August 15, 2006

sorry isn't as hard in writing

listening to shamrock's version of APO's "paano" for a little over fifteen times yesterday made me nostalgic - there's just something over pained, lovesick lyrics that can dampen your spirits. while i didn't get that all too familiar feelings of depression, it got me thinking though of what life was before the goodbyes and i realized i had some things i needed to apologize for. nope, i am not regressing into a lovesick state but this is something i need to do, even if it will be in writing and mcb will probably not get a chance to read it. so for the record, this is not a "dear mcbaby" letter though it may appear somewhat like that.

i am truly sorry for making you feel awkward around me - i didn't really know what to say around you anymore so i was quiet most of the time. the burden of losing you (our friendship) will forever be on my shoulders alone - and i know that even if i reach out to you now, it's already too late. everything that has happened from that point (when i fell in love with you) to this (when i decided to move on) was my fault - you had nothing to do with. i am truly sorry. know that i will always pray for your happiness (mine too!) and i will be here for you whether you need me or not - that's a promise.

i won't say sorry for loving you because loving you was the best gift.

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