i'm usually very good at planning things up (at least for the near term) - i'm the type of person who goes out of the house with a specific agenda in mind. yeah, i'm the type of person who likes to know where he's headed. is that really such a bad thing? maybe. i guess getting old makes you more conscious and less adventurous. after all, the clock of life is ticking right? at 33, i can say that i've been more fortunate than some of the people i've known. people who have gone ahead into the light. losing them makes you realize how fragile and short life can be. and so i try to live my everyday - because what matters is today. tomorrow will take care of itself.
this post was actually about an update about how i'm doing writing my strama paper (your thesis equivalent in college) but somehow i digressed as i started tipping on the keyboard. so many thoughts swimming in my head right now - i guess that's why its hard to form one cohesive thought. back to strama, i'm starting up with module 3 tonight, there are 7 total modules so i'm hoping that i'll be able to finish module 3 this weekend. the succeeding modules as they say are easier - and i'm praying it is. its funny cause i still feel calm even when the deadline is next week - in a way this is good. while i work well under pressure, panicking can be very stressful. i talked to the class president from the other class and so far it seems the professor hasn't extended their deadline. i told him to text the professor relentlessly - after all what has he got to lose right? he can always say, it was his responsibility as class president to fight for the best interest of the class. if he fails - at least he tried, right? frac (for most of you who don't know, this is the favorite expletive in the tv series "battlestar galactica"), i just realized how i can preach to others what to do but then lack the conviction to follow the same advice in certain cases. what i'm saying is sure, when it comes to those kind of things - i have no doubt i can do it - if he shoots me down, at least i go down in a blaze of glory (lol, baduy!). the thing is - when it comes to love, i don't think i'll be able to follow-thru. i would have wanted to tell mcb how i felt - not in writing, but really just say it - let mcb know how i felt and just put it out there in the open - no expectations. and then we can go back to being friends. puro segue ang post ko right now - told ya my head is all messed up.
i definitely need a glass of wine. i need some form of relief. and i definitely need to go back to the gym.
No comments:
Post a Comment