faith is the only thing i'm holding on to

the hospital bill doesn't really bother me that much anymore. right now, the most important thing in the world for me is to see my sister get better from her condition. people may say its drama but i will gladly exchange places with my sister in an instant because my nephew needs his mother more than he needs me. the doctor said there's another hole in her intestine and she will need to undergo another operation on monday. i have to admit i'm really scared for my sister and right now its really faith that God will help us through this that keeps me going.

i went to visit my sister after class today and i've put on a happy face while i was there. deep inside, it pains me so much to see my sister this sick. mom and i feels the same way - and we only say it when its just the two of us but we hurt so much about what my sister is going through. my sister's "lupus" is the one that's making this more difficult - add to the fact that when you get an operation involving your intestines - there's a chance of adhesions. help has been aplenty - God's little miracles - some envelopes from well-meaning friends, her doctors telling us they're waving their doctor's fees, prayers from everybody. i know its too much to ask but i'm praying for a BIG MIRACLE! Losing my sister is my greatest fear and i pray everyday no matter how tired or busy i am for her to get better.

my sister texted me thanking me and telling me she loves me. in our family, we were never very vocal and demonstrative of our feelings. i've always had a hard time saying "i love you" to anyone, even my family. i cried as i read her short text message because i felt the same way. i was prepared to spend every single money and whatever stocks i have if that's what's needed to make her better. i look at my soon-to-be 4yo nephew and he has no idea how sick his mom is. his laugh & his hugs are the only things that brighten my day lately.

i hope everyone who reads this can include my sister, Betty, in their prayers. Please ask God to give her strength, faith and hope that everything will be alright. My sister and my family needs your prayers more than anything else.