first time this year

yesterday was the first time i attended mass this year. what is tragic is that i do believe in the merits & graces of attending church services during sundays - the hour i gain in personal time is not worth really compared to the blessings i should receive from hearing mass.

i went to hear mass at St Jerome's church near ATC yesterday at six and the church was packed with people spilling over as faraway as the whole parking block. i like hearing mass alone cause there are no distractions, i can listen intently to what the priest is saying and i can pray without being tempted to pass the time chatting with friends. come to think of it, i actually like being inside the church (minus the multitude of peeps & the heatwave) because i can talk to Him openly & temporarily forget how busy the world outside is. i decided to go to church because i read in the paper that easter is actually more important than christmas. while christmas is still something to celebrate, easter has a special significance because it helps remind us of Jesus' triumph over death & the liberation of our sins. a reminder of the ultimate sacrifice - and i wanted to thank Him not only for that but for all the blessings i have received during the past year.

i looked at the variety of people around me - some with their bf/gf, others with their families, others yet with their little children. i couldn't help but ask myself about what legacy i will leave in this world if i won't have children or would my existence not have mattered at all if i didn't contribute to the world's population. honestly, i love children - a lot! and i do think i will be a good parent! but i don't think that kind of life (marriage & all) is for me (except the children).

so where does it leave me? i think in the book of life, each of us have different parts to play. that while not everyone were meant to populate this world, we each have our own contributions. right now, i am just thankful to be alive, thankful that God is always there for my family, that i have good friends and i am lucky to know how it feels to love somebody else.