getting back to normal

things are starting to really get back to normal these days. normal in the sense that now that school's over (kind of), i can finally focus on those things that i put on hold when my sister was in the hospital. i'm happy that so far, with each passing day, things are starting to ease up a bit.

• finally managed to go back to my dentist and have my braces adjusted. it didn't feel like i was last there four months ago - that can't be right. i really want to get rid of these braces soon. so far the adjustments does not hurt so bad, its more of a minor inconvenience now so that doesn't really keep me from eating.
• finally went back to the gym after a long abstinence. i did some cardio (as in 10mins lang kaya ko hahaha) and some weights. i really need to get back in shape if i'm still going to use all those size S & M clothes i bought last time.

i'm so tempted to shop. gawd, i haven't shopped in the last four months i'm starting to feel destitute. its taking all my willpower to keep me from going to my favorite shops. now that school is out, its time to refocus my energies and get things organized. i've been lazy for most of the year already and while there's still some more months left in 2007, i should try to salvage this year. some of the things that needs more planning are the following :

• christmas is around the corner and this year, i should finally make good my promise of shopping for christmas presents early. this year should be different. there's really not a lot of people to give presents to anymore - most of the "friends" have moved on.
• now that school's out, its time to seriously consider business prospects. put a plan in place and get things moving. its time to get busy.
• i'll finally have time to learn some new skill - maybe start reading up on post-processing or whatever stuff to awaken my creative talents. i've been so out of touch with it already i fear i've lost it.

there's still work that needs some taking care of and i need to keep that in mind. 2007 wasn't the best year for me and i'm hoping that the rest of the year passes through uneventful. i'm praying hard that 2008 will be a lucky year for me and my family. i'm not sure - but i have faith.

prison break - season 3

finally the long wait is over. prison break, season 3 started out with a bang! we know that michael's back in prison - this time in panama and jail this time around is more violent, dirtier with more bad guys = more deaths in the first episode. while episode 1 sorts of gives some clues on what the plot of the season is about, i'm pretty sure there is going to be a lot more twists like the previous seasons. so here's to michael scofield, to lincoln burrows and the rest of the prison gang - hope this season is as addicting as the previous two.

episode 1 was awesome!

i will

i admit i was never a big fan of old, old bands - really more pop than i'd admit but a good friend rlin sent me this link to youtube for one of her current favorite songs. and yeah, the song "i will" by the beatles is truly awesome - one of the best love songs. truly one for the emo playlist (sigh!). now i'm definitely missin' someone.

I Will - The Beatles

Who knows how long I've loved you,  

You know I love you still,  

Will I wait a lonely lifetime,  

If you want me to I will.   

For if I ever saw you,  

I didn't catch your name,  

But it never really mattered,  

I will always feel the same.   

Love you forever and forever,  

Love you with all my heart;  

Love you whenever we're together,  

Love you when we´re apart.   

And when at last I find you,  

Your song will fill the air,  

Sing it loud so I can hear you,  

Make it easy to be near you,  

For the things you do endear you to me,  

oh, you know I will.  I will.

here's two videos for the song.  ben taylor remade the song as well.

roadtrip ...

part of the promise we made while my sister was in the hospital a few months ago was to visit manaoag. now that school's over we're finally going tomorrow. we were only planning to go on a day trip to manaoag but i suggested that since we're already traveling that far - we should take a side trip to baguio. this is kind of exciting because its the first time my nephew is going to travel this far and road trips are almost always fun. i'm already packed. coolers at the trunk. now if only i can find my hollister sweater ... hmmm!

when will i see your face again

i just love listening to this song right now. the title and the lyrics speaks for itself.

When Will I See Your Face Again - Jamie Scott & The Town

(Verse)

Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You'd Come Again,
But It's Not Fair, Cos You're Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Chaaanged,

I'm A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I'd Hear You Call My Name,

(Chorus)

So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love Youuu...Will I See Your Face Again,

(2nd Verse)

Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Nowww,
'Cos I Don't Know How Much Longer I can Waaait,

I'm A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You're Coming In, I know My Life's Begun,
Tell Me Girl...

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

(Bridge)

You Know That All My Life I've Been Waaaiting,
Waiting For Sooome, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can't Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Awaaaay, Flyyyyyy Away,

Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I've Only Seen Youuu, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That's What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will iii See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh...

when will i see your face again

i just really enjoy listening to this song right now. the title & the lyrics pretty much sums it all up.

When Will I See Your Face Again - Jamie Scott & The Town

Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You'd Come Again,
But It's Not Fair, Cos You're Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Changed,

I'm A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I'd Hear You Call My Name,

(Chorus)

So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love You...Will I See Your Face Again,

Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Now,
'Cos I Don't Know How Much Longer I can Wait,

I'm A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You're Coming In, I know My Life's Begun,
Tell Me Girl...

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love You, Will I See Your Face Again,

(Bridge)

You Know That All My Life I've Been Waiting,
Waiting For Some, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can't Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Away, Fly Away,

Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I've Only Seen You, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love You, Will I See Your Face Again,

I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That's What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will iii See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh...

minor revisions

the consultation for our strama paper today went well despite a slight glitch on the room availability. this was it - time to face the music. while i've prepped myself not to expect too much, i was still hoping for the best. after all, the going ons the coming weeks for work leaves me not a huge amount of time to attend to the paper if there are going to be some major overhauling needed. i did catch a few "inc" ratings on some of the papers by accident, there was really no reason to despair. those papers needed a little more spicing up, nothing more. no dreams were shattered today. some of my classmates were recognized for delivering a more than satisfactory paper which was well-deserved considering the amount of work everyone put forth just to make the "D" day. my revisions were pretty minor - more on formatting and a few bullet additions but nothing more. it was a pretty good result - this considering i met face-to-face with my good friend H (who owns the company) once and did more of the consulting on some aspects via short phone calls - hehehe. i know i could have delivered a better paper if i had more time to really understand the company - with all the happenings, most of what i put in my paper were products of my head. that doesn't mean though that what i wrote were fabrications - i did not fabricate anything and that probably what made writing the paper more laborious - because it took time to put forth words that somehow didn't blur the truth.

we had to take the prof to dinner during which he remarked that my paper would have been recognized except for my format & presentation. i personally was never hoping for a recognition because i knew the amount of time i poured over my paper - my research wasn't thorough and i decided more on practical solutions/strategies. i was really after strategies that were implementable because i am planning on using this paper - yeba! prof said he thought my presentation was "dry" and lacked "oomph" to make it impressive --- hehehe he hasn't seen my powerpoint skills yet and i know i am one of the better presenters. getting a 4 in strama probably will take a miracle and seeing that i have decided not to enroll in an additional elective, i probably should kiss graduating with distinction goodbye. oh well, i can't win 'em all.

new ipods

www.apple.com

The new iPod touch introduced today features built-in Wi-Fi networking and a revolutionary multi-touch user interface—first introduced on iPhone—that makes it easy to find all of your music, video, and other digital content and enjoy it on the gorgeous widescreen display on iPod touch. The multi-touch interface uses pioneering new software to present the perfect user interface for Safari, Apple’s YouTube application, and the new iTunes Wi-Fi Music Store—all of which come with iPod touch. An unbelievable 8mm thin, iPod touch features up to 22 hours of audio playback and up to five hours of video playback. Available later this month, iPod touch comes in 8GB and 16GB models for $299 and $399, respectively. [Sep 05, 2007]

16GB though is limiting. the wireless though is nice except that in a country where there isn't a lot of free wireless then it won't really matter. i already have free airborne access and i have only used it once. and if you are planning on buying an iphone then you don't really need an ipod anymore. surprisingly, the iphone has dropped its price to $399 (yep, less $200) which either means its not selling as fast as apple was expecting or there's a new model coming out. my guess is its probably both. i'm still cool with my 30GB ipod-vid, haven't even found the time to fill 'er up since my being OC is getting in the way. But hopefully i'll have time before the year ends after i take care of work stuff.

where do i go from here

i guess i should know exactly when things started falling through the cracks but somehow its difficult to admit that i am partly to blame where i am today. i stand at a crossroad where despite the choices, i'd have to take the route i am dying to get out of. i can't afford to take the road less traveled right now - and its not because i have succumbed to a defeatist attitude but its more for practicality. people must already be wondering what the heck i am talking about - its work.

work. right now, it feels like each work day is torture. it gets harder and harder to breathe and thinking about it is sucking the life out of me. yes, its that bad. i hate it but i have to do it because it pays the bills. some might say, there's always a choice - and they may be right and it would've been easy if my decisions affected only myself. there are other people to think about and being selfish is out of the question. so while the question lingers in my head, i have to do this.

16 days to go

the agony of waiting ...

BER

i didn't realize it until i read my good friend D's text message that today officially starts the BER months. this means in five months, its going to be Christmas all over again. While Christmas remains as my favorite time of the year, a lot has happened last year that somewhat dampens my enthusiasm. A lot of good friends have left the big blue around that time last year and my sister was in the hospital for quite some time as well. 2007 has been witness to a lot of disappointments and sad stories but despite that there has been some wins nonetheless. As we go through the remainder of this year, i am hoping that life eases up a bit.

Its still early but I can't wait for Christmas.

to my classmates ...

here's the farewell remarks i gave to my STRAMA classmates during the closure of our class party yesterday ... just scribbled something fast for the class party ...

"Can you believe 14 weeks has passed and we can say with confidence that we made it through the experience of Prof. Elfren Cruz.

I remember seeing everyone during the first day of class – most expecting the worse, some having no-clue of what they were getting themselves into. Prof. Elfren starting the first session subtly – we laughed on the first day not realizing it was going to be the last time we would do so. It was probably because there was a lot of work to be done or probably because Prof Elfren never really cracked any jokes. He was really serious in making sure we learned something – in a rather different style we were not accustomed to.

Most of us wished we did not have to stand in front of the class during the presentations – those were pretty embarrassing moments most of which were captured eternally in audio. Yes, Prof Elfren, we liked the lessons that much that we recorded it so we can relive the “experience” probably even after we’ve passed our OCE’s.

STRAMA was a really humbling experience. No one, no matter how smart or witty, escaped being on the hot seat. The questions and the sarcasm taught most of us to be more confident during presentations. No one broke down and no one gave up.

My classmates probably belong to the finest lot I have the pleasure of being with during Mondays. The class officers I worked with were dependable, responsible and easy to work with. These are very fine people I see right here.

Prof Elfren is unforgettable. He truly lives up to his reputation. We learned a lot over the past 14 weeks – lessons that I know everyone here will remember as we go our separate ways.

Thank you Prof Elfren. Thank you classmates. I am happy to have shared this experience with all of you."

i could be ....

for quite some time my hearts not really been with work and the only thing that keeps me to it right now is the very thing i told myself should not be a reason to hold on. in a way i guess there are circumstances that forces you to change your perspective and this is one of them. yes, i'm staying because i'm supporting the fam - and i'd have to tread carefully because unfortunately for me, i don't really have the same options i had when my sister was still working and i was chipping in only a wee bit on the expenses. today, life is different - in some ways maybe its time to face up to major responsibilities i've been free from for the last 32 years. but this isn't what this post is all about.

not being "happy" with work makes you ponder about what life would be if i wasn't an engineer or if i stayed with Bench like my good friend D. its not that i have regrets with the career choices i made - its probably more of "how life will be if i was a - (insert job here!)" i guess this is one of the reasons why i love this nokia commercial so much because it sums up everything that i feel right now ---- and yes, i feel like working for the past 11+ years, i deserve a break. i deserve to do something i love. like maybe take that european tour i've been dreaming for so long. or maybe explore places i've not been to before. i want to be a traveler. i want to experience the world.

and the countdown begins ...

fall is almost here ... i'm marking my calendars this september & october ...

SUN		MON		TUE		WED		THU		FRI		SAT
16		17		18		19		20		21		22
		Prison Break
23		24		25		26		27		28		29
		Heroes Journeyman		Reaper House		Gossip Girl Bionic Woman Private Practice		Smallville CSI Grey's Anatomy Ugly Betty Big Shots		Ghost Whisperer
30		1		2		3		4		5		6
Desp Housewives Bros & Sisters						Pushing Daisies		Supernatural		Friday Night Lights

so many shows to watch out and painstakingly download ... can't wait for grey's! this is not the full fall schedule, i only placed here the shows that i'm interested in checking out! =) Lost is still mid-season so that'll be sometime in november/december along with battlestar galactica!

the morning after

still up after slaving the entire night on the last portions of my strategic management paper. i can't believe i managed to stay up with no shut-eye and still function at this hour. my brain is a little sluggish right now but there's a feeling of relief seeing the last page of what i've been working at for the last two weeks finally finish printing. i was so worried that printing it in colored will wear my cartridges to the point where the warning lights will start blinking and i'd be left with x number of pages left unprinted. but yes, i've managed to print everything - all 122 pages of it. being the OC that i am, i'm bothered that the prints weren't as perfect as i wanted and i forgot to label all of the figures and tables (but who cares, they're at their right places). right now, i am just happy that the paper is done - finito! just need to find a place to get it ringbound. i should feel much more relaxed now.

some people i'd like to thank ....
those who were selfless in sharing their papers (arlene, malou, annie, cheryl) ... thank you! you don't know how much benchmarking from your papers has helped me! your papers were my saving grace! i will assure you that i will pay it forward.

ria vita and anna rosette ... my classmates and constant ym buddies, knowing you were in the same space as i was in doing the paper made me feel less panicky about completing the paper. this is it gals, just the dang balanced scorecard and the finals and we're done! Now let's pray he gives us at least a 3.5 on our papers and i'll be really happy!

my mba buddies (annie, eric, jap, imee, richard, dada, tm, dino and jim) who continuously encouraged me that i can do this --- thank you! i miss hanging out with you guys so much.

RCBC, 12noon! Hope there'll be some good news next week when he returns the paper back.

this is it ...

this is it ... the last leg of the race to complete my strategic management paper. i'm down to the last half of implementation and then i just have to slave over the financial projections. I downed some extra-joss already anticipating a stark, cold night working on my balance sheets and income statements. good thing classes remains suspended tomorrow which means i don't have any class giving me the entire morning to finish up, print and find some place to get it binded. nice huh? too much blessings, i couldn't begin to say thank you - God has been really good helping us with this paper by giving us more time to work on it.

so to my classmates, after we're through with this paper, let's all offer our thanks to God for all the breaks we got! God is eternally good.

a welcome reprieve

looking at my progress in writing my strategic management paper, it sure is obvious that i am a bit behind. meeting a 6pm deadline at rcbc tomorrow night sure is going to be a challenge. i was already expecting a really long night tonight, at least to get through the the next chapter on functional strategies. its a stretch but if i won't be able to finish that, then i'm going to have to cram the implementation plan and the financial projections tomorrow. the implementation plan probably would be easier, the financials sure will take some more time.

i got a text from prof E around 3PM asking me to call him. i dutifully pressed "call sender" to see if there were any additional instructions. Lo and behold, he was moving the submission to saturday noon because he is going to have a make-up class tomorrow night at taft because the weather canceled his class tonight. It was hard to hide how happy i was hearing this welcome news. That gives me at least two more nights to work this thing out. Probably slaving on it the whole day tomorrow at least will help me put this paper in better shape. God must have heard a lot of my classmates cry for help that he saw fit to hand us a reprieve. God is really good. Thank you Lord for this welcome reprieve. Hopefully, we won't squander this gift you are giving us.

And that's what having faith is all about.

you can never can tell - part 2

if you haven't read part 1, read it first ... the laughter continues here ...

> I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven
> only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay
> received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking
> feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero
> sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang
> ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to say.
> Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl
> yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit
> di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?
>
> Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
> After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on

> Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabi
> na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it.
>
> So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what

> are friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had
> to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug
> down rate.
>
> When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di
> basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.
> It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard.
> Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti
> na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."
>
> When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang
> nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a
> bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a
> room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.
>
> Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis
> ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that
> Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower
> my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron
> is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I barraged
> in. O my gas! Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig
> sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was
> bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend
> niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko
> napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.
>
> Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search
> and rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.
>
> Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I
> know it's a better pill to swallow your friend so it's forgive and
> forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put
> on makeup.
>
> Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is
> really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms
> persist, insult your doctor.

you can never can tell - part 1

this was so stinkin funny i had to share it ... a lot must have read about this already since you know how fast e-mail travels these days ...

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother.
Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really
fast. Cute pala siya.

And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla
siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya!
I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm
running our time.

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here.
" What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I
told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to
get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of
steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman.
Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please,
mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell.
Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts.
If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
soul. I second emotion.

can i make it?

i'm not really a pessimistic person but listening to the presentations tonight and the questions asked, it feels like the next few chapters of the paper is going to be a bigger challenge than i was expecting. i think i need to step back and look at how things or each framework all tie together. the questions thrown to the presenters seem brutal, condescending and sarcastic but they serve their purpose. the presenters are our sacrificial lambs - the class in a way owes the learnings tonight to them. the bad thing about knowing the pitfalls and the errors of how we are writing our paper is that it tells us we have A LOT of things to pay attention to. one miss can potentially open up to a lot of questions.

i am so thankful to malou for providing me resources - what she provided is a great reference and maybe my saving grace. so malou, i know we've only known each other for a short time but thank you so much for helping out. i am super grateful.

honestly, i am starting to feel the pressure of writing the next chapters. i need to ask my manager to take the rest of the week of. if i can't focus on just writing this paper full-time, i will not be able to make it. i'm crossing my fingers.