the good and the bad

the veil of gloom has been officially lifted after my meeting this morning. after agonizing so much as to what have gone wrong and the resentment i felt, i'm leaving the bitter part of the last three months in the past where they belong. while my resentment has not fully subsided, what i learned is that i was foolish to think that i could play the game without getting my hands dirty. naivete aside, i learned a valuable lesson - never underestimate the enemy because they come in different forms and if you aren't careful, they can sneek up on you. the rest of the year is starting to look brighter.

unfortunately, dad did not make it when the poll results were tallied. politics is unbelievably dirty - those who want it badly has resorted allegedly to vote buying. witnesses reported that one candidate was handing out sample ballots with P300 bucks and another one with P500. and dad, who decided to run late in the game and who did not really have money and a financial backer to run stood no chance. coming in at #3 without any dole out on his part says something. he ran a clean campaign - and while it wasn't enough to land him the post - that is enough to be proud.

barangay elections

we went to the mandaluyong voting precint quite early this morning to support dad who incidentally was egged on to run for barangay chairman instead of his original plan as kagawad. in a way its good that he's certainly found his calling in barangay politics. i hope that despite the dirt of politics that dad wins. having this responsibility will certainly be good for him.

even though we moved to the southside when we were still younglings, we grew up in mandaluyong. we went there weekends and we fought over who would accompany mom to the wet market. we played with our cousins and the kids in the neighborhood in mandaluyong and despite the distance, we had fun growing up. all our first cousins, save for one family, lives in mandaluyong. both grandparents from both sides lived there. it was the first time after so many years i went back there and its so different now from how it looked the last time. the kids we grew up with all look grown-ups now - quite honestly they all look kind of older than i or my sister do. i remember during college that i used to spend part of my summer there - it was really fun there but people there were quite laid back. the last time i was there was when my grandma (mom's side) passed away - after that, there were no more family reunions - she was the tie that bound us together.

my finger is stained right now with indelible ink. it looks pretty much like a dead nail, only purplish but i'm glad that i exercised my right to vote - and gave my support as a son to my dad. hopefully, things work out for him - God willing.

Recipe : Gonzaga BBQ

i got this recipe from a magazine one time i was doing some pampering. i've tried this and i'd have to say its quite a good BBQ recipe. Aside from grilling, i prefer to turbo broil it (healthier alternative) which is actually an easier cooking alternative.

1kg meat (pork kasim, i prefer to use pork ribs)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup banana ketchup
3/4 cup sprite or pineapple juice (i prefer to use sprite)
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 to 2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tbsp liquid seasoning

1. marinate the meat at least overnight. 2 or 3 days makes it much more tastier.
2. grill over medium heat or broil it (turbo broiler or oven).

enjoy.

old faces

ali finally managed to pull everyone into a get together last night. considering it was a saturday, there were quite a bunch of us - ali, trixy, van, ice, ria, allan, iam and jowell. it was nice to see the old gang together even at least for a few hours that night. ice, ria, van and allan i see from time to time when i go to the faraway office. i last saw ali before her palawan trip, trixy as she sped past me at c5, iam before she packed up from intel and jowell during his farewell dinner last year.

just a couple of years back, driving to cv was pretty well worth it being able to hangout and see these people i've come to call friends. we actually had a great time back then - lots of gimiks, drinking spree's, kapihan sessions - working with them 5 days a week made them like second family. those were the days i miss the most. now, most have taken on new adventures, met new friends - its nice we can steal some time like this. and while we don't see everyone as often, hopefully these infrequent get togethers will be enough to keep the friendship alive.

i am happy though to have me a really great bunch of friends.

still another week of waiting

the conference call yesterday went quite well - when i want to, i can be quite persuasive, charming and believable. not that i said any lies nor embellished even a bit, when i'm in my element i can be more expressive. there were some more additional questions and i really thought it was time to crunch the numbers but it seems we all have to wait for another week for them to consult with the boss. as far as things are going, they said all vibes are positive.

so far so good then.

almost within reach

everything seems to be unfolding faster than i expected - its exciting but at the same time it scares me. if everything works out, its life changing. tomorrow or the next day, sort of a make or break event. God-willing everything will work out. I just realized i'm thirty-three already (yeah, frac!) - don't really feel and look that old (wala na kokontra) - to be at this stage in life. at a crossroad where choices affect how life moves forward from that point onwards. i'm not yet at that crossroad but i am almost there - and i shiver at the thought of having to make that decision soon. i have to keep things in perspective though and remember that the sacrifice will be well worth it. i know already what decision i will make if all the pieces fits perfectly - its just hard to let go of the familiar.

i guess there really is no right time or right place when and where this happens - life changing decisions. i take consolation in diane lane's "under the tuscan sun" that despite the adversities, the trials and the heartaches - life will be better. hopefully, sooner than we expect.

its almost within reach - just need to pray harder.

when its better not to ...

when is it better to know something? when is it better not to say something? i struggled to find a reason to take the plunge and finally be able to have some peace of mind - and i was really deadset on doing it already but somehow i couldn't. i rationalized that sometimes its better not knowing so that whatever lies ahead in the future remains a mystery. maybe i'm making the wrong decision but i choose to leave the future to God's hands.

this is the problem with my head - i overthink and overanalyze a lot of times. as i was pondering on what happened, i wondered what would have happened if i told mcb how i really felt. but i realized that i could never do that - i guess i don't really have the guts on some things - and sad to say, this isn't one of them. i never really was good at expressing my feelings - anger yes but not the lovey-dovey, pa-cutesy kind. yeah, i can be an emotionless bastard at times but that's me, and that's my way of coping. i've had years of practice. and i've had a lot of people that made doing that easier. not trying to care too much makes it easier not to get hurt.

life then remains a mystery.

house md - season 3

being housebound by choice for the past week allowed me to finish watching season 3 of house (though i still have to catch season 2 hahaha). this was in between my recent addiction to season 2 of pinoy big brother's celebrity edition. admittedly, pbb has its funny moments and that's probably why i'm sort of glued to it. but going back to house - hugh laurie is awesome as dr. gregory house, he can be funny, endearing, hateful but brilliant all at the same time. i'm quite glued to keeping tabs of house right now specially since season 4 started off quite interestingly - with house trying to replace his previous team of cameron, chase and foreman.

house is one of my new favorites. and yeah, hurrah for staying at home.

such a sad day

i heard the news about the supposedly lpg-related explosion at glorietta mid-afternoon and then realized the extent of the damage to people and property in the primetime news. 8 dead and more than 90 wounded with possibly more trapped in some of the debris caused by the explosion. looking at the damage caused by the explosion, it seems impossible to have been caused by lpg, unless the storage room (of luk yuen) had a gigantic lpg which is doubtful. so i'm left to assume that the explosion was caused by explosives. if it was caused by explosives, how can the people responsible live with themselves. people are dead and a great multitude is injured. there is no justice in taking a life and those who are responsible will surely burn in hell.

its scary because glorietta is a mall i frequent and we were just there last weekend. i'm just glad last weekend was a normal and safe day since i was with my mom, sister and my nephew. i realized when you have kids, you become a bit paranoid - safety is paramount. there's probably no malling for the time being right now.

keep safe.

caution : improvement required

i like order and when things don't go according to plan, i can't help but get irritated. two weeks ago in the oce briefing i had all my questions lined up specific to those details that wasn't part of the instructions released in the email. i thought at that time i had all my questions answered already and all my classmates who planned on taking their OCE will be able to pass their requirements without a hitch.

i dutifuly went to RCBC a few minutes past 11 mindful that i had to finish all the binding and photocopying before the clock hit 12. i got my copies binded and asked about the eaf and the oce payment which "they" said during the briefing we could pay at the campus where we planned to submit our papers. when i asked T about it, she told me that i had to go to the taft campus to print my eaf and make my payment. i chanced upon ms. p and asked about it and she said i could pay with T. so i went back and told T about what ms. p said and another round of discussion happened. i was trying my best to be patient but this typical run-the-mill scenario was not a first time. T was saying they were just following instructions about not receiving payments blah blah blah. it took another discussion with ms. p before she made a decision and told T to accept my and another classmate's payment. i wouldn't have been irritated if only they told us it was the policy during the briefing but that was one of the questions i asked. to top it off, the transcript of records we requested were not available yet.

its irritating because stuff like this, they should have this nailed by now seeing the OCE happens every quarter. T should also try to learn to be more helpful to the students - ms. p at least made a decision for the best interest of the students. it would have been nice at least for T to have made an effort to offer to clear it up with ms. p when i told her about ms. p's answer when i asked her. i'm irritated because i follow rules, i follow instructions --- to the letter. so when they who give instructions doesn't follow themselves, it ticks me off. and i won't even go into the details about an 1145am oce briefing that started more than an hour late.

i really hope they can improve the system - its becoming a burden when it shouldn't be. sometimes its so easy for them to just ask the students to do things and go wherever. hey, there's parking, there's gas, there's toll expenses which they don't shoulder. our time is as precious as theirs.

really. its a major bummer.

wonderful surprise - part 2

true to his parting words, i got a callback right in the middle of a phone conference i was chairing for another round of q&a. this time, i had to ask them to call me back in the afternoon. truthfully, the call got me excited and it sort of eclipsed whatever feeling of dejection reading the e-mail from a recent prospect telling me they're considering other people. i felt a short pang of regret because i knew the outcome was inevitable. i wasn't ready that time, i wasn't in my element and i knew i wasn't giving the best answers. i'm not making excuses - i'm trying to remain analytical and critical so i know what went wrong and avoid making the same mistake the next time. luck swung in my favor when another prospect followed up my reformatted cv and sample work - that would mean i'm still in the running right? 2 out 3 was too much a blessing already.

i missed the call in the middle of lunch but she called back late afternoon. we had another round of q&a's and i thought i did well. talking on the phone is always easier. i learned some details about the work and about it being a junior position. i'm not really hung-up on titles, i'll be happy as long as i like what i do. it seems now that the decision criteria here if things work out will be the "moolah" package.

driving home thursday, my thoughts of "wow, no phone calls today." ended my phone rang with that area code. she said somebody by chance will be here in Manila and they would like to set-up another q&a - on a sunday. i readily agreed being it probably will take only a few minutes in the morning. it feels like this is really an urgent need because they're really fast tracking it. i'm happy that it feels like my chances for this is getting higher each callback but at the same time i worry about other things - am i ready for this? will i pass my medicals? am i ready to move and not see my nephew everyday? i remain hopeful that this is part of His grand plan. i remain hopeful that everything will work out. God is good.

nothings final until its final.

wonderful surprise

personally i'm not one who loves surprises - at least not when i'm at the receiving end. it must be the OC in me, the one who likes to see things clearly ahead - at least in the short term. i just like things in order - yeah, OC talaga.

i received a call from my mobile phone mid-afternoon. it was an unexpected call, and as soon as i answered i knew from the sound of his voice he wasn't filipino. it turns out to from someone i worked with before, who i left a good impression on that he called me asking me about a recent opening i applied for. he said he'd set up an interview since he didn't want to influence the hiring manager who incidentally reports to him. i don't know how this will play out but i am just glad of the opportunity by itself. if things work out, its the fulfillment of a wonderful dream. and a chance to give my family more than i can give them right now. it also means leaving a life i've known for the past 33 years and starting over. but maybe that's where this road should lead me. right now, only time will tell.

friday. monday. and now tuesday. i'm making headway.
i remain hopeful because God is good.

reliving the victorious moments of game 2

its amazing that despite winning, DLSU still has to contend with a lot of insinuations from rival schools, supposed game observers and bloggers. an atenean post saying the game between DLSU and UE was rigged by the Pumarens to blogs and comments saying that the referees were partial to DLSU. There's always accusations of cheating when its not for the team you're cheering for.

regardless of the comments or the endless accusations, can't change the fact on who holds the championship trophy right now. its the green archers.

DLSU : UAAP Season 70 Basketball Champion

UE played valiantly but La Salle played to win. Final score : DLSU (73) vs UE (64). It was a vindication of the controversies we were in during the last season. I didn't even think we could do it having lost to UE in all games during the eliminations. It just goes to show that all things are possible - including winning the seemingly insurmountable.

We won. A fitting comeback.

==========================================

It was a great day in sports today - Manny Pacquiao won his boxing re-match with Barrera. Another filipino worthy of recognition.

In F1, Raikonnen won the Chinese Grand Prix while Hamilton slips out of the race. The last race in Interlagos will decide now who will win the Driver's Championship for 2007. Its an all-out race for Hamilton, Alonso and Raikonnen in two week's time. Yay.

how bad do i want this

the seeming good news from last week was dimmed when he asked me to write another research paper in exchange for a chance to get that recognition. it is a fair request - i knew he wasn't just going to give it to me without any work in return. as we were discussing the terms of it, it felt like something workable - that if i squeeze in time i probably can write something good enough to let him know i want it. the only problem is - i'm not sure i want it that badly to have another go writing. what i need to write about will be quite useful though, i just don't know if its doable to finish it in a week or two's time.

it feels like its the last stretch of the race and i just have to give it one last push - except that a part of me feels that if this was meant for me then it shouldn't be this hard.

Game 1: DLSU (64) vs UE (63)

I wasn't sure we could do it but we pulled it off. UE was undefeated but La Salle dealt them their first loss the whole season. It was a close game, in ways, as heartstopping as the last game with Ateneo. The next game on sunday is up to anybody's guess - UE probably had the upper hand but after this game, they can't take La Salle for granted. If La Salle wins the championship, its going to be an awesome comeback after a year's absence. If UE wins, its going to also be an awesome comeback for them after being out of the championships for a long time.

UAAP. Brings out the school spirit in everyone.

where this road leads to ...

it feels kind of weird being in the same place i was 12 years ago. in a way its different because now i am not really someone begging but i am armed with experience, with achievements and its just a matter of whether our needs align together. there's a lot more to see out there rather than the confines of my room or my cubicle and i think its time to venture into something different. i'm sure there will be disappointments along the way and at times its going to leave me with a heavy heart.

coincendentally, i saw this short video wherein a model was saying that during their auditions, 75% of the time they get rejected. and we wonder how they can pursue being in that kind of cutthroat business - and i guess the answer is simple, for every disappointment, there's bound to be a glimmer of HOPE. a chance. i don't know where this road leads to - and i won't know until i take it. if it takes me back to where i am right now, at least i took the journey. no regrets.

heard from desperate housewives - season 4, episode 1

this was part of susan's (teri hatcher) dialogue to her ob-gyn doctor dr. adam (nathan fillion) during a scene where susan had an exam and the doctor was discussing that she might be entering "menopause" at her age.

"can i check those diplomas cause i just wanna make sure they're not from some med school in the philippines?"

ouch! that was harsh!
maybe that was supposedly intended in light recent nursing exam controversy but i didn't know they also had such low opinions about our doctors.

Stills from the DLSU vs ADMU game

pics from the game yesterday ... truly one of the best la salle vs ateneo games this season. photos courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/inboundpass/1450919248/ we've won the game that mattered. ateneo was gracious in defeat. la salle was determined to win - and win they did, in grand style. Animo La Salle!