dying by the day ...

work has been a source of woe for me since the year started. i wanted to get back that old feeling of being excited coming to the office and working on my deliverables but lately, i couldn't get back into that driven-kind of mode. maybe i can get some of the magic back after focal download but right now, i feel like i'm dying by the day. i don't have that great big challenge, the thrill of the work, the kind of feeling wherein you wake up and your mind start making calculations. i used to drive to cavite going over the plans for my presentations, figuring out how to analyze the data --- it was a bit nerdy but i somehow find comfort in being pre-occupied. there's no room for other personal problems, there's just work --- and it helps me focus on the more important matters. maybe, work is some kind of fortress, wherein the solitude helps keep things sane and the problems beyond reach. today, there's not a lot of excitement, not a lot of those situations wherein you try to pit your talents with another and relishing the feel of winning. my job right now is to tell people how to do things - do this, do that ... how boring is that? its not even about the money anymore, i get paid a lot to sit down in some days daydreaming and waiting for the deadlines to work on my ar's so i can squeeze them all together and put undue pressure on myself to finish everything. its like being a masochist - except in my case, i function really really well under pressure. i think faster, work faster and turn out the better ideas when i am already pressed for time. so what am i doing about it? create a jobstreet account. post my resume. i dunno, explore my options. i am deeply bored with IE work already that perhaps its a good idea to see what lies behind the IE wall.