overanalyze this

dear mcbaby,

i was absentmindedly pulling the tab of the easy-open can of campbell's soup last night when i pulled it up so fast and slashed my right ring finger. i knew it was a deep cut because i felt it and it was bleeding profusely. i washed it in running water quickly for a good minute before i went to get some cotton and taped it tightly. i only took the taping off after i had some dinner since my finger was already turning blue because i had to wrap the taping tight. i dabbed some alcohol onto the cut and then re-taped it after a while (since it still wouldn't stop bleeding). normally, i only get minor scratches here and there but this was one of the majors in a long time.

that incident made me realize how nice it would be if cuts like these can replace all of the emotional turmoil i've gone through in the past few weeks. it was quick, painful and bleeding, but it lasted only a few minutes and i was fine right after- just need to buy some band aids though. in an emotional rollercoaster, it takes a really long time to recover, and sometimes other people without you meaning to gets dragged in. i think my greatest flaw in being an oc (obsessive compulsive) is that i tend to over-analyze stuff (probably cause that's how i was trained, work-wise) and give meaning to an otherwise useless bit of info. but usually, my derivatives turn out correctly. i think God gave me a sign that its time to move on (from you) and i felt silent when i realized it. silence is indeed the most powerful cry. i felt silent because it made me sad. the only consolation here is that if what is happening is true, then i won't get to see you lots anymore, and that probably will make things easier.

i guess there are more important things to think about right now than a broken heart.

cheers to that,
yuan*

ps. i removed the tape from my cut and it started bleeding again - had to re-tape it. now i'm wondering whether i should get some stitches and tetanus shot for it. =(