rainy day tuesday

coming off from an extended 4-day weekend (on leave last friday and replacement holiday last monday), its hard to find the right energy to get back to work. surprisingly, i've finished quite a lot yesterday and in record time that i was happily looking forward to my photography class that night.

30 minutes. that was just how much time it took for me to prepare for class when the rain started pouring heavily. and in just that amount of time, the entrance to our subdivision was flooded knee-deep (and pretty soon waist deep) that even if i was driving a SUV, i wouldn't have made it through. I waited for a good hour before the rain let up and the flood waters to subside all the while fidgeting inside the car and getting anxious about the possibility of missing class tonight. that's me being OC - i get pretty anxious when i know i'm going to be late to anything scheduled. i live minute by minute and like everything in order and that's how i avoid chaos. surprisingly, i managed to make it in class just a couple minutes late.

class last night was very interesting and downright educational. even though i had an idea already of some of the topics being discussed, there were still a lot of ideas and new information that "wowed!" me! leo castillo is really a gifted teacher and despite the class extending until 11pm (ok, past my bedtime), i did not feel sleepy at all. i'm really looking forward to the next 4 more sessions.

i woke up late wednesday morning realizing i forgot to re-set the ringer of my phone to "ON". i had to rush driving to faraway cavite just to get news that the meeting i was rushing for is canceled. still managed to finish work i set out to do at the office despite my cubicle being so cold. this office is freakingly cold its a miracle people have not frozen to death (ok, i'm exaggerating but you get the drift).

4 more days and its the start of the "BER" months. Christmas is just around the corner. happy happy joy joy!

US Fall TV Show Guide (2008)

yes! after last season was cut short by the writer's strike, fall 2008 looks to be promising with some new shows and new episodes of staple favorites. everyday is going to be busy downloading the latest episodes. here's the premiere dates for fall 2008.

*i've only included here shows that i watch or those new shows i'm planning to watch!

Sep 1
Gossip Girl
Prison Break
One Tree Hill

Sep 2
90210 (New)

Sep 8
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Sep 9
Fringe (New)

Sep 16
House

Sep 18
Supernatural
Smallville

Sep 22
How I Met Your Mother
Heroes

Sep 23
The Mentalist (New)

Sep 24
Knight Rider (New)
Lipstick Jungle

Sep 25
Ugly Betty
Grey's Anatomy

Sep 28
The Amazing Race : Season 13
Desperate Housewives
Dexter
Brothers & Sisters

Sep 29
Chuck

Oct 1
Pushing Daisies
Private Practice
Dirty Sexy Money

Oct 3
Ghost Whisperer

Oct 9
CSI

Oct 10
Life

the big switch

no, this isn't the "switch" brand of watch dino gamely uttered during a round of destiny the other night. this post is about one of my good friends annie who is making the big move to singapore early next month. she went to singapore a couple of months back and mixing r&r and interviewing, she finally signed up with a company who met her requirements.

i met annie at grad school and we quickly hit it off because she was smart (well, minsan ewan ko! hahaha) and funny and we always laughed out loud. we were in a couple of classes together but we forged a friendship with eric and jap when we decided to spend a long weekend at galera. i will never forget her "kampanyerang kuba" video during our marketing class - it was a riot because annie is as natural an actress as they come. her quotable quotes are just downright funny and its at time when we hear them that we wonder how she ever got into UP. the barkada will surely miss annie when she moves to sing but i'm really happy that greener pastures await her there. besides, sing is just a few hours by plane from manila and i'm going to see her in a couple of weeks time when she settles there.

will miss you dearly friend! there's still a couple more weeks left - gimik to the max na lang!

a first of hopefully many more ...

yesterday was a day we have been waiting both with eager anticipation and inexplicable dread. some great people from multiply who we share the same interests with extended an invitation to malou & her kaladkarin friends (uhmmm yeah, that's i, dino and supposedly richard) to meet up, hang-out and shoot some models. unfortunately, malou & i (the ultimate kaladkarin duo) were the only peeps available yesterday to join the shoot. we were pretty lucky indeed that the shoot/EB/hangout pushed through considering it has been raining on & off the whole weekend. i guess its fate to meet 'em, and you can't fight that.

its amazing to be in the company of very talented people. just looking at them in action is enough to inspire anyone to try and get good photographs so you won't feel embarrassed showing them the results of your day's work. i am grateful to meet such wonderful people who welcomed us (the newbies) with such open arms that it didn't take long for use to feel at home with all of them. they are a fun bunch, probably because of the mixture of ages, generations even ... from as young as 16 years to as old as >16 (hahaha you'd have to guess), the energy is infectious. the models, blessed to have photogenic looks and damn goodlooking physiques, you just want to hate 'em except that they're such nice, down-to-earth, shy individuals cursed of registering well on cam (cursed daw! LOL!). i've been to shoots and fashion shows before but it was the first time for me to try taking snaps of real live dolls. i have to say, it ain't an easy feat - warm (scorching even), humid weather, mud & wet grass, damp clothes, aching legs & feet ... it was easy to feel exhausted at the end of the day.

i realized i have SO MUCH to learn and a LONG way to go before i can take photos as beautifully as my newfound photo buds but i'm in no rush. i am hoping to learn from them and from some other generous people as i go along. i'm glad that this is turning out to be a fun, productive and enjoyable hobby.

despite a very tiring day, i'm happy to be taking home with me a list of new people hopefully i am going to be seeing more and learning more from. my list of contacts has already jumped by 15 more people. for the most part, that is the best take away from yesterday.

*pics from the shoot yesteday to follow. it definitely won't be as great as my NFF's photos but they're mine and i'm proud of 'em. =)

How to be super conyotic effect, you know!

Lifted from Ric's blog who lifted it from somebody else who i probably lifted it from somebody else ... and the list goes on we probably will never know who was the original author of this super funny pinoy slangs. If you want to become one of the conyo's and conyitas, then read on, weep and laugh.

... and to be fair, i probably should tell everybody i'm also guilty of most of what's written below. yeah, i got it bad!

1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa".
ex. "Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
ex. "I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang-uri!"
ex. "It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"
ex. "Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex. "My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
ex. "I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex. "Like, it's so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex. "Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
ex. "Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It's so kaka!"
"Kaka?"
"Kakaasar!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
ex. "I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

kwadro kantos

with nothing to write about this rainy sunday afternoon, i decided to answer malou's tag. now i'm not one to believe in all these chain letters foretelling of bad or good fortunes if you don't respond. I guess, like malou said, this is just for the pure fun of it.

Four places i go over and over...

• cavite - not so much today but i did go there monday to friday for eight years since that's where i had to work;
• mall - who doesn't go to the mall?
  
• S&R - best place to go grocery shopping
• gym - i do go kahit not regularly hehehe
  

Four people who email me regularly....

• multiply - i'm a multiply addict. can't help it, i gotta keep tabs on what's happening;
• photobuds (dino, richard, malou) - kulitan where ang next place to shooot;
• men's health - naka-subscribe kasi ako e hahaha
• co-workers - i should worry if nobody from the office is emailing me na di ba?
  

Four of my favorite places to eat...

• KFC - hahaha can't help it, i love it.
• California Pizza Kitchen - so many things i love in this resto. mushroom pepperoni pizza is the best.
• Superbowl of China - what can i say, i love chinese food!
• Yellowcab Pizza - don't you just love charlie chan's pasta?
  

Four places you'd rather be....

• europe - my dream destination. so many places to see, so many things to do.
• greece - if there's a single place to see, this is where i'd want to go. this place is just awesome.
• arizona - among the places i've visited in the US, arizona is the one i'd love to come back too. so many friends there and the people are hot, hot, hot like the desert.
• sydney - heard so many things about sydney and i have a lot of friends who i can hang out with down there.
  

Four people i think will respond...

• no one! hahaha masyado ma-effort i-answer ito e.
  

Four TV shows i can watch over and over...

• friends - for me, its probably the most fun comedy series i've seen. i can watch all 10 seasons again and again and still laugh at their antics.
• grey's anatomy - one of the best shows out there. i can't get enough of it.
• house md - you either love or hate house. but i gotta admit, despite his devious ways he's one brilliant doctor.
• battlestar galactica - best sci-fi show on tv. too bad its on its final season. the only thing to look forward now is its prequel "caprica"
  

Yum : 10,000? calories Loaded Steakhouse Burger

Burger King's Loaded Steakhouse Burger

Loaded with crispy onions, baked potato topping, bacon, A.I. thick & hearty steak sauce and a slice of american cheese on top of 100% angus beef patty.

yeah, no diet non-sense this week. tried this burger this afternoon on my way home while driving. what can i say about it? for one, it kinda tasted different in a good sort of way. i was wondering what the creamy taste was and now realize it was the baked potato topping. in a way i can't compare it with a champ, they just taste differently. i feel like i'm "jughead" from the archie digests - if not for it being such an unhealthy treat, i probably could live on burgers alone. oh well, have to break-up with my relationship with fast food soon. healthy is so not fun.

shameless plug : MY GIRL

MY GIRL
(Kim Chiu, Gerald Anderson, Enchong Dee)

i don't care what everyone will say. I LOVE THIS SHOW! hahaha
Watch it weekdays at ABS-CBN around 10pm'ish!

sluggish on a supposedly fast day

it must have been all of the fat i feasted on but sleeping almost midnight and waking up at five today just didn't seem to cut it. i felt so sluggish waking up and had to pull myself out of bed to shower, dress up and drive to the faraway land of zeevee (we call our building CV, short for cavite). the only consolation is that driving an automatic (yeah, i'm a convert) makes it easy to navigate the backroads and hum into the emo-songs blasting from my ipod.

so far i had two presentations done by phone con today. first one, i kind of breezed through it and there weren't really a lot of questions. its really easier to attend phone cons in the office because the audio is better than my headset and wireless phone at home. my second presentation should have gone well except there was this pestering attendee from another country who for the love of life, i couldn't figure out what the problem was. i lost my cool for a while and chastised her for not raising her concerns months back when she had the chance. bwahahaha. i can really be bitchy like that, phone con or not.

one more meeting before the day ends and there still a number of things i need to do. all i can think of right now is the comfort of my bed and how nice it would feel to step back into la-la land. i really need r-e-s-t right now.

and yeah, i'm still waiting for an epiphany for me to get back into the gym.

mind your own business

i don't have to explain myself to you. in the first place, you are not my boss and we don't even work in the same company anymore. i deliver to all my commitments regardless of where i work. if my boss doesn't mind, why should it to you? your life will probably be more productive if you start minding your own business. its really irritating and nakaka-strike two ka na.

strike three and you are out for good.

mark this: january 27, 2009

OMG! i was listening to david archuleta's first single "crush" and decided to google for david cook hoping to catch some news on when his single (or album) is going to come out and found this piece of news instead.

Straight from Cook's mouth, he's coming over to the Philippines for probably a one-night show on january 27, 2009. Aaaaahhh, i can barely type right now. I am such a Cookie fan!!! Here's Cook's interview where around the 4-minute mark he mentions about his upcoming concert.

Time to save.

does true love really happens to everybody?

i don't think so. hearing barry's post of "the scientist" by coldplay on piano made me lookup that video of arguably (for me) one of the sweetest, romantic and most endearing movie ending i've seen. the movie is "wicker park" and while some parts of the movie may be confusing, everything sort of falls into place towards the end. its not your typical narrative since the movie is cut into different timelines. but enough of that right now, that's not what this post is all about.

seeing that ending made me ask myself if that can really happen in real life. maybe so, but likely to very few, select people who is lucky enough to find true love. it doesn't happen to everybody - and probably will never happen to me. some people call that jaded. i prefer to be called a realist. the heart isn't the one that makes us fall in love - its still the brain. i don't know how we have come to associate the heart with love - maybe its when our heart goes thump thump everytime we see somebody we fancy that we think that's what helps us feel. don't you just wish that people were created as half of a whole? that each of us is made as half of a couple - similar to that movie "hancock." wouldn't that be swell? that no matter what, fate brings two people together? maybe that's the easy way out of loneliness. are there really people who prefer to live life in solitude? or is that just an excuse for not being able to find a better half?

here's the ending of the movie "wicker park." if something like this (course i'm talking about just the ending, not the whole complications of the film) happens to me, i'd be the luckiest person in the world. finding your better half after a long time of searching has never been more romantic!

its been awhile

its been quite some time since the last time we managed to pool former colleagues from the big blue. with some of the barkada moving to other companies, its expected that our get togethers will really required effort. ria and i are the only peeps left at the big blue and we both have the same number of years put in. ice, who was the first one i have worked with x number of years back is now working for another company. jowell, who came in four or five years after is already working for accenture. ali, has moved to a new company we like to call the green bling. allan is with the separated company, numonyx. some of our other friends unfortunately couldn't make it that night - van is busy with her "alive! alive!" while arlene will be flying out to the US. trixy on the other hand is on night shift (we miss her a lot!).

thankfully, once every now and then, ali is the one who calls out these sorta impromptu get togethers. friday being 08/08/08 is supposed to be lucky and it was actually kind of - at least for me. had lunch with an old friend B who i managed to borrow an 18-200mm Nikkor VR lens from (cool!) and who also treated me to a hearty lunch at banana leaf. yum! mom confirmed already her prize from sunnex for our all-expense paid trip to HK which most likely will be on the last week of October. Dinner during the get-together at TGI Friday's was courtesy of Ali (thanks for being so generous girl!).

it was nice to see the old gang together again. surprisingly, despite the rarity of our get togethers, its still as if we just talked yesterday. i guess that's the nice thing about us - we have something that binds us together. its nice to have great friends.

wow philippines

while scouring youtube for some interesting videos, i felt a little bit patriotic and searched for the "wow philippines" video ads. interestingly enough, both the various artists and regine's commercials were posted on youtube. i realized that the perfect complement to this whole photography thing is to go around the country, attend the festivals and capture them as they happen. i've managed to see a few of the scenic places but there are still A LOT out there that begs to be seen. so maybe if i plan and save well, i can finally go visit these places.

looking at these ads, you just gotta love the beauty of this country. yes, perhaps there are other places and countries equally (or more) beautiful. but i love being in this country (traffic, corruption, steep taxes and all).

thirteen years after

aren't you amazed how after a long time, life sort of brings people from the past together? this is sort of whats happening now after that mini-reunion of sorts we had with a few college mates last friday. we're actually planning on holding a college christmas reunion for all of our industrial engineering classmates from la salle this year. while email was a relative unknown during our college years, we are hoping that starting off a yahoo groups and through our network, we'd be able to bridge everybody eventually. its no easy task i know but one can be hopeful. our target is to gather at least most of our classmates for that college reunion. i bet it will be pretty fun seeing how people look today and reminiscing how it was back then. had lunch with a few of them again today at the house of a friend nearby and we were all laughing reliving our college years (circa ... 199x hahaha). hopefully we can pull off the december reunion thing.

that will definitely be a blast from the past.

childhood reminiscing

its cool that a year back or so, i finally managed to get all episodes of this cartoon i grew up with. even during that time, voltes v has been ahead of its time - the japanese has always been tops in the anime department. they're visionaries. i would love to get my hands on this uber cool toy - its a collectors item and i think i saw one being retailed for a cool 20,000 bucks. pretty expensive.

the english version of its opening theme is blaring on my homepage. its pretty cool and i remember humming on to the japanese version even though i didn't know what the heck those lyrics meant or how to properly pronounced them.

voltes v theme (english version)

Someday the sons of light shall fill all the earth
The morning of justice shall have come to its birth
So we'll all wave our banners high and free through the air
For the love and glory we then all shall share

Soldiers boldly unite to fight and fight for peace
Hand in hand like eagles through the breeze
Over lands and over seas

Voltes V we come to you
Flashing through with wings of steel
Fates of foes are what we seal
With swords of laser light
And over lands and over seas
Onwards victory / Voltes V

so this is what limbo feels like

there's still no certainty about the current state of the big blue ...i think its mostly certain that there's a new building in sight but so far the only certainty in terms of headcount reduction is teh first wave for the factory by end of this year. after an hour of chatting with our manager this morning, from her perspective, it seems that "our" job is technically secure even if we are "regional" positions. this should be good, make that great, news if we were actually looking at staying. but the remaining pinoys in my group is a 25 year veteran who is all but ready to reap her millions, another who has plans of pursuing other options and i, who is but ready to move into a different industry. the only consolation i here is that our manager seems to be supportive of what we want (at least that's how it seems today). i'm kind of waiting to receive a package and while there have been a number of calls for job openings to which i've all indicated "i'm looking (for a job)" there really is no certainty of moving out until after i'm certain of getting the package. the additional responsibilities that i've inherited from a resigned colleague most certainly makes me busy these days. its downright tactical which can be exhilirating except that they're all issues (problems in semicon speak) that needs to be taken cared of.

i should be happy i have a very flexible job - and i am grateful don't get me wrong. i earn decently. the only thing i am wanting right now is the thrill into moving into uncharted territory - that should scare me but it really doesn't. almost 11 years in the semicon is a long time it makes me feel ancient. the thrill and the challenge a new industry and company poses makes me giddy and adrenalin all but shoots through my veins at the thought of it. i should be careful what i wish for but this lull career-wise is killing me.

this is what steady feels like, when you're not moving forward and you're not moving back - a limbo of sorts. well i should just make the most of it, take the time to pursue other interests like this photography thing, and hopefully soon my culinary obsession.

kailan ka ba

to complement the mood i am this week ...
i need someone to .... save me! or grab a drink with me! =P


Kailan Ka Ba - Sugarfree

Duda ang aking kasama, at sabay kami sa aming pag-iisa
Meron akong, matagal nang hinahanap
at ang takot ko’y di sya mahagilap

[refrain]
Dumaan na ba sya? Di ko lang napuna?
Ilang gabi pang laman ng isip?
Ilang araw pang magtatanong?

[chorus]
Kung sino? Nasan?
Kailan ka ba darating at ako ay sagipin
sa mundong malupit, at naiinip
Sino? nasan? kailan ka ba?

Walang silbi sa akin ang gabi
at di makatulog sa kahihintay sa 'yo
Kung ika’y dumating, kailangang tanggapin
na baka di ka naman maging akin

[repeat refrain and chorus]

Sino ka man dumating ka na please
Sino ka man dumating ka na please
Sino? nasan? kailan?

i need a drink

seriously, i need a drink. its one of 'em days when i spiral down into fits of depression. it comes and goes and maybe its because i've been trying to do too many things at the same time. its easy to forget about it when i'm with other people but its the alone time that gets me. shopping used to be good therapy but i'm over indiscriminate spending (ok, i've improved on that big time!). blogging lately has been a bit of a chore, not finding anything to talk about and not finding the words to write something much more coherent than this. its the lack of things to say that makes me babble ... its these momentary bouts of sadness that i hate so much because there's no hand i can hold on to except my own. its not for the lack of friends, i just prefer to sort out my own personal demons. i've never been good talking about my sad stories which has got me to start blogging in the first place. lately though, baring my soul to the public doesn't seem to be such a great idea.

where's that bottle of shiraz when you need one?

a dark knight to remember

so i probably am one of the last few who hasn't seen "the dark knight" but i did manage to catch it last night with d who incidentally was watching it for the second time. i was planning on running some errands before meeting up with d so i dutifully allocated 2 full hours to drive to makati. i left at 4pm thinking that was enough time to swing by a couple of stores and even took the skyway. wow, annoyingly, right after the tollgate, the cars were piled up - totally non-moving. it moved after a good 10mins and then stopped again right before the don bosco exit. i heard from passerby's (yeah there were people walking going down and checking things out) that they weren't letting cars pass cause of the streets were flooded. it was probably 45mins after when we started to move and i realized that there won't be time to swing by the stores anymore. two full hours just to get to makati.

we decided to grab a light meal at the small italianni's in glorietta and grabbed a full order of the sicilian salad. i thought the serving would be bigger but d & i were both disappointed that we each just had one serving of the greens and the bill racked up to around 600 pesos. while i love that sicilian salad, that was so not worth it. this is why italianni's kind of rank low in my list of restaurants - they're way overpriced so i prefer CPK any day.

what can i say about "the dark knight"? it was definitely very well made and bears that dark theme christopher nolan is known for. heath ledger did a fantastic job on the joker. this film definitely is not for kids. it is a grown-up flick and should have had a R-18 rating. i felt like i saw very little of bruce wayne (christian bale) throughout the flick and so much more of batman. i didn't like that batman had to talk in that deep, husky almost inaudible voice - what's the deal with that? the film was quite long and i must have been kind of tired because i committed the ultimate crime - i sort of felt sleepy in some of the scenes. (lol). batman is not your typical superhero. he is in some way but he's the only one in the justice league who doesn't have superpowers. some may not like that and others might because that means there's more realism to it. while i'm not really a big batman fan (i'm more inclined to the superpowered ones), i must admit that the last two bat flicks were very good (hmmm don't like katie holmes that much though) and they did an amazing job resurrecting this franchise. so here's to more superhero flicks ... may they keep on coming!

pet peeve: why is it that some people continue to answer their mobiles in the movie theater? talk as if the other people can't hear them. the other thing i hate are those who sit at your back and their legs, feet touch the back of your seat and they shift their them like non-stop. or even those who talk non-stop and make comments every freakin' scene. aarrrggghhh. silence is golden di ba?

breaktime : ang araw ni inday

the "inday" series is probably one of the funniest. she can be really funny with her witty, grandoise hold of english but moreso when she butchers the language. i was laughing so hard reading this one yesterday. kudos to whoever is the author who comes out with these stories that sure brightens any day. [disclaimer : inday's beau in this story is not me. we, unfortunately just share a common name.]

It was jazz an ordinary day.
The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw!

Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: "Indaaaayyyy. ....."

'Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?

"Dodong!" sigaw ko.

Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko "Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.

"Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open? tanong nya.

"Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko eh" sabi ko.

Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. he's every woman's dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.

"Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?" tanong ni Dodong. "I don't mine" sagot ko.

Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. "What's your odor sir?" sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.

"Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni Dodong.

"Yes sir" sabi nito. "Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. it also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully" dagdag niya.

"And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa akin.

Hmmm... mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I'm cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.

"I'll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh." sagot ko.

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it's a long, long way to run.

"Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I'm happily married" pagmamalaki ko.

"Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn't expect you still have more feelings than I expected. i don't want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect." dagdag ko pa.

Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.

"I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it's his other woman that caused our separation to part.

Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.

"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?" sabi ko sa mamang guard.

"Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure." sagot niya.

"Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes."

"Diretso lang." sabi niya. "Then turn right anytime with care."

"Thanks for your corporation" sabi ko.

Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag disappear nya.

"Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!" pananakot nya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.

Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it's all over. I'm out of arm's way.

"Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?" bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:

"I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn't give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then i give it a thought. I know something is a missed."

From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn't even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga.

Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa't-isa at walang exhibitions. i feel I'm on cloud.

reflections on this whole photography thing

i've been quite giddy with the whole photography thing and i've really been looking forward to our weekend practice sessions lately. it is indeed a welcome distraction from mostly everything and i was reluctant at first because i kind of have a history of getting into things i use only for a few weeks and then off they go into dormancy. i still have that gameboy color i used for a couple of weeks and quickly lost interest - its sitting there gathering dust as we speak. the thing about this whole photography shooting sessions is that it helps me tap into that creative part of my head that has been suppressed for the last ten years. working in the semicon industry, i'm paid to think in logical and predictable patterns. and so while i resigned myself into using my creative abilities beautifying the multitude of powerpoint presentations and excel worksheets, i crave for something more substantial and challenging. i probably would have gone into culinary having had a thing for food since way back but getting into the whole photography thing is a mixture of luck and probably timing. my interest would probably have snuffed out in a month or two and i'll realize a point-and-shoot was all i ever needed to begin with if it weren't for my photo buddies (richard, malou, dino). i'm beginning to realize how much of the world there is to see in a different perspective and i don't know if i'll be able to be as good as the other people who are into this photography thing. right now, all i know is that i want to be able to take better pictures and whether those will ever be called "great" or "awesome" by more seasoned or more experienced photographers (like teddy) doesn't bother me a bit. the quandary here being i am an engineer by profession and i have been conditioned to think logically. trying to tap into the creative region of my left brain may be difficult. trying to be good at both will make me extraordinary - i'm not sure i'm that kind of person though.

the least i can do is see where this enthusiasm leads to - tell myself that i tried it. at least get an ROI for the camera. of course i'll be posting select pictures from each and every shoot and you can tag along to see whether i have a future with this or i'm just squandering my time.

adventures in commuting

so i finally decided it was time to get the dent (from the waaay too long ago trip to bataan) from the crv fixed and drove the car to the accredited repair shop past lunch. since there wasn't anyone available to pick me up, i decided i would just use the public transportation to get home. its not that i don't know how to - its really been a long time since i last tried it. i don't even know how much fares cost now with all the oil price hikes and economic turmoil. when i rode the jeepney, i gave the driver 20 pesos and realized from the change that fares are now at Php8.50. the ride was pleasant since there weren't a lot of people in the jeepney and my stop is like 3 to 5 minutes away. the tryke ride from toyota to mcdo was kind of expensive (around 40 pesos) but i decided to take that instead of another jeepney ride because at least the tryke ride is non-stop. the only thing i realized riding the tryke was that the passenger cabin is small and i have to bow my head a bit so i don't hit the ceiling. that tryke ride took a good 10-15 minutes my neck was starting to hurt a bit by then. it was another set of jeep & tryke rides before i finally managed to get home. the commute wasn't really hard, it was the warm weather that makes doing it difficult. not knowing where its safe to cross and how much is the fare doesn't help either.

i should try to ride the MRT one of these days. its been on my list for so long. if only public transportation here is as efficient as it is in singapore or hong kong then i probably will be commuting more. but you know, here in manila, its not as efficient and it can be a traumatic experience. i got home in one piece so that makes me a survivor. lol.

about presentations

i'm going to have a presentation in a few minutes to a bunch of senior managers about a role i have just transitioned to. previous person is no longer available to coach or help answer questions. i just finished my material thirty minutes ago - procastinating seems to be a habit these days. i had to drink a cup of coffee because i was just really groggy trying to wake up and think very early this morning. i am really hoping the presentations go smoothly and appeal to them about my "newness" in the role. i'm not really worried though because i've done presentations a thousand times. the problem is i can only speak to what i know, and right now i know very little. hopefully, me being charming works wonders.

meeting new people - teddy ladran

malou and i were supposed to go to enchanted kingdom today as part of our passion to honing our skills in taking better pictures. a couple of days ago, malou mentioned that ted who is one of her contact in multiply wanted to come (from faraway bulacan) and join us. now ted is waaaay ahead of us when it comes to photography - and despite everything he will say, you can just see how far he's gone in his photos. i was kind of open to meeting up and having a complete stranger join us because one way of learning faster about photography is if you have someone who has experience to criticize and give you pointers. besides, ted isn't a complete stranger to malou since she's been in contact & conversation with him for a good few months already. the thing though is i'm not really an EB person and would rather really meet up people by traditional means - i'm old in that sense. i decided to go lest ted comes out to be a psycho and malou all by her lonesome will forever haunt my conscience.

ted turns out to be one of the more fascinating people i have ever met. he's uber nice, fit (which i hate him for, give it a few years dude!) and has a rich pool of experiences (work, life, photography) that makes conversing with him quite interesting. imagine hanging out from 145pm all the way to 10pm talking over coffee (ok, i had one social drink), dinner (courtesy of malou - thanks for dinner!) and coffee again (hmm no wonder i was feeling droopy already, i didn't have another shot of caffeine). ted taught us something new about exposures, filters (this dude is so into IR photography now) and a few tips here and there. its too bad ted is just waiting for his visa anytime soon (as in anytime) to work in london. the eternal optimist in me thinks "uy, meron na kaming contact (read: lodging) sa london!" but really i feel bad about meeting this great guy and teacher (calling him IDOL is so stalker-like hehehe) just yesterday.

ted, it was great to meet somebody like you. you are a very fascinating person and i look forward to learning from your critiques. i'll pray you get your visa soon and hopefully i'll be able to set-up the shoot this coming weekend so we can hang out.

long night

my nephew has been having tummy aches for the past two nights and he's been a bit feverish that last night when he woke up complaining again, we decided to bring him to the ER of the Asian Hospital. it was around 10pm that time and i was getting ready for bed already because i was planning to wake up around 4am to work on some stuff. the doctor ordered a blood test (cbc) and urinalysis (we got him checked-up that morning also and the doctor suggested urinalysis) to hopefully figure out what's wrong with him. take a needle to a 4 year old kid and you know how they will react. i myself, even having a high tolerance for pain, wince at the sight of a needle going through my skin. the nurse managed to get some blood the first time but since jacob was moving a lot, the needle must have dislodged and the extract wasn't enough for the test. they had to call in two additional nurses to sort of "restrain" our little boy and "mummify" him with the blanket so they can get the blood extract. the sight of my nephew crying and calling at me for help is heartbreaking. for a 4yo, all they know is that this is painful and they look at you to protect them from it. i had to hug him after that and it took him a good while before he agreed to lie down on the hospital bed again. the cbc checked out ok but it was hard to get urine sample at this time so we tried waiting. i was dead tired around 2am that i decided to try get some rest at the car. the doctor said we can just go back in the morning to submit the urine sample and we can take my nephew home. it has been a long night and we got home around 330am.

my brain feels like jell-o right now. i managed to attend my 7am meeting and have enough energy to stay focused. right now, all i really care about is my nephew getting back to good health.

feeling celebrity

in the latest issue (aug 2008) of star studio magazine, i was thrilled to see that our picture was included in the article featuring our good friend biboy's 40th bday last june at dolce in quezon city. although the pic is not that big, our names were clearly spelled out (for simplicity, i was tagged as part of the "bench" groupie). that party was star-studden and it was rockin'.

zooming in ....

friday mingling

the thing i love about fridays is that its a sign that the work week is over and everyone can look to the coming weekend without having to worry about sleeping much later or even the whole day. today started out quite unlike the previous fridays and i don't want really want to say it lest i jinx it and every fridays becomes like today. for the work which hasn't even started transitioning to me, i've already received numerous emails on issues, issues and more issues. this work is really going to take up a lot of my time, i can just tell. the only good thing about this is that i'm kind of used to all the firefighting (re: issue dealing) and i'm very good at organizing and coordinating what needs to happen together. so despite the possibly lame one-week transition, i think i should be able to handle this new role pretty well, hiccups notwithstanding.

a fitting recap to friday is finally being able to see "hancock" on the big screen. it was just a so-so film for me and i say i still prefer will smith's "i am legend" over this flick. the former having more substance and more plot than this film. its not to say that it wasn't enjoyable - cause i'm a sucker for super hero flicks, or anything with destruction for that matter.

dinner at california pizza kitchen was awesome. i had to take my "free" day today so i could enjoy the pasta and pizza. we got the kung pao spaghetti and mushroom, pepperoni and sausage pizza. the only thing i can say is that the mushroom, pepperoni and sausage pizza probably is the best pizza i have eaten - ever! i could taste the tangy sweetness of the tomatoes and the perfect blend of pepperoni and sausage with a really great mozarella. dino and i gave that pizza 5 stars. we were tempted to order another pizza but decided that pigging out probably wasn't such a great idea.

now if i wasn't doing this diet crap, i probably would have eaten that whole pizza. tossed in a bucket of KFC with a good dvd movie. i'm set for the weekend.

one can dream.

everything reminds me of you

*while this song is so not dedicated to anybody in particular, i can't get over this song and i've listened to it for like a hundred times. some of you probably might find it cheesy or overly sentimental but the one thing i love about jewel is that she sure throws out these beautiful melodies. i can't help but love and adore her. this song is taken from her new album with a country theme "perfectly clear." i love this album.

everything reminds me of you
jewel (from the album "perfectly clear")

I walk around the room
It's funny how these little things remind me of you
And I have this hole in my chest
But I guess you know me good enough that you know all the rest

Well If it made it all right,
I'll spend the night with you dear
You'd only reappear
Cause everything reminds me of you
And its just gonna take a little getting used to
cause everything reminds me of you

And I imagine you
Looking so small in that big bedroom
And I well i am haunted at night
I know you must feel the same way
I wish we both still felt alright

Well if it made it all right,
I'll spend the night with you dear
You'd only reappear
Cause everything reminds me of you
And its just gonna take a little getting used to
cause everything reminds me of you

Love is built kiss by kiss
Just like a house, brick by brick,
So it has to be undone

You've got your sad eyes to hide behind
You've got your lies and Lord knows that I've got mine

But if it made it all right,
I'd spend the night with you dear
You'd only reappear
Cause everything reminds me of you
And its just gonna take a little getting used to
And its just gonna take a little getting used to
cause everything reminds of you

lucky

you know the chances of winning in any raffle is like one in a million but we do join in anyway for a variety of reasons. one, is because the raffle tickets sort of come free from some purchase we made. two, you lose nothing except your hand getting numb from filling up the multitude of raffle tickets. and three, a 1 in a million chance still means there's a chance luck will be on your side and you will be that 1 in a million.

a couple or so months ago, we went to SM MOA to purchase a special 50th anniversary SM non-stick pan made by sunnex. we bought it because i've been really hooked into cooking (in general) my own meals (as part of my efforts to diet, ok scratch that, eat healthier) and it was a steal at 500 bucks. the kind sales guy informed us there was a raffle and mom and i dutifully filled up the raffle tickets. hmm, i just remembered that apart from that sunnex pan, the sales guy managed to convince us to buy another pan with a glass cover which we really liked.

as luck would have it, mom got a call today telling her she has won two (2) tickets to Hong Kong from that raffle. i think that was the grand prize. Hopefully, that trip comes with accommodation and some pocket money. That would be sweet! Let's see how that fits into our plan to go to HK Disney this year. Now maybe we should try our luck on the lottery. maybe lady luck will come and visit us again.

be careful what you wish for

the last time i talked to my manager, in the spirit of fairness (or maybe my own guilty conscience) i told her work has been easy lately. ok, i don't want to lie, it has been relatively easy for quite some time. in short, i asked her to tell me what other areas i can work on so that i can shake up the guilt everytime i pull-out some money from the atm. in my own defense, i did ask for more work a number of times already and i've been waiting. that conversation took place a couple of weeks ago.

this morning, i had an impromptu 1:1 with my manager who informed me that one of my colleagues has resigned effective in two weeks. one of those two weeks he's taking leave. its not hard to imagine where this conversation is leading and what my answer will be. its not that don't welcome the "work", its the circumstances of getting it - minimal transition, instant involvement. this is going to stress me out a bit until i get the hang of it. oh well - maybe the stress can help me shed some pounds. so i sit here munching on my walnuts, wondering whether this is karma or an answered prayer. i munch again a couple of walnuts, stare at the wall and still can't come to a conclusion. hahaha oh well, one day at a time.

hopefully, there isn't so much work involved here. I don't want to be WORKA, the killer whale.

---------------------------------- oooOooo ----------------------------------

on the subject of nuts, i'm super addicted to walnuts. they're so good in banana cakes. they're so good in my oatmeal. they're not that expensive @ P240 per 500g. i have a jar of almonds too but they're hard to chew on but they're a great snack to curb hunger. snack on 20-24pcs before lunch and you'll be good. they say nuts spike up uric acid and oatmeal too. its a choice between lowering your cholesterol (oatmeal) and losing weight (nuts) versus uric acid. why can't we have our cake and eat it too? btw, freakin' pecans are way too expensive ... double that of walnuts. nothing is cheap in the world anymore. oh yeah, i think life is about P20,000 which is how much a passenger was insured from the sunken liner.

past week happenings

nothing much to write on so i'll just write a recap of the past week ...

• monday. attended the last night of tita rory's wake. touching eulogies. pancake house dinner. starbuck's nightcap. seeing old friends from college. late night again.
• tuesday. attended the funeral service in the afternoon. kfc lunch. final mass before the funeral service. it was a hot and humid afternoon. manila memorial park. made me remember i need to visit abet more. kitaro early dinner.
  
• wednesday. get together pot-luck dinner at the tensuan's house with college friends. it was supposed to be for cindy & rod before they go back to singapore but they couldn't make it. we still decided to hold the party since we bought all our potluck stuff the day before. i cooked my adjusted moroccan fish with mango-cilantro salsa. it was a hit and everybody loved it and asked for the recipe. yes, i have a knack for cooking.
• thursday. dino & i finally was able to see "wanted." we ate a lot at dinner. we also felt adventurous and ordered a plateful of frog legs. it was quite good except i hated always accidentally muching on the bones (hirap alisin e!).
• friday. free dinner @ aling tonya's at the dampa-like in macapagal. i ate so much that night. starbuck's nightcap at harbor square. late night ulit.
• saturday. photoshoot canceled. decided not to leave the comforts of my room. ok, kabaduyan - watched "when love begins" lol ... it wasn't bad. it wasn't that good either. the john lloyd-bea movie still tops my list.
• sunday. went to the derma - facial and derma-lift. wasn't expecting that derma-lift thing but the doctor said i should get one. and since this is the "health is wealth" theme year for me so i just did it. lol. finally got that power-saver thing from ace hardware. had my last sinful "Champ" burger from jollibee before i start on my diet and super todo gym effort tomorrow.

i realized that despite its limitations and crappy signal, i've been making good use of my SUN cellular mobile the past month. For P150 a month, its a cheap way of staying in touch and i realized i have friends who have SUN numbers. got mom a SUN number too and my sister also has a SUN number. cheap way to keep in touch with the fam. coolness.

there's so many things to learn about photography and my D80. the last pictures i took at starbux were crap. i think i had some decent snaps but they were ruined by not being tack-sharp. well we're going to practice next saturday at BF, Memorial and Santana so hopefully will be able to take better control of the camera and settings.

i'm super addicted to jewel's latest country cd "Perfectly Clear". I actually love all of the songs but what most stand out for me is the song "Everything Reminds Me Of You" which is what is playing at this time on my main multiply page. That CD is actually the only thing i listen to driving around. I love Jewel Kilcher. I could even marry her (lol!).

for some reason, i've been sleeping really late lately. way past my 10pm bedtime. my social life is somewhat in hyperdrive lately. i am kinda liking it.

something to look forward to

3-day F1 tickets - check!
PAL Plane tickets to Singapore - check!
Yep, i'm going to Singapore! Yeba, life is good!

love letter

my 4yo nephew upon arriving from school a couple of days ago gave me his school project.

how can you not love this little boy? my baby boy is turning 5 next month.

look at me! look at me!

yipee! i finally got my crumpler 6MD camera bag!
it screams "look at me! look at me!" with its flashy, ultimate-slut RED color!
I LOVE IT!
Thanks to my HS friend D for his generosity!

the past few days

the past few days have been a bit tiring. we spent a good few nights attending tita rory's wake - paying our respects to her, being there for our good friend cindy and chatting up and seeing folks from way back college. i'd have to say that in the past two weeks, we (college friends) have been hanging out more than probably the past five years combined. maybe this is tita rory's gift to us also - to bring us closer together and tell us that here we have a lasting friendship. that we should treasure having stayed friends after college (that's more than 15 years going now) and that despite the rarity of our get-togethers, its still as if we only last hanged-out yesterday. you can tell by the sheer volume of people who attend tita rory's wake what a remarkable and loved woman she is. we will surely miss her but we all know she is happy where she is right now.

i am very proud of my friend cindy. she has been very strong - calm & collected, through most of the last days. sure there were times she cried but for the most part, i think she is comforted by knowing tita rory is with the Lord. its been a difficult two weeks and the probably the next few weeks wouldn't be easy either. but God is good, and i know that He will help her family deal with the absence of tita rory.

i attended tita rory's interment yesterday at manila memorial. a bunch of us were there and we realized that at our age, we're already past mid-life (looking at tita rory's age). the events of the past weeks in a way made me realize a lot of things - stuff that you wouldn't normally have in everyday conversations. one is that my resolve to try and stick it here in manila, career-wise, has never been more absolute. being with my family, my mom specially, during her remaining years is priceless. second is that, morbid as it may sound, me and my friends started talking about what we want when our own time comes. i realized i would opt to be cremated. whether i want my ashes to be spread out into the wind is another matter - may drama di ba? third, heids mentioned there's this book available (from my alma mater's bookstore) that you fill-up in preparation for when that fateful day comes. parang will if you must ... i call it "documented bilins." being a grown-up talaga sure ain't fun.

so there, live life to the fullest. no regrets.

aurora tiongson (1947-2008)

tita rory, my good friend cindy's mom, has been in the hospital since last thursday after she suffered a stroke. when we visited her last monday, she seemed better and wednesday during lunch with some friends, her condition was still improving. yesterday morning, i got word from cinds that tita rory suffered another stroke and was in critical condition. the family decided for her to have an operation but sadly, tita rory finally met with our Creator around 930pm last night.

death is indeed a frightening reality. we know of it but it is never something you can fully prepare for. having had to deal with it a number of times doesn't make it any easier. last night, it felt like it was a scene from a movie - the one you watch and dismiss as something that probably will never happen to you. we go on with the foolish notion that death is something we will never have to deal with when in fact it is the only certainty in this world. gummi and i made a good decision being there last night - this is the best we, as friends, can do for cinds that time. to let her know that we sympathize in whatever she and her family are going through. that her mom was somebody special - that we know her and that we she was in someway our extended mother.

there are a lot of things to remember tita rory for. she can be quite softspoken. she cooks really really delicious meals (her kare-kare is so good) and she has always opened their house for most of our parties back in college. she has been a great woman and an even greater mom. she's with the Lord already and there's comfort in that.

in a standstill

my career will probably be at a standstill a lot longer than expected. the delay in the announcement of what the final plans are for the future just makes things more uncertain. i still have mixed feelings right now - still excited about the prospect of venturing into a new playing field and yet anxious at the same time on how easy it is to find another good-paying job. maybe my horoscope is right, this is not a good year to switch careers and maybe there is really some truth in those readings. looking at the schedule (if it comes to pass), early next year seeems to be a good bet all things considered. there's still a lot to be thankful for (having this job) - i'm still earning the same paycheck, i still enjoy the perks of my job (believe me, its awesome, can't find another job like this) and i get work-life balance. what i don't like is that it just doesn't challenge me the way it should - and maybe i am screwed up in that i want, or rather i need some stress. i want to be on my feet again, get more busy --- or maybe i should just shut up and tell myself "be careful what you wish for."

it is foolish to leave at the prospect of getting the package. that is for certain. my boss asked me again in our 1:1 about it and i still said "i am still considering it. depending of course on what my future opportunities are in this organization." hopefully plans solidify soon so i can plot a course where i'm headed.

To infinity ... and beyond!

yugto - rico blanco

coolness this song! rico blanco rocks!!!

yugto
rico blanco

Sa gitna ng kagubatan may ahas na hahalik
Tatawagin kang kaibigan na pinaka matalik
Pupulupot sa leeg mo't sisipsip ng iyong dugo
Ipapako ka sa krus kapag ikaw ay natuyo

Sa gitna ng kaguluhan may kumukulong bulkan
Di ma pigil ang yabang at sakdal na kasakiman
Susubukang angkinin ang lahat ng hindi kanya
Kung kaya kang paikutin tiyak paiikutin ka

Ngunit hindi nila kayang baliin ang iyong loob
Ang pag-ibig na hawak mo’y hindi malulubog

Lumiyab ka….

Sa gitna ng kadiliman may buwitreng nagmamasid
May magbabato ng putik ngunit walang mayayanig
Iiyak ang mga batang nahulugan ng candy
Laging mga problema sa iba’y sinisisi

Sa gitna ng kagubatan may ahas na hahalik
Itinuring mong kaibigan na pinaka matalik
Leeg mo’y pupuluputan dugo mo’y sisipsipin
Kapag wala ka nang pakinabang ang ending mo’y sa bangin

Ngunit hindi nila kayang baliin ang iyong loob
Ang pag-ibig na hawak mo’y hindi malulubog

Lumiyab ka….

Tuwing hating gabi maririnig mo ang huni
Ng mga kaluluwang naliligaw
Lahat ng pera sa mundo hindi kayang gawing ginto
Ang huwad na tao..

Ang mga tinig palakas ng palakas
hanggang gumuho ang mga hadlang

Saksi ang langit sa lahat ng naganap
Saksi ang langit sa ikalawang yugto …

Lumiyab ka….

best gift

i closed book 33 at midnight last night and ushered in the beginning of book 34 amidst a flurry of early well-wishers. i am fortunate to know a whole bunch of people who, despite the longevity of our acquiantance or the infrequency of our get togethers, still remember special ocassions. i realized how short life can be when a good friend passed away very young and from then on, treated each birthday as a gift. While i still cringe at the mere mention of the number 34, i do feel lucky and humbled that God has given me a life, beset with victories and defeats, that hopefully matters to the people i know. so cheers to the past 33 years and here's looking forward (and upward) to 34.

gifts came unexpectedly from friends last night. i still can't believe i have found really GREAT friends in grad school because you know, normally those lifelong bonds are formed early on during high school or college. grad school (GS) friends, the gifts were touching because it tells me how much you have appreciated my friendship. please know that i treasure our friendship - in my heart! thanks for the springfield shirt & belt, been wanting a pink shirt forever and its like you read my mind. the banana rep scented candles were uber chic. i love 'em.

i'd have to say the best gift i received in the past 33 years would be the pink bear (photo), hands down. its the best because my four-year old nephew won it at timezone this afternoon and told my mom "this is my gift to uncle jay!" tell me, coming from a four year old, being able to decide to give his prize as a gift just melts your heart. times like these, as i hold him tight and revel at the sheer innocence and love in his little body makes all of the sacrifices worth it. and i don't even like pink teddies. this one is a keeper though.

the funny thing about today (and last night) was that when a friend asked about my plate number, i realized that this month is the deadline to have the car registration renewed. dammit, i wasn't prepared to shell out 5k pesos for it. that now screws up budget for this month. dammit. dammit.

lunch was awesome. very far but awesome. we ate lunch at "panciteria san jacinto" along e rodriguez jr and the food was really really good. i ate so much it would put everyone to shame. well its the last day to feast so much cause diet starts tomorrow. i really need to shape up --- as in! or i won't be able to wear 3 very very nice shirts. ugh.

it was nice to hear my celfone beeping and ringing continuously. people remembered. it meant i mattered. that is what makes life worth living. thank you to everyone who remembered. thank you for the years of friendship.

"you know you love me. xoxo."

starting tomorrow

ok, so the title seems a bit procastinating but there's a reason for that. one is that as far as me being OC and not wanting to start anything without any semblance of a plan is that tomorrow is a special day and like new year may mark a new beginning, at least for me. making resolutions is something i don't really like doing and despite me being mostly amenable to following rules in general, promises like these which bear no consequences makes me more "flexible." Flexible here being i can just forget i ever made that resolution and get on with my life. maybe this time it will be different, the key is to continuously try and hit more of what was listed the previous time. somebody said "try and try until you succeed." i say "try and try until you die."

1. take this photography thing seriously. i've already made the plunge to buy that Nikon D80 i've been wishing for since last year. i promise to start taking pictures, pictures, pictures .... i think that is the only way to hone the "eye" and master the multitude of controls. i'm very happy that i have really good friends to practice with.
2. read, read, read. i've got loads of e-books i managed to scour from the net except that i think i'm old school and prefer the physical - i just find it easier turning the pages of an actual book. It works better for my back and won't strain my eyes.
3. learn photoshop. i just finally realized how much you can do with this magnificent software and all i can say is that i was hooked trying out some techniques. this is one software i promise i am going to be really good at! ha!
4. make smart use of my free time. i've been squandering most of my free time not doing anything really productive. those are valuable hours gone forever and i need to invest those hours wisely.
5. get in the best shape for Christmas and 2009 summer. been treating the gym like a charity institution lately and in this time and age when money is hard, 2K a month is a lot of money.

there. maybe five things won't be that hard to turn into actions. willpower this one. hope i get lucky and land some work sidelines too, i could really use the extra moolah. the expenses are insane. still optimistic nevertheless because still many more things to be thankful for.

having an asshole dad

perhaps the greatest tragedy in my life was having had that man that my mother married. and sure if it hadn't been for him, i would never have come to this world. maybe that would have been a better option instead of me being here, filled with so much anger and resentment. i hate him. and i am not ashamed of saying that. and if you have been blessed with two loving parents, then count yourself as lucky, i wasn't.

i feel this way right now because i just had a terrible fight with that man on the most seemingly trivial matter. i was going to use the chopping board and saw that it was returned unwashed still with traces of the tomatoes and onions he had used in the afternoon. he was in the living room eating in a bowl that time and i reminded him to wash it next time before stowing it away. i thought that was it until after a few minutes he answered me back in a super sarcastic tone of "pasensya ka na kasi marami akong hinugasan kanina. nakalimutan lang." it wasn't the words but more of the tone that irritated me so i told him "sana sabihin mo na lang ng maayos, wag ka ng mag-pilosopo." this time i was already very irritated and i've been very patient with him already. he shouted back something, dagger looks and all and threw the bowl he was eating from at me in the kitchen. He began accusing me of being obnoxious just because i had a job, that i had money, etc. etc. Fuck naman, never akong nag-complain sa kanya about the money i was pouring into the family. Never kong pinamukha sa kanila na i was paying for everything. that i was doing for him his obligations to the family. and then you will hear words like that - pucha naman, sila ang nakikinabang sa pinagtratrabahuhan ko and the least i could ask from him is mag-contribute man lang kahit in the most minor way. When he stupidly drank that one whole bottle of red wine and hoards of his diabetes drugs and i had to bring him to the hospital, i paid the whole hospital bill. i never even got a "thank you" for that. its not about the money, its sana man lang appreciation man lang for the sacrifices i've been doing. after a while pala, trying so hard to be the responsible one is nakakapagod na din. parang ayoko na.

honestly, i don't think i can take this anymore. maybe its best if i just moved out and live on my own. maybe that way, everyone will be able to wake up and do something. like the 31yo brother who does nothing all day and doesn't seem interested in finding gainful employment. or my sister, who despite her recent experiences hasn't really learned to value her health and manage her finances. i think that is what frustrates me so bad, i have to do all the work and i have to also be the one who has to think of ways to save. for the brother and that man, walang effect - its like everything is just normal. that there is some infinite source somewhere.

arrrgggghhh, ayoko na. i can't take this anymore.

lusting for a crumpler bag

the camera bag that came with my nikon D80 isn't as sturdy and protective as i expected. truth be told, i've been lusting for a crumpler bag for quite some time now and i guess my affinity for color hasn't waned from the first time i bought kipling, another cool, belgian-made bag. I didn't say i am going to buy this bag, but just in case i figure out on some extra dough - this definitely fits me perfectly. stylish, yet fully functional. should it be red, for that "look at me! look at me!" effect? should it be beige or black for that "conservative" look? should it be blue for that "huh, blue again?" look? This is perfect - the 6 Million Dollar Home! $105.50 from the Crumpler USA website. Total coolness!

what's your travel personality (from juli)

Your Travel Personality Is: The Bonder

For you, travel is less about where you're going - but who you're going with. It's no fun to experience an amazing city or a beautiful beach without your friends. In fact, it doesn't really matter where you go... because you and your friends always figure out how to have fun!

What's Your Travel Personality?

new toy

finally. its been a long time coming. i'm giddy finally getting my hands on this one.

still in its box. reading the manual. yeba!

life in qc

going to biboy & dale's birthday party at dolce along timog last night was probably one of the best decisions i've made. sure its a weekday (aka work day) and the party started at 10pm (admittedly during weekdays, this screams bedtime) but i have to say that this party really rocked. take this - free-flowing booze, snacks (yellowcab, a lot of cocktails imaginable) and lots and celebrities, models and who's who in showbiz, i honestly couldn't help but get starstrucked. there was john lloyd with his beau liz uy, toni g & paul, be bench (carlo, john james), palos star jake, bea alonzo, gorgeous bing loyzaga, caught pbb teen robi, other stars i can't remember their names and models models everywhere (pinoys, brazilians, etc). what more can you ask for? its too bad i kind of had to leave early around 130am since i have an early morning meeting today.

got home at around 2, fixed myself for bedtime and tried to get some shuteye. i'd have to say the meds i'm taking sucks, i only managed to get an hour and a half sleep. i hope i get over the insomnia thing - me & lack of sleep isn't really a very good combination. so right now, i'm running on i don't know - don't really feel that sleepy yet but hopefully i can get some nap time during lunch hour.

life in qc. its awesome. i love it.

tidbits

the past few weeks have been quite busy in between work, going out with friends and attending to some personal stuff as well. lately i can't really find anything to talk about but my intention of keeping this site like a personal journal wouldn't make sense if i don't talk about what's been happening lately.

• its my good old friend, dale's birthday today and coincidentally, its also his roommate B's birthday as well. it is also the birthday of dette who used to work with dale and who i met briefly but we hit it off right away. three birthday's today - smack that! dale and i go way back in high school and out of everyone, he and i has managed to stay in contact because we went to the same college, same course and worked briefly in the same company before i moved out to the old blue.
• dale and i have been seeing this recommended dermatologist for some skin pampering. its probably because the thought of turning 34 this month that got us at edge and wanting desperately to make us more youthful. i guess the great news here is that looking youthful wouldn't be that difficult - i am, with confidence, say i do not look 34ish at all. but really, going to that dermatologist (even if it is super faraway) is a worth investment. i just love how my skin looks right now. yeah, vanity will probably be the death of me.
• i went to see another doctor recently (ok, nothing life threatening here) and she prescribed me some prednisone (along with a couple of other stuff). its steroids in short and i've been reading about it to understand more about its side effects. i'm on it for one week and i'd have to get back to her next week hopefully to taper off on these meds. i'd have to say i hate it - its making me irritable, moody and my joints and muscles feels like lead. not to mention, its going to make me fat and bloated. waaah! (insert crying face here!).
• work has been ok lately. finishing up some major items the past week makes this week a bit lighter. there are some other items i'm kind of late in working on because i have to prioritize but hopefully i will be able to finish everything this week.
• d & b will be celebrating their birthday with a party tonight right there in faraway timog. i should probably not go seeing its a tuesday and the party doesn't start until 10pm but its kind of hard to say no. also because i expect to see a lot of beautiful people and celebrities out there. hahaha and no, i'm not startstrucked easily.
• finally, i've submitted my insurance claim papers already and its approved already. i just have to check the accredited shop i'm planning to get the crv fixed. i hope they do a good job and yes, i promise never to be stupid driving again. i am a very good driver and that incident was a slip.

no word yet on the future of the old blue. maybe next week we'll hear something. been dying waiting for it already. need something definite to work with.

getting things done

the thing i hate the most about myself is that i'm susceptible to procastinating. sometimes i try to rationalize it by telling myself that i'm doing it to put pressure on my otherwise dull work requirements. so while i do work very well under pressure and sky-high stress levels, that is still just a lame excuse and i should get myself whipped for wasting valuable time. yeah, i can get real lazy when i want to and realizing that sucks. its surprising however that i can accomplish a lot of things when i really want to - like yesterday and today, i managed to actually be very productive. i finished two projects on-time, even learned to edit excel macros manually (its not that complicated really!) and edit the formulas for an excel enhancement for another project. i really deserve a pat on the back for that (lol!).

the reason for this sudden reflection is the realization about how many more things i would have accomplished if i really made the effort to budget my time well. i've set my sights on a lot of things but i get the feeling i've squandered a lot of hours doing things that brought leisure and contentment but didn't really move me closer towards my goals. i've really taken "live life a little" to the extremes. realizing this now may be perfect timing. after all, i'll be another year older this month and with age should come wisdom. i need to get my life organized - make real the promises i made to myself. make myself hungry once again to learn, to take control and be where and who i want to be.

another memorable old blue moment

here's another video i found in one of my hard drives of various snippets of old blue memories. there are footages here of our tagaytay trip for the amazing kodakan event, uaap championships get together, parties, badminton and a whole lot more. one really funny part here is the excitement of la salle winning the uaap championships superimposed with fake intel stock quotes hitting the $200 level. sigh, if only that was true, i'd be the first to jump up and down. ahhh i have to admit, i really miss the good old days.