to my classmates ...

here's the farewell remarks i gave to my STRAMA classmates during the closure of our class party yesterday ... just scribbled something fast for the class party ...

"Can you believe 14 weeks has passed and we can say with confidence that we made it through the experience of Prof. Elfren Cruz.

I remember seeing everyone during the first day of class – most expecting the worse, some having no-clue of what they were getting themselves into. Prof. Elfren starting the first session subtly – we laughed on the first day not realizing it was going to be the last time we would do so. It was probably because there was a lot of work to be done or probably because Prof Elfren never really cracked any jokes. He was really serious in making sure we learned something – in a rather different style we were not accustomed to.

Most of us wished we did not have to stand in front of the class during the presentations – those were pretty embarrassing moments most of which were captured eternally in audio. Yes, Prof Elfren, we liked the lessons that much that we recorded it so we can relive the “experience” probably even after we’ve passed our OCE’s.

STRAMA was a really humbling experience. No one, no matter how smart or witty, escaped being on the hot seat. The questions and the sarcasm taught most of us to be more confident during presentations. No one broke down and no one gave up.

My classmates probably belong to the finest lot I have the pleasure of being with during Mondays. The class officers I worked with were dependable, responsible and easy to work with. These are very fine people I see right here.

Prof Elfren is unforgettable. He truly lives up to his reputation. We learned a lot over the past 14 weeks – lessons that I know everyone here will remember as we go our separate ways.

Thank you Prof Elfren. Thank you classmates. I am happy to have shared this experience with all of you."

i could be ....

for quite some time my hearts not really been with work and the only thing that keeps me to it right now is the very thing i told myself should not be a reason to hold on. in a way i guess there are circumstances that forces you to change your perspective and this is one of them. yes, i'm staying because i'm supporting the fam - and i'd have to tread carefully because unfortunately for me, i don't really have the same options i had when my sister was still working and i was chipping in only a wee bit on the expenses. today, life is different - in some ways maybe its time to face up to major responsibilities i've been free from for the last 32 years. but this isn't what this post is all about.

not being "happy" with work makes you ponder about what life would be if i wasn't an engineer or if i stayed with Bench like my good friend D. its not that i have regrets with the career choices i made - its probably more of "how life will be if i was a - (insert job here!)" i guess this is one of the reasons why i love this nokia commercial so much because it sums up everything that i feel right now ---- and yes, i feel like working for the past 11+ years, i deserve a break. i deserve to do something i love. like maybe take that european tour i've been dreaming for so long. or maybe explore places i've not been to before. i want to be a traveler. i want to experience the world.

and the countdown begins ...

fall is almost here ... i'm marking my calendars this september & october ...

SUN		MON		TUE		WED		THU		FRI		SAT
16		17		18		19		20		21		22
		Prison Break
23		24		25		26		27		28		29
		Heroes Journeyman		Reaper House		Gossip Girl Bionic Woman Private Practice		Smallville CSI Grey's Anatomy Ugly Betty Big Shots		Ghost Whisperer
30		1		2		3		4		5		6
Desp Housewives Bros & Sisters						Pushing Daisies		Supernatural		Friday Night Lights

so many shows to watch out and painstakingly download ... can't wait for grey's! this is not the full fall schedule, i only placed here the shows that i'm interested in checking out! =) Lost is still mid-season so that'll be sometime in november/december along with battlestar galactica!

the morning after

still up after slaving the entire night on the last portions of my strategic management paper. i can't believe i managed to stay up with no shut-eye and still function at this hour. my brain is a little sluggish right now but there's a feeling of relief seeing the last page of what i've been working at for the last two weeks finally finish printing. i was so worried that printing it in colored will wear my cartridges to the point where the warning lights will start blinking and i'd be left with x number of pages left unprinted. but yes, i've managed to print everything - all 122 pages of it. being the OC that i am, i'm bothered that the prints weren't as perfect as i wanted and i forgot to label all of the figures and tables (but who cares, they're at their right places). right now, i am just happy that the paper is done - finito! just need to find a place to get it ringbound. i should feel much more relaxed now.

some people i'd like to thank ....
those who were selfless in sharing their papers (arlene, malou, annie, cheryl) ... thank you! you don't know how much benchmarking from your papers has helped me! your papers were my saving grace! i will assure you that i will pay it forward.

ria vita and anna rosette ... my classmates and constant ym buddies, knowing you were in the same space as i was in doing the paper made me feel less panicky about completing the paper. this is it gals, just the dang balanced scorecard and the finals and we're done! Now let's pray he gives us at least a 3.5 on our papers and i'll be really happy!

my mba buddies (annie, eric, jap, imee, richard, dada, tm, dino and jim) who continuously encouraged me that i can do this --- thank you! i miss hanging out with you guys so much.

RCBC, 12noon! Hope there'll be some good news next week when he returns the paper back.

this is it ...

this is it ... the last leg of the race to complete my strategic management paper. i'm down to the last half of implementation and then i just have to slave over the financial projections. I downed some extra-joss already anticipating a stark, cold night working on my balance sheets and income statements. good thing classes remains suspended tomorrow which means i don't have any class giving me the entire morning to finish up, print and find some place to get it binded. nice huh? too much blessings, i couldn't begin to say thank you - God has been really good helping us with this paper by giving us more time to work on it.

so to my classmates, after we're through with this paper, let's all offer our thanks to God for all the breaks we got! God is eternally good.

a welcome reprieve

looking at my progress in writing my strategic management paper, it sure is obvious that i am a bit behind. meeting a 6pm deadline at rcbc tomorrow night sure is going to be a challenge. i was already expecting a really long night tonight, at least to get through the the next chapter on functional strategies. its a stretch but if i won't be able to finish that, then i'm going to have to cram the implementation plan and the financial projections tomorrow. the implementation plan probably would be easier, the financials sure will take some more time.

i got a text from prof E around 3PM asking me to call him. i dutifully pressed "call sender" to see if there were any additional instructions. Lo and behold, he was moving the submission to saturday noon because he is going to have a make-up class tomorrow night at taft because the weather canceled his class tonight. It was hard to hide how happy i was hearing this welcome news. That gives me at least two more nights to work this thing out. Probably slaving on it the whole day tomorrow at least will help me put this paper in better shape. God must have heard a lot of my classmates cry for help that he saw fit to hand us a reprieve. God is really good. Thank you Lord for this welcome reprieve. Hopefully, we won't squander this gift you are giving us.

And that's what having faith is all about.

you can never can tell - part 2

if you haven't read part 1, read it first ... the laughter continues here ...

> I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven
> only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay
> received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking
> feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero
> sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang
> ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to say.
> Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl
> yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit
> di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?
>
> Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
> After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on

> Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabi
> na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it.
>
> So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what

> are friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had
> to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug
> down rate.
>
> When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di
> basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.
> It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard.
> Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti
> na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."
>
> When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang
> nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a
> bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a
> room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.
>
> Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis
> ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that
> Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower
> my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron
> is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I barraged
> in. O my gas! Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig
> sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was
> bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend
> niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko
> napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.
>
> Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search
> and rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.
>
> Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I
> know it's a better pill to swallow your friend so it's forgive and
> forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put
> on makeup.
>
> Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is
> really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms
> persist, insult your doctor.

you can never can tell - part 1

this was so stinkin funny i had to share it ... a lot must have read about this already since you know how fast e-mail travels these days ...

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother.
Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really
fast. Cute pala siya.

And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla
siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya!
I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm
running our time.

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here.
" What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I
told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to
get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of
steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman.
Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please,
mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell.
Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts.
If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
soul. I second emotion.

can i make it?

i'm not really a pessimistic person but listening to the presentations tonight and the questions asked, it feels like the next few chapters of the paper is going to be a bigger challenge than i was expecting. i think i need to step back and look at how things or each framework all tie together. the questions thrown to the presenters seem brutal, condescending and sarcastic but they serve their purpose. the presenters are our sacrificial lambs - the class in a way owes the learnings tonight to them. the bad thing about knowing the pitfalls and the errors of how we are writing our paper is that it tells us we have A LOT of things to pay attention to. one miss can potentially open up to a lot of questions.

i am so thankful to malou for providing me resources - what she provided is a great reference and maybe my saving grace. so malou, i know we've only known each other for a short time but thank you so much for helping out. i am super grateful.

honestly, i am starting to feel the pressure of writing the next chapters. i need to ask my manager to take the rest of the week of. if i can't focus on just writing this paper full-time, i will not be able to make it. i'm crossing my fingers.

the clock is ticking ...

i'm usually very good at planning things up (at least for the near term) - i'm the type of person who goes out of the house with a specific agenda in mind. yeah, i'm the type of person who likes to know where he's headed. is that really such a bad thing? maybe. i guess getting old makes you more conscious and less adventurous. after all, the clock of life is ticking right? at 33, i can say that i've been more fortunate than some of the people i've known. people who have gone ahead into the light. losing them makes you realize how fragile and short life can be. and so i try to live my everyday - because what matters is today. tomorrow will take care of itself.

this post was actually about an update about how i'm doing writing my strama paper (your thesis equivalent in college) but somehow i digressed as i started tipping on the keyboard. so many thoughts swimming in my head right now - i guess that's why its hard to form one cohesive thought. back to strama, i'm starting up with module 3 tonight, there are 7 total modules so i'm hoping that i'll be able to finish module 3 this weekend. the succeeding modules as they say are easier - and i'm praying it is. its funny cause i still feel calm even when the deadline is next week - in a way this is good. while i work well under pressure, panicking can be very stressful. i talked to the class president from the other class and so far it seems the professor hasn't extended their deadline. i told him to text the professor relentlessly - after all what has he got to lose right? he can always say, it was his responsibility as class president to fight for the best interest of the class. if he fails - at least he tried, right? frac (for most of you who don't know, this is the favorite expletive in the tv series "battlestar galactica"), i just realized how i can preach to others what to do but then lack the conviction to follow the same advice in certain cases. what i'm saying is sure, when it comes to those kind of things - i have no doubt i can do it - if he shoots me down, at least i go down in a blaze of glory (lol, baduy!). the thing is - when it comes to love, i don't think i'll be able to follow-thru. i would have wanted to tell mcb how i felt - not in writing, but really just say it - let mcb know how i felt and just put it out there in the open - no expectations. and then we can go back to being friends. puro segue ang post ko right now - told ya my head is all messed up.

i definitely need a glass of wine. i need some form of relief. and i definitely need to go back to the gym.

wealth disposal

this week, we sold two of our cars - my dad's old toyota corolla and my sister's honda civic. my sister decided to sell her car when she was still in the hospital mainly because she was going to stop working and we needed the extra cash to cover the hospital balance. she was teary-eyed when the buyer took the car finally today. i guess seeing the only major purchase in her life going was saddening. in a way it is and i may never probably understand it fully because i am not one to get tethered with material things. besides, six cars for a family of five is a luxury and not a practical choice. we still plan to sell the van and hopefully get the other honda civic in working condition. i wonder what the neighbors think seeing us selling some of our assets - i can just imagine their tongues wagging and gossiping. been in this neighborhood a long time to not know how much people talk about other people. and for the record, i don't participate in idle gossip - heck, i don't even know half of the people in the neighborhood. we still have my car and my SUV and maybe when we get to breathe better financially, we can get another car for my mom and sister - a second hand car ain't that bad. its a good thing i did not sell my car when i got the SUV, for one its one of the well-maintained cars and still runs perfectly. we're not going to be poor - as long as i have a job.

slow and steady turn

the good news is that my sister is well enough to go home today and i'm just waiting for mom to call so i can pick them up at makati med. bills aside, i am so thankful for all the people who have offered prayers for my sister's recovery. there's still a long way to go and i've been scouting the web and the bookstores for books that might be worth a try to manage her condition better. so far i've found this book and has asked a friend in the US to buy it at barnes and noble. hopefully it gets here with some old friends traveling from the US next week. the bill is staggering - definitely a financial drain but God has given us options at least on how to work it out. what i pray for now is for my sister's continuous recovery. hopefully, next next weekend, we will be able to make that trip to manaoag to say our thank you's.

the other good news is that the strama term paper deadine has been extended to friday next week (instead of monday) along with certain conditions. 4 more days is reason enough to shout for joy. i sat down and did a portion of chapter 2 yesterday and looking at how much work needed for it, it was realistically not possible to put everything together for monday. so while i am taking off today on a supposedly dedicated time for the paper, bringing my sister home is a much more worthy endeavor. sleepless nights once more.

what's the thrill in having good news if there isn't a sorta-bad news attached to it yes? its not really bad, bad YET but me not planning ahead 5 years is different than me setting up plan B, and C, and D is another thing. short version is that my manager told me that they're transitioning me to a yet unspecified role. the good news there is that i'm getting what i asked for - me, not being tied down to the project i'm working on long-term. the bad news is that (a) the way this thing is playing down leaves a lot to be desired; (b) not having anything specific defined is definitely something to worry about; and (c) i hate all of the stupid answers and seeming dishonesty of it all. and so i took my cue, put plan B (sending out my resumes to other firms) and plan C (checked jobs online --> internal openings and actually applied for one job) in motion. it seemed that the internal application still flags your manager thru email that you have applied. busted! so i got a note from my manager about it and since i'm off this week, i'm putting if off until next week to talk about it.

next week is definitely going to be an interesting one.

sweeping the net

can you believe we made it to the yahoo news headlines? its not even about politics or a natural disaster. the "thriller" video about inmates in cebu doing dance as exercise has swept the web by storm. by storm, i mean 3,799,253 views in youtube. yes, that many and i'm pretty sure after making the headlines, that number is going to go up even more.


watch it in youtube : thriller

the problem with ...

the problem with me is that i love to procastinate. or rather, it seems i work better under pressure and this is something i'd probably be able to put to the test next week when i try to do most of my strama paper full-time. yes, i took the whole week off to be able to attend to researching and writing my paper. its going to be a challenge and for some weird reason i am not panicking - yet! i guess i've been pre-occupied too much lately that panicking appears to be taking a backseat to most things.

tonight i am going to write up my inputs for our case on monday and i probably should at least try to write a piece of my paper. who knows, maybe i will be able to turn up a more than average strama paper - hahaha who am i kidding? the good news though is that it seems i'm doing really well on my elective (inventory management) and if things work well, maybe there's still a chance of graduating with honors. well who knows right? we have to power to make possible the impossible. its all a matter of attitude. oh yeah, and hard work.

job fair today @ la salle. i submitted my resume to kraft, hsbc, kaisa consulting and accenture. i'm not really looking at anything specific, just wanted to hand out my resumes in case you know, there's an opportunity. nothing wrong with that. work has been a bit of a downer lately - me wanting to get out of being a program manager is happening sooner than i was prepared for. i should feel glad about it because in some way it was what i want but the only problem is that i don't have anything specific to work on after. although they'd tell me in two weeks time, that puts me in limbo - and me being the sole breadwinner in the family, that is not acceptable. so yeah, i'm checking my options.