the seeming good news from last week was dimmed when he asked me to write another research paper in exchange for a chance to get that recognition. it is a fair request - i knew he wasn't just going to give it to me without any work in return. as we were discussing the terms of it, it felt like something workable - that if i squeeze in time i probably can write something good enough to let him know i want it. the only problem is - i'm not sure i want it that badly to have another go writing. what i need to write about will be quite useful though, i just don't know if its doable to finish it in a week or two's time.
it feels like its the last stretch of the race and i just have to give it one last push - except that a part of me feels that if this was meant for me then it shouldn't be this hard.
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