 15,000 pesos.  it might not be that big of an amount but that helps them buy rice for their everyday meals.  THANK YOU for sharing your blessings!

i have to say after today, it felt very good to have shared this day with everybody.  it was tiring.  it was hot.  and yet everyone shared the warm and fuzzy feeling of being part of something worthwhile.  Thank you Eco for letting us be part of this wonderful, wonderful project of yours.

here's a video of the children from CHILD Haus giving everybody a treat.

reflections on the big blue

after the big blue's announcement of closing down its facilities for good in the philippines, a number of friends sent me a note asking me if i was alright.  for the record, yes i am alright.  my decision to leave the company had nothing to do with that announcement.  i was already contemplating on moving a year back and when they made the announcement about consolidating the operations last year, the practical & logical thing to do was wait.  there was a good package waiting and it was something you just don't throw away.  i do feel sad because there are still people there who've pinned their hopes on a new factory.  life can sometimes have a way of screwing you up - rather it feels that way for a bit.  when you look around though, you'd see that its just a way of letting you see that there's a whole world out there.  there's life after the big blue.  i know that with certainty.  it may not be the kind of life we all have been accustomed to working for the last decade or so, but it is a new life nonetheless.

what i am most happy about is the outpouring of support.  of friends asking me if i am ok and of people asking me for my resume.  i'm happy because i know good - no, make that great people.  i have been blessed more than i could ever be thankful for.  so yeah, i know i'm going to be alright.

wed recap

• drive to the office in cavite --- i miss passing by daang hari and the bukids and seeing the cows.  plus side, heard my old senti cd's when i used the ford ... sing-along by myself.
• big company announcement.  anti-climactic because everyone kind of had a feel what was going to be announced.
• used a bunch of my meal stubs to treat a couple of friends.  bought some food stuff at the cooperative for the charity thing this weekend.
• rushed through my presentation materials for today's meeting
• drove to serendra.  no traffic - on a wednesday.  i'm feeling lucky.
• yum dinner at abe.  great company.  great conversation.
• caffeine fix at starbuck's.
• two awesome people sharing their workflow.  unselfishly teaching us new things about post-processing.  those are the true masters.  i am humbled by your overwhelming talents.
• slept at 2am. woke-up at 6am.  zombie mode.  another dinner tonight.  i'm on a roll.

> april 30, 2009

finally ... after waiting a long time ... its finally official.  my last day working for the big blue will be on april 30.  i was told i wasn't eligible for an early (feb) separation which is fine because april is just around the corner.  the next three months will just pass by unnoticed.  more than eleven years here seem like a lifetime - its time to move on.  i've got an mba degree to beef up my resume so hopefully that helps me get another job soon.  i have my reservations because risk makes you giddy like that but my minds made up.  you just know when its time to go.  the plus side - i get to spend time on photography.

april 30.  99 days to go.

and the countdown begins.

> ten things to be thankful for

i think this is something worth spending time on --- keeps me optimistic and appreciative of the big and small things in life.  a lot of people asks me why i'm mostly happy, the reason is simple --- there's just so much to be thankful for and a lot of people that helps me smile.

1. Giving me a restful sleep.  Waking me up refreshed.
2. Making me go to my dentist to have my braces adjusted -- finally, after putting it off for the last couple of weeks.
3. Chats i had with friends today which made me roll with laughter, smirk and vent my frustrations.
4. People who left comments in my site.  You all don't know how much i appreciate your words.
5. No issues at work today.
6. Friends who made donations or will be making donations to the charity event i'm supporting this coming weekend.  God bless your generous hearts.
7. The hugs & kisses i got today from my sweet 5yo nephew.  I love 'im more than life itself.
8. All the ideas/concepts for shoots, half-baked or otherwise, swimming in my head.  Just thinking about the next shoot makes me excited.
9. Cool BTS photos from the Eye-Candy shoot by one photograher whose works i admire so much ~ Ash Castro.  I got a picture with the master and other masters (lem, mj, etc) ... how great is that?
10. Finally, making a real good bolognese sauce tonight richly tossed in whole-wheat durum spaghetti.  now that was a really good meal.

I bet all of you have your own list of things to be thankful for ...

> seeing what its all about

we made plans to visit two project shoots yesterday - one by a personal fave (ash castro) and another by a group of extremely talented photographers.  being there (just to observe & meet people) i have to say is surreal - so this is how its done, the real shoots, the one where people flock to and have their photos taken.  there is so much to learn - not solely on developing the photography skills necessary to pull it off but also how to organize such a gathering.  if printing out a coffee-table book still is the culmination of this photography thing - are these events meant to pave the path towards achieving that goal?  maybe.

looking at what my eyes have seen, the people i met, the photos taken - i couldn't help but feel overwhelmed at the sheer talent these people have.  "why the hell am i doing this photography thing?" --- these people are worth looking up to.  they're just --- you know, great.  i guess the really good thing about having friends is that they encourage you and give you points to ponder.  big bro lem said these talented people have been doing this longer than we have - and sure they are extremely talented, but we all get better in time.  you can't find anybody else as humble, as nice and as talented as our big brother lem.  what's best still is that there are a host of other people who are as supportive - they're just great people i'm blessed to be keeping company with.

still, who knows where this road leads to, right?  stay on the path while i'm still having fun.

> Tribute: Ronald Ibay's "The Journey Begins"

one of the highlights of last night's gathering was a showcase of our good friend ronald's masterpiece of a coffee table book.  you can sense the awe in everyone's eyes as they peered into pages and pages of exquisite photographs.  it was truly a masterpiece and something each of us would love to have in the future.  maybe that is the culmination of this whole photography thing - to have a collection of works you could be proud of.  a collection of photos retelling a story of your own personal journey.  for some of us it has been a worthy distraction and for others more of a lifeline.

everyone was sharing their "ohhs" and their "aahhhs" on ronald's coffee table book.  it was doubly meaningful because it was something he was giving to his wife as a gift.  what more can you say to that?  all i can say is this --- kuya ronald, you inspire us!  you gave us something to aspire for.  and maybe its not going to be this year or the next, but i believe it will be forthcoming.

here is a page from kuya ronald's coffee table book.  if this was being sold, i wouldn't mind grabbing a copy.

*Grabbed this from Ronald's page.  Hope he doesn't mind.

> thursday night fun

finally managed to schedule some hang-out time with a few photography friends beyond the usual EBs and photo shoots.  surprisingly, there were a lot of people who went last night.  dinner at kitchen was alright - the best part of which was that kuya ted sponsored it.  thank you so much kuya ted, we are going to really miss you when you go back to london.  highlights here :

• the pandan iced tea from kitchen is caffeine-laden - kept me up the whole time!
• kuya teddy is a generous soul.  thank you kuya teddy! we'll really miss you dude!
• met mj for the second time tonight.  finally, di na dyahe i-add sya sa multiply!
• great to hang out with model friends jm & brian outside of the studio.  they're super fun guys.  hopefully next time, kumpleto na the kilabotz.
• kuya lem is really talkative.  i bet he spent a lot of time in the time-out corner growing up. hahaha
• ronald's coffee table book is unbelievable.  super impressive! everybody was in awe!  kuya ron, that was really something --- something for everyone to aspire for.   thank you for sharing that wonderful piece of work.
• paul is the baby in the group.  and so much talent at such a young age, he leaves a lot of people in tears.
• kuya lem, mj and joseph smokes.  malou & ted are givens. i kinda miss being bad.

and we know na when the conversation is fun and the company is right, you forget the passing of time.  no wonder we finished at around 2.  i think if it was a friday, we could've stayed a bit later.  had so much fun that i'm hoping this won't be the last hanging out.

gulp! so this is how the first time feels!

ok, so its not the kind of first time you might be thinking ... perv!

lem sent us a note early this week asking a few of us who lives south if we would like to take photos of candidates for a school pageant.  i did not really commit since it was a work day and i was set on malou & jayd covering the shoot.  i decided to tag along since the hours were moved when work is over already.

i ended up having to shoot some pictures since malou (toink!) decided to just do the BTS.  remind me to slap her next time i see her.  it was the first time i had to do a shoot by myself but doing so, i learned a great deal of what things i still need to learn.  doing a shoot by yourself - feels like your on stage about to make your performance. its scary and exhilirating at the same time.  having had no experience posing the models, i was happy that malou helped out pose the models.  posing the girls was easier - you just make them look pretty & a hint of seduction and you're done.  the guys - totally a different case.  one thing i realized shooting on location is before the shoot, you really need to get acclimated to your surroundings.  we kept on shooting on one side before we roamed around and found a location where light was better and created unbelievable drop shadows.

i realized also that shooting 14 people is tiring.  you can easily run out of creative juices half-way if you are not careful.

your year's worth

one of the things i like and dislike doing workwise at the end of each year is writing my accomplishment report.  but in a corporate world, writing a good summary can mean a hefty raise or can spell disaster career-wise.  i like the fact that at the big blue, there seems to be a solid process for evaluating employees.  its hard though when you're pitted against your peers, the only question burning in your head is whether you have done enough to upstage your colleagues.  whether there is going to be budget for an increase this year remains a question, the one thing i'm not sure off is if writing a good accomplishment report now makes a difference.  my date with destiny is on the 21st already - my boss is probably going to tell me what i want to hear - finally, phase 2.

i stare at the screen of my laptop right now mulling over how i should transcribe last year into something that has worth.  that is always the challenge - working this long, you'd think i'd have that down pat already.  but each year is a different story and hopefully i figure out the words soon ... specially since this was due last week. crap.

i love you PRE

so while i've settled (for now) with the nokia e71, i've gotta say that there's really something to look forward to this year.  and the anticipation and the waiting will most likely be worth it when palm releases the PRE this year to rival the iphone.  now i could have gone with the rest of the flock and got myself an iphone being a mac lover & all except that it didn't meet my needs.  my treo was by far and still is the best phone i've had.  PRE seems very promising - seems to have all the functionalities i need including a QWERTY keypad neatly tucked in.  i've never really taken a liking to a QWERTY touchscreen so having something to press is a big plus for me.  wonder how much it would cost when it comes out?  hopefully not an arm and a leg specially when i'm so trying to be really cost conscious.  but we'll see ... i can already feel my new baby! LOL!

check it out here :  PALM PRE

stardust

ok, so watching stardust again for the nth time made me realize how lame next month is going to be ... but here's one particularly poignant litany in that scene that just gets you to say "aawww."

(edited)

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say is... I think I love you. Is this love? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

and uhmmm yeah, i need a date.

> last song syndrome for the day

wala lang ... i just miss this song ... i just love this song ...  and i'm still super groggy ... didn't sleep a bit the whole day despite the lack of sleep ... oh well, hopefully tonight is restful.

Tori Amos - Sleeps with Butterflies.mp3 -

on the other side, i'm glad one of my guilty pleasures "gossip girl" is back!  as well as desperate housewives and brothers and sisters.  and my all-time fave "battlestar galactica" will be back this month for the final 10 episodes (sob!).  i can't wait to know the final cylon!!!

the cool thing i did is finding the adaptor i used to plug my bose headphones to my e71.  la lang, was trying to check if the sound came out good and yeah, this headphones really rock.  i have to use it more often for some ROI. hahaha  but realy, it sounded really awesome.

> insanity - part ii

so i did sleep past 3 and woke up to my fone blaring "viva la vida" by coldplay at the following hours ...

5:00 AM  > Are you frakkin' kidding me?

5:30 AM  > Testing lang kung magigising ...

6:00 AM  > Uhmm, ok have to post the freakin' presentation in sharepoint ...

6:30 AM  > Uy, get ready na para di naman bedroom voice ... lol!

6:45 AM  > Ok ... just sit there ... look at your laptop screen and uhmmm wait until 7 ...

7:00 AM  > Hi, this is jay santos (in a kinda slang para sosy) from cavite (kah-vih-tey) ...

         Hahaha crap, i'm still in topak/aliw mode ...

not to lift my own chair but i kinda rocked the presentation (lol!).  I talked fluidly and despite the ringing in my stupid wireless phone, i did hear most of the questions and i'd like to believe answered them quite convincingly.  i'm kind of happy that it went pretty well - they're probably still hung up on the holidays so they're in a jolly & forgiving mood ... not! hahaha (topak/aliw mode).

the problem with being a day person is that once you're awake, its pretty hard to get some shut-eye back and so i still sit here motionless waiting for hopefully the sandman to get me.  until then though, zombie mode!

*In the shoot last night, it kinda sucks that the models call you "sir" and use "po" and "opo" like you're some kinda ancient person.  when did i get to be so freakin' old?  dang, this is why i should stay away from the younglings, they slap you right on the face when they start being all respectful.  for the love of ... disrespect me! (and i mean that in a good way!).

(topak/aliw mode).

> insanity

i just got home fifteen minutes ago having been invited to a concept shoot with photography friends.  i probably am insane having stayed until past midnight knowing i had a presentation to senior managers scheduled tomorrow morning at 7am.  i always find it hard to collect my thoughts when i'm sleep deprived so i'll probably stutter a few during the presentation.  the shoot was a whole lotta fun - models were very easy to get along with and its always nice to hang out with co-photographers.  i think the best part here is the meeting of new people and a chance to have new friends.

two hours of shut-eye is better than none.  so i'll take what i can get.  alarm starts at 5am.

What's in store for 2009?

ok, here's hoping what is written is something that will come to pass.  it gives me hope.  got this horoscope for the CRAB from yahoo.  links on the title.

Year 2009 Career

This year, use your inventive mind and strong intuitive powers to help make some necessary changes in your career. It's time to create harmony with things that haven't quite reached your expectations, letting go of what you think are mistakes, and realizing that these are all stepping stones toward success. As you align yourself to your inner knowing and sharp business sense, your efforts will pay great rewards.

In the springtime, you will feel the urge to travel and connect with other cultures to help expand and enlighten your point of view, broadening your spiritual and intellectual values. Come summer, you may feel a bit introspective and choose to withdraw in order explore the subtle emotions and mystical depths of your being. Work in a mode of love and understanding of humanity, and in service to the life of the planet.

Prosperity is yours as you awaken to what is already inside of you. When you direct your emotions in a positive way, your fears will be released, allowing you to manifest what you want. The more you tap into universal knowledge, the more you are able to connect to your inherent power in a way you never dreamed possible. This is a time of great energy building, preparing you for the success coming in both your public and professional life. In your highest manifestation, your energy is invested in satisfying collective needs for the betterment of society.

Year 2009 Romantic

In order to attract a partner who is able to reflect your deeper self, make a conscious decision to build your relationships slowly carefully. This will help you cultivate a higher sense of enjoyment in your life. Let the lightness of music and dance help you get in touch with your playful nature -- which will make you even more attractive!

As you nurture your optimism, you're likely to attract a partner who is connected to that bright side of you. As the relationship moves to a higher vibration, it will be easy to be warm and affectionate with each other, creating a positive flow.

Come springtime, you may experience some confusion about committing to a close relationship. As you deal with the fears that come up, listen to your heart in order to make the best decision. If you can only see what's not working in your relationship, try and locate your stuck emotions, and then resolve them by seeing things from a different point of view.

Step into the magnificent abundance of who you are, and appreciate your own strong belief systems. As you awaken this part of yourself and allow the energies to flow freely, it will be much easier to form close emotional relationships and to feel loved for who you are.

Summertime will be wonderful for you, as you accept your true motives and discover a way to strengthen your connection to your dreams and your desires.

>last days before we hit the daily grind

its depressing knowing that my more than two-weeks of holiday vacation is about to end - just actually a few hours before i have to log back in, check my emails and clean-up two presentations i've put on hold before taking off.  two weeks really seemed to just breeze through what with all of the get togethers, family dramas and holiday celebrations.  despite the hectic schedule, it was actually a great two busy weeks.

the other thing i'm sad to see go are the holiday decorations that adorned the streets, the establishments and practically everything.  manila will be back to its "normal" self deprived of the joy the christmas holiday brings.  and valentines is just uber depressing for single lads like me.

i think one of the things that's pretty much stuck in my head right now is the realization that april is just around the corner.  leaving the big blue is becoming more and more real.  sometimes i ask myself if i'm really making the right decision given the circumstances but most points out that it is.  i guess my apprehension stems from the idea of not having a job after eleven years of stability.  i should feel comforted though that i have some security blanket leaving the big blue, sufficient enough to float us through until i move to another job.  i remain optimistic that everything works out.

i've put off writing a resolutions list - and i haven't done anything until today.  i feel like i've met 2009 without any preparation - with a "come what may" attitude.  that isn't really like me.  its comforting a bit to not be pressured into anything but i know i have to list down at least things i'd want to accomplish for the year.  on top of that of course is to shed off a whole lotta pounds gained from downing out everything in sight this holiday season.  exercise, diet and the whole enchilada (damn, even writing that reminded me of food) to get back into shape.  seriously, its time to burn, baby burn.

last hurrah for christmas. i bought a crumpler camera strap yesterday at high street.  it wasn't cheap but it just looked really cool i had to get it.

if i want to further my skills with this whole photography thing, i should start reading some of the e-books i've downloaded in my spare time.  add to that is really to exercise my creative head - so i should explore more on concept and location shoots this year.  i don't want to be left behind (lol!).  i need to learn, learn more.

i really want to travel more in 2009.  been aching to visit batanes and vigan for quite some time already so i might just do that.  i'm also planning on going to sydney this year since some of my mileage are expiring so i might just as well use it.  really lots of places i want to be in right now - i'm really hoping i get to do all that.

let's see what will happen in 2009.  its going to be another journey - one that's hopefully more rewarding than the previous years.