June 15, 2006

same old, same old

you know what's funny, i can't really hate you. no matter what you do and how much you hurt me, i can't really hate you. i guess that's what suck cause its easy to write it and talk about it but after a while, i realize that i don't want to hate you, or anybody else for that matter. hate is poison and i don't want to live a poisoned life -much less hate you for a long time. i still think you are one nice person and you are an awesome friend - to other people perhaps but never to me. i guess that's what hurt so much cause i tried hard to give our friendship another chance. i had my doubts before, and i really tried to believe other people's assurances - and that was foolish. i've always had good instincts and could read people pretty well, i should have trusted them but i was really blinded and wanted things to work. it does really look like goodbye now, God knows i wish things were different pero it takes two people to make a friendship work, and i can't do it alone.
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just need joan's final approval, but my trip will be extended by 3 more weeks. so i am going to be staying in AZ until W28 - that's until july 15. first time i'm having my birthday in a foreign land. i really miss my real friends and my family. i miss my nephew so bad.

1 comment:

XY said...

parang si gloria gaynor ba... "now i'm saving all my loving, for someone who's loving me? :)"

take it easy... friendship has different levels.. sometimes it's better to take things as they are. it's not settling for something, just accepting what it's all ever going to be.. friendships are sometimes compromised because of great expectations, that stem from personal agenda.