so this is what happy feels like

dear fish,

trixy and i were ym'ing each other until midnight talking about the state of happy we are in in the past few weeks. we're sort of kindred souls in the pursuit of happiness you know? each of us trying to sort through the sordid details of our so-called love life. surprisingly, we both are reconnecting with people that's taking our endorphin levels to an all-time high. and while we know these are fleeting moments of happiness, we still take it with open arms. i am amazed, however, how different you are when its only the two of us. the clown in you seem to take a backseat and you become more serious, more reserved. you baffle me. while there may be the ocassional chuckle, you really seem to be more prim & proper most of the time. i'd hate to think you still feel uncomfortable showing your funny side to me considering we've known each other for quite some time already. or perhaps show that there is also a serious side to you. believe me, you don't have to do that cause i see everything about you.

do you believe in coincidence? i don't. i believe that things happen for a reason. your timing last night was perfect, it was as if you knew i needed help and you came as my knight in shining armor. galing.

i don't know how long the endorphins are going to last right now. i wish to God it never ends but i know this is fleeting. i realized though that i'd rather have this you & that me right now than not have you at all. maybe someday, you will see that i have always wanted what's best for you and i have never asked for anything in return. maybe then, you will finally see me.

love,
yuan*