my cousin and her family were visiting from bacolod this holiday season and one of the things they contracted us with was to accompany them to enchanted kingdom. having settled in bacolod for quite some time now, they wanted to tour their children around manila and treat them to some fun time at EK. it was the first time i was seeing some of my nephews & niece - jayjay, louiane and miles the youngest was only a couple of years older than jacob. they were a bunch of really nice, well-behaved kids who not only played with my nephew but held his hand and looked after him running around EK.
we've sort of become estranged with most of our cousins after grandma passed away. year after year, we've been deprived of reunions, birthday celebrations that would probably not have made us closer but at least offered some form of bond. we have kept in touch with some cousins though but only a few who really takes time to keep the communication alive. the absence of a relationship with the cuz's is no great loss really. maybe there are just some families who doesn't enjoy the kind of close relationship other families have. its probably one of the many reasons i can thrive being alone most of the time - it spurs independence.
again i realized how much older we are - seeing my nephews and nieces - the next generations of our bloodline and how much different their lives are today versus the years past. i had a childhood that was fun and exciting - the kind where i had the pleasure of traipsing along "kangkong" water fields trying to catch dragonflies. funny though that i did that at the vacant lot right beside my grandparents house in mandaluyong. it'd be fun to be children again - at least for a day though. i don't want to go through the motions of growing up again. in some ways, i enjoy being me now.
our time is passing. its the kids turn now.
December 31, 2007
December 29, 2007
2007 recap
2007 has been ... well a busy year. there were a lot of things happening, both great and not so great that to be honest, i can't wait for the coming 2008. hopefully, the next year is going to be b-e-t-t-e-r.
travel. i was in arizona for a couple of months mid-january to mid-march and it was by far the longest trip i had (last time was around 7 weeks). it was kind of different this time because i decided to stay at a serviced-apartment with a fully-furnished kitchen, a jacuzzi and washer and dryer. i had access to a full gym which i rarely used (lol!) and i managed to go a bit around during that trip - first snow and trip to the grand canyon, weekend in oregon with jessica, reuben and morgan and a side trip to new mexico. i was back again in arizona sometime in april for a 3-week stay where i got to go back to see the grand canyon with maricar & bel, then to las vegas and finally to LA and disneyland. in between these US trips, a bunch of friends (ali, allan, arlene, trixy) and i went to eagle point resort in batangas for the summer. the family also went for a long-drive to baguio where jacob enjoyed another round of horseback riding and visiting the sights. on a sidenote, i'll be back in arizona for two-weeks in january (12-26).
work. work was a mixture of ups and downs - lots of stuff going around in this front. it was really disheartening to say the least and i finally decided to start "exploring" what is beyond the big blue's walls. so far the exploration has resulted in a lot of potential prospects (2 locally and one overseas). i'm hoping the coming 2008 will be a lucky year workwise.
school. finally, after more than three years studying (or suffering) i've finally completed all of my mba units including the units required to major in supply chain management. my OCE is still scheduled for january 5 and i remain optimistic that i will pass. the only bad news here that i have not lost sleep over is that i'm not graduating with honors. i did feel a pang of regret about it but i honestly couldn't take writing another paper. what is important for me right now is that i learned a lot during the last three years and that is more valuable than any medal.
family. the highlight of 2007 was my sister being in and out of the hospital. we decided that it will do my sister good to take a break from work so with that, i've officially become the sole breadwinner in the family. being at home, my sister has had more time to spend with my nephew and now looks healthier, not sickly thin like before. the grocery/supermarket has officially been my new past time its become sort of a weekly ritual. because of these events, in a way i've realized more how important the family is and despite the heavy responsibility, its a good feeling to be able to help out. i'm now more cost-conscious and more responsible - both of which is a good thing. my nephew is now 4 years old, talks a lot and despite being naughty is a very loving, sweet young boy. he's really enjoying school and loves to work on his assignments and seeing he got 30/30 in both his language and math exams the last time makes paying that stiff quarterly tuition fee easier. we also brought jacob to enchanted kingdom mainly so we can see if he will enjoy the rides - and he did. this means he's ready for HK Disney in 2008.
friends. 2007 is well a time for change. two very good friends, ali and jona, were out of the big blue at the closing of 2006. iam also decided it was time to go. both the friends i've hang out with in portland, jessica and morgan, have decided to pursue careers outside of the big blue. trixy joined ali at the new blue sometime in may(?). i won't see jerk or ice at the big blue come january. my good friend from costa rica, papeco, also has decided to pursue a career in another industry. 2007 was a indeed a time for goodbyes, a time to pursue our individual paths in life. knowing these people have been truly a gift and while we don't see each other that often today, some of the friendships have grown deeper. other people i've come across with in work left also - ronald, diwani, venus ... there are many more i've lost track of. its truly a time for change.
personal. not a lot happening here. in terms of leisure, mostly just enjoyed the places i visited during my trips to the US. school had me pre-occupied the last six months. in terms of shopping, i did most of the shopping for clothes in arizona and the expenses at home made me think twice splurging on more clothes. i did finally get a macbook though. for the fam, i bought them a new gas range and by feb i'd probably spend a little more to buy them a new ref. been blogging a lot about personal stuff mainly just to pass time or maybe just to keep sane. i've stopped biking altogether - my brother and dad use the bike every now and then. not a lot of "gimiks" in 2007 - its hard to get together when everybody else is busy with their own lives.
i can't think of anything to add here anymore. next on my list will be plans for 2008.
travel. i was in arizona for a couple of months mid-january to mid-march and it was by far the longest trip i had (last time was around 7 weeks). it was kind of different this time because i decided to stay at a serviced-apartment with a fully-furnished kitchen, a jacuzzi and washer and dryer. i had access to a full gym which i rarely used (lol!) and i managed to go a bit around during that trip - first snow and trip to the grand canyon, weekend in oregon with jessica, reuben and morgan and a side trip to new mexico. i was back again in arizona sometime in april for a 3-week stay where i got to go back to see the grand canyon with maricar & bel, then to las vegas and finally to LA and disneyland. in between these US trips, a bunch of friends (ali, allan, arlene, trixy) and i went to eagle point resort in batangas for the summer. the family also went for a long-drive to baguio where jacob enjoyed another round of horseback riding and visiting the sights. on a sidenote, i'll be back in arizona for two-weeks in january (12-26).
work. work was a mixture of ups and downs - lots of stuff going around in this front. it was really disheartening to say the least and i finally decided to start "exploring" what is beyond the big blue's walls. so far the exploration has resulted in a lot of potential prospects (2 locally and one overseas). i'm hoping the coming 2008 will be a lucky year workwise.
school. finally, after more than three years studying (or suffering) i've finally completed all of my mba units including the units required to major in supply chain management. my OCE is still scheduled for january 5 and i remain optimistic that i will pass. the only bad news here that i have not lost sleep over is that i'm not graduating with honors. i did feel a pang of regret about it but i honestly couldn't take writing another paper. what is important for me right now is that i learned a lot during the last three years and that is more valuable than any medal.
family. the highlight of 2007 was my sister being in and out of the hospital. we decided that it will do my sister good to take a break from work so with that, i've officially become the sole breadwinner in the family. being at home, my sister has had more time to spend with my nephew and now looks healthier, not sickly thin like before. the grocery/supermarket has officially been my new past time its become sort of a weekly ritual. because of these events, in a way i've realized more how important the family is and despite the heavy responsibility, its a good feeling to be able to help out. i'm now more cost-conscious and more responsible - both of which is a good thing. my nephew is now 4 years old, talks a lot and despite being naughty is a very loving, sweet young boy. he's really enjoying school and loves to work on his assignments and seeing he got 30/30 in both his language and math exams the last time makes paying that stiff quarterly tuition fee easier. we also brought jacob to enchanted kingdom mainly so we can see if he will enjoy the rides - and he did. this means he's ready for HK Disney in 2008.
friends. 2007 is well a time for change. two very good friends, ali and jona, were out of the big blue at the closing of 2006. iam also decided it was time to go. both the friends i've hang out with in portland, jessica and morgan, have decided to pursue careers outside of the big blue. trixy joined ali at the new blue sometime in may(?). i won't see jerk or ice at the big blue come january. my good friend from costa rica, papeco, also has decided to pursue a career in another industry. 2007 was a indeed a time for goodbyes, a time to pursue our individual paths in life. knowing these people have been truly a gift and while we don't see each other that often today, some of the friendships have grown deeper. other people i've come across with in work left also - ronald, diwani, venus ... there are many more i've lost track of. its truly a time for change.
personal. not a lot happening here. in terms of leisure, mostly just enjoyed the places i visited during my trips to the US. school had me pre-occupied the last six months. in terms of shopping, i did most of the shopping for clothes in arizona and the expenses at home made me think twice splurging on more clothes. i did finally get a macbook though. for the fam, i bought them a new gas range and by feb i'd probably spend a little more to buy them a new ref. been blogging a lot about personal stuff mainly just to pass time or maybe just to keep sane. i've stopped biking altogether - my brother and dad use the bike every now and then. not a lot of "gimiks" in 2007 - its hard to get together when everybody else is busy with their own lives.
i can't think of anything to add here anymore. next on my list will be plans for 2008.
December 28, 2007
27 on the 27th
ali celebrated her 27th birthday with an after-dinner pizza-pasta-drinks party. the day before, after my so-so interview i went to glorietta in the hope of finding ali a nice xmas/bday gift. i've always said i'm not really good at shopping for others and buying gifts for whatever occasion isn't any different. i think i walked the mall a good hour and a half in my very uncomfortable leather shoes that i was really ready to give up. i finally settled on a few books by some of my favorite authors rather than a really cool coffee table book about manila's restaurants because i had a sort of limited budget.
the party should have been a reunion of sorts, for those who are still part of the big blue and those who have decided to pursue new adventures elsewhere. it was too bad that some folks were not able to make it that night. being back there at ali's house, i couldn't help but reminisce how many parties and unplanned drinking sprees we had the time ali was still part of the big blue. those were some of the best times with the big blue barkada - well, nothing lasts forever right? as usual, the unbeatable bene-jowell tandem took centerstage after a few drinks mingling and passing around shots from table to table. ali's beau, brian, showed us his vocal stylings throughout the night. i didn't really drink much that night, a bottle of beer, two shots of a dark brown liquid in an efficasent-oil kinda looking bottle (lol) and a full shot of gin. it felt like i was really in a better place after - at least in my head. its funny but being away from alcohol for quite some time, i can't handle it as much as i used to before - can't be the age thing di ba? maybe i'm already done with the whole get-drunk phase and i'm really much more of a social drinker nowadays.
i packed up half-past midnight - i didn't plan to get drunk that night anyway. it was great to see everybody, even meet ali's beau and officemates. its probably the last party for 2007 and it was a great one.
i am very thankful for those who gave presents - thank you for remembering. ali, your gift was perfect - i don't have to tell you how much i love it. thanks!
the party should have been a reunion of sorts, for those who are still part of the big blue and those who have decided to pursue new adventures elsewhere. it was too bad that some folks were not able to make it that night. being back there at ali's house, i couldn't help but reminisce how many parties and unplanned drinking sprees we had the time ali was still part of the big blue. those were some of the best times with the big blue barkada - well, nothing lasts forever right? as usual, the unbeatable bene-jowell tandem took centerstage after a few drinks mingling and passing around shots from table to table. ali's beau, brian, showed us his vocal stylings throughout the night. i didn't really drink much that night, a bottle of beer, two shots of a dark brown liquid in an efficasent-oil kinda looking bottle (lol) and a full shot of gin. it felt like i was really in a better place after - at least in my head. its funny but being away from alcohol for quite some time, i can't handle it as much as i used to before - can't be the age thing di ba? maybe i'm already done with the whole get-drunk phase and i'm really much more of a social drinker nowadays.
i packed up half-past midnight - i didn't plan to get drunk that night anyway. it was great to see everybody, even meet ali's beau and officemates. its probably the last party for 2007 and it was a great one.
i am very thankful for those who gave presents - thank you for remembering. ali, your gift was perfect - i don't have to tell you how much i love it. thanks!
December 26, 2007
babble babble
to say i wasn't ready for today's meeting is an understatement, my mind was blank - probably from so much cozying up at home the past few days. it took me longer to answer the questions and however nice, she asked tough questions. i babbled a lot trying to figure out how best to answer each situation. it wasn't hard to figure out soon i wasn't in my element because my head felt sluggish and i found it difficult to say the right things. it must have been the rain, getting wet and the gloom that seemed to envelop the day. i laughed at myself as i walked back to my car, umbrella on hand trying to stay dry. if i don't hear from them in a week and a half then i guess that's the end of that path. i'm not too optimistic also that we will agree when they give an offer because they were quite honest that they won't meet my expectations. hmmm let's just wait and see.
the next few days, i need to focus on finishing my OCE presentation and the documentation i need to prepare for my upcoming trip. ahhhh i'm really super lazy to start any of it - i'm procastinating again but i have the holiday spirit to blame for it. i'm beginning to realize the long holiday is almost over, 7 more days left for me. i really gotta get my groove back.
the next few days, i need to focus on finishing my OCE presentation and the documentation i need to prepare for my upcoming trip. ahhhh i'm really super lazy to start any of it - i'm procastinating again but i have the holiday spirit to blame for it. i'm beginning to realize the long holiday is almost over, 7 more days left for me. i really gotta get my groove back.
December 22, 2007
gettin' ready for 08
one of the things i manage to do seldomly is to clean out my closet and i started doing that today. i've accumulated a lot of shirts the past few years and have not had the time to sort them out. first i took out six pairs of shoes, some of which i think i wore twice or thrice in its entire lifetime i wondered what made me buy them in the first place. the sad thing is these shoes are a bit expensive - diesel, rockport, nike's and adidas even. but i'm following a new policy this year - and that is if i havent' worn it once this year, i probably won't be wearing it next year. when i finished sorting out my closet, out came around 30+ shirts. i figured its time somebody else have use of them and asked mom to just sell them. funny thing that i'm not even getting a single centavo from the proceeds. i'm just happy to get rid of them and yes, start building a new wardrobe.
but of course, first thing is to start slimming down - AGAIN! that's first on my personal goals for 2008. and i don't just mean slim down but work on looking remarkably well. its going to take a lot of willpower but lets see.
can't wait for 2008.
but of course, first thing is to start slimming down - AGAIN! that's first on my personal goals for 2008. and i don't just mean slim down but work on looking remarkably well. its going to take a lot of willpower but lets see.
can't wait for 2008.
December 18, 2007
x/sg update
x/sg set-up the meeting at around 11am this morning and what i thought would be a lengthy conversation turned out to be nothing more than a 10-min chat. lj apologized for not getting back sooner explaining he has been busy with some business trips and some focused needed to meet their yearend targets. quite understandably having worked for the factory as well for more than five years. surprisingly back then, i/we reveled with the hard work and basked in the recognition of meeting our targets. maybe being younger and having the strength to work non-stop made us work harder. nowadays, i don't know if i still have the energy for such rigorous work. or maybe the lull of the past two years have finally made me a slacker - or maybe i'm not seeing things as i should. after all the lull the past two years helped me take care of things at home when B was hospitalized and mom had to look after her. if not for the "flexibility" work afforded me then life then would have been doubly harder. i guess this is the part where you say "things do happen for a reason."
lj explained that he took the past four(?) weeks to talk to other people and i guess him still talking to me means i'm still being considered. he mentioned we are at the last leg of the journey and asked me to fill-up their formal application form. in some way, yes i am quite elated knowing i have a good chance of moving to SG but at the same time, i look forward more to a local prospect in a completely different industry.
i'm beginning to think that maybe i really need a fresh start again. i need a new environment wherein i don't know a whole lot of people. maybe having new friends isn't that bad - my other friends have moved on, and its time i should too. x/sg will give me a new lease on life - there's no fresher start than that. j/rr> also is a fresh start in a completely different way. i probably would have an easier time making my choices in a different time, but the situation is different now. i have to make the practical choice, and whatever that is we're all going to find out soon enough.
lj explained that he took the past four(?) weeks to talk to other people and i guess him still talking to me means i'm still being considered. he mentioned we are at the last leg of the journey and asked me to fill-up their formal application form. in some way, yes i am quite elated knowing i have a good chance of moving to SG but at the same time, i look forward more to a local prospect in a completely different industry.
i'm beginning to think that maybe i really need a fresh start again. i need a new environment wherein i don't know a whole lot of people. maybe having new friends isn't that bad - my other friends have moved on, and its time i should too. x/sg will give me a new lease on life - there's no fresher start than that. j/rr> also is a fresh start in a completely different way. i probably would have an easier time making my choices in a different time, but the situation is different now. i have to make the practical choice, and whatever that is we're all going to find out soon enough.
December 17, 2007
still on the running
ali, elmer & i decided to meet up for a long overdue get together at mall of asia monday night. funny we chose mall of asia considering the three of us used to have really long, over-extended lunches before ali moved to the new blue. i picked up ali from her house and we had some time to catch-up like we always do. i gave her updates on my ongoing quest in finding greener pastures and told her i was really holding back in following up on my last meeting with the prospect in SG. honestly i wasn't even sure my application was still active since i have not really heard anything from them for probably 3 or 4 weeks now. as if on cue, my mobile rang and i could tell the area code was from SG. the guy asked if i could talk and whether i was still "looking" and of course i said "yes" to the latter and told him we should schedule something tomorrow instead since i was on the road. i could have talked more but i don't really like ambush interviews, being the OC kid that i am, i need to plan for the unexpected and delude myself that "yes, i have prepared for any eventualities."
i am happy that i have a lot more options now that a week or two ago and while, like i said in a previous post, i am more inclined to pursue my interests in another industry - having the SG option is still a blessing. i don't know what we are going to talk about tomorrow but that call meant that my application is still active and i am still being considered. that is already a good enuf reason to rejoice.
after an overpriced dinner at italliani's and coffee at starbuck's, we sat down for our usual chit-chat. updates on most things related to the big blue - including the current status of those who were left behind. i can't believe elmer, ali & i are no longer working for the same company - how quickly time flies, even when you're no longer having fun. its nice to know we can still find time to have these get togethers despite our busy and not-so busy schedules. we're keeping the friendship alive and that's what's important.
i am happy that i have a lot more options now that a week or two ago and while, like i said in a previous post, i am more inclined to pursue my interests in another industry - having the SG option is still a blessing. i don't know what we are going to talk about tomorrow but that call meant that my application is still active and i am still being considered. that is already a good enuf reason to rejoice.
after an overpriced dinner at italliani's and coffee at starbuck's, we sat down for our usual chit-chat. updates on most things related to the big blue - including the current status of those who were left behind. i can't believe elmer, ali & i are no longer working for the same company - how quickly time flies, even when you're no longer having fun. its nice to know we can still find time to have these get togethers despite our busy and not-so busy schedules. we're keeping the friendship alive and that's what's important.
December 11, 2007
so far so good
j/rr> update
i had to wait for a half-hour since ja was late due to traffic and surprisingly for me, the ride was smooth and i got there way too early than the appointed time. ja's questions were ok - some did require me to pause a bit and think of my answers. the situational questions i thought i managed fairly well. ja said normally that i should have had a prelim meeting before i met with her but she mentioned i came highly recommended by jvt. ja said she liked me and i will have to meet with sam. hopefully all of these weren't just conversation and that i have a good chance with j/rr>.
incidentally, j/rr>'s building isn't as corporate looking as i hoped for but i think i can swing it. at the end of the day, what is important is the $ i bring home. its also growing and they are quite aggressive so its going to be a challenge.
( + )
> totally different environment
> most likely can afford expected compensation
> 70/30 CL; 30% TS
> $1B filipino-owned corporation, still growing
( - )
> office looks more warehouse
> probably no travel opportunity
a> update
i wasn't really looking forward to this meeting this late afternoon but i decided that while there are no deals closed yet, i should continue and pursue all avenues. i have to say that i was in my element today being able to answer most of the questions very well, even at times eliciting comments like "very well said" throughout. at the end, gl did say i am definitely being considered but the $ i was asking for was in the range of his level - and i am being considered one level below. it seems though that i made a good impression on gl and next step would likely be discussion of the offer, then a final meeting.
( + )
> totally different environment
> $9B multi-national corporation
> travel opportunities including 1-2 yr expatriate possibilities
( - )
> most likely will not be able to meet expected compensation
> work hours - 3pm to 3am ---> yeah, ugh!
> joining bond, training bond
i'm happy to be presented with possible options if things work out, God-willing. Right now, i'm more inclined with the j/rr> versus a> but i am keeping my options open. hopefully i get an update soon because if i make the decision to leave, i would opt to cancel that jan 12-26 trip to az. it doesn't feel right to go and like always, i don't want people saying things behind my back.
i had to wait for a half-hour since ja was late due to traffic and surprisingly for me, the ride was smooth and i got there way too early than the appointed time. ja's questions were ok - some did require me to pause a bit and think of my answers. the situational questions i thought i managed fairly well. ja said normally that i should have had a prelim meeting before i met with her but she mentioned i came highly recommended by jvt. ja said she liked me and i will have to meet with sam. hopefully all of these weren't just conversation and that i have a good chance with j/rr>.
incidentally, j/rr>'s building isn't as corporate looking as i hoped for but i think i can swing it. at the end of the day, what is important is the $ i bring home. its also growing and they are quite aggressive so its going to be a challenge.
( + )
> totally different environment
> most likely can afford expected compensation
> 70/30 CL; 30% TS
> $1B filipino-owned corporation, still growing
( - )
> office looks more warehouse
> probably no travel opportunity
a> update
i wasn't really looking forward to this meeting this late afternoon but i decided that while there are no deals closed yet, i should continue and pursue all avenues. i have to say that i was in my element today being able to answer most of the questions very well, even at times eliciting comments like "very well said" throughout. at the end, gl did say i am definitely being considered but the $ i was asking for was in the range of his level - and i am being considered one level below. it seems though that i made a good impression on gl and next step would likely be discussion of the offer, then a final meeting.
( + )
> totally different environment
> $9B multi-national corporation
> travel opportunities including 1-2 yr expatriate possibilities
( - )
> most likely will not be able to meet expected compensation
> work hours - 3pm to 3am ---> yeah, ugh!
> joining bond, training bond
i'm happy to be presented with possible options if things work out, God-willing. Right now, i'm more inclined with the j/rr> versus a> but i am keeping my options open. hopefully i get an update soon because if i make the decision to leave, i would opt to cancel that jan 12-26 trip to az. it doesn't feel right to go and like always, i don't want people saying things behind my back.
December 09, 2007
family day
saturday was mom's birthday and we decided to go out and have lunch. we finally managed to convince my brother to go with us and despite all our differences, it was great to go out as a family. it is during these rare ocassions when we hang out together that our family feels more "normal." we decided to go to mall of asia for lunch mostly because we wanted to check out the bazaar at the world trade center after. during the drive, my nephew was all smiles and excited not only because he loves going out but because he had most of the family with him that day. i wondered if there was a lot of people out there who wished they had a different family. when i was younger, i always dreamed about having the perfect family and what probably amounted to at that time a perfect life for me. looking back, i realize how foolish those thoughts are - and despite the problems and the burdens, i have this family for a reason.
it was quite a challenge figuring out where to have lunch - we did not really plan on anything extravagant that day so we just settled for a quick bite at terriyaki boy. i like terriyaki boy - terriyaki chicken is probably one of the my most favorite things to eat (lol!). quite honestly though, i don't really get why mom loves ebi tempura so much because i find it quite bland and tasteless most of the time. we roamed around for a bit when we finally chanced upon the SM appliance store and i invited everyone to come and check refs and gas ranges. i was thinking about buying the family a new gas range since we recently found a passion for cooking and after 30+ years of service, our gas range needed to retire. the gas range that i really dream of is pretty expensive and pretty big and since i have been taking care of the family expenses, it wasn't a wise choice to buy the dream. so i settled for something probably 1/2 of the cost but still was gorgeous enough to fuel our passion for cooking. maybe when we have a bigger house then we can replace it - teehee.
when we passed by the trade center it was packed and we couldn't even find any parking space so we decided that going was not worth it - at least that day so we decided instead to have our weekly trip to S&R. we bought stuff for lumpiang shanghai, home-made sausages and barbecue pork ribs. yum! its 15 days before christmas, 21 more before the year ends. look how fast time flies and the merriest month of the whole year is going to end soon. its probably better to enjoy december while its here but i can't help but feel a small pang of regret about the days passing by so soon. i probably wouldn't mind being trapped in an endless december - christmas, then new year then christmas again. work 2 wks, then christmas holidays the next 2 weeks. then start all over again. back to reality, we need to start planning for our christmas dinner - i'm so excited to start cooking in our new gas range. hihihi ang babaw di ba?
it was quite a challenge figuring out where to have lunch - we did not really plan on anything extravagant that day so we just settled for a quick bite at terriyaki boy. i like terriyaki boy - terriyaki chicken is probably one of the my most favorite things to eat (lol!). quite honestly though, i don't really get why mom loves ebi tempura so much because i find it quite bland and tasteless most of the time. we roamed around for a bit when we finally chanced upon the SM appliance store and i invited everyone to come and check refs and gas ranges. i was thinking about buying the family a new gas range since we recently found a passion for cooking and after 30+ years of service, our gas range needed to retire. the gas range that i really dream of is pretty expensive and pretty big and since i have been taking care of the family expenses, it wasn't a wise choice to buy the dream. so i settled for something probably 1/2 of the cost but still was gorgeous enough to fuel our passion for cooking. maybe when we have a bigger house then we can replace it - teehee.
when we passed by the trade center it was packed and we couldn't even find any parking space so we decided that going was not worth it - at least that day so we decided instead to have our weekly trip to S&R. we bought stuff for lumpiang shanghai, home-made sausages and barbecue pork ribs. yum! its 15 days before christmas, 21 more before the year ends. look how fast time flies and the merriest month of the whole year is going to end soon. its probably better to enjoy december while its here but i can't help but feel a small pang of regret about the days passing by so soon. i probably wouldn't mind being trapped in an endless december - christmas, then new year then christmas again. work 2 wks, then christmas holidays the next 2 weeks. then start all over again. back to reality, we need to start planning for our christmas dinner - i'm so excited to start cooking in our new gas range. hihihi ang babaw di ba?
December 06, 2007
self-destructive
its bad enough that dad isn't the source of income in our family but to have a drinking spree and not be able to handle his alcohol and pick a fight with a neighbor is just too much. i don't really resent not ever being his favorite growing up nor being close to him like my younger brother, but what he does is self-destructive and ruins our good name. i don't really care what the neighbors think about us nor whatever gossip they pass around to get them through the day. i just don't like him dragging the rest of us into whatever hell hole he is digging. yes, cold as it may sound, i don't really have a lot of good things to say about my father. i am not even ashamed to admit he's sort of the good-for-nuthin' kind of dad. a lot of people will probably not understand why i feel this way but i have my reasons.
i would have been ok to help him out on his medications (for his diabetes) except that if i give him the money, he would just most likely treat his friends to some drinking session. besides, isn't it a fact that medicines and alcohol don't mix well? having no steady income, anybody else would have saved whatever little money for more important things - but that is not how he is. its irritating when he comes home mid-afternoon and while rummaging for food throws out sarcastic comments on the leftovers like "ano yan, tira?" this is much like the same stuff he says when i bring home half-eaten food from restaurants i had dinner from. the nerve! its mid-afternoon so they are really leftover from lunch and whoever said that the half-eaten, still yummy food i took home were for him anyway. yeah i am venting. i don't like to be angry but i am very very angry.
it sucks to be stuck with a deadbeat dad, i can tell you that. i could really do more for the rest of the family if the deadweights were gone.
sigh, the cross i bear just keeps getting heavier.
i would have been ok to help him out on his medications (for his diabetes) except that if i give him the money, he would just most likely treat his friends to some drinking session. besides, isn't it a fact that medicines and alcohol don't mix well? having no steady income, anybody else would have saved whatever little money for more important things - but that is not how he is. its irritating when he comes home mid-afternoon and while rummaging for food throws out sarcastic comments on the leftovers like "ano yan, tira?" this is much like the same stuff he says when i bring home half-eaten food from restaurants i had dinner from. the nerve! its mid-afternoon so they are really leftover from lunch and whoever said that the half-eaten, still yummy food i took home were for him anyway. yeah i am venting. i don't like to be angry but i am very very angry.
it sucks to be stuck with a deadbeat dad, i can tell you that. i could really do more for the rest of the family if the deadweights were gone.
sigh, the cross i bear just keeps getting heavier.
read this : what will matter
a friend sent this and i thought to share this brilliant piece by michael josephson.
what will matter
by michael josephson
ready or not,
someday it will all come to an end.
there will be no more sunrises,
no minutes, hours or days.
all the things you collected,
whether treasured or forgotten,
will pass to someone else.
your wealth,
fame and temporal power
will shrivel to irrelevance.
it will not matter what you owned
or what you were owed.
your grudges, resentments, frustrations,
and jealousies will finally disappear.
so, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans
and to-do lists will expire.
the wins and losses
that once seemed so important
will fade away.
it won't matter where you came from,
or on what side of the tracks you lived,
at the end.
it won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
so what will matter?
how will the value of your days be measured?
what will matter is not what you bought,
but what you built;
not what you got,
but what you gave?
what will matter is not your success,
but your significance.
what will matter is not what you learned,
but what you taught.
what will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.
what will matter is not your competence
but your character.
what will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
what will matter is not your memories,
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
what will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.
living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
its not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
choose to live a life that matters.
what will matter
by michael josephson
ready or not,
someday it will all come to an end.
there will be no more sunrises,
no minutes, hours or days.
all the things you collected,
whether treasured or forgotten,
will pass to someone else.
your wealth,
fame and temporal power
will shrivel to irrelevance.
it will not matter what you owned
or what you were owed.
your grudges, resentments, frustrations,
and jealousies will finally disappear.
so, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans
and to-do lists will expire.
the wins and losses
that once seemed so important
will fade away.
it won't matter where you came from,
or on what side of the tracks you lived,
at the end.
it won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
so what will matter?
how will the value of your days be measured?
what will matter is not what you bought,
but what you built;
not what you got,
but what you gave?
what will matter is not your success,
but your significance.
what will matter is not what you learned,
but what you taught.
what will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.
what will matter is not your competence
but your character.
what will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
what will matter is not your memories,
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
what will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.
living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
its not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
choose to live a life that matters.
an awesome "dexter" finale
the final 2 episodes of "dexter" were (un)fortunately leaked into the internet and after watching it i'd have to say that those were two freakin' awesome episodes. it wasn't devoid of the dark, delicious gory story arc that "dexter" has been known for. sure, it can be disconcerting at times but despite its dark and twisted plot, "dexter" is addicting. i thought season 2 was more engaging and suspenseful than season 1 and that is clearly being seen in the ratings - "dexter" has been luring a lot more fans this season. michael c hall is one talented actor and plays dexter so convincingly that it freaks me from time to time. kudos to showtime for bringing to life one really, really great show.
December 04, 2007
13 days to go
nope, its not 13 days to go before CHRISTmas. its actually still 21 days to go before the big day but what i'm already excited about is that come december 17, i'll officially be on vacation --- that'll be 17 full days of not working! obviously i'm very elated about that, add to that i'll be on VL on the 10th for some VERY important meeting and the 13th is a holiday at the office. i'll finally have devoted time to take care of things i've sort of put off for some time. come january, probably have 1 1/2 weeks of work and then fly off to the Az for the face-to-face. yay to more mileage & shopping --- not!
as tradition brings it and with dear friend cindy in town, we had a get together of sorts last night at hula-hula at westgate. the food was surprisingly good - and yes, i shied away from eating rice starting yesterday but i found it a bit expensive. the conversations that night was a mixture of nostalgia, family experiences and mostly updates on what we've all been doing lately. some good news also about heids and lea both having their second addition to their families. everyone seemed to be in high spirits - all happy to see everyone else. this is what's so nice about our friendship, no matter the distance or the last time we got together, we can always readily pick up where we left off as if it was yesterday. joh turns out to be interested in pursuing (or at least showing interest in) photography. we're both looking at hopefully buying a nikon d80 to kick off our hobby, take some photography classes on the side while we try to fit in some culinary courses. wonder how well we'd be able to do that - but just making plans is fun. let's see how these planning turns out.
2007 is almost over. hope i get GREAT news before the year ends. or hopefully 2008 starts with more good news.
as tradition brings it and with dear friend cindy in town, we had a get together of sorts last night at hula-hula at westgate. the food was surprisingly good - and yes, i shied away from eating rice starting yesterday but i found it a bit expensive. the conversations that night was a mixture of nostalgia, family experiences and mostly updates on what we've all been doing lately. some good news also about heids and lea both having their second addition to their families. everyone seemed to be in high spirits - all happy to see everyone else. this is what's so nice about our friendship, no matter the distance or the last time we got together, we can always readily pick up where we left off as if it was yesterday. joh turns out to be interested in pursuing (or at least showing interest in) photography. we're both looking at hopefully buying a nikon d80 to kick off our hobby, take some photography classes on the side while we try to fit in some culinary courses. wonder how well we'd be able to do that - but just making plans is fun. let's see how these planning turns out.
2007 is almost over. hope i get GREAT news before the year ends. or hopefully 2008 starts with more good news.
December 03, 2007
steady sunday
one of the great things about sunday is that traffic seems and feels like a thing of the past. so far during the past sundays that i've been on the road, it didn't feel like i was living in manila. we decided to take a leisure drive to echague/quiapo/manila sunday to buy some decorative christmas lanterns and what better place to get a bargain than in quiapo. the route felt oddly familiar having at times driven mom to the SM head office for some business before. our decision to leave mid-morning proved to be a wise choice having found a decent parking spot right in front of where the myriad of stalls sold their wares. it wasn't difficult to find the ornaments that interested us except that our initial choice of gold & white stars were out of stock. we settled for some white capiz-laden, illuminated stars instead and bought some yellow/gold capiz stars for our christmas tree. the bigger multi-colored capiz lighted lanters were very much cheaper that we decided to buy one as well. we were in and out of there in less than an hour and were all quite satisfied with our purchases.
the outside of our house looks decently chrismassy right now - its really not to show-off to the neighbors but mostly so that my nephew would be able to enjoy christmas much the same way we did growing up. one of the things i wish for soon is to be able to afford a house for the fam - and while its a really really big dream, dreaming about it is a first step towards achieving it.
the outside of our house looks decently chrismassy right now - its really not to show-off to the neighbors but mostly so that my nephew would be able to enjoy christmas much the same way we did growing up. one of the things i wish for soon is to be able to afford a house for the fam - and while its a really really big dream, dreaming about it is a first step towards achieving it.
November 28, 2007
early next year
after my 1:1 this morning, my boss told me i should plan my trip for W03-04 (jan 12-26) next year since apparently we are going to have another face-to-face for project CR. this is good news, a good way to start 2008 except that this is also how i started 2007 and this year has been a roller coaster ride. i remain positive though that this trip is a forebearer of good news, scratch that, great news. my additional side (the clandestine ones) meetings are lined up for the next couple of weeks. one at dinner on tuesday and another during monday week after next. its the monday meeting i need to really make good of because that is what i'm very interested in. the sort of dinner meeting on tuesday is also quite interesting so we'll see how that pans out.
the exodus of friends out of the big blue is really disheartening - a couple of folks from the other building have declined their offers. maybe its wrong to make friends at work, cause when they leave, its always hard to start making friends again. how do you make friends with folks from a different generation? it used to be that going to the office was something to look forward to - not because of the work but because hanging out with friends was relaxing and fun. now i go with a heavy heart. its really time for a change in scenery - and hopefully mine is around the corner.
the exodus of friends out of the big blue is really disheartening - a couple of folks from the other building have declined their offers. maybe its wrong to make friends at work, cause when they leave, its always hard to start making friends again. how do you make friends with folks from a different generation? it used to be that going to the office was something to look forward to - not because of the work but because hanging out with friends was relaxing and fun. now i go with a heavy heart. its really time for a change in scenery - and hopefully mine is around the corner.
November 26, 2007
well-wishers
i received a comment on a prayer to St Joseph i posted in my blogger (which links to my multiply) last june when i asked for prayers for my sister while she was in the hospital. the comment was signed anonymously (let's call him/her "A") but A mentioned he/she has been praying the novena for the past month and reading the post about my sister mentioned he/she will include her in his/her prayers. A, whoever you are, thank you for thinking of my sister. When my sister was in the hospital a few months ago, i prayed the novena daily and the rosary to help my sister get better. God has been really good and my sister has been doing really well after a month-long stay at the hospital. She has gained weight (as did I) over the past months and i am very thankful to the Lord that He has been there for us. Her condition is something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life, the symptoms comes and goes but she has mostly been well.
i rediscovered the need and the comfort that prayer brings during these trying times. i wouldn't say i've lost my faith but i think life in the fast lane sort of got the better of us. maybe this was God's way of bringing me/us back and while i have maintained my rosary vigil (i try daily with occasional lapses), there are still some more i feel i need to do. prayer works - if you sometimes feel He has not answered, God has His reasons. but i must tell you that the prayers alone provided comfort. God is really good - all the time.
November 25, 2007
lazy day sunday
there's nothing better than a relaxing weekend - read : eat, sleep, watch tv. i stayed home the whole day today to rest following a tiring saturday night (dinner and get together). despite driving the distance, i was glad to come because my nephew had a great time playing with josh last night. i guess lying in bed most of the day can take its toll, my back kind of hurts right now. the gloomy clouds do little to get me to try going to the mall. i'm already late for my christmas shopping much like the previous years. i really need a change in lifestyle - not only because its making me downright chubby but because i am feeling sluggish (ha!). there's something about sunday's closing thats depressing. maybe its the realization that the weekend is going to be over and its another week of working that makes me feel a lot of people feel this way. or maybe its just the feeling when you've run out of passion for what you do. next week is a short workweek though and that's reason enough to rejoice.
december starts next week. christmas is really just around the corner.
december starts next week. christmas is really just around the corner.
November 21, 2007
realizing the truth
as i talked to friends last night, i realized how true it was what they say that "we all want what we don't have." finding the answer to a previous post that honestly has been on my head for the past few days seemed coincidental - except that i don't believe in coincidences. i realized that while we waste time wishing we were somebody else, that life could be better, that we had more money, that we are more popular --- that elsewhere, somebody else would trade places with us in a heartbeat. case in point, friend A who is a celebrity in his own right and who drives fancy cars and hefty prize winnings told us that sometimes he'd wish he could be an engineer like us. It just goes to show that in the grander scheme of things, each of us has a role to play. we may not all be actors, models nor equally rich, famous but we all have our own purpose. and maybe if we look more closely at ourselves in the mirror, we'll realize that what we wanted all along has always been staring right back at us.
November 20, 2007
what we want in this life
being jolted into responsibility makes you re-evaluate your life in general and ponder how much adjustment you have to make to a lifestyle you have grown accustomed to. i look at my friends sometimes and feel a pang of guilt being envious about their financial freedom, or their blossoming love life, and at times their seeming trouble-free existence. what do i really want in this life? is it fame and popularity? having the means to afford ridiculous luxuries? unparalleled success and being looked up to? or a strong & loving relationship. will having any of these make me happy or a better person?
maybe an occasional feeling of envy for what others have can help someone aspire for the better things in life, maybe not. maybe the key to real happiness is keeping your expectations real - and be grateful that whats yours is yours. having the faith and trust that things happen for a reason and God, in this eternal goodness, has His reasons. i think what is most important is that having a job, being able to put food on the table, having a roof and being able to send my nephew to a good school is solace enough.
maybe an occasional feeling of envy for what others have can help someone aspire for the better things in life, maybe not. maybe the key to real happiness is keeping your expectations real - and be grateful that whats yours is yours. having the faith and trust that things happen for a reason and God, in this eternal goodness, has His reasons. i think what is most important is that having a job, being able to put food on the table, having a roof and being able to send my nephew to a good school is solace enough.
November 18, 2007
another round of high school
we agreed to have lunch yesterday over friday afternoon and instead of eastwood i thought it was a good idea to take leo and biboy to sonya's garden instead. i found out none of them have been to sonya's garden before so the change with the usual food fare i thought would be welcome. we met around 10am and braved the highway traffic toward tagaytay along the way laughing so hard on how silly we looked back in high school courtesy of our yearbook i brought for the trip. its funny how much we could make fun of ourselves - how we looked back then sans the x number of pounds we've piled up 16 years after. the "i wouldn't be caught dead wearing that" fashion in style during that time seemed "que horror" in our eyes today. i have to say its nice to get in touch with the past from time to time - not trying to live in it, but just reminisce how much different life was back then. i'm happy to be able to see some of my high school classmates - at least those who would mutually be happy to see me as well. there are "friends" and there are "friendly." we wondered how many of them look today, what kind of lives they're living sixteen long years after high school. it reminded us of "romy & michelle's high school reunion" at least the idea of it and not because we weren't popular. it would be great if a whole bunch of them was in friendster and you could just search for them but at 33, i bet not a lot of them would take the time to open an account. i know some of them are so it would be pretty interesting to check them out.
sonya's garden is always a treat - great lunch, healthy pig-out meal. i REALLY need to hit the gym, christmas is upon us and christmas means get togethers, unending dinner invites, a surplus of sweets which equal fat, fat and more fat. sigh. we took some pictures after lunch and decided to hang out at bag of beans right after. it was another round of desserts at bag of beans where biboy kept saying i should have all of the ice cream from the apple pie a la mode only to find him finishing spoon after spoon of it. the pretend-dieting doesn't really work hahahaha. we listened to so many old OPM songs driving back that i thought my ears were going to bleed. there were a lot of interesting conversations you won't have with any of your other friends and it was really fun hanging out with them.
i was dead tired when i got home - legs & back aching like crazy. i heaved a sigh of relief when ali texted that the gimik for the night is not pushing through. despite being exhausted, i only managed to doze up close to midnight and was up six hours after. why can't i ever get myself to sleep for eight or nine hours straight?
sonya's garden is always a treat - great lunch, healthy pig-out meal. i REALLY need to hit the gym, christmas is upon us and christmas means get togethers, unending dinner invites, a surplus of sweets which equal fat, fat and more fat. sigh. we took some pictures after lunch and decided to hang out at bag of beans right after. it was another round of desserts at bag of beans where biboy kept saying i should have all of the ice cream from the apple pie a la mode only to find him finishing spoon after spoon of it. the pretend-dieting doesn't really work hahahaha. we listened to so many old OPM songs driving back that i thought my ears were going to bleed. there were a lot of interesting conversations you won't have with any of your other friends and it was really fun hanging out with them.
i was dead tired when i got home - legs & back aching like crazy. i heaved a sigh of relief when ali texted that the gimik for the night is not pushing through. despite being exhausted, i only managed to doze up close to midnight and was up six hours after. why can't i ever get myself to sleep for eight or nine hours straight?
November 15, 2007
food for thought
i realized how difficult it must be for stay-at-home moms to plan a meal plan for an entire week. i should know because we've been growing tired of the traditional filipino dishes we've been cooking lately. while its not a case of "we've cooked everything filipino imaginable" we've run out of the easy-to-cook recipes. its only a matter of time before you get tired of eating sinigang, nilaga, tinola, barbecue, paksiw, pata, menudo, caldereta, etc etc ... we always get stumped at the grocery wondering what we should cook for the next week. ugh, who would have thought this can be this hard?
its probably a great time to pursue my hidden passion for cooking, i told myself after mba, i should start pursuing my other interests - culinary, photography, learning a new language, post-processing. i should make an effort rather than wait for things to settle down - with the way life is, things never settle down. maybe i should just wait for this year to be over and then i can start with a priority list (i wanted to say plan, but i said before - i don't want to make long-term plans anymore) for 2008. hopefully, 2008 will usher in the changes which i am so determinedly pursuing this last quarter.
its probably a great time to pursue my hidden passion for cooking, i told myself after mba, i should start pursuing my other interests - culinary, photography, learning a new language, post-processing. i should make an effort rather than wait for things to settle down - with the way life is, things never settle down. maybe i should just wait for this year to be over and then i can start with a priority list (i wanted to say plan, but i said before - i don't want to make long-term plans anymore) for 2008. hopefully, 2008 will usher in the changes which i am so determinedly pursuing this last quarter.
November 14, 2007
high school memories
leo, a schoolmate from high school, is in town again after settling in the US many years back. friends visiting has always been a reason to pool together friends into a "you can't get out" get-together. i wasn't expecting to see either ron or troy at dinner last night (Cyma forever!) but i was happy to see them after a long time. along with biboy & leo, we reminisced like always, about high school and how it was one of the best years of our lives. both troy and ron are married - troy with two going three kids this december and ron, after years of trying finally has a 3-year old daughter. we realized how much older we are that night - ron & troy both looking like daddies while biboy, leo and myself seemed so much younger (this is a fact!). we all have different lives today - troy is with accenture, ron still with sunlife, leo is a structural engineer in new york and biboy is famous for his bowling prowess. in different ways, we are all successful in what we've ventured into and though we all probably have varying degrees of success - all seemed happy - me included.
sixteen years after high school, its hard to remember names and people. we talked about the teachers back in high school, our CAT adventures, riding the train on a whim, walking long distances going home during the rains, including our out-of-town gimiks. high school was a time of just enjoying - at least for most of us. i think when you're still a teenager, you sort of get a free pass to not think of anything except when you're next gimik is. no money problems, no family dilemmas or relationship dramas. it was really easy being happy back then.
one thing troy, ron and i agreed on over dinner is how tired we were from the hustle and bustle of working. maybe at this age, you really start feeling this way - almost twelve years of working already feels like a lifetime. is this what mid-life crisis is all about? shouldn't this happen much later, probably when we're at our 40's (insert cringe here!). Gee, the thought of saying "Hi, i'm 40yo!" is mortifying - am i like those who dread the thought of aging? I hope they find the fountain of youth soon. i pray though that whatever it is we all are searching for, that we find it soon.
sixteen years after high school, its hard to remember names and people. we talked about the teachers back in high school, our CAT adventures, riding the train on a whim, walking long distances going home during the rains, including our out-of-town gimiks. high school was a time of just enjoying - at least for most of us. i think when you're still a teenager, you sort of get a free pass to not think of anything except when you're next gimik is. no money problems, no family dilemmas or relationship dramas. it was really easy being happy back then.
one thing troy, ron and i agreed on over dinner is how tired we were from the hustle and bustle of working. maybe at this age, you really start feeling this way - almost twelve years of working already feels like a lifetime. is this what mid-life crisis is all about? shouldn't this happen much later, probably when we're at our 40's (insert cringe here!). Gee, the thought of saying "Hi, i'm 40yo!" is mortifying - am i like those who dread the thought of aging? I hope they find the fountain of youth soon. i pray though that whatever it is we all are searching for, that we find it soon.
November 11, 2007
amidst the changes
i met ali and trixy last night for coffee at starbuck's in santana grove (probably going to be a regular here) and just like old times, we didn't realize it was already half-past 1 and the store was closing already. amidst the flurry of happy conversations, life sharings and weekend musings i realized how much each of us has changed from the time we first met. i was finally convinced to watch "the pursuit of happyness" since both said it was a good film when it came up in one of our conversations. after all, i did catch a portion of the shooting of this film when i was in san francisco. here are some realizations :
- how cost conscious i've become since becoming the breadwinner for the family. i felt guilty spending P230 for iced mocha and banoffee. it wasn't even because i could not afford it - just felt like i could have fed two people a hearty meal from that same amount.
- seeing "the pursuit of happyness" made me appreciate how blessed i am to not have had to endure what chris (will smith) had to go through to make it. to be thankful to have a job that provides for a family of six without having to live from paycheck to paycheck. God has been extremely generous.
- how nice it is to have great friends - how great it is to be able to be there for them when they need you and them there when you need them. where you feel you belong and you are not there just because you are in the same circle of people. how good it feels to receive an occasional text message or call just to catch up.
November 08, 2007
what it feels like to be in love
read this from trixy's blogpost from the movie "stardust." while i haven't seen the movie yet, now i have this nagging feeling that i should see it soon if not to just hear the monologue below which in its entirety summarizes what it feels like to be in love.
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.
All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you.
Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.
All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you.
Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
assurance
one of the best things in life is having friends.while i tend to be reserved most of the times, i am quite chatty keeping friends updated with the "what's going on" happenings of my life. it just feels nice to have someone share the good news with or to share the burden with - a sounding board in more ways. what is great about it that i draw strength from their encouragement, from their reassuring words and this helps alleviate any reservations, any fear - big or small that i may have. despite being self-assured most days, there are times when i feel less confident of my abilities.i am hoping and praying for the best as things continue to unfold. as windows continue to open. as each day brings hope. God has been really good. Family has been my inspiration. Friends have been encouraging. What i know for certain is that I'll never walk alone.
assurance
one of the best things in life is having friends.
while i tend to be reserved most of the times, i am quite chatty keeping friends updated with the "what's going on" happenings of my life. it just feels nice to have someone share the good news with or to share the burden with - a sounding board in more ways. what is great about it that i draw strength from their encouragement, from their reassuring words and this helps alleviate any reservations, any fear - big or small that i may have. despite being self-assured most days, there are times when i feel less confident of my abilities.
i am hoping and praying for the best as things continue to unfold. as windows continue to open. as each day brings hope. God has been really good. Family has been my inspiration. Friends have been encouraging. What i know for certain is that I'll never walk alone.
while i tend to be reserved most of the times, i am quite chatty keeping friends updated with the "what's going on" happenings of my life. it just feels nice to have someone share the good news with or to share the burden with - a sounding board in more ways. what is great about it that i draw strength from their encouragement, from their reassuring words and this helps alleviate any reservations, any fear - big or small that i may have. despite being self-assured most days, there are times when i feel less confident of my abilities.
i am hoping and praying for the best as things continue to unfold. as windows continue to open. as each day brings hope. God has been really good. Family has been my inspiration. Friends have been encouraging. What i know for certain is that I'll never walk alone.
November 01, 2007
dearly departed
we did our yearly trek to the busy makati south cemetery mid-morning to pay our respects to our dearly departed. being a public cemetery, it was its usual busy self abuzz with people who wants to remember their loved ones. you have to hand it to the filipino and their strong ties with tradition - that despite the 4-day weekend beginning to day, a lot still prefer to go on november 1 to pay their respects. its difficult for us to pay our respects all in a single day since our dearly departed have been laid to rest in different cemeteries - la loma, manila memorial and makati south cemetery. i'll probably swing by manila memorial in the next couple of days instead.
death - the only certain thing in life. i wonder if when the time comes, i will be prepared to come face to face with my maker. to honor the people who have passed on, i'll write what i remember about them here in this space.
evangeline sison. she was mother to my cousins who i never got the chance to meet because she passed away before i was even born. its hard to imagine how difficult it would have been for my cousins growing up without their mother.
carina sison. carina was my cousin who passed away at a very young age. i don't remember exactly but she must have been between 8 to 10 years old. i was very young then - probably just a bit older than her but i remember she got sick back then. one of the things i remember was that after she passed away, her family had to move their door because it was directly aligned to the front gate. people believed the superstition that the doors should not go straight to the gate because this somehow invited death.
dad. mom's father we fondly called "dad" and my uncle, aunts and mom tells me that dad took care of me growing up. its been such a long time since he passed away that its hard to remember now. what i remember was that he used to pick us up at our house during all saint's day so we can pay our respects to our loved ones at manila memorial. dad suffered from cirhossis of the liver - i remember how painful it was for him back when he was in the hospital. when i got the call at home that dad passed away, there were sampaguita flowers scattered near the telephone which was a bit unusual. maybe it was just coincidence.
mang. after dad passed away, mang (mom's mother) gave us ten great years of family reunions. she was the tie that bound everyone together. mang was in the hospital for a bit and i was there in the ICU when she breathed her last. i don't know how my mom and her brothers made the decision for a DNR (do not resuscitate) - how hard it must have been to make that choice for someone you love so much. i miss grandma.
lolo. we called daddy's father "lolo" which was tagalog for "grandfather." lolo was a very nice and generous man. i remember growing up in mandaluyong that we'd always run up to him and ask for some change and he'd readily give us whatever he could spare. we were not that close to our relatives on the father side but lolo was the one we liked a lot. lolo passed away ahead of "mang" but what i remember from his passing is the funeral preparations - seeing lolo taken from his house, driving around manila making arrangements out of his memorial plan, and seeing him at the morgue. lolo was well loved and everyone of his relatives that i met had only great words to say about him.
abet. abet isn't a relative. we didn't even grow up together and i didn't even know him not until he was an intern for the big blue. he rode with me to the office most of the two years that i've known him and we got to talk about a lot of things. abet was funny and serious in balance and i could never get rid of him -- kasi nga sabay kami pumapasok at umuuwi. i don't know until now exactly what he died of - all i know is that abet went ahead at a very young age of 25. we were all heartbroken when he passed away but the pain of his loss felt easier to bear as the days went by.
writing this made me realize how great a childhood i had, having the privilege of growing up with my grandparents. i hope wherever they are right now that they are happy and at peace. i hope abet is at peace. i really believe in my heart they are in a better place - and one day for sure, i will see them again.
death - the only certain thing in life. i wonder if when the time comes, i will be prepared to come face to face with my maker. to honor the people who have passed on, i'll write what i remember about them here in this space.
evangeline sison. she was mother to my cousins who i never got the chance to meet because she passed away before i was even born. its hard to imagine how difficult it would have been for my cousins growing up without their mother.
carina sison. carina was my cousin who passed away at a very young age. i don't remember exactly but she must have been between 8 to 10 years old. i was very young then - probably just a bit older than her but i remember she got sick back then. one of the things i remember was that after she passed away, her family had to move their door because it was directly aligned to the front gate. people believed the superstition that the doors should not go straight to the gate because this somehow invited death.
dad. mom's father we fondly called "dad" and my uncle, aunts and mom tells me that dad took care of me growing up. its been such a long time since he passed away that its hard to remember now. what i remember was that he used to pick us up at our house during all saint's day so we can pay our respects to our loved ones at manila memorial. dad suffered from cirhossis of the liver - i remember how painful it was for him back when he was in the hospital. when i got the call at home that dad passed away, there were sampaguita flowers scattered near the telephone which was a bit unusual. maybe it was just coincidence.
mang. after dad passed away, mang (mom's mother) gave us ten great years of family reunions. she was the tie that bound everyone together. mang was in the hospital for a bit and i was there in the ICU when she breathed her last. i don't know how my mom and her brothers made the decision for a DNR (do not resuscitate) - how hard it must have been to make that choice for someone you love so much. i miss grandma.
lolo. we called daddy's father "lolo" which was tagalog for "grandfather." lolo was a very nice and generous man. i remember growing up in mandaluyong that we'd always run up to him and ask for some change and he'd readily give us whatever he could spare. we were not that close to our relatives on the father side but lolo was the one we liked a lot. lolo passed away ahead of "mang" but what i remember from his passing is the funeral preparations - seeing lolo taken from his house, driving around manila making arrangements out of his memorial plan, and seeing him at the morgue. lolo was well loved and everyone of his relatives that i met had only great words to say about him.
abet. abet isn't a relative. we didn't even grow up together and i didn't even know him not until he was an intern for the big blue. he rode with me to the office most of the two years that i've known him and we got to talk about a lot of things. abet was funny and serious in balance and i could never get rid of him -- kasi nga sabay kami pumapasok at umuuwi. i don't know until now exactly what he died of - all i know is that abet went ahead at a very young age of 25. we were all heartbroken when he passed away but the pain of his loss felt easier to bear as the days went by.
writing this made me realize how great a childhood i had, having the privilege of growing up with my grandparents. i hope wherever they are right now that they are happy and at peace. i hope abet is at peace. i really believe in my heart they are in a better place - and one day for sure, i will see them again.
October 30, 2007
the good and the bad
the veil of gloom has been officially lifted after my meeting this morning. after agonizing so much as to what have gone wrong and the resentment i felt, i'm leaving the bitter part of the last three months in the past where they belong. while my resentment has not fully subsided, what i learned is that i was foolish to think that i could play the game without getting my hands dirty. naivete aside, i learned a valuable lesson - never underestimate the enemy because they come in different forms and if you aren't careful, they can sneek up on you. the rest of the year is starting to look brighter.
unfortunately, dad did not make it when the poll results were tallied. politics is unbelievably dirty - those who want it badly has resorted allegedly to vote buying. witnesses reported that one candidate was handing out sample ballots with P300 bucks and another one with P500. and dad, who decided to run late in the game and who did not really have money and a financial backer to run stood no chance. coming in at #3 without any dole out on his part says something. he ran a clean campaign - and while it wasn't enough to land him the post - that is enough to be proud.
unfortunately, dad did not make it when the poll results were tallied. politics is unbelievably dirty - those who want it badly has resorted allegedly to vote buying. witnesses reported that one candidate was handing out sample ballots with P300 bucks and another one with P500. and dad, who decided to run late in the game and who did not really have money and a financial backer to run stood no chance. coming in at #3 without any dole out on his part says something. he ran a clean campaign - and while it wasn't enough to land him the post - that is enough to be proud.
October 29, 2007
barangay elections
we went to the mandaluyong voting precint quite early this morning to support dad who incidentally was egged on to run for barangay chairman instead of his original plan as kagawad. in a way its good that he's certainly found his calling in barangay politics. i hope that despite the dirt of politics that dad wins. having this responsibility will certainly be good for him.
even though we moved to the southside when we were still younglings, we grew up in mandaluyong. we went there weekends and we fought over who would accompany mom to the wet market. we played with our cousins and the kids in the neighborhood in mandaluyong and despite the distance, we had fun growing up. all our first cousins, save for one family, lives in mandaluyong. both grandparents from both sides lived there. it was the first time after so many years i went back there and its so different now from how it looked the last time. the kids we grew up with all look grown-ups now - quite honestly they all look kind of older than i or my sister do. i remember during college that i used to spend part of my summer there - it was really fun there but people there were quite laid back. the last time i was there was when my grandma (mom's side) passed away - after that, there were no more family reunions - she was the tie that bound us together.
my finger is stained right now with indelible ink. it looks pretty much like a dead nail, only purplish but i'm glad that i exercised my right to vote - and gave my support as a son to my dad. hopefully, things work out for him - God willing.
even though we moved to the southside when we were still younglings, we grew up in mandaluyong. we went there weekends and we fought over who would accompany mom to the wet market. we played with our cousins and the kids in the neighborhood in mandaluyong and despite the distance, we had fun growing up. all our first cousins, save for one family, lives in mandaluyong. both grandparents from both sides lived there. it was the first time after so many years i went back there and its so different now from how it looked the last time. the kids we grew up with all look grown-ups now - quite honestly they all look kind of older than i or my sister do. i remember during college that i used to spend part of my summer there - it was really fun there but people there were quite laid back. the last time i was there was when my grandma (mom's side) passed away - after that, there were no more family reunions - she was the tie that bound us together.
my finger is stained right now with indelible ink. it looks pretty much like a dead nail, only purplish but i'm glad that i exercised my right to vote - and gave my support as a son to my dad. hopefully, things work out for him - God willing.
October 28, 2007
Recipe : Gonzaga BBQ
i got this recipe from a magazine one time i was doing some pampering. i've tried this and i'd have to say its quite a good BBQ recipe. Aside from grilling, i prefer to turbo broil it (healthier alternative) which is actually an easier cooking alternative.
1kg meat (pork kasim, i prefer to use pork ribs)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup banana ketchup
3/4 cup sprite or pineapple juice (i prefer to use sprite)
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 to 2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tbsp liquid seasoning
1. marinate the meat at least overnight. 2 or 3 days makes it much more tastier.
2. grill over medium heat or broil it (turbo broiler or oven).
enjoy.
1kg meat (pork kasim, i prefer to use pork ribs)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup banana ketchup
3/4 cup sprite or pineapple juice (i prefer to use sprite)
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 to 2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tbsp liquid seasoning
1. marinate the meat at least overnight. 2 or 3 days makes it much more tastier.
2. grill over medium heat or broil it (turbo broiler or oven).
enjoy.
old faces
ali finally managed to pull everyone into a get together last night. considering it was a saturday, there were quite a bunch of us - ali, trixy, van, ice, ria, allan, iam and jowell. it was nice to see the old gang together even at least for a few hours that night. ice, ria, van and allan i see from time to time when i go to the faraway office. i last saw ali before her palawan trip, trixy as she sped past me at c5, iam before she packed up from intel and jowell during his farewell dinner last year.
just a couple of years back, driving to cv was pretty well worth it being able to hangout and see these people i've come to call friends. we actually had a great time back then - lots of gimiks, drinking spree's, kapihan sessions - working with them 5 days a week made them like second family. those were the days i miss the most. now, most have taken on new adventures, met new friends - its nice we can steal some time like this. and while we don't see everyone as often, hopefully these infrequent get togethers will be enough to keep the friendship alive.
i am happy though to have me a really great bunch of friends.
just a couple of years back, driving to cv was pretty well worth it being able to hangout and see these people i've come to call friends. we actually had a great time back then - lots of gimiks, drinking spree's, kapihan sessions - working with them 5 days a week made them like second family. those were the days i miss the most. now, most have taken on new adventures, met new friends - its nice we can steal some time like this. and while we don't see everyone as often, hopefully these infrequent get togethers will be enough to keep the friendship alive.
i am happy though to have me a really great bunch of friends.
October 26, 2007
still another week of waiting
the conference call yesterday went quite well - when i want to, i can be quite persuasive, charming and believable. not that i said any lies nor embellished even a bit, when i'm in my element i can be more expressive. there were some more additional questions and i really thought it was time to crunch the numbers but it seems we all have to wait for another week for them to consult with the boss. as far as things are going, they said all vibes are positive.
so far so good then.
so far so good then.
October 23, 2007
almost within reach
everything seems to be unfolding faster than i expected - its exciting but at the same time it scares me. if everything works out, its life changing. tomorrow or the next day, sort of a make or break event. God-willing everything will work out. I just realized i'm thirty-three already (yeah, frac!) - don't really feel and look that old (wala na kokontra) - to be at this stage in life. at a crossroad where choices affect how life moves forward from that point onwards. i'm not yet at that crossroad but i am almost there - and i shiver at the thought of having to make that decision soon. i have to keep things in perspective though and remember that the sacrifice will be well worth it. i know already what decision i will make if all the pieces fits perfectly - its just hard to let go of the familiar.
i guess there really is no right time or right place when and where this happens - life changing decisions. i take consolation in diane lane's "under the tuscan sun" that despite the adversities, the trials and the heartaches - life will be better. hopefully, sooner than we expect.
its almost within reach - just need to pray harder.
i guess there really is no right time or right place when and where this happens - life changing decisions. i take consolation in diane lane's "under the tuscan sun" that despite the adversities, the trials and the heartaches - life will be better. hopefully, sooner than we expect.
its almost within reach - just need to pray harder.
October 21, 2007
when its better not to ...
when is it better to know something? when is it better not to say something? i struggled to find a reason to take the plunge and finally be able to have some peace of mind - and i was really deadset on doing it already but somehow i couldn't. i rationalized that sometimes its better not knowing so that whatever lies ahead in the future remains a mystery. maybe i'm making the wrong decision but i choose to leave the future to God's hands.
this is the problem with my head - i overthink and overanalyze a lot of times. as i was pondering on what happened, i wondered what would have happened if i told mcb how i really felt. but i realized that i could never do that - i guess i don't really have the guts on some things - and sad to say, this isn't one of them. i never really was good at expressing my feelings - anger yes but not the lovey-dovey, pa-cutesy kind. yeah, i can be an emotionless bastard at times but that's me, and that's my way of coping. i've had years of practice. and i've had a lot of people that made doing that easier. not trying to care too much makes it easier not to get hurt.
life then remains a mystery.
this is the problem with my head - i overthink and overanalyze a lot of times. as i was pondering on what happened, i wondered what would have happened if i told mcb how i really felt. but i realized that i could never do that - i guess i don't really have the guts on some things - and sad to say, this isn't one of them. i never really was good at expressing my feelings - anger yes but not the lovey-dovey, pa-cutesy kind. yeah, i can be an emotionless bastard at times but that's me, and that's my way of coping. i've had years of practice. and i've had a lot of people that made doing that easier. not trying to care too much makes it easier not to get hurt.
life then remains a mystery.
house md - season 3
being housebound by choice for the past week allowed me to finish watching season 3 of house (though i still have to catch season 2 hahaha). this was in between my recent addiction to season 2 of pinoy big brother's celebrity edition. admittedly, pbb has its funny moments and that's probably why i'm sort of glued to it. but going back to house - hugh laurie is awesome as dr. gregory house, he can be funny, endearing, hateful but brilliant all at the same time. i'm quite glued to keeping tabs of house right now specially since season 4 started off quite interestingly - with house trying to replace his previous team of cameron, chase and foreman.
house is one of my new favorites. and yeah, hurrah for staying at home.
house is one of my new favorites. and yeah, hurrah for staying at home.
October 19, 2007
such a sad day
i heard the news about the supposedly lpg-related explosion at glorietta mid-afternoon and then realized the extent of the damage to people and property in the primetime news. 8 dead and more than 90 wounded with possibly more trapped in some of the debris caused by the explosion. looking at the damage caused by the explosion, it seems impossible to have been caused by lpg, unless the storage room (of luk yuen) had a gigantic lpg which is doubtful. so i'm left to assume that the explosion was caused by explosives. if it was caused by explosives, how can the people responsible live with themselves. people are dead and a great multitude is injured. there is no justice in taking a life and those who are responsible will surely burn in hell.
its scary because glorietta is a mall i frequent and we were just there last weekend. i'm just glad last weekend was a normal and safe day since i was with my mom, sister and my nephew. i realized when you have kids, you become a bit paranoid - safety is paramount. there's probably no malling for the time being right now.
keep safe.
its scary because glorietta is a mall i frequent and we were just there last weekend. i'm just glad last weekend was a normal and safe day since i was with my mom, sister and my nephew. i realized when you have kids, you become a bit paranoid - safety is paramount. there's probably no malling for the time being right now.
keep safe.
October 13, 2007
caution : improvement required
i like order and when things don't go according to plan, i can't help but get irritated. two weeks ago in the oce briefing i had all my questions lined up specific to those details that wasn't part of the instructions released in the email. i thought at that time i had all my questions answered already and all my classmates who planned on taking their OCE will be able to pass their requirements without a hitch.
i dutifuly went to RCBC a few minutes past 11 mindful that i had to finish all the binding and photocopying before the clock hit 12. i got my copies binded and asked about the eaf and the oce payment which "they" said during the briefing we could pay at the campus where we planned to submit our papers. when i asked T about it, she told me that i had to go to the taft campus to print my eaf and make my payment. i chanced upon ms. p and asked about it and she said i could pay with T. so i went back and told T about what ms. p said and another round of discussion happened. i was trying my best to be patient but this typical run-the-mill scenario was not a first time. T was saying they were just following instructions about not receiving payments blah blah blah. it took another discussion with ms. p before she made a decision and told T to accept my and another classmate's payment. i wouldn't have been irritated if only they told us it was the policy during the briefing but that was one of the questions i asked. to top it off, the transcript of records we requested were not available yet.
its irritating because stuff like this, they should have this nailed by now seeing the OCE happens every quarter. T should also try to learn to be more helpful to the students - ms. p at least made a decision for the best interest of the students. it would have been nice at least for T to have made an effort to offer to clear it up with ms. p when i told her about ms. p's answer when i asked her. i'm irritated because i follow rules, i follow instructions --- to the letter. so when they who give instructions doesn't follow themselves, it ticks me off. and i won't even go into the details about an 1145am oce briefing that started more than an hour late.
i really hope they can improve the system - its becoming a burden when it shouldn't be. sometimes its so easy for them to just ask the students to do things and go wherever. hey, there's parking, there's gas, there's toll expenses which they don't shoulder. our time is as precious as theirs.
really. its a major bummer.
i dutifuly went to RCBC a few minutes past 11 mindful that i had to finish all the binding and photocopying before the clock hit 12. i got my copies binded and asked about the eaf and the oce payment which "they" said during the briefing we could pay at the campus where we planned to submit our papers. when i asked T about it, she told me that i had to go to the taft campus to print my eaf and make my payment. i chanced upon ms. p and asked about it and she said i could pay with T. so i went back and told T about what ms. p said and another round of discussion happened. i was trying my best to be patient but this typical run-the-mill scenario was not a first time. T was saying they were just following instructions about not receiving payments blah blah blah. it took another discussion with ms. p before she made a decision and told T to accept my and another classmate's payment. i wouldn't have been irritated if only they told us it was the policy during the briefing but that was one of the questions i asked. to top it off, the transcript of records we requested were not available yet.
its irritating because stuff like this, they should have this nailed by now seeing the OCE happens every quarter. T should also try to learn to be more helpful to the students - ms. p at least made a decision for the best interest of the students. it would have been nice at least for T to have made an effort to offer to clear it up with ms. p when i told her about ms. p's answer when i asked her. i'm irritated because i follow rules, i follow instructions --- to the letter. so when they who give instructions doesn't follow themselves, it ticks me off. and i won't even go into the details about an 1145am oce briefing that started more than an hour late.
i really hope they can improve the system - its becoming a burden when it shouldn't be. sometimes its so easy for them to just ask the students to do things and go wherever. hey, there's parking, there's gas, there's toll expenses which they don't shoulder. our time is as precious as theirs.
really. its a major bummer.
October 11, 2007
wonderful surprise - part 2
true to his parting words, i got a callback right in the middle of a phone conference i was chairing for another round of q&a. this time, i had to ask them to call me back in the afternoon. truthfully, the call got me excited and it sort of eclipsed whatever feeling of dejection reading the e-mail from a recent prospect telling me they're considering other people. i felt a short pang of regret because i knew the outcome was inevitable. i wasn't ready that time, i wasn't in my element and i knew i wasn't giving the best answers. i'm not making excuses - i'm trying to remain analytical and critical so i know what went wrong and avoid making the same mistake the next time. luck swung in my favor when another prospect followed up my reformatted cv and sample work - that would mean i'm still in the running right? 2 out 3 was too much a blessing already.
i missed the call in the middle of lunch but she called back late afternoon. we had another round of q&a's and i thought i did well. talking on the phone is always easier. i learned some details about the work and about it being a junior position. i'm not really hung-up on titles, i'll be happy as long as i like what i do. it seems now that the decision criteria here if things work out will be the "moolah" package.
driving home thursday, my thoughts of "wow, no phone calls today." ended my phone rang with that area code. she said somebody by chance will be here in Manila and they would like to set-up another q&a - on a sunday. i readily agreed being it probably will take only a few minutes in the morning. it feels like this is really an urgent need because they're really fast tracking it. i'm happy that it feels like my chances for this is getting higher each callback but at the same time i worry about other things - am i ready for this? will i pass my medicals? am i ready to move and not see my nephew everyday? i remain hopeful that this is part of His grand plan. i remain hopeful that everything will work out. God is good.
nothings final until its final.
i missed the call in the middle of lunch but she called back late afternoon. we had another round of q&a's and i thought i did well. talking on the phone is always easier. i learned some details about the work and about it being a junior position. i'm not really hung-up on titles, i'll be happy as long as i like what i do. it seems now that the decision criteria here if things work out will be the "moolah" package.
driving home thursday, my thoughts of "wow, no phone calls today." ended my phone rang with that area code. she said somebody by chance will be here in Manila and they would like to set-up another q&a - on a sunday. i readily agreed being it probably will take only a few minutes in the morning. it feels like this is really an urgent need because they're really fast tracking it. i'm happy that it feels like my chances for this is getting higher each callback but at the same time i worry about other things - am i ready for this? will i pass my medicals? am i ready to move and not see my nephew everyday? i remain hopeful that this is part of His grand plan. i remain hopeful that everything will work out. God is good.
nothings final until its final.
October 09, 2007
wonderful surprise
personally i'm not one who loves surprises - at least not when i'm at the receiving end. it must be the OC in me, the one who likes to see things clearly ahead - at least in the short term. i just like things in order - yeah, OC talaga.
i received a call from my mobile phone mid-afternoon. it was an unexpected call, and as soon as i answered i knew from the sound of his voice he wasn't filipino. it turns out to from someone i worked with before, who i left a good impression on that he called me asking me about a recent opening i applied for. he said he'd set up an interview since he didn't want to influence the hiring manager who incidentally reports to him. i don't know how this will play out but i am just glad of the opportunity by itself. if things work out, its the fulfillment of a wonderful dream. and a chance to give my family more than i can give them right now. it also means leaving a life i've known for the past 33 years and starting over. but maybe that's where this road should lead me. right now, only time will tell.
friday. monday. and now tuesday. i'm making headway.
i remain hopeful because God is good.
i received a call from my mobile phone mid-afternoon. it was an unexpected call, and as soon as i answered i knew from the sound of his voice he wasn't filipino. it turns out to from someone i worked with before, who i left a good impression on that he called me asking me about a recent opening i applied for. he said he'd set up an interview since he didn't want to influence the hiring manager who incidentally reports to him. i don't know how this will play out but i am just glad of the opportunity by itself. if things work out, its the fulfillment of a wonderful dream. and a chance to give my family more than i can give them right now. it also means leaving a life i've known for the past 33 years and starting over. but maybe that's where this road should lead me. right now, only time will tell.
friday. monday. and now tuesday. i'm making headway.
i remain hopeful because God is good.
October 08, 2007
reliving the victorious moments of game 2
its amazing that despite winning, DLSU still has to contend with a lot of insinuations from rival schools, supposed game observers and bloggers. an atenean post saying the game between DLSU and UE was rigged by the Pumarens to blogs and comments saying that the referees were partial to DLSU. There's always accusations of cheating when its not for the team you're cheering for.
regardless of the comments or the endless accusations, can't change the fact on who holds the championship trophy right now. its the green archers.
regardless of the comments or the endless accusations, can't change the fact on who holds the championship trophy right now. its the green archers.
October 07, 2007
DLSU : UAAP Season 70 Basketball Champion
UE played valiantly but La Salle played to win. Final score : DLSU (73) vs UE (64). It was a vindication of the controversies we were in during the last season. I didn't even think we could do it having lost to UE in all games during the eliminations. It just goes to show that all things are possible - including winning the seemingly insurmountable.
We won. A fitting comeback.
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It was a great day in sports today - Manny Pacquiao won his boxing re-match with Barrera. Another filipino worthy of recognition.
In F1, Raikonnen won the Chinese Grand Prix while Hamilton slips out of the race. The last race in Interlagos will decide now who will win the Driver's Championship for 2007. Its an all-out race for Hamilton, Alonso and Raikonnen in two week's time. Yay.
We won. A fitting comeback.
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It was a great day in sports today - Manny Pacquiao won his boxing re-match with Barrera. Another filipino worthy of recognition.
In F1, Raikonnen won the Chinese Grand Prix while Hamilton slips out of the race. The last race in Interlagos will decide now who will win the Driver's Championship for 2007. Its an all-out race for Hamilton, Alonso and Raikonnen in two week's time. Yay.
October 06, 2007
how bad do i want this
the seeming good news from last week was dimmed when he asked me to write another research paper in exchange for a chance to get that recognition. it is a fair request - i knew he wasn't just going to give it to me without any work in return. as we were discussing the terms of it, it felt like something workable - that if i squeeze in time i probably can write something good enough to let him know i want it. the only problem is - i'm not sure i want it that badly to have another go writing. what i need to write about will be quite useful though, i just don't know if its doable to finish it in a week or two's time.
it feels like its the last stretch of the race and i just have to give it one last push - except that a part of me feels that if this was meant for me then it shouldn't be this hard.
it feels like its the last stretch of the race and i just have to give it one last push - except that a part of me feels that if this was meant for me then it shouldn't be this hard.
October 04, 2007
Game 1: DLSU (64) vs UE (63)
I wasn't sure we could do it but we pulled it off. UE was undefeated but La Salle dealt them their first loss the whole season. It was a close game, in ways, as heartstopping as the last game with Ateneo. The next game on sunday is up to anybody's guess - UE probably had the upper hand but after this game, they can't take La Salle for granted. If La Salle wins the championship, its going to be an awesome comeback after a year's absence. If UE wins, its going to also be an awesome comeback for them after being out of the championships for a long time.
UAAP. Brings out the school spirit in everyone.
UAAP. Brings out the school spirit in everyone.
October 03, 2007
where this road leads to ...
it feels kind of weird being in the same place i was 12 years ago. in a way its different because now i am not really someone begging but i am armed with experience, with achievements and its just a matter of whether our needs align together. there's a lot more to see out there rather than the confines of my room or my cubicle and i think its time to venture into something different. i'm sure there will be disappointments along the way and at times its going to leave me with a heavy heart.
coincendentally, i saw this short video wherein a model was saying that during their auditions, 75% of the time they get rejected. and we wonder how they can pursue being in that kind of cutthroat business - and i guess the answer is simple, for every disappointment, there's bound to be a glimmer of HOPE. a chance. i don't know where this road leads to - and i won't know until i take it. if it takes me back to where i am right now, at least i took the journey. no regrets.
coincendentally, i saw this short video wherein a model was saying that during their auditions, 75% of the time they get rejected. and we wonder how they can pursue being in that kind of cutthroat business - and i guess the answer is simple, for every disappointment, there's bound to be a glimmer of HOPE. a chance. i don't know where this road leads to - and i won't know until i take it. if it takes me back to where i am right now, at least i took the journey. no regrets.
October 02, 2007
heard from desperate housewives - season 4, episode 1
this was part of susan's (teri hatcher) dialogue to her ob-gyn doctor dr. adam (nathan fillion) during a scene where susan had an exam and the doctor was discussing that she might be entering "menopause" at her age.
"can i check those diplomas cause i just wanna make sure they're not from some med school in the philippines?"
ouch! that was harsh!
maybe that was supposedly intended in light recent nursing exam controversy but i didn't know they also had such low opinions about our doctors.
"can i check those diplomas cause i just wanna make sure they're not from some med school in the philippines?"
ouch! that was harsh!
maybe that was supposedly intended in light recent nursing exam controversy but i didn't know they also had such low opinions about our doctors.
October 01, 2007
Stills from the DLSU vs ADMU game
September 30, 2007
friday night with yamin
it was a rare chance to see an american idol finalist face to face - specially one who was my favorite in season 5. i almost failed to see elliott yamin's mini-ayala mall tour/concert but luckily the last was scheduled at the town center. luckily, jap was a fellow yamin fan and she was happy to travel all the way down south to catch elliott perform. i rushed through my gym routine (ya, i think i skipped one exercise) to get to the mall around 6pm. there were a lot of people already waiting and by luck, we managed to still get a good spot.
when elliott came to the stage, there were screams of excitement all around. it got louder when he started to perform songs from his debut album. elliott was awesome - there was just no other word for it. he was for me, the rightful winner of season 5. everyone screamed when he belted out "wait for you" - it was a real treat, 8 or so songs was already like watching a full concert. there was even a number of people sporting an "I Love E.Y." t-shirt. clearly, yamminites has invaded manila.
elliott on a friday was definitely a good way to start the weekend.
la salle : we've won
yes! after losing to ateneo thrice in the last four games, la salle finally slams the door on ateneo's bid for the championship. 65-60 was the final score. 4 qtrs of heartstopping action. school rivalry - you just gotta love it! nothing really against ateneo - i think its a mighty fine school and i wouldn't mind being an atenean. the fact though is that fate brought me to la salle and i love being a la sallian.
it was difficult to breathe the whole time watching the game. it was a close fight, each team giving its best. ateneo was a worthy opponent. the araneta was packed with 23,300+ paying patrons watching - its a pity i am at home watching it only through the tube.
it doesn't really matter if la salle doesn't beat UE in the finals. the la salle-ateneo game today was the only game that mattered. if UE wins the trophy, then they deserve it - they sweeped the eliminations and that counts for something.
animo la salle!
it was difficult to breathe the whole time watching the game. it was a close fight, each team giving its best. ateneo was a worthy opponent. the araneta was packed with 23,300+ paying patrons watching - its a pity i am at home watching it only through the tube.
it doesn't really matter if la salle doesn't beat UE in the finals. the la salle-ateneo game today was the only game that mattered. if UE wins the trophy, then they deserve it - they sweeped the eliminations and that counts for something.
animo la salle!
September 28, 2007
grey's anatomy is back!
its back! i was giddy the whole time waiting for my desktop to finish downloading and i was glued to my monitor watching it. the season premiere was pretty good. its nice that people at seattle grace are evolving - the interns are now residents and they're now in charge of interns of their own. the first episode sort of picks up 17 days after the last episode. its going to be interesting how they tie all the stories together now that there are more characters in the story. i guess the story will revolve for a time on meredith & her relationship with her half-sister. and i'd have to say, i think break-up sex is hot! hahaha and hold on to the last scene which will keep you hanging - its pretty awesome!
i'm freakin' happy my fave series is back!
September 25, 2007
the long wait is over
last week, the season premiere of "prison break" started with a bang. this week marks the return of most of my favorite shows with new series in tow. the premiere of "gossip girl" made me an instant fan. its the OC + One Tree Hill + Cruel Intentions rolled into a really nice package. I can't wait for the new episode this week.
The season premiere of "Heroes" was better than i expected. I thought it was going to start up slowly but the 1st episode was awesome. It showed us the lives of everyone four months after while at the same time introducing us with more mysteries all in one episode. This series is getting better and better. I'm going to try watching the 1st episodes of "Chuck" and "Journeyman" later and see if they're something worth following.
i did a marathon of "smallville" season five over the weekend and i'm trying to catch up on season six this week before the premiere on thursday. i didn't really like season five that much - thought there were too much filler but season six is looking mighty fine with green arrow and other heroes in tow. season seven i heard will feature bizarro and kara (aka supergirl). that is going to be exciting.
getting back to normal
things are starting to really get back to normal these days. normal in the sense that now that school's over (kind of), i can finally focus on those things that i put on hold when my sister was in the hospital. i'm happy that so far, with each passing day, things are starting to ease up a bit.
- finally managed to go back to my dentist and have my braces adjusted. it didn't feel like i was last there four months ago - that can't be right. i really want to get rid of these braces soon. so far the adjustments does not hurt so bad, its more of a minor inconvenience now so that doesn't really keep me from eating.
- finally went back to the gym after a long abstinence. i did some cardio (as in 10mins lang kaya ko hahaha) and some weights. i really need to get back in shape if i'm still going to use all those size S & M clothes i bought last time.
i'm so tempted to shop. gawd, i haven't shopped in the last four months i'm starting to feel destitute. its taking all my willpower to keep me from going to my favorite shops. now that school is out, its time to refocus my energies and get things organized. i've been lazy for most of the year already and while there's still some more months left in 2007, i should try to salvage this year. some of the things that needs more planning are the following :
- christmas is around the corner and this year, i should finally make good my promise of shopping for christmas presents early. this year should be different. there's really not a lot of people to give presents to anymore - most of the "friends" have moved on.
- now that school's out, its time to seriously consider business prospects. put a plan in place and get things moving. its time to get busy.
- i'll finally have time to learn some new skill - maybe start reading up on post-processing or whatever stuff to awaken my creative talents. i've been so out of touch with it already i fear i've lost it.
there's still work that needs some taking care of and i need to keep that in mind. 2007 wasn't the best year for me and i'm hoping that the rest of the year passes through uneventful. i'm praying hard that 2008 will be a lucky year for me and my family. i'm not sure - but i have faith.
September 18, 2007
prison break - season 3
finally the long wait is over. prison break, season 3 started out with a bang! we know that michael's back in prison - this time in panama and jail this time around is more violent, dirtier with more bad guys = more deaths in the first episode. while episode 1 sorts of gives some clues on what the plot of the season is about, i'm pretty sure there is going to be a lot more twists like the previous seasons. so here's to michael scofield, to lincoln burrows and the rest of the prison gang - hope this season is as addicting as the previous two.
episode 1 was awesome!
September 17, 2007
i will
i admit i was never a big fan of old, old bands - really more pop than i'd admit but a good friend rlin sent me this link to youtube for one of her current favorite songs. and yeah, the song "i will" by the beatles is truly awesome - one of the best love songs. truly one for the emo playlist (sigh!). now i'm definitely missin' someone.
I Will - The Beatles
Who knows how long I've loved you,
You know I love you still,
Will I wait a lonely lifetime,
If you want me to I will.
For if I ever saw you,
I didn't catch your name,
But it never really mattered,
I will always feel the same.
Love you forever and forever,
Love you with all my heart;
Love you whenever we're together,
Love you when we´re apart.
And when at last I find you,
Your song will fill the air,
Sing it loud so I can hear you,
Make it easy to be near you,
For the things you do endear you to me,
oh, you know I will. I will.
here's two videos for the song. ben taylor remade the song as well.
September 14, 2007
roadtrip ...
part of the promise we made while my sister was in the hospital a few months ago was to visit manaoag. now that school's over we're finally going tomorrow. we were only planning to go on a day trip to manaoag but i suggested that since we're already traveling that far - we should take a side trip to baguio. this is kind of exciting because its the first time my nephew is going to travel this far and road trips are almost always fun. i'm already packed. coolers at the trunk. now if only i can find my hollister sweater ... hmmm!
September 13, 2007
when will i see your face again
i just love listening to this song right now. the title and the lyrics speaks for itself.
When Will I See Your Face Again - Jamie Scott & The Town
(Verse)
Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You'd Come Again,
But It's Not Fair, Cos You're Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Chaaanged,
I'm A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I'd Hear You Call My Name,
(Chorus)
So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love Youuu...Will I See Your Face Again,
(2nd Verse)
Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Nowww,
'Cos I Don't Know How Much Longer I can Waaait,
I'm A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You're Coming In, I know My Life's Begun,
Tell Me Girl...
(Chorus)
When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,
(Bridge)
You Know That All My Life I've Been Waaaiting,
Waiting For Sooome, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can't Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Awaaaay, Flyyyyyy Away,
Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I've Only Seen Youuu, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)
(Chorus)
When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,
I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That's What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will iii See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh...
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